Seek and Go Hide
part sixteen
The next day dawned unseasonably warm and sunny. Whistling, Jack put the top down on his convertible, double-checked to make sure he had everything he needed for the day and headed for school. As soon as he was under way, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Doug's number. Doug picked up on the second ring.
"Doug hey! Morning! Have you seen this beautiful day?"
"Jack? Hi! Where are you?"
"I'm on my way to school, Fuller Point Road to be exact."
"Jack, you know, cell phones aren't really conducive to good driving..." Doug mock scolded Jack, "...and from what I know of your record, you don't need any additional distractions while driving."
"You're right. I shouldn't have called. In fact, I should probably just hang up..."
"No, no" laughed Doug, "Just tell me, are you using a headset?"
"Absolutely," lied Jack easily. "So, you've looked into my record huh?"
"Wow, you make that sound really dirty."
"It's a skill. Hey, sorry I didn't call you back last night, I got in late."
"No problem, I actually sacked out early. Too many early shifts these days. Where were you anyway?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you..." Jack grimaced momentarily to think what Doug's reaction would have been to what he and Pacey had done if they'd gotten caught. Luckily, implausibly, they had gotten away with it.
Sensing something was up, Doug asked, "You didn't do anything illegal did you?"
"No! Well, nothing that will hold up in court," joked Jack feeling a little guilty. Being on the wrong side of the law was losing its devil-may-care appeal. What had seemed funny and harmless last night now seemed foolish and dodgy. Well, that it, thought Jack with a grin, that's the last car I ever steal. Even if it's not technically stealing. He laughed and prayed Doug wouldn't press the issue. He certainly didn't want to lie to Doug but there was no way he could tell him the truth.
Fortunately Doug acquiesced, "I'm gonna drop this topic now."
"That's probably for the best," agreed Jack. "So your message said something about plans tonight?"
"Are you busy?"
"Well, I should grade papers but I see no reason not to leave my students in suspense for a few more days. What do you have in mind?"
"I remembered that you mentioned wanting to see 'Escape The Timescape' and tonight's the last night it's playing at the Rialto and so I thought maybe we could go see it. If you want to. It's not really the most original idea I know..."
"It sounds good to me. You know it's gotten terrible reviews right?"
"If you don't want to see it..." Doug backtracked afraid he was pushing the issue.
"Oh, I totally want to see it! I just don't want you to have any false expectations...about it being a good movie, I mean."
"Noted. So what time? There's a 5:45 show and one at 8:20."
"8:20 works for me if it's not too late for you."
"Exactly how old do you think I am Jack!"
"I didn't say anything!" Jack faked a sneeze and said, "Geezer!"
"What?! What was that?"
"That? That was a sneeze," replied Jack innocently.
"Oh? Really?" Doug tried to keep his tone serious and steady as he said, "Then let me say gesundheit." He then faked his own sneeze saying, "Unpleasant."
"Dude! Tell me you did not just sneeze the word 'unpleasant' at me?"
"What?"
"You sneeze insults at people - short, snappy insults. Unpleasant? Please."
"Ok, how about this," Doug sneezed again and said, "Obnoxious!"
"Doug, really, you should probably just stop before you hurt yourself. So I'll meet you at the theatre around 8:00? Does that work?"
"Sure." Doug nodded his head and tried to think of something else to say. He didn't want to hang up just yet. Talking to Jack like this made him feel so carefree. It was such a foreign feeling he wanted to savor it for as long as he could.
"So how's your day been so far?" asked Jack cheerfully.
"Busy. Someone smashed some windows over at Harry's Hardware store last night. Made a big mess and I've got the paperwork to prove it."
"Any idea who did it?"
"No witnesses regrettably. But I've got a hunch or two to follow up on." Doug paused as if considering something, "You don't know anything about it do you Jack?"
"I really don't Doug. I'd tell you if I did." Jack tried not to take offense and reminded himself that even if he wasn't a vandal he wasn't exactly an innocent when it came to late night hijinks.
"Ok, well, I had to ask. I guess I better get back to work. I'll see you tonight right?"
"You bet. Have a good day."
"You too." Doug grinned and added, "And Jack? Drive safely."
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Cliff woke to the sound of birds. He groaned and rolled over thinking he was in his bed at home. He wasn't. He fell off the bench with a thud and swore under his breath. The little league dugout was still fairly dark since it faced west but it was obviously morning. He looked at his watch and was surprised to see it was already 8:10. School started in thirty-five minutes. He considered not going but he had no money and no place else to go. School was the only option. Besides he wanted to see Olivia and apologize for exposing her to his home life like that. He stretched and ran his hands through his hair. It occurred to him that if he got to school right away he could sneak into the locker room and have a shower before classes started. That sounded perfect...or as close to perfect as anything was going to get today.
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Cliff had taken his shower and cleaned up as best he could but he still looked pretty scruffy. And he smelled like the sickly sweet bathroom hand soap. He hoped no one would notice. He walked over to the bike racks to wait for Olivia.
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When Olivia got to school she was relieved to see Cliff loitering around the bike racks and scowling at people when they got too close. She hadn't been sure if he would show up today or not. Her heart broke to see him looking so battered and tired. She wondered where he slept last night. If he had slept last night.
She pushed her bike over and tried to be casual. "Oh, hey Cliff. Nice day huh?" She couldn't believe her own stupidity. Why not just say how fun it is getting kicked out of the house? How terrific it is to have a mother who smacks you around? I'm so stupid! Olivia berated herself over her choice of words.
Cliff smiled. Really smiled. He could see she was uncomfortable but it was exactly what he needed to hear. "I think this is probably my favorite day ever." He elbowed her gently until she smiled too.
"Here," she said presenting him with a well-worn brown paper grocery bag.
"What's this?"
She shrugged; she knew enough not to make a big deal about it, "Just some stuff."
He opened the bag and looked inside. He saw a pair of socks, a new toothbrush, a comb, a pack of Big Red gum, a yellow t-shirt and a blue sweatshirt. He looked at Olivia his eyes filling briefly with tears; all he could say was, "Thanks."
She reached up and tenderly touched the small cut under his blackened left eye. She frowned and said softly, "You're ok right?" She held his gaze determined to know the truth no matter what he said.
Her gentle touch sent shivers racing down Cliff's spine, but what really got him was the love in her eyes. No one looked at him like that. No one ever had. "I'm ok. I'm better now." He bent down and kissed her softly on her forehead.
Olivia smiled. She didn't know who was more surprised when she heard herself say, "Cliff? Your aim is a little off." Then she was standing on tiptoe and leaning into him. Her lips found his and the world fell away. Her first kiss was as magical as anything in the movies. She didn't care that she was wearing her ugliest jeans. She didn't care that he smelled like cheap pink soap. She didn't care that they were at school. She didn't care that friends and classmates were all around them. At least she didn't until they started to clap, hoot and holler. As she and Cliff slowly separated, she felt her face turn red. PDA wasn't really her style.
Cliff wrapped an arm around her and drew her to him in a protective embrace. To the crowd he said, "Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here. No wait! Wait! We're fascinating and totally hot. I can see why you don't want to miss this! Come on, crowd around, crowd around! Don't be shy, crowd around! You don't want to miss a minute of our private lives!"
Olivia laughed and shoved Cliff in the ribs. She turned and picked up her backpack and started rummaging through it. Cliff watched as the students turned away and went about their business. Tauntingly, he called after them, "Wait! Come back! I want to tell you about this dream I had! Don't you want to know everything about me?" Once everyone had scattered, he turned his attention back to Olivia and said, "That's awesome. I had no idea reverse psychology worked so well on mobs. It makes sense I guess when you figure people are basically pigheaded sheep. What are you looking for?"
"It wasn't really a mob," from the bottom of her bag Olivia produced a squashed and greasy looking bag. "Want some semi-flattened breakfast?"
"If that bag contains breakfast burritos you will officially be the most amazing girl in the world."
"Sorry they're like, so mashed up. Do I get a tiara or something?" she asked as she pulled them out and handed him one.
He unwrapped it immediately and took a huge bite. "Soon enough," he said through a mouth full of egg and sausage. He smiled at her, "Tasty!"
"Let's go sit down and eat like civilized people. The bell's going to ring in like 3 minutes." She walked over to a bench as she unwrapped her own food.
Cliff followed close behind, "How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Make bossy so sexy?"
She rolled her eyes and said, "Shut up."
"Yes m'am."
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Doug looked up at the clock and was surprised to see that it was already lunchtime. The morning had flown by. He had plowed through a lot of work thanks to his very single-minded focus. He had had to force himself not to think about Jack because if he did, he started getting nervous and spacey and twitchy. None of these emotions sat well with him - especially at work! So he made a point to stay extra busy and he meant to stick to the plan even if it killed him.
Might as well head over to the school, he thought to himself, see if I can find anything out about that incident at Harry's place. But first, he had to make a phone call.
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Olivia sat cross-legged on the bench next to Cliff as he attempted to quickly fill out the Spanish worksheet he had due next period. She knew she shouldn't just tell him the answers but she hated to see him struggle.
"Number eight is "Lucia crea que esta película es aburrida."
"Huh?"
"Lucia thinks that the movie is boring."
"Lucia's lucky she doesn't have to do this worksheet."
"Here just write this down for number nine: ¡Óigame! ¿Quien ese chico? Put the accent over the o. And for ten write: Es un amigo mio. Venido te lo presento."
"What's it mean?" asked Cliff as he hastily scribbled it down.
Olivia countered with a dry smile, "You really want to know?"
"Uh, no?"
"I didn't think so. Don't worry it's right."
Cliff snickered, "Trust me I'm not worried about it being right. I know it's right, Smarty." And with that he leaned over and kissed her again. "Thanks. Some more." His forehead rested lightly against hers.
"You're not just kissing me because I'm doing your homework and you're grateful are you?" asked Olivia softly.
"No, I'm kissing you because you're the most amazing girl in the world." He kissed her again.
She smiled a lopsided smile and quipped, "The breakfast burrito really wasn't that good."
"Oh yes, it really was."
As the kissing intensified, Cliff moved closer to her and in doing so, knocked all his books and papers to the ground. Neither of them noticed. But Doug did.
"Ahem. Mr. Granger, I think your homework is blowing away."
The two kids flew apart and Cliff scrambled to pick up his stuff. "Thanks Sheriff. Detaining homework, now that's what I call going above and beyond the call of duty."
Doug eyed Cliff levelly but didn't say anything. He noticed the black eye and thought back to what Tanya Granger had said on the phone. He had a feeling he hadn't gotten the whole story.
Cliff squirmed a little, "Nice day huh? Doesn't feel like March in Massachusetts at all. Practically balmy. If I didn't know better..."
Doug cut him off, "Cliff, we need to talk..." He glanced at Olivia and finished, "...Alone."
She took the hint and interjected, "You know I'm going to go get a soda so, you two...uh, whatever..." She smiled and scurried off with her fingers crossed. Please don't let him get into any more trouble!
"What's a nice girl like that doing with you Cliff?" Doug's small smile took the edge off his words.
"Hey, you were the one to point out what a good friend she was..."
"I hope you remember that." Doug held Cliff's gaze until Cliff gave a small nod and looked at his feet. "What happened to your eye?"
"I ran into a door."
"A door huh? Cliff, if you need help, I'll help you. But you've got to be straight with me."
"Can you arrest a door Sheriff?" asked Cliff his voice full of contempt and derision.
"When you're ready to talk without the wall of smart mouth sarcasm, I hope you'll come find me. Until then...I guess all I can do is tell you to watch out for those doors." Doug sighed; sometimes his job could be so frustrating. "So, I talked to your Mom..."
"Great. She sober?"
"She told me you didn't come home last night. Said you were angry. Said she didn't know what you might do. Seemed to think you might be in the mood to smash some windows. And what do you know? Some windows got smashed last night. Care to tell me where you were between 10:00 and 4:00?"
"Well, I was home until she went crazy and kicked me out. For no reason."
"So where were you?"
"When?"
Doug remained clam but couldn't refrain from gritting his teeth. He repeated, "Between 10 and 4."
"I was...here. In Capeside. Great state of Massachusetts."
"Look Cliff, maybe you think that because I personally happen to like you, you can jerk me around or get away with something. Newsflash bucko, that's not happening. You wanna give me a straight answer or do I have to get severe with you?"
"Bucko?"
"Last chance Cliff..."
"Look, Sheriff...I can't tell you where I was...because...because I wasn't really...it's just..." Cliff shuffled his feet and looked despondently at the dirt. He had no idea how he was going to get out of this. Luckily, Olivia hadn't gone far.
"He was at my house last night Sheriff Witter. He doesn't want to say because he wasn't supposed to be there and if my folks knew I'd be grounded for like six months but he was there. He got there a little after 10:15, after the fight with his mom and he left at 6:30 before my parents woke up. So whatever you think he did, he didn't do it. He was with me ok?"
"That's a very enlightening story Miss Perkins." Doug turned to Cliff and said, "If it's true. Is it true Cliff? Or could your friend be lying to cover for you?"
"I'm not lying!" Olivia sounded indignant and insulted by the allegation.
"She's telling the truth Sheriff." Cliff reached over and took Olivia's hand; he held it tight as they faced down Doug.
Olivia looked so grim and determined that Doug found it impossible to believe she was telling anything other than the truth. Doug sighed, "Ok then. The search for the vandal continues. Cliff, I recommend you talk to your mother. And if you hear anything - either of you - I'd appreciate a heads up. And Cliff, I meant what I said. Afternoon kids."
Doug walked away feeling frustrated. If it hadn't been Cliff doing the damage then he had no idea who else it could be. As Sheriff, that was an exasperating position to be in.
Olivia and Cliff silently watched Doug walk away. Once he was out of sight, Olivia whispered, "Did you do it?"
Cliff looked down at her sweet, strained face. He couldn't believe she had lied for him. She didn't lie ever. She was the most honest, forthright person he knew. He couldn't bear to disappoint her, not now, not when things were starting to be so good between them. "No. No I didn't."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Really really?"
"Really really."
She smiled then; a wide beautiful smile and he wished more than anything he were telling the truth. He swore to himself that she would never find out what he had done. Not if he could help it. He wanted to bask in the warmth of that smile for the rest of his life.
"So where did you stay last night?" she asked pressing the advantage the Sheriff's visit had given her.
"At the ball field - in the visitor's dugout."
"Cozy. Look, I can probably get you a sleeping bag and some other stuff...unless? Are you going home tonight?" Olivia looked at him hopefully but she was pretty sure what he was going to say.
"I don't think so."
She nodded, "Then I'll get you my sleeping bag, a pillow, and a flashlight. What else?"
"Your Gameboy?"
She laughed at his audaciousness, "You ever heard the phrase 'beggars can't be choosers'?"
"You ever heard the phrase 'give 'til it hurts'?" he shot back cheerfully. The bell for next period rang and the two friends bickered and laughed as they headed back to class.
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Doug stood in front of the mirror and fussed with his hair. He couldn't believe how nervous he was; the anxiety made him feel like the world's oldest sixteen year old. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know why he was doing something that made him feel so sick to his stomach. He didn't know what to expect. He didn't know what he wanted to happen or not happen. He didn't know who he was supposed to be.
He was so used to being Sheriff Witter that he sometimes forgot what it meant to be Doug. To feel like Doug. Which was one of the many things that attracted him to Jack - Jack let him be himself. No more than that, Jack made Doug be himself. Made Doug want to be himself. Jack saw through Sheriff Witter and saw the man inside. It was a revelation to a man who had hidden for so long. It made him feel very vulnerable which in turn, made him feel both astonishingly alive and increasingly uneasy.
He told himself that the nervousness was natural; especially when you considered that his last date had been four years ago. And had been with a woman. And had gone rather badly. But this was different. Very different. Which was good. And bad. But mostly good.
Shaking off the doubts that threatened to overwhelm him, Doug put on his coat and headed out the door to meet Jack.
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When Jack got to the theatre he wasn't surprised to see Doug waiting for him out front. Damn he's so prompt! Jack looked at his watch, he didn't think he was late but the truth was, he wasn't exactly on time.
"Been waiting long?" he asked with a sheepish smile.
"Not really. But the movie starts soon."
Jack couldn't help but notice that Doug looked rather stressed out and there was a weird tension in the air. But Doug seemed determined to put on a happy face. Maybe he just had a tough day at work, thought Jack. "Well, let's get in there then."
Doug nodded, "I hate to miss the previews."
"So you and Pacey do have a few things in common," cracked Jack.
"Very few," answered Doug stonily but he smiled. He met Jack's warm gaze and that's all it took. He felt himself start to relax a tiny bit. He wanted to be here after all, even if he was scared. It wasn't like spending time with Jack was hard. But it had never been labeled a date before and that fact alone was what made Doug so jumpy. Which is silly, he told himself.
There was an awkward moment when they got to the ticket window, but Jack handled it saying, "I'll get this one and you can owe me." Doug nodded and tried not to notice the suspicious look the cashier cast their way.
Doug heard himself say, "Thanks buddy!" And then he vigorously slapped Jack on the back in that hearty jock-guy way usually reserved for distant-but-proud fathers and emotionally stunted frat brothers. "You the man!" Jack shot him a look that very clearly said 'What-the-hell?!' but he didn't actually comment on it. Doug tightened his jaw and told himself to get a grip. They walked into the lobby.
"How 'bout I get the popcorn and you go find some seats?" suggested Jack. He had a feeling Doug needed a minute to collect himself.
Doug looked around the nearly empty lobby, "I don't think finding seats will be a problem..."
"Thought you didn't want to miss the previews? I bet they'll be starting any second now," said Jack quickly glancing at his watch.
"Good point. Ok, I'll go get seats. You sure you don't mind?"
Jack shook his head, "Not at all."
Doug headed for the theatre and Jack walked over to the concession stand. He ordered a large popcorn, two drinks and some junior mints. The kid behind the counter was remarkably apathetic and slow. He had trouble locating the candy and had to change the CO2 tank on the soda machine. By the time he finally finished the transaction the movie had started. Jack hurried into the dark theatre.
He waited for a minute so his eyes could adjust and scanned the room for Doug.
"Psst, Jack," whispered Doug from the very back row, "Over here. Geez, I was starting to think you left..."
Jack walked over and sat down. He handed Doug one of the sodas and said softly, "Yeah, they've got a real genius manning the snack bar. So you couldn't find anything closer?" He gestured to the nearly empty theatre. There were maybe ten other people there.
Doug looked mildly offended, "I like the back. You can see what everybody is up to."
"You're supposed to be watching the movie not the audience," teased Jack quietly. He took off his coat and settled himself into his seat. He leaned slightly toward Doug and enjoyed the feel of Doug's strong arm against his.
"You're supposed to be watching the move, not hassling me about seat choice," shot back Doug genially. He felt the warmth of Jack sitting next to him and he grinned into the dark. They turned their attention back to the movie.
After a minute Jack gave up. He learned closer to Doug and whispered into his ear, "Ok, I'm lost. What did I miss?"
The feel of Jack's breath in his ear sent shivers racing down Doug's spine. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, enjoying the sensation. Realizing he needed to answer Jack's question he turned and whispered back, "Bill Paxton's a scientist who created a time machine...that guy there stole it and sent the scientist and his team back into the timescape...which is sort of like a dangerous limbo I think. Now The Rock is trying to figure out a way to get them back..."
Jack could have listened to Doug whisper in his ear forever. The soft husky voice felt like a caress. He had to force himself to pay attention to what was being said. "Why?"
"Oh, he's Bill Paxton's brother..."
"Really believable casting huh?"
"You were the one who wanted to see this movie..."
Jack turned and looked at Doug. Their eyes met and for a moment time stopped. They were so close and Jack had to fight the urge to close the small distance between them. He wanted to kiss Doug so much that he felt like his heart was going to explode. He also knew that it had to be up to Doug to make that first move.
Suddenly Doug made a grab for the popcorn. The unexpected movement startled Jack and caused him to spill the bucket first on himself and then on Doug. He made a desperate grab to snag the bucket before it hit the floor and just managed to catch it. There was maybe a quarter of the bucket left. Jack looked down at his popcorn filled lap and then over at Doug who was equally festooned and completely taken aback. "Sorry! Sorry! Damn!" gasped Jack utterly mortified.
Doug chuckled softly, "Good thing you didn't get extra butter!" He began brushing the kernels off his lap and onto the floor. Jack followed suit and tried to swallow his embarrassment. Once they were both popcorn free, they tried to pay attention to the movie.
Jack couldn't concentrate. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to ignore all the crunching under his feet.
Doug wanted to reassure Jack that what happened was no big deal but he didn't really know what to say. Before he could talk himself out of it, he reached over and took Jack's hand in his. Jack looked surprised but pleased as their fingers slowly entwined. Doug was shocked by how wonderful the simple gesture felt. The warmth and strength of their hands seemed perfectly matched. He felt Jack's thumb rub gently against his. The small movement sent tingles running through him. The connection was more real and tender than anything Doug had ever felt before. He felt something inside him wake up, some frozen piece of his heart began to thaw; he never wanted it to end.
He smiled at Jack and whispered, "I like this movie."
Jack gave his hand a small squeeze and grinned back at him, "Me too."
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But I know that I believe that I've found what's true,
That I've found what's you.
Truthfully I
I'm finding finally.
Truthfully you
You helped me find at last.
Truthfully we
Are finding out what's true.
And Truthfully I am finding out what's you.
Surprise, cause I was flying the plane.
Surprise, cause now I'm smiling again.
Surprise, cause you showed up with your parachute.
Surprise, I'm kind of happy you showed up.
Truthfully I
I'm finding finally.
Truthfully you
You helped me find at last.
Truthfully we
Are finding out what's true.
And Truthfully I am finding out what's you.
Truthfully, I really can't explain, I'm floating, I'm smiling again.
Truthfully, I can't ignore you, cause I've been waiting for you.
Truthfully, I'm not desperate, I haven't changed my mind since we first met,
But the last thing that I want to do is to tell you that I'm right for you.
Truthfully I
I'm finding finally.
Truthfully you
You helped me find at last.
Truthfully we
Are finding out what's true.
And Truthfully I am finding out what's you.
I'm finding finally.
Truthfully, I'm finding out what's you.
I'm smiling again.
Truthfully
-- Truthfully
by Lisa Loeb
Author's note: I apologize for any misspellings or weird turns of phrase or typos but I really want to get this chapter up today. I should wait and do another edit but I'm anxious to see what you all think.