Chapter 7
Rin walked along the gardens absently stroking a flower in her hand. It was a beautiful blossom like all the things in Sesshoumaru's possession. It saddened Rin that Sesshoumaru had everything that money could buy and maybe a few things that it couldn't and he cherished none of it. She had a feeling that he saw them as common place, so they brought him no real joy. She knew he was immersed in a never-ending search for something, something that would satisfy him. She knew what he needed, but she wasn't sure how to give it to him.
These thoughts were the least of her problems. two months ago today, her friend Kagome had given her what she had called, "A clean bill of health." The next day Inu Yasha and his small group had left. She had been there to see them off, still very weak from her close brush with death. Sesshoumaru had been no where to be found. Rin had become very close to all of them and felt almost as if she was loosing another family. She had been tempted to take Kagome's offer and travel with them a while, but in the end she had decided to stay with Sesshoumaru for a while. It had been stupid of course, what had made her stay she would never know.
But Sesshoumaru had made no comment on her still being there when he came back from his patrol so she had become a visitor by way of stubbornness. From then on they had sustained a peculiar relationship. At first he ignored her completely, so much so that she had started to think that she had died and she was really just a ghost who had chosen to haunt this particular castle. That theory was thankfully put to rest when the fourth day of the first week tons of the most beautiful kimonos imaginable had shown up in the big bureau that sat against the wall. Rin had been afraid to touch them much less wear them and then there was the dainty bejeweled kid and cloth slippers to match. Her breath had been taken away and she had refused to even think of wearing them, since they were obviously not for her.
Then there was the maid that showed up the next day. The one that made her bed before Rin had a chance to. The one that insisted she wear at least one of the kimonos to "make the master happy." Rin had felt like the lady of the castle, and she became even more troubled. If she got used to this treatment, she would never be able to go back to the life she knew waited for her when Sesshoumaru finally got tired of her taking advantage of his hospitality. Which would be soon since she had made a royal pain of herself by bursting into his office and insisting without words but with great persistence that he teach her how to write. Rin giggled a little as she remember his expression the first time she had done so.
She was able to read him half the time now. She knew she would never fully understand him. His mask was too well practiced and too firmly in place. But that day he looked at her as if she was one step away from needing placement in a mental ward. He had final understood in between her fast moving sign language and her shoving the book at him in between silent sentences. However, it had taken him almost a week to decide whether or not to teach her. He had been surprised at how much she had already known, she knew she could feel it. And under his tutelage she could almost write like a pro. He was the best teacher, he never spoke, he never needed to and to disappoint him became his student's worst nightmare. It motivated success.
They had become somewhat close, Sesshoumaru still held so much of himself back, but sometimes he would accompany her on one of her walks within the castle walls. He had forbidden her to travel outside the castle gates, Rin who did not take kindly to orders given without adequate reasoning had disobeyed a couple of times, but only when she thought it was necessary. She was very proud of herself for accomplishing one great feat. She had gone to the village one day and had been informed by a friend she had made there that Sesshoumaru was highly appreciated by the villagers. He apparently didn't care one way or another that the villagers lived on this small portion of his land. And because all were aware that the western lands belonged to the taiyoukai no youkai ever bothered their humble village for fear of treading on Sesshoumaru's property.
The villagers actually gave gifts for allowing them to reside on his land and for the small measure of safety that his name provided. Usually Sesshoumaru disregarded these tokens of thanks. Letting the food rot and such, when Rin had questioned this her friend had laughed and told her that there was a chance he didn't know about it, seeing that all the villagers were too afraid of him to tell him. With the help of her maid, who would later be promoted to her companion, she had arranged for that gifts to be delivered. She remembered what had happened when she had gotten back within the castle walls, presenting the guards with a flower as she always did, feeling as if she had finally given something back to Sesshoumaru.
~Flashback~
She was about to enter the castle and search for him for their nightly writing lessons (she was just a tad late.) when something whooshed past her with alarming speed nearly knocking her to the ground. She grabbed for something and came up with a snowy white sleeve blood red designs adorning the edge.
Sesshoumaru turned in annoyance about to flick off the pestering body that had been fool enough to grab a hold of his sleeve when he'd been on a mission. When he saw her she glanced back at him inquiring. And Sesshoumaru glared back at her. Rin smiled and held up the flower she had reserved just for him.
"Rin where have you been?"
Rin suddenly discovered an undue interest in Sesshoumaru's armor.
"Rin."
Rin gave him a big smile, that usually worked.
"The sun is nearly down, do not go outside the castle walls again."
He turned and started back into the castle.
He paused. "Without me or an escort of my choosing."
'Hadn't he been going somewhere?'
"Oh and Rin whose scent is it I smell on you?"
Rin smiled, this is the opportunity she had been waiting for to explain about her earlier accomplishment.
Rin signed some words.
"A friend? He is male."
Rin nodded and started to sign more, but Sesshoumaru had turned around again and this time he didn't pause.
"You're not to see him again. Don't disobey me."
Rin wondered if she could take those gifts back. He didn't deserve them.
~End Flashback~
The situation seemed funny to her now but at the time she had been furious.
Rin tucked the flower in her hair. Her back was burning again. She knew why, while she was ridden with fever she had many memories come back to her. Ones she had remembered when she had regained consciousness. This past month she had been ignoring the facts that her memories had presented to her, not feeling that she was ready for them. Also she knew that this could mean the end of her time her with Sesshoumaru.
That no longer concerned her. She already knew she had to get as far away from Sesshoumaru as possible. Rin smiled, She had been stupid. Not only had she gotten too used to her temporary luxuries, she had the done the ultimate in stupid things, she had fallen in love with her rescuer. Rin chuckled sadly it seemed so cliché, but he had rescued her in so many ways. Rin's eyes teared up and she threw the flower down, she turned her face to the wind hoping it would blow away the salty drops. He was killing her with his indifference.
Rin glanced around to make sure Sesshoumaru or her companion wasn't around. She was on a mission. If she was going to do this, then she would go all the way, no holding back. She began a slow walk toward the castle gates.
*******************************
Sesshoumaru watched the girl name Rin as she stared at nothing. He was in a position he had never been in before. He didn't know what to do. He had always had a plan for everything, ten steps ahead of his friends and foes. This was completely foreign to him.
His behavior over the past two months had shocked him. He . . . cared for this human/not so human girl. More than he ever should have cared for anyone. Where had his plan gone wrong. He had planned not to care for anyone after his mother's death and his father's betrayal.
He had known for some time now that something was wrong. When he began thinking about the girl as a prisoner. She was unaware that she was a prisoner, and that was the way he wished to keep it. For awhile he had convinced himself that she still had not revealed her true self, thus his fascination with her. But fascination had slowly turned into a kind of need. He had agreed to teach her how to write, because he found that he need a daily dose of her spirit.
Sesshoumaru growled.
This was ludicrous.
What was even worse is that he had been terrorizing his loyal staff, good youkai, for he couldn't surround himself with idiots, Jaken was bad enough. They were all, even at this moment wondering what they had done wrong, walking on egg shells around him and giving him wide berth. All because that idiotic female decided she didn't want to stay here anymore. What more did she wish for. He had given her more than she would see in a lifetime. He didn't understand what she wanted from him. He had seen her looks at the castle walls, he had watched the color leave her body and her appetite(usually so abundant, wane). She was just a shell of herself. He didn't think it was the same illness, this sickness seemed so much different, her body didn't smell of sickness, it retained it's normal hypnotic scent. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes briefly, his subconscious not needing much help conjuring the scent that followed him even in his sleep. Especially last night when she had crawled in his bed, assuming he was asleep. It had been early morning so he had known she was having trouble sleeping. When he had awaken from a sleep so deep he thought he was incapable of having such rest, she had been gone. He wondered if the friend she had talked about was the reason for her leaving.
Sesshoumaru's crimson eyes snapped open. He'd find the filthy baka and . . . The window frame under his hand melted away. But Sesshoumaru was no longer interested in his train of thought. Rin had disappeared from his sight. He glanced toward the gates and saw them closing.
Rin was moving fast. She didn't have long before, someone knew she was gone. And she needed to do this.
She came to the spot she had chosen, the center of all her plans was right in front of her. She gazed at the cliff. She slowly walked up to it, she stood on the tip and looked down, and down and down. 'It's too far, I can't do it, please I must do it I have to.' Every muscle, every cell, every atom in her body screamed with a yearning for an absolute freedom that she had never known and could not begin to understand unless she experienced it. She flung out her arms and flung back her head. And stayed suspended . . .
*Shh Aelan be silent. Don't speak. Whatever you do don't make a sound.*
'Mama, I'm ready to talk now. I will have freedom from all my bonds.'
Sesshoumaru cursed, he had almost taken the wrong route. Assuming Rin was trying to run away and coming to the conclusion that she would run to her 'friend' he had headed for the village. Now he tracked her scent in the other direction. He had finally come to an area where her scent was stronger which meant either she was extremely close by or that she had lingered here, not too long ago. Sesshoumaru looked and through a pair of bushes saw a flash of red cloth much like what Rin had been wearing . He pushed past the bushes and watched as Rin fell face forward into the canyon.
Rin . . . NO!
Rin walked along the gardens absently stroking a flower in her hand. It was a beautiful blossom like all the things in Sesshoumaru's possession. It saddened Rin that Sesshoumaru had everything that money could buy and maybe a few things that it couldn't and he cherished none of it. She had a feeling that he saw them as common place, so they brought him no real joy. She knew he was immersed in a never-ending search for something, something that would satisfy him. She knew what he needed, but she wasn't sure how to give it to him.
These thoughts were the least of her problems. two months ago today, her friend Kagome had given her what she had called, "A clean bill of health." The next day Inu Yasha and his small group had left. She had been there to see them off, still very weak from her close brush with death. Sesshoumaru had been no where to be found. Rin had become very close to all of them and felt almost as if she was loosing another family. She had been tempted to take Kagome's offer and travel with them a while, but in the end she had decided to stay with Sesshoumaru for a while. It had been stupid of course, what had made her stay she would never know.
But Sesshoumaru had made no comment on her still being there when he came back from his patrol so she had become a visitor by way of stubbornness. From then on they had sustained a peculiar relationship. At first he ignored her completely, so much so that she had started to think that she had died and she was really just a ghost who had chosen to haunt this particular castle. That theory was thankfully put to rest when the fourth day of the first week tons of the most beautiful kimonos imaginable had shown up in the big bureau that sat against the wall. Rin had been afraid to touch them much less wear them and then there was the dainty bejeweled kid and cloth slippers to match. Her breath had been taken away and she had refused to even think of wearing them, since they were obviously not for her.
Then there was the maid that showed up the next day. The one that made her bed before Rin had a chance to. The one that insisted she wear at least one of the kimonos to "make the master happy." Rin had felt like the lady of the castle, and she became even more troubled. If she got used to this treatment, she would never be able to go back to the life she knew waited for her when Sesshoumaru finally got tired of her taking advantage of his hospitality. Which would be soon since she had made a royal pain of herself by bursting into his office and insisting without words but with great persistence that he teach her how to write. Rin giggled a little as she remember his expression the first time she had done so.
She was able to read him half the time now. She knew she would never fully understand him. His mask was too well practiced and too firmly in place. But that day he looked at her as if she was one step away from needing placement in a mental ward. He had final understood in between her fast moving sign language and her shoving the book at him in between silent sentences. However, it had taken him almost a week to decide whether or not to teach her. He had been surprised at how much she had already known, she knew she could feel it. And under his tutelage she could almost write like a pro. He was the best teacher, he never spoke, he never needed to and to disappoint him became his student's worst nightmare. It motivated success.
They had become somewhat close, Sesshoumaru still held so much of himself back, but sometimes he would accompany her on one of her walks within the castle walls. He had forbidden her to travel outside the castle gates, Rin who did not take kindly to orders given without adequate reasoning had disobeyed a couple of times, but only when she thought it was necessary. She was very proud of herself for accomplishing one great feat. She had gone to the village one day and had been informed by a friend she had made there that Sesshoumaru was highly appreciated by the villagers. He apparently didn't care one way or another that the villagers lived on this small portion of his land. And because all were aware that the western lands belonged to the taiyoukai no youkai ever bothered their humble village for fear of treading on Sesshoumaru's property.
The villagers actually gave gifts for allowing them to reside on his land and for the small measure of safety that his name provided. Usually Sesshoumaru disregarded these tokens of thanks. Letting the food rot and such, when Rin had questioned this her friend had laughed and told her that there was a chance he didn't know about it, seeing that all the villagers were too afraid of him to tell him. With the help of her maid, who would later be promoted to her companion, she had arranged for that gifts to be delivered. She remembered what had happened when she had gotten back within the castle walls, presenting the guards with a flower as she always did, feeling as if she had finally given something back to Sesshoumaru.
~Flashback~
She was about to enter the castle and search for him for their nightly writing lessons (she was just a tad late.) when something whooshed past her with alarming speed nearly knocking her to the ground. She grabbed for something and came up with a snowy white sleeve blood red designs adorning the edge.
Sesshoumaru turned in annoyance about to flick off the pestering body that had been fool enough to grab a hold of his sleeve when he'd been on a mission. When he saw her she glanced back at him inquiring. And Sesshoumaru glared back at her. Rin smiled and held up the flower she had reserved just for him.
"Rin where have you been?"
Rin suddenly discovered an undue interest in Sesshoumaru's armor.
"Rin."
Rin gave him a big smile, that usually worked.
"The sun is nearly down, do not go outside the castle walls again."
He turned and started back into the castle.
He paused. "Without me or an escort of my choosing."
'Hadn't he been going somewhere?'
"Oh and Rin whose scent is it I smell on you?"
Rin smiled, this is the opportunity she had been waiting for to explain about her earlier accomplishment.
Rin signed some words.
"A friend? He is male."
Rin nodded and started to sign more, but Sesshoumaru had turned around again and this time he didn't pause.
"You're not to see him again. Don't disobey me."
Rin wondered if she could take those gifts back. He didn't deserve them.
~End Flashback~
The situation seemed funny to her now but at the time she had been furious.
Rin tucked the flower in her hair. Her back was burning again. She knew why, while she was ridden with fever she had many memories come back to her. Ones she had remembered when she had regained consciousness. This past month she had been ignoring the facts that her memories had presented to her, not feeling that she was ready for them. Also she knew that this could mean the end of her time her with Sesshoumaru.
That no longer concerned her. She already knew she had to get as far away from Sesshoumaru as possible. Rin smiled, She had been stupid. Not only had she gotten too used to her temporary luxuries, she had the done the ultimate in stupid things, she had fallen in love with her rescuer. Rin chuckled sadly it seemed so cliché, but he had rescued her in so many ways. Rin's eyes teared up and she threw the flower down, she turned her face to the wind hoping it would blow away the salty drops. He was killing her with his indifference.
Rin glanced around to make sure Sesshoumaru or her companion wasn't around. She was on a mission. If she was going to do this, then she would go all the way, no holding back. She began a slow walk toward the castle gates.
*******************************
Sesshoumaru watched the girl name Rin as she stared at nothing. He was in a position he had never been in before. He didn't know what to do. He had always had a plan for everything, ten steps ahead of his friends and foes. This was completely foreign to him.
His behavior over the past two months had shocked him. He . . . cared for this human/not so human girl. More than he ever should have cared for anyone. Where had his plan gone wrong. He had planned not to care for anyone after his mother's death and his father's betrayal.
He had known for some time now that something was wrong. When he began thinking about the girl as a prisoner. She was unaware that she was a prisoner, and that was the way he wished to keep it. For awhile he had convinced himself that she still had not revealed her true self, thus his fascination with her. But fascination had slowly turned into a kind of need. He had agreed to teach her how to write, because he found that he need a daily dose of her spirit.
Sesshoumaru growled.
This was ludicrous.
What was even worse is that he had been terrorizing his loyal staff, good youkai, for he couldn't surround himself with idiots, Jaken was bad enough. They were all, even at this moment wondering what they had done wrong, walking on egg shells around him and giving him wide berth. All because that idiotic female decided she didn't want to stay here anymore. What more did she wish for. He had given her more than she would see in a lifetime. He didn't understand what she wanted from him. He had seen her looks at the castle walls, he had watched the color leave her body and her appetite(usually so abundant, wane). She was just a shell of herself. He didn't think it was the same illness, this sickness seemed so much different, her body didn't smell of sickness, it retained it's normal hypnotic scent. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes briefly, his subconscious not needing much help conjuring the scent that followed him even in his sleep. Especially last night when she had crawled in his bed, assuming he was asleep. It had been early morning so he had known she was having trouble sleeping. When he had awaken from a sleep so deep he thought he was incapable of having such rest, she had been gone. He wondered if the friend she had talked about was the reason for her leaving.
Sesshoumaru's crimson eyes snapped open. He'd find the filthy baka and . . . The window frame under his hand melted away. But Sesshoumaru was no longer interested in his train of thought. Rin had disappeared from his sight. He glanced toward the gates and saw them closing.
Rin was moving fast. She didn't have long before, someone knew she was gone. And she needed to do this.
She came to the spot she had chosen, the center of all her plans was right in front of her. She gazed at the cliff. She slowly walked up to it, she stood on the tip and looked down, and down and down. 'It's too far, I can't do it, please I must do it I have to.' Every muscle, every cell, every atom in her body screamed with a yearning for an absolute freedom that she had never known and could not begin to understand unless she experienced it. She flung out her arms and flung back her head. And stayed suspended . . .
*Shh Aelan be silent. Don't speak. Whatever you do don't make a sound.*
'Mama, I'm ready to talk now. I will have freedom from all my bonds.'
Sesshoumaru cursed, he had almost taken the wrong route. Assuming Rin was trying to run away and coming to the conclusion that she would run to her 'friend' he had headed for the village. Now he tracked her scent in the other direction. He had finally come to an area where her scent was stronger which meant either she was extremely close by or that she had lingered here, not too long ago. Sesshoumaru looked and through a pair of bushes saw a flash of red cloth much like what Rin had been wearing . He pushed past the bushes and watched as Rin fell face forward into the canyon.
Rin . . . NO!