Chivalry

By Delirious

[The Lady]

It's embarrassing. Miroku is not what I want. Before, I could not understand or explain what was happening to us, but now that I am alone, I seem to think with a clearer mind. Funny how being off to yourself brings things into perspective.

There is a force between us that is pulling us together. This is strange to say and strange to hear. The words just don't seem to make sense together, but it is still very much true. The force is strong and demanding, especially on me.

I felt as if I were watching my home roasting in a summer fire, when Miroku first left me in Kaede's hut. As if I were losing my very soul, as if I would never be content or happy again. When one is faced with losing their very being or enjoyment of life, they tend to go a bit insane. But, after Miroku had been gone from the hut for a few minutes I was perfectly fine, and felt like myself.

What is happening to us?

What is happening to me?

Kaede believes she may know someone who can help us, an old friend of hers who lives two towns over. I asked Kaede if she had an idea what was wrong with us, because it seems to me that that old woman knows everything there is to know. Kaede looked at me with dancing eyes, and answered, "That's why I'm sending ye to my friend."

I wonder what she knows that apparently Miroku and I do not? It is times such as these when I am truly convinced that everyone is in on some elaborate joke, and I'm the only who doesn't get it. At least I'm not alone this time; I do have Miroku.

Wow...that sounded odd.

[The Gentleman]

It is times like these when I am positive that Kaede-sama definitely knows something that I do not. She is keeping something from Kagome and me, but I have a suspicion that we will learn of it on our journey.

"All will be revealed in due course," wise words said to me by an old priest. I always thought he was a graying windbag. I do not have much time; I must fix whatever has gone wrong with Kagome and myself, before Inuyasha returns. I have always thought of the boy as a highly stupid younger brother, a younger brother that has the potential to rearrange the position of my limbs if he so wished. So, surely my haste can be understood.

I don't want anyone to be given the impression that I am scared of Inuyasha or fighting him, because I am not. But, with my main fighting defense now gone, and barely any training with my spirit energy, I'm afraid the fight would be wholly unequal. Which is not at all to say that I would still not prevail if I used my dazzling wits to save my precious butt. So that is not at all the reason of my hesitation at fighting, but the fact is, I do not want to fight Inuyasha. I have gone all of these years not doing so, and I would like things to remain as they are. Sadly, I have a feeling that things will never be the same again.

Only time will tell if that is a bad thing or a not so bad thing.

Kagome and I will set out in the early morning, to Kaede's healer friend's hut. If we travel quickly, we can make it to our destination by tomorrow's sunset. Never in my life has two days appeared to be such a long time.

[The Lady]

Never in my life has two days seemed like such a very long time. Kaede informed me that Miroku wants us to set out for her friend's in the morning. She says that Miroku thinks that we can reach his house in about two days.

Wonderful.

"Kaede?" I ask after a few moments of tense silence.

"Yes Child?"

"Where is Miroku? I have not seen him since he separated us yesterday."

"Miroku thought it wise to keep his distance, seeing as you both seem to have trouble controlling yourselves when you are in each other's company."

I was flabbergasted. Shocked. Bamboozled (isn't that funniest word?) Astonished...and the list goes on and on. "That's awfully responsible of him," I bit my lip before adding, "In truth, I would not have expected it of him." I mean this was Miroku; we are speaking of, everyone's favorite lecher and resident pervert. Since when did he grow a conscience? And where in the heck was I, when he did?

"Yes, there is much about Miroku that would not be expected, if I may speak plainly?" I merely nodded my head at her request. "I believe that, although the Monk does have a wandering eye, he is an upright man. I don't doubt that you all acknowledge that, but at times I think you all may forget. The Monk is an upright man, and your honor, unless you wish otherwise, will be safe under his protection." I did have the decency to blush at my own treacherous thoughts.

[The Monk]

I have a rather large dilemma. How will I keep Kagome safe, and how will we travel together? I suppose my staff and her bow may work for the first, but they won't be extremely effective against a powerful demon. I wish I could tap into my spirit energy. Another opportunity lost.

But, what of my second dilemma? It will be damned close to hell traveling with that dangerous woman for two long days. All of my life, I have been dreaming of a woman who wanted my body and nothing more, and you can't imagine what it is like to have to give all of that up...From the way she was carrying on, I wouldn't have to do any work myself. A few minutes alone with her, and she will be the one tearing my shirt off...Buddha is so cruel.

I must find a way in the next few hours, to offset her attraction to me, while on our way to Kiba's (Kaede's friend) hut. Kagome's honor, as well as mine hangs in the balance. I am a man, and as a man, I have learned discipline and restraint, but as life has already proven to me, I only have so much of both.

It would seem that distance is the key to my success. The more distance between us, the less chance that any attraction will show up. But, I must stay close to Kagome, in case anything happens to either one of us...

Perhaps, I can use distance.

By that I mean, I can tie both of our wrists with a long piece of rope, and we can tug on the rope if something goes amiss on our end...Well the plan does seem rather flimsy, perhaps I should mentally visualize the scenario.

[The mental visualization of Miroku's flimsy Idea]

"Remember Kagome, tug on the rope if you need me."

"Sure Miroku!" The young miko says innocently. I nod at her, before making my way up the road. I'm in the process of putting enough space between us, when Kagome's yellow bag comes sailing over my head, landing on the ground just in front of me.

"Could you bring that back to me?" Without thinking, I grab the bag and back track to where the young miko stands smiling apologetically at me.

"I am sorry Miroku."

"Do not worry Lady Kagome," I reply, while handing her the bag, for a second our fingers touch, and I instantly know that this is the end. I look into her eyes and see that never familiar hunger, before scurrying away. I realize then that was all a ploy to get me near her...Treacherous woman!

I am still in the process of running, when my rope is pulled with an amazing strength, and I am propelled into Kagome's waiting arms. "Lady KAGOME! What are you doing?" I yell.

She smiles that innocent smile, before answering, "You said pull when I need you. I need you." With that she pulls me to the ground, where we commence to do very wicked things to each other.

[End of Miroku's VERY flimsy idea]

Damn it all to hell.

That was the best Kagome and I do wicked things to each other fantasy I have had in awhile. I won't even pretend that it was my first, because it obviously wasn't.

As nice and as mouth watering as that was, how would it help solve my problem? Kagome is entrusted in my care, and that sort of scenario cannot be allowed to happen, no matter how much I want it to.

Perhaps, I am looking at this entire situation from the wrong perspective. Instead of pushing Kagome away, perhaps the closer she is to me, the better off we will both be. It seems that we both seem to crave each other's touch, although Kagome does seem to crave it more, considering I always crave a woman's touch and that is certainly nothing new, just common lust… So, if Kagome could touch me, in a less compromising, though not any less intimate way, she might be okay.

Simply put, Kagome thinks that she must be in an intimate position with me at all times, so if we are in an intimate position together, then perhaps she will be able to control herself. And, what is more innocently intimate than handholding?

It's not the most rock solid idea, but under the circumstances, it is the best that I can I do. I shall test my theory tomorrow morning, and pray for the best. Tonight, I will do my best to sleep, under the stars.

OoOoOoOo

Buddha truly finds joy at my expense.

I will need all of the rest that I can possibly get, yet I find that sleep is a commodity that I do not possess. Because, I am still very much awake and my mind is moving at top speed. This will be a restless night.

I am wondering if all of this (The Kagome wanting my body situation) would have come about if Sango and I were still involved, which leads me to wonder if Sango and I would have been involved at all, if it were not for the loss of my wind tunnel, which leads me to wonder if I would have lost my wind tunnel, if Naraku had lived through "The Fall".

So many unanswered questions and so little darkness left to think them in. Morning will soon approach, but I am under the belief that sleep will not find me, if I do not at least attempt to answer these questions.

Since the root of all of these nagging questions seem to be the evil Naraku, let us start with him. Naraku is dead. I do not want to hear any protests on the subject, considering that I was the one who accidentally killed him. And, being that I am the hero of this particular story, I will not have anyone saying that Naraku is anything but dead. I killed the crazy bastard myself. End of story.

How did little old Miroku manage to do what no one else could, well let me explain. Kagome decided to bring some modern explosives with her to the past. She thought it would be great fun if we could all see the fireworks and gaze at all of the vivid colors that shoot up into the air. I thought the gesture was quite sweet, as did everyone else, although some of us did not want to admit it. Yeah, I don't believe it is a secret who some of us, actually is...

Kagome wanted to lighten our spirits, because we were all aware that the "Final" battle was almost upon us. Koga and his pack were with us, and even some small time demon friends of ours were vowing to help us. Naturally, Naraku was the one who instigated this battle, by sending one of his puppets to beat the life out of us while, delivering the message that he grew tired of his game, and wanted it to come to an end.

Yes, this entire journey of ours was Naraku's game. We were the pawns that stupidly traveled across his chest board (an interesting futuristic game that I simply find to be utterly fascinating). We fought at his will, and slept at his will, and we even loved at his will. He controlled our lives, and until that day, we had not even realized it.

So, all of us were down, and sweet Kagome did what she could, and decided to do it in a big way. She put us all in an open field, where water was near by, as she prepared to shot the fireworks off. But, before she could, Naraku sent out his warning that the war was about to begin. He knocked out one of his largest threats at the same time, me. Naraku sent his killer insects to swarm all about us. Jerk.

Since my kazanna was of little or no use, I picked up my staff, prepared to fight in anyway I could. For many long minutes, nothing happened, and it greatly confused and simultaneously built up our apprehension. And, at the moment we were convinced it was just another of his jokes, Naraku descended upon us.

I will give the demon one thing... he has damned good timing. And, he sure knows how to make an entrance.

To save time, and the meticulous retelling of a probably over told tale, I will get to the part makes me a hero while giving an insignificant stretch of land the infamous name of "The Fall". As in all of the "Final" battle stories and rumors, the Inuyasha-gumi was losing badly to Naraku and his horde of minions, and all hope seems to be lost...this is naturally the point when one of us miraculously finds a hidden power that they did not know existed, and boom the whole thing is over, with Naraku screaming in agony and defeat… Well, here is the complete truth, and I must admit that I feel as if I am breaking some unwritten law. No one has any sort of hidden power that they were oblivious to, until Naraku was about to start asking for our defeat.

That's right, no one unleashed some demonic power they did not know they had...I don't know what idiot thought that one up, but I'm damned tired of hearing it. I have a sneaking suspicion that Inuyasha himself started that one, to make himself seem less like a complete ass. He was after all the one destined to kill Naraku and obtain glory, and no one anticipated that the filthy hentai would actually do the deed.

I am so under appreciated.

Anyhow, back to how I became a hero. At this point, I knew that if there were anyway to turn this uphill battle around, it would not be by sheer force alone. Because, I am a thinking man, I knew that actual thought would be needed in this equation, if we had a snowball's chance of winning or at least ending it as a stalemate.

I was pretty banged up myself, and had long since been kicked out of the fighting arena. I was unable to use my main fighting skill, and my arm was broken, so I could not hit things with my staff. Kagome had dragged me to the safety, which happened to be right next to the forgotten fireworks. For a moment, I watched the gore of the battlefield with a sad heart, because I had a feeling that if something were not done at that very moment, I would be the only person to see tomorrow's light. That was when something clicked in that brain of mine...light...lots of it...light produces heat...fire...fire produces...total annihilation.

What was the one thing in my grasp that had an abundance of light and heat...why those fireworks of course! I remember Kagome saying over and over for none of us to offset the fireworks, because it would kill us all. If killing in mass numbers was my game, then fireworks was my pawn...but...I would not only be killing the enemy, but also my friends...

Hmm...decision time...what was more important?

I decided that I did not like my options, so I did what I always do, and I found a loophole. My loophole came in the form of a baby fox demon with too much energy.

Shippo came bouncing my way, not seconds after my mass destruction idea, and it was his presence that gave me my plan. I could get him to use his disguises to warn all of my allies of my plan to get them to safety, while not alerting the enemy.

But before anything could be done I would have to get the battle moved to a location near a lot of trees...

OoOoOoOo

It would bore you if I told you the entirely too long, word for word unfolding of how it all ended, oh Kami-sama...it bores me. Some things are better seen than told about, or at least that's the story I'm sticking to.

Needless to say, my plan worked, and Naraku and his crew went down in a forest of flames. To ensure that Naraku could not somehow escape the burning woods, Kagome enlisted all of our energy into her tiny body, and built a doom around the forest, so no one could get in and no one could get out.

What was left our numbers watched as the woods rapidly burned away, leaving nothing but charred earth in it's wake. By this time, Kagome had drained us all of our energy, and she was probably more drained than the rest of us, what with all of that energy coursing through her. So, when the flames seemed to be engulfing themselves, because there was nothing else to burn, Kagome and everyone else fainted, with myself as the only exception. Because the channeling of power to the doom had been cut off so rapidly and messily, the power that made up the doom collapsed in on itself, creating a large crater in the earth surrounding it. The waves of power and wind that came from the collapse pushed out with an extreme fervor for miles, so much so that I thought my devilishly handsome face might be pulled off.

It looked as if some giant had taken a misstep and had fallen into the earth, leaving a large hole in the ground where his knee hit the forest floor. That is how the area came to be called "The Fall".

And, that is how I became a hero...which most people do not even know. It was decided (by everyone but me) that Inuyasha and Kagome would be given most of the praise for the defeat of Naraku. A reason was given, but I don't remember what in the world it could have been. The whole idea seemed incredibly idiotic to me, but I may just be saying that because it was I who saved everyone's lives.

Fine. Don't give me any credit...It was only my idea.

Do I sound bitter or putout?

I simply must remedy that...

Because…

I am Miroku.

And, I'm supposed to be a pensive placid filthy monk.

And, I don't get angry...

I don't mind taking one step back so that everyone else can shine...

Nope....

Not at all.

I'm just the filthy idiot monk who solves everyone's problems...

It should not matter that no one cares about my problems...

It should not matter that no one pays me for my expert advice... (Kagome says that people in the future will rob you blind for that.)

I get no thanks...

Because...

I'm just that filthy hentai...

Filthy...

Not worthy to be touched...

Too dirty to touch the innocent queen...

Filthy and Dirty...

Perhaps that's why it didn't work out between Sango and I...

She did not see me...

She saw what she thought I was and she saw how she could change me...so I would be worthy to touch her...

Perhaps I'm being a bit one sided on the Sango issue...

And that's just not allowed...

Because...

I'm everyone's favorite monk.

And, I'm so above emotions, yet so below human decency.

And, to prove otherwise might just rock the boat too far...

And we may all just come tumbling out.

{End of chapter}

Excuse for lateness: If you knew the crap I had to go through to post this chapter…you'd be giving me excuses…Not counting the time was down. But we do what we must to keep a story running...Thanks for the reviews...I'm shocked and amazed. okay...........that's all the time...

Ideas from Trigun are not mine.

Your tired Captain

Delirious.