Seek and Go Hide
part twenty-one
Doug arrived at the hospital at promptly 11:00. When he got to Jen's room, Jack and Grams were already there. Or rather, Grams was already there and Jack was still there. Jack hadn't gone more then twenty feet from Jen's side since he got to the hospital last night and honestly, it showed.
Doug couldn't help but grin at Jack's bedraggled appearance. He cleared his throat and said, "Morning. You guys ready for visitors?"
"Doug! Come on in!" answered Jen cheerfully. "Come meet Miss Amy Evelyn Lindley. Although she's terrible at remembering names. I hope you won't it personally."
"I'll try not to," chuckled Doug. He walked over to the bed and stared down at the sleeping baby in Jen's arms. Gently, he shook her tiny hand and said, "Nice to meet you Amy." At the sound of his deep, quiet voice Amy opened her eyes, blinked a few times and then went back to sleep. "Oh Jen, she's just beautiful," said Doug, his voice full of amazement.
He looked at Jen, who smiled again and said, "I know. Thanks. And thanks for getting Jack to the hospital last night. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't.... I owe you for that. I owe you a lot."
"Just doing my civic duty," replied Doug too casually. He glanced quickly at Jack who didn't seem to be paying attention to them.
"Civic duty?" Jen raised an eyebrow and looked at him quizzically, "Is that all it was?"
Doug blushed a little and muttered, "Something like that." Doug cleared his throat again and said, "Speaking of public services, Jack I brought you this." Jack looked up from the magazine he had been cavalierly flipping though and saw that Doug held out his black duffle bag. "I figured you could use it." Doug tossed the bag to Jack, who caught it easily.
"Thanks. What is it?" Jack didn't wait for an answer; he unzipped the bag and was delighted to find a change of clothes, some basic toiletries and best of all, a baseball hat to cover the disaster that was his hair. "Oh dude, thanks! You have no idea how much I need this."
"Actually Jack, we do. You're pretty funky," laughed Jen. She gestured to the bathroom and said, "What are you waiting for? Get in there!"
Jack looked a little hurt. "I'm not that bad!" He turned to Grams for some reassurance but instead she gave a small smile and nodded her head just the tiniest bit as if to say he was indeed quite disgusting. "Fine! I'm gross. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go delouse myself!" Jack huffed away good- naturedly into the bathroom.
"I hope there was deodorant in that bag," exclaimed Jen loud enough for Jack to hear.
"And a toothbrush!" chimed in Grams with a smile.
"I'm not listening to you!" called Jack from the bathroom. Just then Amy woke up and started to cry and everyone's attention went back to the newest member of the family.
Later, after Jack had gotten cleaned up and Jen's mother arrived, Doug made his move to leave. He insisted that since he was in the city anyway he really should see some friends and run some errands. Jack figured that Doug just wanted to get away from him, but he didn't know what to say to change his mind. Or if he should even try to change his mind. Nevertheless, Jack walked out with Doug, "So are you planning on staying at Jen's tonight or do you need to get back to Capeside or...?" Jack hoped his question sounded like polite curiosity and not like needy clinginess. Even though things were rather weird and strained between them, Jack was surprised to realize that he didn't want Doug to leave just yet.
"No, I've got everything covered in Capeside for the next couple of days. Unless...do you want me to go?" Doug's insecurity got the best of him and he felt his stomach tighten and his heart sink.
"No, no, I just didn't know... if you had to go..." Jack answered quickly.
"I don't." Doug stared uncertainly at Jack and tried to figure out what exactly was going on between them. The push and pull of the last few days was both frustrating and stimulating.
Jack met Doug's direct gaze but just nodded and said, "Good. So I'll see you later then?"
"Sure," answered Doug. They continued their conversation, neither really saying what they were thinking.
"Where are you going again?"
"I told you, to see some friends."
"I didn't know you had friends in New York City."
"You don't know everything about me Jack." It came out sharper than Doug intended and both men flinched inside.
"I guess not. Well, have fun."
"I will," assured Doug with a grin. "Oh, Jack, will you call me as soon as they know for sure when Jen's going to go home? I want to make sure I clean up my mess before she gets back."
"Sure thing," replied Jack even though he suspected that Doug was physically incapable of leaving a mess anywhere.
"Thanks."
"No, thank you Doug. Really, thanks a lot." Quickly, before he had a chance to talk himself out of it, Jack reached over and hugged Doug. For a moment the older man resisted the embrace but the joy and comfort in the contact was impossible to deny. He relaxed into Jack's arms and gave an involuntary, heartfelt sigh of contentment. As for Jack, being able to cling however briefly to the warm solidity of Doug felt like coming home. He curled his fingers around the base of Doug's neck and inhaled the clean, spicy scent that was so uniquely Doug.
When they parted, the two men looked wistfully at each other, each wanting to say something else but neither daring to for fear of shattering the moment.
"Ok then, I'll talk to you later tonight," said Doug taking another step back from Jack.
"Right. See ya."
"Bye." Doug's feet were reluctant to move, but he forced himself to go. When he looked back, Jack still stood there watching him walk away.
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After Doug left the hospital, he did not, in fact, go see any friends. "Visiting friends" had only been an excuse to get him out of the hospital so he could get busy on his project. The first thing he had to do was run some errands.
Said errands ended up taking him longer than he had expected. By the time he got back to Jen's place, it was almost 3:00. There was a message from Jack letting him know that Jen and the baby were going to be able to come home tomorrow around noon. Doug smiled, that was actually pretty good timing although it meant he needed to hustle now. He quickly got to work sorting out the disaster in the living room and soon made short order of the mess in the kitchen. By 4:30, he was childproofing the outlets and cupboards. He glanced up at the clock and frowned; he couldn't help but wonder where Pacey was. If he didn't get here soon, it would throw Doug's whole plan off track! Doug located his cell phone and dialed his brother's number. After three rings Pacey picked up.
"Yeah Dougie, what's up?" Pacey sounded a bit winded and distracted but Doug didn't seem to notice.
"Pacey, where are you? You were supposed to be here by now."
"I'll be there soon Doug..."
"Soon? How soon? There's stuff I can't do until you get here..."
"Soon."
"That's not an especially helpful answer Pacey. I'm looking for a timeframe here."
"Ok Doug how's this? How soon is now?"
"What? Is that a riddle? There's no time for jokes Pacey – there's too much to do!"
"No, listen to me. How soon is now?"
As soon as the word "now" left Pacey's mouth, the doorbell rang. Doug opened it to find his smart-alecky brother standing there overloaded with bags of groceries, supplies, two cans of paint, and a purple stuffed bunny; his cell phone was wedged between his ear and shoulder. Doug smiled and said, "Great! Did you get everything?" He took the paint cans from Pacey and gestured for him to come in.
"Yes, I got everything from your very specific and lengthy list oh anal- retentive one. And then some." Pacey dropped everything in the middle of the living room and rubbed his sore shoulder. "The rest of it's still in the car and I'm not exactly what you'd call legally parked."
The two brothers dashed downstairs to Pacey's double-parked car, which was very effectively blocking the alley. They unloaded the rest of the stuff and then Pacey went to find parking. Doug tried to sort everything into project appropriate piles so that when Pacey got back they could get right to work.
Twenty minutes later, he was giving Pacey the rundown. The small room that was to be Amy's nursery was empty except for a pile of crib parts, a few boxes and a dresser. It had grubby white walls and a wood floor.
"Only in New York City would this be considered a bedroom," said Pacey as he looked around. "There's not even a window for crying out loud. What is it? Ten by eight?"
"Try ten by six and three quarters. But it has a closet so I guess that's what makes it officially a bedroom and not just a nook or whatever."
"What do you want me to do first?" Pacey rubbed his hands together, ready to get to work.
"Well, I thought I'd tape everything out and you can assemble the crib. If you think you can handle that..." Doug teased. "Then we can both paint."
"I think if I can build a boat I should be able to put together a simple crib," Pacey shot back good-naturedly.
"And remind me again -- when was the last time you built a boat?" asked Doug with a laugh.
There was much laughter and spirited bickering between the two brothers as they got down to work. While they did so, they also planned the next day's celebratory brunch menu; Doug insisted Pacey make lasagna while Pacey was adamant that creamed onions must also be served.
"Gah. Why creamed onions?" asked Doug with a shudder.
"Gotta trust me on this one Doug," smiled Pacey thinking back to that long ago Thanksgiving and several since then.
"No one will eat them," persisted Doug.
"Oh, you'd be surprised," said Pacey. "Besides, they'll go great with eggs and hash browns."
"Ok, ok – you're the chef. You do what you want."
"Don't I always?" cracked Pacey with a grin." Who's going to be at this brunch anyway?"
"Uhmm, you, me, Jen, Jack, Mrs. Ryan, Jen's mom, and maybe a couple of Jen's friends from work. I need to check with Mrs. Ryan on that. I wonder if I should call her?"
"What about Joey?" asked Pacey feeling his heart skip a beat. "Has anybody called her?"
"Oh, that's right she's in the city too now isn't she? I forgot. I don't think anyone has called her. Jack didn't mention her. Why don't you take care of that little brother?" Doug waggled his eyebrows comically at Pacey.
"Uh, sure. I'll call her. I'll call her later." Pacey tried to play it cool but he felt his face redden slightly. He didn't really need Doug getting up in his grill about Joey. He preferred it when everyone just pretended Pacey wasn't still head over-heels for his high school sweetheart. And that included Pacey, so he hurriedly changed the subject. He looked at the partially assembled crib in front of him and said, "I don't know, this crib might be getting the best of me. Or possibly it's not a crib at all. You want to give it a shot?"
Doug looked down at the tangle of parts and tools and shook his head, "Not really. I'm done taping, why don't we paint now and then while it dries we can take another crack at that."
"Sounds good to me," agreed Pacey happy to be relieved of crib duty if only temporarily.
It didn't take long to paint the tiny room. Soon enough they were setting up fans to speed the drying process and, once again, tackling the crib. Between the two of them they made what looked like progress, but as soon as they sat the thing up on all four legs it collapsed in a noisy heap.
"That can't be good" deadpanned Pacey.
"Dammit," swore Doug. "What's wrong with us? It can't really be this hard!"
There was a knock at the door and Pacey got up to answer it saying, "A welcome reprieve is at hand!" He opened the door to find a tiny but fierce looking woman standing there. She had to be at least forty and wore a faded Led Zeppelin t-shirt underneath a pair of red overalls, no shoes, and old- fashioned cat-eye glasses; she looked annoyed and surprised and walked right past Pacey and into the apartment.
"What's all the frickin' noise in here? And where's Jen? And who are you? And what are you doing here? Does Jen know you're here? Are you mute?" She stuck her head in the nursery, "That's a nice color combo."
Finally she took a breath and Doug said, "Sorry about the noise. I'm Doug, this is my brother Pacey. We're friends of Jen's. She had the baby last night and is coming home tomorrow. We're just trying to get some stuff ready as a surprise. You think she'll like the color?"
The woman hadn't stopped nosing around the apartment since she had entered but she nodded at Doug's final question. "Yeah, I think so. She's been dithering about it for so long it's probably better someone else made the decision for her. But it's nice. Yeah." She pulled some striped fabric out of one of the many bags and said, "What's this for?"
Pacey answered this time, "That's for the curtains I think." Pacey looked at Doug who nodded. "What's your name neighbor lady? Or should I just keep calling you neighbor lady?"
"Call me whatever you want kiddo. But my name's Sophia Davenport and yeah, I live next door. The little pom-poms are cute but there's no window in there. You know that right?" She dropped the curtains back in the bag. "You having trouble with the crib? Want me to do it? I'm pretty handy if I do say so. Which I do."
"Go for it," answered Pacey. "You want something to drink while you're at it?"
"Beer'd be good if you got one. Pacey was it? What kinda name is that exactly?" said Sophia as she sat down on the floor and got to work. "Yeah, this is a tricky one, probably made in Turkey or Myanmar or some such."
Doug smiled as Sophia quickly sorted the pieces into different piles. She seemed to know what she was doing and he was happy for the break. She took the beer Pacey handed her and kept talking a mile a minute; she never waited for anyone to respond. "So how do you know Jen? She's a good egg that one. I like her a lot and I haven't got much use for most people. Most people, they're just ridiculous or mean. But Jen, yeah she's a good one. Now see, that's just plain evil, this part here? It's gotta go in like this. So it seems backwards. Totally counterintuitive. No wonder you guys couldn't figure it out. Assbackwards is what. So she had the baby? Early huh? But no problems if she's coming home tomorrow so that's good. Hope that baby isn't a crier."
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At the hospital, Jen and Grams listened silently while her doctor explained about the realities of left ventricular hypertrophy, the risk of decreased ventricular systolic function and pulmonary congestion. She also explained the steps Jen would have to take to treat and avoid aggravating her condition. Overall the doctor seemed optimistic.
"We've been monitoring this closely as you know and the test results look pretty good all things considered. Your labor didn't exacerbate the condition the way it could have. You'll have to take medication of course..."
"For how long?" interrupted Jen.
"Indefinitely. Probably for the rest of your life. If things get worse, we'll have to think about surgery but I honestly don't think it'll come to that. You're young and otherwise healthy. The best thing for you to do is think positive..."
"The power of positive thinking huh? I'm in big trouble." Jen tried to laugh but there was sadness in her voice that was impossible to ignore.
"Jennifer," scolded Grams gently.
"But Amy? She's ok?" asked Jen very seriously.
"She's perfectly fine. As I explained, this isn't a genetic condition and you didn't do anything to cause it. It's just one of those unfortunate things that sometimes happen. Frankly I'm surprised it wasn't discovered before your pregnancy but if you never had symptoms no one would think to look for it. But your daughter's heart is perfectly healthy – no need to worry about that. If you have any other questions, just let me know. We're going to keep you in good working order Jen, I promise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got rounds to finish. Have a good night. I'll see you and Amy in a week." Dr. Brustman smiled her remarkably reassuring smile and both Jen and Gram's felt better. For a minute or two.
After the doctor left, Jen tried to lighten the mood and said, "One of those unfortunate things. Seems fitting enough for a tombstone. Not too florid or extravagant..."
"Jennifer Lindley! I will not tolerate this kind of cynical talk. That doctor just told you that everything will be fine as long as we are smart and careful! You need to change your attitude and change it right now! Amy is counting on you. I'm counting on you!" Grams looked angry as she hastily brushed a tear from her eye but she didn't back down.
"Geez, give a girl ten seconds to mourn the cruelties of fate would you Grams? And for the record, I'm not planning on going anywhere ok? As of right now, I'm going to become the world champion of positive thinking. Look out Deepak Chopra."
"Well, you better," smiled Grams. "Now, have you changed your mind about telling anyone? Jack? Your mother?"
"No. I don't want anyone to know. It'll be easier for me, if only you and I know. I know that's unfair to you, but no one else can do anything except worry and I just don't need that right now. What I need is for everyone to be happy and one hundred percent worry-free. Good vibes only."
"Alright dear. It's your decision." Grams looked resigned to the situation, even if she disagreed with Jen's choice. She glanced at her watch, "When do we expect Jack back?"
"Pretty soon, he said he was going to go get us some smoothies and the new issue of Entertainment Weekly. I hear Jude Law's on the cover! You don't need to wait for him to get back though, go ahead and go. I know you must be tired."
"Yes, well perhaps I will go. But I'll see you bright an early tomorrow dear."
"Don't worry, I'll be here."
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Sophia got the crib put together but even she was a little surprised by what a pain it was, "Don't feel bad you couldn't hack it boys. This here's a real bitch of a crib. But it's sturdy and cute enough I guess. Still, I don't know why so many industrial designers work so hard to make shit near impossible. So, thanks for the beer, I gotta get back to my place. You need anything, let me know, I'm up most all night. Tell Jen hello for me and that I'm ready to go out dancing as soon as she is."
Sophia was almost out the door when she finally took a breath. Doug jumped at the chance to get a word in edgewise, "We're having some folks over for a welcome home/birthday brunch tomorrow at 11:30. I'd love it if you could come."
"Sounds swell. Yeah, I'll be here. You need me to bring anything? Warning though – I can't cook a lick. Everything I touch burns right up. I'm like the queen of the charcoal briquette. Flame on!"
"We got it covered," answered Pacey with a laugh. "Just bring your sassy self and maybe a chair or two," he said looking around the apartment and mentally calculating the number of guests versus the number of chairs.
"Can do kiddo. Can do! See you in the a.m." And with that she was gone.
For a moment it was strangely still and quiet in the apartment. Then Doug chuckled and said, "Wow, she can really yammer. I'm exhausted from just listening to her!"
"Seriously. She makes Audrey seem quiet and uncommunicative and I didn't think anyone could do that! Let's move that furniture and then I'll start some coffee. It's gonna be a longish night if I'm not mistaken."
"Sounds like a plan," agreed Doug.
They got the crib and the rest of the furniture in the room just as there was another knock at the front door.
"Who could that be?" wondered Doug as he straightened the new rug.
"One way to find out," answered Pacey. He walked to the front door, opened it and found Grams standing there. He immediately swept her up in a hug, "It's Grams! Or should I say Great Grams! How are you?"
"Pacey Witter, what in the world are you doing here?" laughed Grams happily.
"Just a little surprise Doug and I have been cooking up for Jen and Amy. Come look!" He took her hand and led her into the nursery. "We're not done yet of course..."
"Oh my! Hello Douglas. Look at this! You dear boys. It's lovely. But how did you..?"
"Captain Type-A there planned it all out. I'm merely the fetch and carry boy."
Doug looked embarrassed, "Jack happened to mention some things he and Jen hadn't gotten around to doing so I just figured..." Doug shrugged and smiled.
"Well, that's so very kind of you dear. I see someone's been doing some cleaning up as well. This place was rather a jumble the last time I was here. That's why I stopped by. I wanted to set it to rights as best as I could before they came home."
"Oh, it didn't take long to straighten up, but I haven't done anything in Jen's bedroom. I didn't know if that was crossing a line or not."
"Well you children leave that to me. Honestly I'm just delighted to get out of cleaning the kitchen! Speaking of which, what's going on in there? Something smells good..."
"That's my big part of the operation," answered Pacey proudly, "Also known as brunch!"
"We're having a birthday brunch tomorrow when Jen gets home. It'll be you and Jen and Jack, Jen's mom, Pacey and me, the next door neighbor..."
"Met Sophia did you?" interjected Grams with a smile.
"Is there anyone else we should invite?"
"Oh, well there's Walter and Darlene from the gallery...they would love to come I'm sure. I'll call them right now. Goodness, it's going to be quite a party!"
The three of them worked hard for the next couple of hours. Grams straightened up the bedroom and did some laundry. Doug hung some artwork in Amy's room and loaded the dresser and closet with all the toys, clothes and various other baby supplies Jen had accumulated over the last several months. He even added a few special touches of his own. When he was finally done the tiny room looked homey, sweet and more than ready for the new arrival. Pacey was busy in the kitchen chopping and cooking and cooking and chopping.
Grams left around 10:30 after promising not to tell Jen or Jack about the surprise. Once she was gone, Doug turned his attention to Pacey and the kitchen. He was stunned by what he saw. There were three pies and a couple dozen muffins cooling on the table. Pacey was putting a ready-to-go lasagna into the refrigerator and the counter was covered with Tupperware containers full of prepped food.
"Three pies?" asked a baffled Doug. "Why three pies?"
"Multiples pies are good luck. I'm sure I read that somewhere. It's all about birth and bounty and bliss. I still have two more to make. You want to cut up these peaches for me while I roll out the dough?"
"Five kinds of pie? Is that a bit much?"
"Who doesn't like pie? I've got coconut cream, key lime, and cherry. Soon there will also be peach and apple."
"That's a lot of pie Pacey! What else are you cooking? Or are we just having pie?"
"Well, the blueberry muffins are made. The lasagna just needs to be baked. Ditto for the creamed onions. Tomorrow I'll whip up some banana nut pancakes, some scrambled eggs, hash browns, sausage and bacon. We've got bagels, cream cheese and lox. There's yogurt, fruit, granola. Orange juice, cranberry juice, champagne, ginger ale, coffee...I was gonna make a frittata but I'm kinda running out of steam here."
"I think we'll manage without the frittata. Did you leave any food at the Ice House?"
"They'll manage. What are you doing to that peach? You need to slice it like this." Pacey snatched the knife away from Doug and demonstrated the proper technique.
"Ok, Emeril, I got it, I got it!" said Doug with faux exasperation as he took the knife back.
Pacey elbowed Doug in the ribs, "Emeril? That's the best you can do? Pretty lame Dougie."
"What can I say? It's late, I'm tired, and you're a moron."
"That's more like it!"
The two brothers laughed and kept working side by side as the hours ticked by.
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At the hospital, everything was quiet and still. Jack dozed in a chair, the Entertainment Weekly on the floor beside him. Jen sat in bed breastfeeding Amy. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at her beautiful daughter; it splashed gently on Amy's little hand and was gone. Jen took a deep breath and whispered, "That's the last tear sweetie. I promise nothing but happy times from now on." Amy gave a small, satisfied sigh and fell asleep.
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I've been lately thinking
About my life's time
All the things I've done
And want to do
And I can't help believing
In my own mind
I know I'm gonna hate to see the end...
I've seen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
I spent a million nights all on my own
I've known my own displeasures
Had myself some friends
I spent a million days inside my room...
I have to say it now
Its been a good life all in all
It's really fine
To have a chance to hang around
Lie there watching fire
Watch it burn the evening entire
With my best friend, two silly twins
And the maiden clowns...
Talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that I want to believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long its been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share...
-- Poems, Prayers and Promises
Cover by Rachel Haden
Download this song for free (legally!) at:
www . badmanrecordingco . com / downloads / default.aspx
( Remove extra spaces to make url work. Scroll to the bottom of the page)
Author's note: Well, I'm a little late - hope you aren't mad. :) Thanks to everyone for all your kind words and encouragement! You really do keep me motivated! Up next -- brunch! And don't worry, Pacey won't forget to call Joey!