Rikku had searched every private area on the ship. "What the hell...?" she muttered to herself in frustration. "Well," she sighed, "I might as well get some fresh air. Maybe he'll show up soon enough." As she climbed the stairs to the observation deck, she saw him. From behind, Traum looked like a tall mass of blackness. Rikku notice that he wasn't moving.
"Hello, Rikku," Traum said quietly without turning. "I was expecting you to come soon." With the slightest movement, Traum motioned for Rikku to stand next to him. He was still facing the outside. She obliged him and slowly made her way toward him.
"Traum, what's going on?" Rikku suddenly started, impatient. She thought she heard him mumble, "It's almost over." She was now even more confused. "What's almost over? What's happening?"
"Come, let's go outside. That is were you were headed, yes?" Traum replied, seeming to change the subject.
"Fine," Rikku agreed.
They took the escalvator to the ship's roof. Traum simply continued looking forward. Rikku wondered to herself what he thought about. He'd been around for Yevon-knows how long. He must have so many memories, so much learned, so much lost. Rikku suddenly realized just how lonely his life had to be.
"Usually," Traum broke the silence, "I don't let it bother me." Rikku wasn't all that shocked. She didn't know if he could read her mind, but at this point she figured it didn't matter.
"But sometimes," he continued, "...sometimes..." He stopped, looking at the ground. "The more you love, the less important it seems. After a couple hundred girlfriends and wives, you ask yourself if it's even love anymore. It doesn't feel like it. It was far too long ago, that first time I fell in love. I don't even remember how it felt. But I know the feeling has never been that strong. Each time, it diminishes a little more."
He paused again, choosing his words, reminiscing. "But some things only get stronger with time. Hatred, sadness, loss. They build inside you, taking over your soul. There's so much controlling you that you can't even breathe. So, you learn not to."
He stopped once more, redirecting his point. "When you lose the ability to love, you're no longer human. But...it's in my blood I suppose." He smiled lightly and looked up again.
"What does that mean?" Rikku asked, puzzled.
They reached the top. Traum took the first steps outside. Rikku hurried to catch up, then walked slowly behind him, following anxiously. "What do you mean it's in your blood?" she asked again. Traum kept walking, gliding on the airship's roof.
"I thought it best to show you," he finally responded.
Rikku didn't know what to expect, or what he was talking about for that matter. "What?" she said, edging closer.
Traum turned around. Rikku was almost on top of him.
"Sorry," she said, smiling and starting to back away. But Traum grabbed her with an arm around her waist. He pulled her close to him, looking at her intensely. "Oh," Rikku smiled again and pulled herself up for a kiss.
"Not now, Rikku." Traum said calmly. He could see the look of disappointment, slight embarrassment, and mostly confusion on her face. "I want to show you what I'm talking about."
Rikku still didn't get it, but she waited patiently now. She was surprised when Traum removed his sunglasses. His eyes were still closed. With a big grin, he opened them and said, "Look into my eyes."
She would have laughed, but for that brief moment Rikku was lost. Suddenly, she blinked and tried to speak, but nothing came out. When she stopped to think, she realized what she'd seen: A hundred lifetimes in the blink of an eye. Her mind raced to put the images in order, but all she saw was blackness as she slipped into a dream so real she could feel the breath of the beautiful girl in front of her.