A/N- Sorry for the brief delay- I have been ill and the English weather is not helping. I just wanted to share with you guys- I was in New York a few weeks ago and as I was walking down the street I looked up and B.J was staring down at me from a billboard! I swear the New Yorkers thought I was crazy when I practically jumped out of my skin!!! I was like "B.J!!!" Ahem, I'll stop scaring you now.
Chapter 18- Cold War.
The kitchens were always quiet at night, a detail that Steve was extremely glad about. Unlike the others, who enjoyed going to bed late and staying in bed in the morning, Steve was one of those people who thrived as the morning's rays crept over the horizon and illuminated the landscape with its warmth.
He reveled in that time of day and embraced with pure joy the crisp air and smell of dew.
Skye called him an annoying, mud-loving nature-boy.
She wasn't a morning person.
But the night, for Steve at least, was when all genetically engineered soldiers should be in bed; there was a reason it was called 'lights out'.
And yet here he was making his way through the deserted kitchens yet again.
Dek had managed to get Max to go to the Med bay with him and his nurse friend, Mary. She had bitched and complained but they could tell that her heart wasn't in it, as her pale clammy hands shook with the after effects of her seizing fit. Besides she had Dek, Mets, Steve, Sunny, Drew, Aiden and Pix egging her on. C.O or not, she was still a teenager and cracked under the combined peer pressure and common sense arguments of the group.
Steve swung open the door to the kitchen, its familiar scent hitting him and filling him with memories. He edged in carefully better things to worry about at the moment than a soldier on walk about. Besides he'd been coming to the kitchens since he could remember and no one had ever caught him before. It was a comforting place to him, the smell of lingering foods, the soft hum of the refrigerator and cool tiles under his feet. As he headed for the fridge he was drawn back in time.
361 crept through the darkened halls frantically rubbing the wet tears from his face, but to his shame fresh ones sprung in their place in a never ending stream. His breath came in short bursts as sobs were wrenched from his small chest. 361 turned to face the wall, almost hugging it, trying desperately to stem the flow of tears. His six-year old body shuddered as he scrubbed furiously at his face. He was a soldier; he wasn't supposed to show weakness. He'd get taken away and punished if he was found crying. It was why he had crept out of his bunk and out of the dorm where his unit all lay sleeping. He didn't think that 494 would report him, even though he was dorm monitor, 494 wasn't like that. He wasn't like the other Unit's monitors, it was obvious that one day 494 would be appointed Squad Leader and then Commanding officer- he was just that kind of boy, and even the trainers said that he was a natural leader. He was lenient to his Unit mates but, still, 361 didn't want to give him the choice of turning him in to Renfro. He'd crept past a snoring 202 and 511 who was curled up in 510's bunk and headed out of the door, being careful not to knock 555 who was sprawled half in her bunk and half out.
He took a deep breath and tried to calm down which was when he noticed the sliver of light peeking under the door at the far end of the corridor.
His natural curiosity made him pad barefoot down the empty corridor, his paper-thin cotton gown swaying around his knees. He wandered over to the door and pushed it open carefully, peering around the small crack he had made.
His eyes opened wide as he saw the largest woman that he had ever seen in his young life standing in front of the fridge. She was even bigger than the gym teacher that took the X3's for training who, everyone agreed, had either giant or elephant DNA.
But this woman was huge with grey hair tied back tightly in a bun at her nape.
He let out a small gasp as she suddenly turned around quickly and pinned him with small black eyes.
"Who's there?" her voice was raspy and 361 felt a stab of fear at being caught out of his bunk.
"X5-361, Ma'am." He had been taught to answer grown ups without question or hesitation. He stood to attention and waited to be reprimanded for being out of the dorm.
She looked down at his tear streaked, frightened face and softened.
"What's wrong boy, can't sleep?"
"No, Ma'am." He shook his head.
She held up a finger. "I have just the thing. Come in here."
361 reluctantly shuffled forwards, feeling the cool tiles on his bare feet as he came into the light.
He watched nervously as she rattled pots and placed something on the cooker. He gulped as his fertile imagination ran through all of Manticore's torture techniques that used heat.
"Sit up here."
Responding to the request like an order, he climbed onto the high stool and shuffled until he was sat, his legs dangling a few inches from the floor, his hands clasped nervously in his lap and back ramrod straight.
"Permission to speak, Ma'am?" he said quietly and the lady turned from whatever she was doing by the pantry and stared at him.
"Yes, child?"
"W-what's my punishment to be for being out after lights out?" If it hadn't been forbidden he would have cursed at the tremble in his voice emphasizing his weakness. He was a soldier, he kept repeating to himself, his lip shouldn't tremble and his voice shouldn't waver.
The woman handed him a glass.
"Drink up."
The mixture was an off-white colour and was warm in his small hands.
He was alien to the notion of refusing an order and put his lips to what he was certain was some kind of poison.
He sipped with a resigned air and then his eyes flew open as he tasted the milky, warm texture that slipped down his throat comfortingly.
"Hot milk, good to get you to sleep." She informed him. "Now tell me what had you wandering the halls at this time of night."
361 bit his lip, the lady was kind. Maybe she wouldn't tell Renfro.
"X5-360 is my twin. She's been taken away again. S-sometimes when they t-take us… w-when we go away; s-sometimes we don't c-come back."
To his horror, the tears started to well up in his eyes again and he started to breathe harder trying to block them away. "S-she's m-my-"
He started down at his glass biting hard on his bottom lip.
The woman looked down at his bent head and felt a pang of pity for the poor children who would grow up to be merciless soldiers, just mindless automatons told to crush, kill and destroy. Their lives, this child's life, would be meaningless except as a soldier and future research puppets. But for now, right at this point, he was still a child and needed comfort.
She slung an arm over his back and pulled him in for a hug. His small body was stiff and unrelenting but the tension ebbed from his shoulders.
"It's okay, honey."
His head snapped up. "It is?"
No grown up had ever said that before and she smiled.
"Sure, whatever will be, will be and no crying will change that."
361 nodded sadly, absorbing the wisdom with a grace that spanned beyond his years. He sipped the milk letting it warm him to his bones.
"I'm the head cook here, Mrs. Tobey. Now anytime you can't sleep, you just hop along to the kitchen. I'll leave instructions and some milk on the bottom shelf. You can follow instructions, can't you?"
361 almost smiled as he drained the glass; of course he could follow instructions. It was all he did all day long.
"Yes, Ma'am." He handed her back the empty glass and slipped off his chair.
"Back to bed." She cautioned and 361 saluted before sliding silently out of the room like a ghost.
Steve chuckled at the memory as he slid over the slippery tiles and headed for the fridge. He pulled it open and bent down. At the bottom of the chilly fridge was a small carton of milk and a tatty piece of paper with heating instructions. He didn't need the paper, as he had memorised the instructions at 6 years old, but it was another comforting thing to see it there.
He pulled out the milk and shut the door with a sharp click, grinning into the darkness.
----
The morning weather seemed to match the moods that permeated the air as they all stood in formation waiting for the Trainers to come and begin sessions.
The courtyard looked drearier than ever and the dark clouds seemed to herald the fact that all was not well in the land of the X's.
The sea of stoic faces as the soldiers stood in formation was not an unusual sight but the telltale sparkle of life as the warmth filled the air was conspicuous by its absence.
There were no sly sideways glances or muffled giggles, the soldiers stood motionless and tense and the air kept even the more confident X7's away.
Pix let his gaze flit over the ranks noting with alarm the stiff way that Max held herself. Of course she was still sore and disorientated from the surgery last night. He shivered at the memory of the slight form of one of his best friends slamming into the wall as the tremors struck her, her pale face a mask of pain. He didn't know what to do for her and for the first time in his life was crying in pure frustration. Pix never wanted to feel panic like that again.
Of course after an Operation like that she really needed two days rest but Max, being Max, insisted on getting up and going to drills.
But that wasn't why he was watching her, afraid for her. Her face was far too pale and her features set in a familiar Manticore mask that hid pain and stubbornness. Her posture was rigid, and to anyone that knew her, it broadcast that under that fierce protective shield, she was hurt.
Pix stood one row behind her and let his eyes flick down to her hands, clasped loosely behind her back where only a select few could see the telltale trembling of her fingers- an after effect of the seizures and later surgery. And maybe even anger directed at the person at her side.
Alec, who stood as stiffly as Max, had his own indications of anger and hurt. Pix could see the little tic in Alec's jaw work as he ground his teeth together.
The obvious tension between their highest-ranking officers contributed to the atmosphere of uncertainty and unease within the ranks.
The last time there had been this much pain in the unit, Alec had been in Psy Ops and it had taken Max months to forgive the Squad for their antagonism.
No one wanted to go back to that place again.
Trainer Banns walked onto the grounds and stared in slight unease at the soldiers.
"Aten-hut!" he called but since they were all already as stiff and to attention as possible, no one moved.
"Uh okay then," it was obvious that even the Trainer could feel whatever it was that permeated the air.
"We are splitting into groups today and I need two of you to take over training of the X6's gym session. Trainer Kat is unavailable today to take them."
"Sir!" Max stepped forward, which wasn't really surprising. Normally it fell to her and Alec, as the two C.O's, to train the younger ones. It was a job that they both relished. Max, especially, enjoyed taking the X6's for gym as it allowed her to burn off energy as well as to take it easy if she wanted to.
"Myself and X5- 633 will take the assignment."
Pix, Aiden, Steve, Mets, Sunny, Drew and Dek knew that some thing was wrong between Max and Alec last night. By Biggs' lack of surprise it was clear that he knew too. But after Max's statement there was no doubt in anyone's mind that there was some thing wrong between the two C.O's. Chance looked at Pix with a concerned face and he mouthed.
"Tell you later."
She nodded and turned back to the front.
"Very well 452, they should be in the gym."
Max turned to Drew and motioned for her to follow along and only Pix could see the sudden slump in Alec's shoulders which was gone as quick as Max walked right by him without even a glance.
This wasn't good.
----------------
Chance tapped her foot on the floor in a quick rhythm as she waited for Pix to finish his shower.
She had watched Alec all day and was getting increasingly frantic as his expression seemed set in a mask of blandness, almost as if he daren't have any emotions in case they hurt him.
Pix had seemed to know at least a little of what was going on and she was determined to find out what was wrong with her C.O and adopted big brother.
Just as she was about to pace down to the shower block to find him, Pix walked into the room towel drying his wet hair.
Chance swallowed hard as droplets of water snaked down his chest, his shirt tantalizingly absent and jeans slung low on his hips.
His head snapped up as he heard her gulp and he jumped at seeing her in the centre of the room.
"Geez Chance!" He exclaimed, his hand rubbing his heart, "I know I'm a perfect Manticore specimen but I'm sure I can still have a heart attack!"
"Uh huh," Chance's eyes never left the little circles he was making on that smooth skin.
Pix noted her glance and his eye glittered in amusement.
"Manticore calling Chance, come in sweetheart!"
Chance snapped back to attention, blushing wildly. She caught the amusement in his face and fought the infantile urge to poke her tongue out at him.
"Uh, so what is wrong with Alec?"
Pix pouted, "Oh I see, come here to stare at the attractions but forgo the hello kiss and pleasantries. You don't see me, I feel so used!" He clutched his chest and sobbed dramatically. "Is that all I am to you, just a pretty face?"
"No." Chance said seriously, "You have great body too."
Pix grinned. "Well in that case!" he pulled her close to him so that she could feel the heat of his strong body through her thin shirt.
Her lips curved into a smile as he ducked his head and covered her mouth with his own.
Chance melted into him as his hands roamed over the back of her shirt, caressing her shoulders and running his fingers through her long dark hair.
She made a sound of disappointment as he moved away only to turn it into a moan as his soft, silken lips nibbled their way down her throat, his teeth nipping at her pulse point.
When he pulled away his sensual lips quirked at her heavy lidded desire and flushed complexion.
"Much better," he murmured. "Say 'Good morning Pix.'"
"Good morning Pix." She sighed, her mind still entangled.
"Say 'it's great to see you, Pix'."
"Great to see you," she grinned, her senses coming back to her.
He realised this and his mischievous spirit rose, "Now say, you are a god, Pix and I will obey only you."
Her eyes narrowed, "You are so full of it."
"Close enough."
They laughed and she slid away from him noting, resignedly, the damp front of her shirt.
"Now look, I'm all wet." She chastised and his eyebrows waggled.
"It's a good look for you."
She swiped at her front, not seeing the heat in his gaze and sighed.
When she looked again, Pix was leaning against his bed. His eyes were surrounded by big black circles and he looked exhausted.
"You okay, Pix?"
"Tired." He said with a small, weary smile. "It's been a hell of a few days, I can't sleep and all this with our C.O's-" he sighed, "It's a lot, you know."
"Okay, so what is with Alec?" She shrugged. "He was so off in drills and then later on in lessons. He is distraught and you seemed to know what is going on. So what is with him, what's happened?"
He stared at her for a long second. He had stayed up with Max all last night in the infirmary and he was physically and mentally exhausted. Max was part of his family, he loved her and watching her lie there shaking enough to concussion, he had never been so scared and the crowning point was that there was NOTHING that he could do.
She could have died and he'd have been helpless.
His anger and vulnerability in the face of this illness was pushed aside to deal with later.
They had never had to face their mortality in so obvious a way before and the idea that he could lose someone that he cared so deeply about was rending to his fragile heart. The scare had lasted until she opened those big brown eyes and smiled at him. His relief had been tangible and as soon as he'd got back to his room, the relief and fear had hit him, and he'd spent an hour in the shower trying to stop his own shaking.
He needed some sleep and to try to forget about the haunted face of Max as she lay broken on the table.
But it didn't seem likely that he would get that and his frustration with his helplessness ebbed back as Chance calmly stood there not knowing what had happened and asking so confidently what Max had done to Alec this time.
His temper, usually a slow creature, was warmed into life by his weariness and mounting frustration. He lashed out.
"Don't you mean, now what has the 09er done?"
Chance's mouth dropped at the coolness that had entered his voice.
"I never said that." She shook her head.
"But isn't that what you meant?" He moved back into the room and searched for his shirt.
"No, not at all. Dammit Pix." She stared at his rigid back, the playfulness gone from him.
"Why don't you ask Biggs if you want Alec's story?" His voice showed no emotion as he hunted for his top. "I'm sure they'll be able to tell you what happened to your satisfaction."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, forget it." He swept his hand through his damp hair.
"Easier said than done. Look, Pix I didn't say anything about Max."
"No you wouldn't." He said ruefully.
"What have I done?" She flapped her arms, unsure what she had done to make Pix mad at her. Normally he was so easy going; it was only when Max was mentioned that he went overprotective.
"Forget it." He said again but she wasn't about to be pushed around.
"No, all I wanted to know was what happened to Alec!"
"Right, and the fact that Max looked like hell just skated across your attention." He clenched his jaw. "Alec is a great guy but you Seattle lot are so damn blinkered when it comes to him. He isn't a god. Contrary to popular opinion he does screw up and when he does he hurts people."
Chance's eyes were wide.
"But then you wouldn't get that," he finished tiredly, "not while Biggs worships the guy, you will too."
Chance swallowed. "What do you mean by that?"
"Just that you'll follow the mainstream opinion, especially if it concerns Alec." He was too annoyed and too disappointed to be tactful. He'd sat up with Max and Dek all last night just watching her as she tossed and turned and cried in her sleep. Words thrown about in nightmares that had them all shuddering, and in that maelstrom of pain, amidst words like 'Psy Ops' and 'Bulli', was the pain filled cry 'Alec'. Whatever he had done, she put on par with Bulli and that was enough to make Pix want to know what happened- if just to protect Max.
Chance watched as he drew a tired hand over his face, he looked so exhausted all of a sudden and she wasn't sure that she liked the way the conversation was going. He made it sound like she didn't have an original thought or opinion, and it stung that the one man that she wanted to think well of her didn't seem to.
"Is that what you think?"
He turned to her. "What am I supposed to think, Chance?"
"I thought you had a better opinion of me than that." her voice betrayed her hurt and she tried to mask it like Manticore had showed them.
"When are you going to understand that people's opinions shouldn't matter? What matters is heart." His voice got louder as his frustration with her showed through. "How you feel. No, you're too wrapped up in what Biggs and Alec think of you, you're too busy trying to please them to be your own person."
"So why am I here then?" She challenged, "Biggs doesn't want me to be and yet here I am."
"Yeah, why is that?" He asked quietly and she started, stung.
"Don't you want me?"
Pix looked down at her as pain filled her eyes and he reached out rubbing his hands on her shoulders.
"I do, so much."
"So what's the problem?" Her voice was soft, her eyes questioning but relieved at his answer.
"I need to know if you want me for me or just because I'm the only one who sees you; who doesn't label you and put you in a box." It was the first time that he had voiced his fear to her and it felt like a huge burden was lifted.
Chance was shocked to see the sincerity in his eyes.
"What?"
"Every other guy in your life sees you as Chance Biggs' sister. I was the first to see you as Chance the woman. I need to know if what you feel is just gratitude."
"I- I-" she had no idea what to say to that and Pix pushed her away gently.
"Look, can you just go away, okay? I need some space right now."
Even though his tone was gentle he was firm and she felt it keenly.
"Think on it, okay?"
Chance nodded and walked away her head awhirl.
What did he mean?
Chance stalked along to her room and kicked the door closed her mind spinning with what had just happened, she'd just gone in to see what had happened with Alec and they had a huge row.
She tried to sort through things in her mind. Firstly he accused her of not seeing Max, always being so blinded by Biggs and Alec's opinion that she rarely looked beyond what they told her.
That stung; the idea that she was so…so…sheep like.
She knew that Biggs and Alec's opinion had always mattered to her but that didn't mean that she couldn't form her own. Right?
But even as she tried to defend herself, she thought about all of the times that she had just allowed Alec and Biggs to make her decisions for her, all of the times that it had been easier to sit back rather than fight them on any choice. To her shame she couldn't recall really standing up to the two of them on anything.
Was she really that weak? That she would rather just allow herself to go along with the crowd than to make choices and stick by them? It was something to think about.
She pushed aside the thought for now and settled on his second accusation- that she was only near him; she only had feelings for him because of gratitude.
She remembered the first time that she had seen him, his concerned smile gazing down at her and joking as he picked her up with that boyish grin. He had been the first person to ever look and really see her, see her as more than a shadow- as more than Biggs' shy sister and to push her into becoming a real person. Of course she was grateful to him, he had noticed her.
But it was more than that. His shy glances and unexpected serious side within his joking personality all attracted her to him in a way that made her heart pound each and every time she saw him, and what may have started out as gratitude had grown and matured into something so precious to her.
She loved him.
Really loved him; more than she could say. He was the bright point of her day and his kisses the highlight of her life. Now that he had given her life she wanted to share that with him.
Her face split into a smile as she thought about his practical jokes and the humour he gave to their lives. Chance tucked her hands under her knees, pulling them in close and gently fell asleep to thoughts of Pix.
---
Techie walked up and down the corridor again thinking hard.
He'd wanted to have a quick word with Max but that didn't seem possible when she looked like thunder and Psy Ops rolled into one scary assed package. As it was it was probably lucky since he had Drew's words resounding around his skull at a million clicks per minute.
"Feen knows that you're scared of her. She also knows that you like her and she's been waiting for you to make a move. My advice is to walk up to the girl and kiss her."
Just like that, walk up to the girl and kiss her? It boggled his mind. Could he actually do that? Just kiss the girl who still made his knees shake?
He paced up and down the hall outside the library. They had to write a long essay about the proper uses of firearms after Pi- uh someone rigged those in the rifle range with glitter pellets instead of bullets. One shot and a cascade of glitter came from the end of the gun. It was ingenious but had ensured that they were, once again in punishment. For a moment Techie forgot the dilemma he was in and marveled at the fact that Pix was still alive after all of the stunts that he pulled in his time here. The Trainers had to know that it was him and yet they did nothing- well apart from throwing him in Solitary or in punishments, and even that was starting to wane as they realised that all of this time was giving him space to think up new pranks. They had started to put them all in punishments now as a new method of preventing Pix, hoping that the soldiers would put pressure on him to stop. But since he was trying to lighten the mood that had darkened suddenly, none of them wanted him to. They'd take punishment if it meant that they could laugh and they'd all go to Psy Ops if it meant that Max and Alec would both lose the haunted and stubborn looks that they had begun to sport…well maybe not as far as Psy Ops.
They wanted their C.O's back and fast. They needed that level of stability, especially since they all had problems that they wanted help with.
Techie sighed and bit his lip as he considered the idea again.
"Just walk up to the girl and kiss her."
Argh! He threw his hands in the air in frustration.
He turned quickly as he heard a door open and footsteps echo down the hall. He took a deep breath and tried to pull himself together. He didn't want anyone to see him talking to himself and throw him into Psy Ops and he really didn't think it was the right time to do that anyway- not with Max and Alec being so off with each other.
He tried to plaster a soldierly look on his face but it leeched off when he saw who was striding down the hall.
He gulped.
"H-hey Feen."
"Techie." She eyed him carefully and he took the opportunity to stare back.
She was much shorter than his six feet and so he could always stare down at the head of copper curl and piercing blue eyes but she seemed to intimidate him nonetheless.
"You've been avoiding me," she challenged with her usual bluntness. "And I don't like it."
"U-uh, sorry?" He winced at how pathetic he sounded. He was a soldier dammit! Why was it that at any normal time he could talk no problem, but as soon as her temper flared he was reduced to this?
Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms over her chest. "I'd ask why, but for some reason I don't think you'd tell me."
Techie looked down at her, her eyes flashing and cheeks starting to turn red with annoyance. He'd never tell her, at the risk of losing major body parts, but right now she looked so cute.
"I mean. I thought we were past this already, we are friends, although sometimes I wonder why," she scowled darkly. "I mean its not as if we have a huge deal in common and you seem to spend more time hiding from me than actually talking to me, which isn't appealing by the way!" She pursed her lips in exasperation. "It could give a girl issues."
"Unlikely," he said quietly. Feen was the last girl to get insecure over a guy. Besides it wasn't like his opinion meant anything to her, right? But what if it did?
Feen continued unabated.
"But that is neither here nor there as we both know that that isn't what this is, what it is, is up for debate, I mean Techie, do you have any idea-"
"Feen?" Techie interrupted looking at her like he'd never seen her before. "Shut up!"
She gaped. "What?"
He shrugged, suddenly looking like was enjoying himself, "I said shut up."
Her eyes grew wider, "And exactly what makes you think that you can just tell me what to-"
Techie grabbed her forearms and pulled her into his body, planting his lips firmly over hers to stop her rant.
Feen gasped and Techie took the opportunity to explore the contours of her mouth. Her eyes fluttered closed and a self-satisfied smile curved her lips around his as he deepened the kiss.
Techie raised his hands from her arms, shaking his soft fingertips up her shoulders to tangle in her fluffy red curls as he pulled her closer.
Feen moaned deeply and pushed her hands against his chest, letting her palms caress the muscles hidden under his military grey shirt.
Techie sighed, pushing her away to look down at the girl. Her eyes were glazed, this time not in anger and were heavy lidded, a goofy look of contentment on her face.
"You were saying?" He smirked, feeling much more like himself again.
Feen sighed, "About bloody time too!"
Techie's lips twitched and they both burst into delighted laughter.
Feen touched her swollen lips, "You kiss good."
"My grammar's better than yours too." He teased as she poked her tongue out at him.
"Well what now?" She asked, biting her lip.
"That depends," he said, "have you stopped yelling at me?"
She nodded and shrugged. "I was running out of steam anyway."
"I doubt that," he said well aware of how much Feen could yell once she got going.
Her eyes narrowed as she realised what he said and she pulled back and slapped his arm with all her strength.
"Hey!" He protested rubbing his shoulder, "You and Max have the same deep seated issues." He frowned. "I should make you go see Renfro for anger management."
Feen pouted, "On the other hand I could always invite you to another girl's night."
"Or we could forget the whole thing." He beamed hopefully and Feen laughed tucking her arm in his.
"You may be cute as hell and kiss great, but you're still a wuss."
------
"So perhaps it'd be easier if you sat this one out, 521."
Sunny glared at the Trainer and resisted the urge to pull out his fingernails one by one with pliers and lemon juice.
It had been a rough day and her "I'm always Sunny" persona was starting to grate on her own nerves.
She wasn't sunny, she wasn't bright and if that officious little prat tried to look down her top one more time, she really wouldn't be responsible for her own actions.
Normally live ordinance wasn't one of her favourite subjects, she'd prefer to be out there actually kicking ass rather than shooting it. She could do with releasing some good old-fashioned tension and yet, that…that…Trainer had the nerve to suggest that she take a break. It wasn't as if everyone else hadn't riddled the dummy with holes already. Okay so that wasn't her dummy, strictly speaking…either of them. But she was annoyed, dammit, and was sick of trying to be the mommy of the group when they were all acting like teenagers.
Why couldn't Max and Alec see how much they were hurting, not only each other, but the whole group? With Max not speaking to Alec and he alternating between hurt, anger and- in Sunny's opinion- immature pouting, neither seemed ready to make up just yet. And it was driving her crazy.
She took deep breaths and unclenched her fists.
The rest of the guys were just as sick of it, but none seemed to be taking it as hard as she was and she had no idea why that was.
She lifted her head and glanced around. Well Drew looked quite rational, despite constantly being around Max's temper and she was even able to talk with Dek. Chance seemed nervous but obviously whatever Pix had said had calmed her down, or at least made her think. Although Flex and Skye looked worried, they could still laugh and- Sunny sat up.
Drew and Dek, Flex and Skye, the only other person who looked as unhinged as she felt was Carrot and why? Because Tara was gone and he had no one to hold and share with.
With depressing clarity Sunny suddenly realised why she was taking this harder than everyone else. It was because they all had someone to share their worries with and to hold and comfort them while she didn't.
Sunny hadn't really been interested in the mating side of things, unlike Feen, who talked about Techie 24 hours a day, and Cece who was far too boy crazy for a soldier. Sunny had many admirers within Manticore and even more on the outside due to her long blonde locks, sunny personality and infectious laughter. But she hadn't been interested in any of them and now, when she needed to be held and comforted in a way that soldiers were supposed to frown upon, she wondered if she hadn't missed out.
Her eyes fluttered closed and she laid her head back on the low bench that she was sitting on and listened to the ricochet of bullets as her friends and family practised their firing techniques.
"Is this seat taken?"
She opened one eye to see Biggs staring down at her with a shy smile on his face.
"It is now." She dredged up a welcoming smile even as she wanted to tell him to get lost.
"You okay Sunny, I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine." She lied. "Nothing wrong with me."
Biggs raised an eyebrow in disbelief and she stuck out her tongue.
"Now, now Sunny. You shouldn't lie to old Biggs." He sat by her and threw his arm over her shoulder. "Tell me."
"Seriously, its nothing."
"So why the face like Renfro in mating season?"
"Ew!" Sunny smacked his arm, unable to stop the grin that slid over her face. "Biggs that was disgusting!"
He laughed. "Sorry darling!"
Sunny looked out at the Units blissfully pumping bullets into the dummies at the end of the field. Dek laughed at something Drew did and she pointed the gun at him, his hands flew up and a panicked look filled his face. Sunny bit her lip in amusement. Biggs followed her glance.
"Someone upset you?" He ran his finger over her shoulder. "Want me to kill someone for you?"
Sunny laughed at that, her black cloud lifting.
She could always count on Biggs to make her laugh. She swallowed. She could count on Biggs and Pix to make her laugh. She could count on Max to hear her out, she could count on Aiden for back up and Carrot for course help. These were people that she could count on. This was her family and no matter how she felt she knew that they would always back her up and be there for her.
She looked back at Biggs. So maybe she didn't have someone to touch and hold her, to kiss her. But all around her was family, by her side were people who loved her and would stand by her.
"Anything I can do?"
She grabbed his hand and squeezed his fingers in gratitude. "You just did."
Biggs looked slightly perplexed but smiled back at her beaming face.
"Good, well that was relatively painless."
Sunny leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.
"Thanks," and with that she stood up and walked away leaving a bemused Biggs with his hand on his cheek where phantom lips still lingered.
----
"You know if you kept your mouth shut, you'd be marginally more attractive."
"Yeah well if you had half a brain you'd be dangerous!"
Flex bit back a laugh.
"Is that true Princess? Because I can recall someone asking me for help during a mission because I was more dangerous than she was."
Skye put her hand on her hip, "Appearances are deceiving, which you should be well aware considering how much time you spend in front of the mirror!"
"Hey!" Flex said in indignation and Skye grinned.
"It's worse than sharing a room with Cece, you spent so long checking your hair in the bathroom I thought we'd have to give you a time out."
"Some of us take pride in our appearance. The rumpled look is out, you know!" He eyed her crumpled khaki's with mock distaste.
"Between Cosmo and hair gel, it's no wonder you never have any money left over after missions!"
"I have enough for my needs!"He winked at Skye.
"Oh yeah I can just see it." Skye coughed to clear her throat and then mimicked Flex's deep baritone. "Excuse me ma'am I'd like…a number three cut all over, the sideburns must be exactly 1/8th of an inch and enough stubble to look manly without an excess of hairiness."
Chance squealed in laughter as Skye pitcher her voice a few decibels higher.
"Ooh yes Mr. Flex, Sir. You know we all look forward to your visits as we can buy our summer homes with the money you put down for your special treatment."
Dek wiped his eyes as Skye stuck her chest out in a mockery of Flex. "Glad to be of service little lady." Skye placed her hands next to her cheeks. "Oh Mr. Flex, you're sooo brawny." She fluttered her eyes and Flex cracked up.
"God Skye, you have to stop now! That's scary!"
Feen giggled harder as Skye straightened her shirt. "And I didn't even get to the muscle flexing yet."
Max sat back and watched as Flex and Skye launched into yet another verbal spat. From the corner of her eye she could see Alec playing a quiet game of cards with Biggs and he continually sneaked glances in her direction, which she studiously ignored instead concentrating on the scene in front of her.
It was hilarious to watch, even when you weren't in the mood to laugh, which to be fair, she hadn't been for the past few days. But as Flex creased up into laughter at Skye's mimicking of him, Max found her lips curving in a genuine smile.
"I think it's scary enough without the flexing." She added and Skye beamed at her.
"You think?"
"Please don't encourage her, Max!" Flex begged and dropped to his knees in front of her.
"Sorry Flex, us girls have to stick together!" Emma said as she draped herself over the sofa.
"Ahh foiled, come on Dek. Help a guy out here!"
Dek held his hands up. "Hey dude, I know better than to get into a battle of the sexes."
"Wimp." Flex said derisively and Dek shrugged.
Drew leaned back against the wall and rolled her eyes.
"Honestly, Flex. You think you'd have learned by now."
"Oh wait!" Feen hurried over to the hidden radio that Tara had found on one of her away missions and smuggled back for them. Techie and Chance fixed it to pick up music stations and they played it low in the Rec room. With their transgenic hearing there was no problem, even on its lowest setting.
Feen turned up the radio and Max recognised the song that was playing as a country song from the 21st century and it was one that she and Bill had loved.
She started singing along to the great delight of all in the room.
Dek walked over to Drew who was grinning at the sight of Max coming back out of her shell and singing along with the radio and Feen.
He leaned next to her by the window.
"Hey good looking!" He said smoothly and she eyed him.
"That's bad."
"But true."
Dek grinned boyishly and Drew ducked her head trying to quell the pounding of her heart, certain that he could hear it.
Dek bit his lip and looked at the curtain of hair that hid her face from view.
"Drew?"
"Hmm?"
He said nothing for a minute but raised his hand and stroked one strand of her hair and wound it around his finger. She glanced warily at him.
"What are you doing?"
"Hmm?" He echoed.
Drew stepped away taking deep breaths. "Stop it."
Dek blinked, bemused. "Stop what?"
She tucked the strands of hair behind her ears and gave a quick look to make sure that every one else was still watching as Max and Feen sang in duet. Then she turned back to Dek.
"How long have we been best friends for, Dek?"
"Forever." He replied without hesitation. He stared at his best friend and took in her troubled expression. To his shock he realised that she was scared. For the first time in her life, Drew was scared spitless of something and it was him.
Over the past few weeks, he'd had time to think about what Drew meant to him and he wanted to find out what he meant to her. The more he looked, the more he realised that Drew was the single most important thing in his existence and that the idea of her with Mets was more than distasteful, it was downright wrong. With that in mind he wanted to test his newfound feelings for her with some old fashioned flirting and he thought that things were going well. Of course he'd had to try something a bit different with her- she wasn't one for flowers and sweet words.
"Drew, what is it?"
"Forever, right and nothing is more important to me that that. Nothing."
"I feel the same." He answered when she paused.
"If I've learned one thing from Max and Alec, it's that feelings of…anything else can kill a friendship faster than a bullet. I just," she took a breath. "I couldn't live if I lost our friendship." She looked up into his eyes, her eyes seriously sincere. "It'd kill me to not see you, not speak to you everyday."
Dek frowned. "But-"
"No, no 'buts'." She held her hand up. "I don't want to risk it, is that clear?"
He cocked his head and nodded slightly.
"Sure if that's what you want."
"It is." She worried her lip and avoided his disappointed eyes and the pang in her own heart.
"I haveta go and do…something." She turned on her heel and walked away from the raucous laughter that she no longer felt part of.
Drew walked miserably down the corridor, hugging her arms to herself.
She hoped she hadn't made a fool of herself. What if Dek had no idea what she was feeling and she had just told her friend that she had feelings for him that he hadn't known about? She paused briefly at her rambling logic but continued with it. After all he hadn't said that he wanted something to happen between the two of them and it was Drew who had done all of the talking. But she stood by her decision. If Max and Alec couldn't work things out then what chance did she and Dek have? She conveniently ignored the fact that she and Dek had been friend's way before Max and Alec had ever even met and that some of the others, Pix and Chance to name but two, seemed to have things worked out pretty well.
She was convinced that she had done the right thing. But then why did her heart hurt?
"Drew, cara?"
She turned to see Mets leaning against the wall staring at her in worry.
He pushed off and ambled towards her, "Is everything okay?"
"Sure," she said, "everything is just fine."
"So why the sad eyes? Has someone done something to upset you, il mio dolce?"
Drew half grinned at the familiar endearment as Mets reached up to stroke her face.
"No."
"I saw you talking with Dek," his eyes darkened," Listen Cara, is there something going on between the two of you? You know that I- I like you a lot."
"Shh," Drew silenced him. "Dek is, and always will be, my best friend. I wouldn't want that ruined."
"But you like him, in that way, si?" He looked sadly at her.
"Doesn't matter." Drew straightened her shoulders and fixed a teasing look on her face. "And I thought I told you to quit with the Italian?"
His face spilt into a handsome grin and his fine dark hair flopped into his eyes in that adorable way she had been attracted to.
"That you did, but since I hadn't seen you alone in a while, I thought I might be forgiven?"
"I guess I can let it go this once."
"Great, I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to help me with a problem in my studies."
Her eyes narrowed, "Really?"
"No, it's just a shallow excuse to get you alone so we can talk." He shrugged and Drew couldn't stop the smile that flitted over her face.
"Shallow?"
"We haven't talked in a while," he pouted. "Come on, give a guy a break?"
She laughed, her eyes lighting up. "Okay, just for a while."
He held his arm out and Drew touched his elbow.
"Come Cara,"
"Mets!"
Dek wandered out of the Rec room, his mind wondering over the things that Drew had said. So from the way she held herself and what she said, it appeared that she had feelings for him that went beyond friends.
But he didn't see it as a bad thing; they were close enough and mature enough that if things didn't work out they could still be best of friends. In his opinion this could only make them closer. She was just scared of losing him, as he was of her. But they had so much to gain if this worked out.
Dek sighed, Drew could be stubborn. He'd win her around but for now, he'd-
Drew's laughter made him turn in time to see her tuck her arm into the crook of Mets pro-offered one. Dek's eyes grew hard as Mets ducked down to whisper something in the girls ear that made her laugh and slap his shoulder affectionately before they rounded the corner leaving Dek to glare at the stone wall in hatred.
Mets hadn't wasted any time moving in on the tomboy, had he? But what did Mets have to offer- he didn't even know Drew that well. He didn't know that she hated roses and loved orchids. Mets didn't know that tickling between Drew's toes was a sure-fire way of getting his ass kicked. Mets was meant for someone like a pampered Princess in a formal dress, not a rambunctious tomboy in faded khaki's and ripped jeans.
No, Drew didn't need someone to spoil her, she needed someone who understood her- and that was Dek.
So Drew didn't want to ruin their friendship? Well, Dek wasn't going to give up on her that easily, he wasn't about to lose her to that smooth talking, pseudo Italian, poster boy. Drew was his girl, he knew it, everyone knew it and now all he had to do was prove it to Drew. He folded his arms and glared after them both.
At that moment Pix came out of the Rec room chuckling and stopped to see Dek with his arms folded tightly glaring at something invisible down the end of the corridor.
"Uh Dek, you okay, Pal?"
"Peachy." The bad boy grinned dangerously. "Hey Pix, fancy helping me out?"
"Name it." Pix said instantly to one of his best friends and co-conspirators.
Dek grinned, Mets thought he had Drew? Well he had another think coming.
This meant war.
-----
"Stupid program, stupid people, stupid, stupid, stupid." Anna muttered as she tapped her way across the keyboard.
"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." B.J said absently as he tapped on the computer terminal next to hers. The two of them had been assigned by one of the Trainers to go over a program they had intercepted from an outside source that may contain useful information on the Reds. So far all it contained were bugs and they were both fed up of sitting here trying to separate the strands of the program. It was hot in the room and the company wasn't what either one wanted at that moment.
Anna glared at him, "No, talking to YOU is the first sign of madness. I, however, am having a decent conversation with the only sane person in the room."
"Whatever you say, Princess." He murmured and went back to his program.
Anna's short temper, which was already frayed by the lack of co-operation from her computer program, snapped.
"Oh shut up, B.J, do you have to have a snide remark for everything I say?"
He whirled in his seat to pin her with an incredulous look.
"Oh that's rich coming from someone who has more bitch than a dog pound."
"Why do I always get stuck with you?" She spat.
"I don't know why I get inflicted with your presence," he scowled back. "I'm thinking Karma- maybe I was a mass murderer in another life."
"As opposed to the paragon of virtue you are in this one?" She rolled her eyes and dragged her hand through her long thick, jet-black locks. "This is stupid!"
"Yes folks, you too can have a double digit IQ like this genetically engineered, bitching machine." B.J said in a faux announcer's voice.
Anna sighed heavily. "Just shut the hell up and get on with the program."
"Sure, it's not like our conversation is exactly stimulating."
As B.J swung back to his monitor Anna felt her anger drain out of her and she regretted what she had said to him. That was always the way with them. Her temper would get the better of her and she'd snap at him, he'd snap back and sometimes it would develop into a full blown fight before she'd stop and walk away, regret instantly falling on her.
It was such a shame because it hadn't always been that way either.
Once upon a time, B.J would never have said anything like that to her, no matter the provocation. Once upon a time B.J had been the essence of sweetness and docility, making even Techie seem outspoken. He'd been eager to help anyone and never took offence at anything, brushing it off with a smile. Once upon a time B.J would have offered to give her aching shoulders a massage and told her to calm down while they went through the program together, making her laugh with his funny asides.
It was such a far cry from the bitter, sarcastic man at her side that she sighed again.
"Do you mind?" B.J griped, "I don't actually need the air con on okay?"
"Whatever." Anna shrugged, throwing off the memory of a boy sweeter than Techie and turned back to her own work.
################################################################
EJW- Nah, I'm angst out for now…if you believe that! Plus Asha needed a back ground she was too damn goody two shoes to be real.
Sassycanuck- Dancing thru time- so elegant I thought.
Jynx- don't hate Max! that wasn't my intention at all!
Moonlite star- they will, in time.
Geminangel- he so deserved his ass kicked!
Acid burn- Smack down is a future possibility. I'm trying to write and post fast- well have to see how that goes. I also have this thing called work….
Jade- K- Things may look bad right now, but they do get better- trust me! More Dek and Drew? LOL- oh you just wait!
m/a fan-- she misses him but damn that girl can hold a grudge!
Givenalias- Nah you didn't step outta line. It was just annoying but I'm over it now.
Stormvind- Alec is the cutest- even though the chap was about Max.
Sigma1- angst with humor- kinda my forte right now. glad you appreciate.
Ange- Hey! Oops didn't mean to make you cry! Well I did but I didn't- if you get what I mean. Anyway so glad that you are enjoying the story and get emotionally involved, Max and Alec are back soon!
Poo- Cured as well as it could be and the guys were so damn sweet to her! McCarthy was an asshole. A hint on who Drew ends up with? Um…well its definitely a he. More Chance here as well for ya,
Messymissy- Dek and Mets together- aww. And mmmm. Yay for Max and yes, ok I get it poor ALEC!
SGOU- I fall victim to the pouty face and make sure that Tara isn't doing anything ishy. More hints about B.J and Anna to come- just wait. I hate to see Alec hurting- but at the same time feel strangely compelled to put him there. Chalk it up to psychosis.
Lynsey Moffit- I will thanks.
Lynn- LOL, ah yes builds bridges for life does fanfic. Aw thanks for saying that I feel the same way too- they are real to me. While I was away from my comp on holiday I missed Dek! I want a Dek nursemaid- especially of he calls me baby. Max's a grumpy sulky teenager with a screwed up head and an abusive childhood- that's how!
QuieraStrawberry9- Hi! You like the Sunny and Biggs thing? Well hopefully they'll get more screen time soon, hope you enjoy that.
Talichernin- I like your tradition- thank you!!!!
Fangedangel- I cant stand to see guys cry either- especially Alec. But hes so sexy when he's vulnerable. LOL!!
Tiggi- Hey there. I try to update as often as I can so glad you appreciate that. Dek is brilliant isn't he, he's fast becoming a fave character. Thanks for your praise, and the compliments- enjoy!
Starr light1- transgenic in tears- ooh good chap title thanks!
Raven- I've had shorter- thanks.
Arwen-amy- I think you and me are on a separate page to everyone else. Kudos to us.
Lyndsay- LOL, glad it had an effect. Tara is a strong girl- and more soldier-like than any of the others remember! Two parters are great to write too- more scope for the imagination. Thanks for the comments and I know that everyone wants to know about Anna and BJ and you will…eventually. I wanna hug Alec!!!
Ganko- well we can all hug Alec to make up for me being evil. Only I'm not done just yet. Sorry! Pix is like a brother isn't he? Oh so damn cute! At your behest- Alec finds out about the seizure! Enjoy!
Nora- thanks pet, ill have to use them.
Rena- Hey, glad I could cheer you up, even a little and enough to review is great! Thank you for the praise and I agree 100% on Max being whiny in most fics too, some I just want to slap her and it makes me not want to read the story.
Natasgi- Vulnerable Alec is fun! And sexy.
Nat452- Uh, just a little while- build tension and settle some issues. More to both soon as I can get out of work! Grrr.
Faeries Twilight- Thanks pet, glad it made you laugh.
Lanlie- LOL, misplaced Maxie! Evil Asha always pissed me off on the show!
Elfie- they are a family no matter how much they fight and I hope I show this. Its getting easier to think of them as people rather than just soldiers and they show that themselves. I don't think they were expecting to be sabotaged by their commander! LOVE Drew! Info on BJ and Anna soon. Glad you caught the comparison. Makes it sting that much more.
Jaded- Glad I persuaded you and even better that you liked it!
Restive nature- I loved Season 1 Max but 2 seemed to have lost her edge which is why I put that back. When I write I like to imagine it too and am glad that you can when you read. I think Max needs someone to point things out to her, she's still too stubborn right now. Neurosis are fun!
Willow98002- he'll get to understand don't worry, someone will tell him.