This one is for Sethoz — she doesn't get appreciated enough! Cheers, m'dear!
Raven: -giggles madly, due to excess alcohol in her system- Did you know, that Sethoz once was crazy over the Scarlet Pimpernel?
Dorian: -whispers something about Sethoz to Jekyll-
Jekyll: -shakes head- Surely not!
Sethoz: -exasperated- Rave, what are you saying about me now?
Lud love me, such conjecturing
Could drive a man insane!
And I'm the one to set
This gossip quite to rest
The Pimpernel is me!
Dorian: -scoffs-
Indeed, and I'm the King of Spain!
Raven: -shocked- What?
Dorian: -continues-
The Pimpernel is nothing
But a nosy pest!
Clez: -whacks him-
Jekyll:
No, the vicar says the Pimpernel's
A bishop in disguise
Who gives absolution
Night and day!
Nemo:
Stuff and nonsense! Don't you know?
She's a maharajah from Bombay!
Mina and Skinner:
They say she has enormous feet!
And that she tends to overeat!
I've heard she's fussy with her food!
And eats her breakfast in the nude!
Sethoz: -chokes on her drink-
Ash and Clez:Is she robust?
Or very pale?
At least we know she's female!
Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel?
Tom:
Me auntie says her breath
Is sweeter than an Irish rose!
I'm sure I'd fall in love
If she would cross my path!
Clez: -glares at him-
La, yes if you could overlook
The warts upon her nose!
Sethoz: The what on my nose?!
Raven:
And possibly persuade her
She should take a bath!
Sethoz: -jaw drops-
Jekyll:
Rumor has it she's Castilian!
And a reckless buccaneer!
And I hear she carries sev'ral whips!
Sethoz: Several w-whips?
Nemo:
She's a sultan from Kabul —
With men at her fingertips!
Mina:
They say she's nearly eight feet tall!
And yet quite graceful —
Raven:
Folderol!
I'm told she waddles when she walks
And often twitches when she talks!
Ash:
Is she a dolt?
She's very deep
All:
Oh, Hellven's losing sleep!
Who is this blasted Pimpernel?
Dorian:
The butcher in the village
Claims he saw the girl last week!
All others:
Where?
Dorian:
Galloping a camel cross the moor!
She's been seen —
Sethoz:
Wearing full Sethoz green!
I've told you all before!
The fella's me!
Ash:
It's Hermes the third!
Jekyll:
Perhaps a convict run amok?
Skinner: -throws up hands into the air-
This Pimpernel could be 'most any sod!
Sethoz: How dare you? –looks ready to slap him-
Raven: -growls at her-
Sethoz: -doesn't hit him-
Clez:
Bite your tongue
She is dashing and young!
Raven and Ash:
The Pimpernel's a Muse!
Tom, Skinner and Jekyll:
And she'll find me!
And she'll wake me
And she'll take me
Dorian: -smirks-
Down on a haystack
Jekyll:
She'll face me
Then at last you could tell
Skinner:
If she's a hero or a nun
Tom:
A fiddling Nero or a drunk
All:
Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel?
Dorian:
I'm sure she's flatulent and crass
Here, here! The girl's a horse's ass!
Raven and Clez:
No, no! She is neighbourly and kind
Ash:
But quite erotically inclined...
Sethoz: -blinks-
All:
Whatever guise she may employ
She's Hellven's pride and joy!
This plucky non-peril
Is lucky bloody swell!
Who is the Scarlet Pimpernel???
Sethoz: -sighs- Lud, am I the only one who's not drunk here?
Song: The Scarlet Pimpernel
Broadway: The Scarlet Pimpernel
Just so you know, the Scarlet Pimpernel is a wicked book. Go read it! I recommend it! Better yet, go watch the musical or download the songs...it rocks!