Rikku stared at the ceiling perfectly relaxed. She realized she had no idea how she'd gotten to her bed. She jumped up, put on her clothes ("...what!?" she thought to herself, but dismissed it for the more pressing matter) and ran to the bridge. On her way, she saw Auron talking to Tidus and Wakka.
"Hey! What the hell's going on?" she squealed.
"Rikku! You're awake." Tidus said with a smile.
The pain was instantaneous, but it took him a second to realize he'd been slapped. Hard.
"I want some freaking answers!" yelled Rikku.
Auron sighed and turned, his typical sign of sage-like wisdom. "Come with me, this may take a while." He walked toward the bridge. Rikku followed, staring down Tidus as she passed.
Wakka chuckled, "She got you scared now, ya?" As Tidus stared at him, Wakka's smile slowly faded. He stood there for another awkward moment, and then looked away and darted off.
"What the hell is everyone's problem?" Tidus mumbled to himself. A whisper in his ear surprised him.
"It's because you're oblivious to everything around you."
He kept looking at the ground. "Shut up you...you...you dirty freak-ass vampire!" he snapped.
"Well," Lulu said, feigning sadness, "if that's what you think of me, I'll just have to leave." She pouted sensuously.
"Oh! Lu! I'm sorry! You sounded like a..."
"Don't even finish the sentence, Tidus," she halted him. With a seductive smile she added, "You don't have a way with words, do you?"
"Um..." he hesitated nervously. "I guess not."
Lulu knew she had him. She stepped closer until she was almost right on him. She leaned in to whisper in his ear, pulling him closer. "Do you know what else you don't have a way with?" Her breath was hot on his neck, the tiny hairs standing on end.
"No," he said, thinking he understood, willing to play along. "What's that?" She pulled him closer still, inching her hand up his left leg.
"Mages," she whispered with a smirk. Tidus had just enough time to realize it was an ice spell before he passed out. Lulu strode back to the bridge in glee.
"Is he gonna be okay?" Rikku asked, worried.
"Well," Auron started, "When the three of them went off the cliff, he took a nasty fall and broke his neck. The doctor's taking a look, but obviously this time his patient is slightly different."
"I suppose so..." Rikku said quietly. "How's Traum taking it?"
"He's been around a long time. He's used to stuff like this."
Rikku nodded. "Poor bird...so old, but so brave." She paused for a moment, then spoke again. "Auron, what happened when I put on the sunglasses?"
"You'd be amazed how many times this has happened with Traum, even just in the time I've known him." He smiled, shook his head and continued. "Well, the first thing you did was collapse and pass out. We got you back to the ship and waited for you to wake up. That, of course, just took a kiss from Prince Charming himself." Auron laughed. "But the best part of these things is what happens after you wake up the first time."
"What's that?" Rikku asked, puzzled.
"You take on some of Traum's personalities, things like that. So, after you woke up, you looked at Traum. Your first words were, 'Hey cutie, wanna take a ride on my magic carpet?"
Rikku stared in shock. "You mean I..."
"No, Traum knew what was going on, and he controlled himself. But then you looked at Tidus and said 'How about you?' After his obvious answer of 'Hell yes!' Yuna stormed off, Lulu French-roasted his nuts, and he crawled away. Lulu and Traum took you to your room, and you slept. This is the first anyone has seen you awake after that." He suddenly looked stern and saddened. "After the first two years we didn't know if you'd ever wake up."
"What...?" Rikku stared at him, jaw on the floor.
Auron burst out laughing. "No, you were out for about two hours. But, we were still worried."
She punched his shoulder. "Men! Forget them." She stormed off towards her room. Auron stood there, just waiting. He slowly counted to himself.
"Three...two...one..."
"Alright! I give in!" Rikku had stopped. "Where is he?" she sighed with anger.
"Oh, you know Traum," Auron smiled. "You can never really keep track of where he is." With that, he left.
Rikku stood there a minute longer, gathering herself. She tried to think things through, but she couldn't even think at all. She decided to go find Traum. She still needed answers.