Getting out of the taxi at King's Cross station Tanwen thanked and paid the driver and looked around for a trolley. Spotting one, she briefly abandoned her trunk with an invisible Loki on the top and went to fetch it. As she yanked the trolley out from the stack she heard someone greet her and turned.
"Oh, hello Clem," she smiled, "how was the rest of your holiday?"
"Oh not bad, the usual, you?"
"Better than I expected," Tanwen replied, "Look, I'll meet you on the platform, I have to go get my trunk," she explained apologetically as she pushed her trolley over to where her trunk sat.
"Ok," Clem called over her shoulder.
"Stupid trunk!" Tanwen muttered grumpily as she tried to lift her trunk onto the trolley and hold the trolley still at the same time to no avail. Every time she lifted one end of her trunk off the ground the trolley would move a few inches to the left or right.
"Want a hand?"
She looked up to see Mark making his way over pushing his own trolley.
"Yes please," she answered eagerly, pushing a loose stand of hair out of her face, flushed with the effort of trying to put her trunk on the trolley.
She held the trolley still while Mark picked up her trunk and deposited it onto the waiting trolley.
"Thanks," Tanwen said gratefully as they pushed their trolleys into the station and towards the platform, "I thought I'd be there all day!"
Mark laughed, "well I'm sure if I hadn't done it someone else would have stepped in to lend you a hand anyway. How was your holiday?" he asked carefully.
"Ok," she replied fairly honestly.
They paused near the opening to platform nine and three quarters, Mark looked searchingly at her and she sighed irritably, "Alright, I take it you know Cedric and I broke up then."
He nodded, "What happened?"
"We had a big fight," she replied shortly and pushed her trolley towards the wall, pretending to be watching the train pulling in at platform nine.
Mark frowned at her back and quickly followed. Once he emerged on the other side Tanwen was already talking to Clem. Clem?! Those two had barely spoken a word to each other all year! Mostly ill humour on Clem's side, but he suspected that there was more to Clem's resentment then the met the eye. Anyway, whatever the reason he was suspicious of the friendly manner in which she and Tanwen were conversing by the train. He didn't like to be so suspicious; it was one of the things that made a Slytherin, well a Slytherin. But of course other people could be suspicious without being a Slytherin so…
"Hi Mark, did you have a good holiday?"
He turned to see Cassie smiling friendlily up at him.
"Yeah, it was really good, you?"
"Good for me too- what's Tanwen doing with Clem?" she asked, distracted by the sight of her best friend talking to someone who, from what she knew, had been horrible to her since the very first day she had arrived.
"Beats me," Mark shrugged.
"That an invitation?" Dom grinned as he came to join them, "what are we all staring at-oh." He spotted Tanwen and Clem and turned questioningly to Cassie and Mark.
"Don't look at me, I don't know what's going on," Cassie shrugged.
The three of them pushed their trolleys over to the train and between them stowed their trunks inside. They wandered along the corridor looking for the rest of their friends. There was the sound of running behind them, and they turned in time to see Lou fling herself at Dom, her face lit up with a huge smile.
"Dom!" She hugged him tightly.
He grinned and kissed her full on the lips causing her to blush, "I've missed you too," he said hugging her tight in return.
Tanwen and Clem were walking down the corridor in the opposite direction. Tanwen grinned as she saw Lou and Dom.
"They're such a cute couple," she remarked to Clem.
Clem looked at the two, a wry smile on her lips, "they do complement each other well."
Tanwen wasn't quite sure what to say to this but was saved having to reply by the others greeting her.
"Hi guys," she replied with a smile as she and Clem walked past, "catch you later."
She turned and waved as she continued on down the corridor. As she turned back, Jon climbed the steps into the train followed by Alex. She paused and Clem looked at her waiting to see what she would do. The moment Jon saw her he paused too,
"Hi Tanwen," he replied cheerfully, "where's your costume? I hope you decided to keep it," he grinned.
Tanwen stiffened and replied, "Jon," nodding her head in acknowledgment of him, "Alex," she nodded to his brother.
"Come on," Clem urged, taking her arm and walking into the next carriage, sliding the door behind them as they went.
The four stood a short way up the corridor stared.
"What was that?" Mark asked loudly.
Jon turned, a slightly miffed expression on his face and shrugged, "She's been odd with me ever since…ever since she and Cedric broke up."
Alex placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, "she just needs time to adjust."
The twins closed the short distance between them and the other four.
"So what happened that night anyway?" Cassie asked, "I don't want to be a gossip, but something tells me Tanwen won't be to open in telling me about it. I got the Tanwen version on what happened with her and Cedric, but I don't get why she'd act all weird towards you. I guess she must have left things out, it was pretty vague."
Finding an empty compartment Jon and the other Gryffindors filed in as Alex left them to find Lizzie. Jon was about to tell them when Marcia banged on the glass from outside, grinning at them all. A few minutes later she appeared at the door to their compartment and flopped down into a seat next to Cassie.
"Phew, I thought I was going to miss the train," she gasped breathlessly.
"You almost did," Mark commented wryly as the train began to pull out the station.
"Where's Tanwen?" she asked, "anyone seen her?"
"Oh I've seen her alright," Jon replied, his face unreadable.
"And? How is she?" she prompted, ignoring his tone.
"Dealing, apparently," was all he said.
Once again Cassie prompted him to tell them what happened that night at his house and reluctantly he told them what he knew.
"So it's your fault?" Cassie summarised sceptically.
He shrugged, "she said not when I spoke to her afterwards, but I don't know, the way she's acting to me…"
"What do you girls think?" Mark asked, "I mean she would be more likely to tell one of you if she did have feelings for Jon."
"Hey, I'm still here!" Jon interrupted, his cheeks tinged with the hint of a blush.
"She's kind of secretive," Cassie shrugged, "I mean, most of the time she's outgoing and fun, but I just get the impression that most of that is external."
The other two girls nodded solemnly.
"It's like she had some sort of dark secret that she covers with superficiality and laughter," Marcia added.
Again the other girls nodded in agreement.
"Tanwen Gray with a dark secret!" Dom laughed incredulously breaking the serious mood, he shook his head, "I don't think so, she's all lightness and sunshine."
The three girls glared at him for daring to dismiss so lightly what it had taken them months to conclude.
"I don't know," Jon said slowly, "If you girls had said that two weeks ago I would have agreed with Dom but I'm not sure now. Maybe you see things us guys just don't." He shrugged.
"Don't tell me you're going to play the 'Female intuition' card again?" Dom joked, raising an eyebrow at Lou who sat to his left.
"Yep, and it's always the trump," Marcia cut in.
"Honestly Marcia, does everything have to be about cards?" Mark laughed, lightening the atmosphere.
"Speaking of cards," Marcia drew a pack of cards out of her pockets, "does anyone want to play?"
They guys laughed as Cassie and Lou groaned, having lived in the same dorm as Marcia for four years they knew all too well about Marcia's love of cards.
**************
They saw neither hide nor hair of Tanwen for the whole journey back to Hogsmeade. The next time they saw her out on the platform she was standing with Clem and two Slytherins, Blair Amidza and Rakern Valimo.
"What's she doing with those scum?" Jon growled as he and the others stepped onto the platform.
"Talking looks like," Marcia replied cheekily.
He turned to scowl at her.
"You know, Tanwen doesn't instinctively hate all Slytherins just because that was the house the Sorting Hat put them into," Lou reminded him gently.
"And not all Slytherins are bad," Mark added, though looked at the two guys stood with Tanwen sceptically.
"Well I don't like it either," Dom said, siding with Jon, "I mean, there's a reason why there's so much animosity between the two houses. They hate our guts and we hate theirs."
"But Tanwen doesn't," Cassie said, "I don't know how much truth there is in the animosity between us and Slytherin, but Tanwen's never made that much distinction between houses."
"I remember," Jon replied grimly, thinking back to when she went to sit with Cedric and Will at the beginning of term.
He turned to go and get into one of the waiting carriages and crashed straight into someone coming from the opposite direction.
"Watch it Contay," Cedric said darkly.
The two stared at each other tensely for a few seconds.
"Break it up you two," Lizzie said, coming to join them and pushing the two boys apart, "go practice exerting your manliness somewhere else."
Jon turned on his heels and strode over to get into one of the carriages, the others followed.
"I guess that means Cedric blames you too," Cassie remarked in the darkness of the coach. Jon shot her an angry look that she couldn't see.
********************
That night Tanwen sat on her bed and stared out of the window. Behind her she could hear the soft breathing of the other girls, she was the only one still awake. Outside the waning moon shone brightly and the stars glittered against the darkness of the sky. She sat motionless on the bed, not thinking anything, exhausted from the effort of exuding an energy all day that she just didn't have. It was tiring having to always pretend that you were enjoying life and weren't affected by the huge row you'd had with your ex.
She was thankful that there was a Quidditch match coming up; Ravenclaw versus Slytherin, at least this would remind Wood of the strenuous practice regime he liked to impose on them all. Not that he really need a reminder.
After an hour or so she drifted off to sleep.
She dreamt she was back at home, the home she had lived in with her parents. Cedric was with her, holding her hand as they ran through the house calling to her parents. They went on further into the house, the light from the windows became less and the rooms seemed to get smaller the further in they went. Suddenly Cedric pulled his hand from hers and began to run back out the way they had come. She tried to call him back to her but her voice wouldn't raise above a whisper. Then in front of her Sirius ran past into another room. She followed and found herself back out in that street were she had last seen him all those years before. The ground was littered with bleeding bodies and the air filled with their pain-filled cries. She turned back to find the door she had come through still open and Lupin had appeared next to her. He took her hand and led her back through into the house.
"He's waiting," Lupin told her, gesturing to a dark room open in front of her. Then he disappeared and she started to walk towards the blackness ahead of her.
Suddenly the air grew thick and she couldn't see, voices all around her were mocking her, shouting her father was a murderer, he deserved to die, how could she love a man like that? She flailed her arms around her head, trying to ward the voices off, her throat tight and struggling to breathe.
Tanwen woke with a start. Her breathing ragged and her skin soaked with sweat. She drew her knees to her chest and tried to calm herself down. Loki woke sleepily and licked her bare foot comfortingly.
Once she had stopped shaking she looked over at her clock. It was six am, but she didn't fancy going back to sleep. Quietly she walked into the bathroom, picking up her clothes on the way.
Having showered and dressed she made her way down into the common room. She picked up another log from the basket and set it in the grate. Then she sat herself down in the seat nearest the fire, and drew her wand, "Incendio." The log burst into flames.
She hugged a pillow to her chest as she watched the leaping flames. She always loved to watch fire, any sort of fire, from candle to bonfire; there was something infinitely soothing in the way they moved.
The first week back passed in a blur, Tanwen spending the vast majority of her time with Clem, they were sometimes joined by her Slytherin friends or Alicia. Things were awkward to begin with between her and Alicia, but eventually they managed to get along ok. It helped that Alicia spent most of her time out of lessons with her Ravenclaw friends.
Tanwen missed her other friends, but she needed to know what it would be like to be a different person; the kind of person who didn't express themselves so much like she did, because she didn't think that she liked that person very much, she had caused too much trouble.
But the thing was, that all the while she was trying to be this someone else she felt utterly lost and alone.
*****
A/N: Yes, Clem is very evil, you'll have to wait and see for what she's going to do. There are one or two other things I want to say about stuff but I can't because it'd give away too much. Oh yeah, and I know Jon Contay isn't the most original name, I did it on purpose ^__^ in fact, I'm surprised that no-one else has ever pointed that out! It's just that I love TP Jon, I think he's great, so I thought I'd create a character in honour of him *grins* although the more I wrote about him the less he was like Tortall Jon, so now he's just a little like him. *shrugs* ah well I love them both.
Anyway…next chapter 'All Fun and Games' and believe me when I say that title's totally ironic.