KAKASHI OUTTAKES
new scenes in CAPS
CASTING...
Director (in his office): We need a guy whom all the ladies will swoon for. I mean, face it. Zabuza, Gaara...they were both crap! I want a single man who's not ridiculously muscular or too short.
(just then, Janitor walks by bleaching the tiles. But, instead of working, he's crouching down reading a perverted novel. He wears a face mask to protect himself from the chloroform fumes)
Director: You! Over there. What's your name?
Janitor: (seems to take awhile to notice) Me?
Director: Yeah. Come over here!
Janitor: (shuffles over. His white hair is a mess and his janitorial overalls look scruffy)
Director: (looks at his nameplate) So! You're Kakashi, eh? Well, how would you like to be a star?
Kakashi: (scratches his head) I think I'd rather read perverted novels.
Director: Perfect! Come back to this office tomorrow at 8 a.m.!
Kakashi: (shrugs. Goes back to washing the floors and reading his perverted novel)
FIRST DAY AT WORK...
Director: (taps his foot on the ground) He's late!
Kakashi: (shows up in a suit and tie while his hair is combed neatly and slicked DOWNWARDS) Sorry I'm late. My hair took longer to gel down than I thought...
Kurenai: Wow, that is the guy you had in mind? He's cute! What's with your face mask, though?
Kakashi: (through his surgical mask) I caught a cold. (sneezes, and hair pops back up again, like ping!)
Kurenai: (holds a hand to her breasts) Oh! Very impressive....mmmm... (yes, that was meant to be dirty!)
Director: ahem If you two are done chit-chatting....
KAKASHI AND THE PUDDLE – TAKE 1
Kakashi's Team: (are on their way to the Nation of Waves. Are on the pathway with the unusual puddle on it)
Kakashi: (stops and looks at the puddle. Then whips out a mop and starts mopping it up)
Director: What are you doing to our puddle? That's the setup for the next scene!
Kakashi: Sorry. Bad habit.
KAKASHI AND THE PUDDLE – TAKE 2
Kakashi: (walks on past the puddle like nothing happened.... Then runs back and starts vigorously mopping)
Director: Stop! Stop it! Nooooo....!
Kakashi: Phew! I thought I'd explode....
KAKASHI VS. ZABUZA, 1ST FIGHT
Director: So, you guys are just supposed to be mirror images of one another, all right? Kakashi is using his Sharingan to copy your moves.
Zabuza: Well, all right. Simple enough! (even though he doesn't get it)
Kakashi: (nods sagely. Doesn't get it either)
Director: And...action!
Zabuza: (puts one hand to his lips and raises an arm above his head)
Kakashi: (whips off his mask and starts doing the cha-cha)
Zabuza: :::oh, right. I'm supposed to be copying him!::: (does the cha-cha too)
Director: This will be a VERY long day....
KAKASHI VS. ZABUZA, IN THE BUBBLE
Kakashi: (is trapped in Zabuza's bubble. Why does that sound...wrong? Whips out a perverted novel from his back pocket and starts reading)
Zabuza: (looks over his shoulder) That's some good shit you got right there.
Kakashi: Huh? Oh. Aren't you supposed to be fighting?
Zabuza: Ah, my shadow self will keep your kids occupied for the next couple hours. Hey, can I read?
Kakashi: Sure. (passes the book up to Zabuza...but it won't pass through the bubble)
Zabuza: Haw, damn.
DINNER AT TAZUNA'S
Narato: burp That was good! Uh...Kakashi-sensei?
Kakashi: What?
Sakura: ...How did you eat with your mask on?
Everyone: (blinks at each other)
Kakashi: I did take it off. I guess you missed it.
Everyone On Set: Damn!
KAKASHI VS. ZABUZA, 2ND FIGHT
Kakashi: (readying up his lightning attack. Moves forward to attack Zabuza....)
Haku: (jumps in front of Zabuza and sacrifices himself)
Kakashi: (hand on Haku's chest) ...
Haku: What?
Kakashi: He's a boy. (feels around) Yep.
Zabuza: Damn! I lost the bet!
Haku: :::Why do I feel so molested all of a sudden?:::
DEFEAT OF GATOU'S MEN
Kakashi: (multiplies himself a hundred times)
Kakashi: Hi, I'm Kakashi. Nice to meet you.
Kakashi: Nice to meet you too. I'm Kakashi as well.
Kakashi: Me too. I like your hair.
Kakashi: Thanks.
Sasuke: Idiot.
BONUS FOOTAGE – DINNER BREAK
Kakashi: (is eating at the local Nation of Waves ramen shop...with his mask on)
Zabuza: (also with his mask on) Hey. Mind if I join you?
Kakashi: Sure. (shuffles over)
Zabuza: (sits down and nearly breaks the bench)
Naruto: Hey, watch it!
Zabuza: (slowly sticks up his middle finger) This is what I think of you.
Naruto: O.O Kakashi-sensei, Kakashi-sensei! Zabuza stuck up his middle finger at meeeee!
Kakashi: ...I'm not your sensei. I'm just a janitor....
Zabuza: You? A janitor? (scoffs) How did you land THAT gig?
Kakashi: (shrugs) I'm too stupid and lazy to do anything else.
Zabuza: Woah.... That sounds a lot like me.
Naruto: Baka.
Kakashi: Why? What did you used to do?
Zabuza: (reminisces) I used to be a male model.
Haku: (nearly chokes on his soup) That'stotallygay.
Zabuza: Shut up, hermaphrodite! So, yeah, I used to be a model.
Kakashi: So...what happened?
Everyone: (hanging onto Zabuza's word)
Zabuza: They said my package was too big.
Kakashi: (really chokes on his soup)
Zabuza: (pats Kakashi on the back and nearly sends him flying) Hey, it's okay.
Sakura: I don't get it....
Kakashi: I...see. (takes a sip from his sake) Hey, afterwards, do you want to get piss-drunk and then watch the porn channel at my place?
Zabuza: Sounds like my kind of night! (clinks glasses)
Naruto: Wow, can I come?
Kakashi & Zabuza: No.
Naruto: Baka.
TALKING ABOUT MORINO
(Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai are at the teacher's lounge while the genins are writing the chuunin exam written test)
Kakashi: (plops down on a couch)
Kurenai: (sits down RIGHT beside Kakashi and leans into his face) Tell me EVERYTHING about Morino.
Kakashi: Ah...What were my lines again?
Director: Cut! And Kurenai, do you have to sit so close?
Kurenai: Yes.
TALKING ABOUT SEX...I MEAN, MORINO
Kakashi: (is talking to Asuma about Morino)
Kurenai: (strides up and sits right on Kakashi's lap)
Kakashi: Eh....
Director: Cut! Kurenai!
Kurenai: Yes, Director?
Director: (blushes) Aw, geez, you know I don't like it when you call me that...hey!
Asuma: Kurenai.... (tries to see past to Kakashi) You're blocking my view.
TALKING ABOUT...MORINO
Kakashi: (decides to stand, this time, while talking to Asuma)
Kurenai: (walks up to Kakashi and stands right behind him)
Kakashi: (can feel two bumps against his back) Eh....
Director: Kurenai!
Kurenai: But they're always leaving me out of the conversation!
TALKING ABOUT...SEXY MORINO
Kurenai: (strides in) Hey! Where'd Kakashi go?
Iruka: He had to go on a washroom break. I'm filling in!
Kurenai: (walks right up to the bathroom and lets herself in)
Asuma & Iruka: ...
Kurenai: (rushes out) Damn! He turned himself into a log! Now, I got splinters all over me!
Asuma: No commento....
TALKING ABOUT...WHO'S MORINO?
Kakashi: (is sitting on a couch beside Asuma while Iruka is sitting across from them)
Kurenai: (strides in. Immediately starts attacking Iruka and raining him with kisses)
Kakashi: (poofs back into Iruka) How did you know it wasn't me?
Iruka: (poofs back to Kakashi) Eh....
Kurenai: Are you kidding me? Iruka's not even in this scene! I'm not a jounin for nothing you know!
Asuma: Oh, so you finally noticed.
TALKING ABOUT MORINO, DAMMIT! MORINO!
Kurenai: (strides in. Sees Iruka and Asuma sitting there) Okay. Which one of you is Kakashi?
Iruka: It's really us. Kakashi says he quit.
Asuma: Yay. Now you'll have to talk to US!
Kurenai: In your dreams. (starts looking for Kakashi, who's trying to hide behind a potted plant)
TALKING ABOUT SEX. LET'S JUST FACE IT.
Kurenai: (walks in...and sees two Asuma's sitting there) Huh?
Asuma 1: Haha, got you this time.
Asuma 2: The director said you wasn't talking to me enough, so now you got two of us.
Kurenai: ...Is ONE of you Kakashi?
Asuma 2: Not telling.
Kurenai: (sighs) Fine. (casually tips over the vase on the coffee table, spilling water all over the place)
Asuma 1: (rapidly starts wiping the table top) Oh, no.
Kurenai: KAKASHI! (springs over and starts kissing Asuma 1...who stays as Asuma)
Asuma 2: (poofs back to Kakashi and starts snickering)
Kurenai: Uh? Oh, ewwww! Bleh! Bleah!
Asuma: (is hurt) What? Am I really that bad?
Kurenai: (lunges towards Kakashi and tackles him)
Director: Actually, you know, technically that means that Asuma inadvertently kissed Kakashi (amused).
Kakashi: I think I'm being raped here. Someone?
KAKASHI & SASUKE'S SEAL
(after Sasuke's 1-on-1 fight in the chuunin preliminaries, Kakashi attempts to nullify Orochimaru's seal)
Kakashi: (starts drawing little symbols all over Sasuke's body)
Sasuke: Uh...are you sure you know what you're doing? (sees a bunch of smiley- faces and flower doodles)
Kakashi: Mmm. Trust me.
Sasuke: Wait...wasn't that a swear word?
Kakashi: Look. Am I the jounin or are you?
Sasuke: Grrrr....
Kakashi: Okay. Are you ready? (makes Sasuke sit in the middle of the floor where he drew a big happy face made of chalk. Places a hand on Sasuke's neck) Super Duper Happy Seal!!
(a poof of colourful sparkles)
Sasuke: cough cough What did you do?! (his neck now has an EXTRA HEART SHAPE surrounding the Orochimaru mark)
Kakashi: This is the mark of Sailormoon. Now, whenever Orochimaru attempts to take over, all you have to yell is "Moon Power!" and the power of love will eliminate all evil.
Sasuke: (frowns) L...love?
Orochimaru: Did someone call my name?
Kakashi: Do it!
Sasuke: Uh...Moon Power? (goes all sparkly and naked and starts floating around the room)
Orochimaru: (gets impatient) You take even longer to transform than I do!
Sasuke: Oh, what the heck. (whips off his forehead protector ever so slowly and throws it like a Frisbee towards Orochimaru)
Orochimaru: (dramatically) No...noooooo!!! (gets touched ever so slightly by the forehead protector and instantly melts into a pile of dust)
Sasuke: Wow! The power of love really works! I can FEEL it!
Kakashi: Yeah...let's not go overboard now.
BONUS FOOTAGE – PRACTICING OHAYO
Kakashi: (randomly poofs into existence) Ohayo!
Temari: Eeeeeeeek!!
Kakashi: Sorry. Am I interrupting a very intimate moment here?
Gaara: Yes. What's up?
Temari: Gaaraaaaaa!
Kakashi: You guys were really good. Do you think you can do this scene? (flips to a VERY dog-eared page of his perverted novel.)
Gaara: Sure. That's a cinch. Temari!
Temari: You guys are both freaks!
BONUS FOOTAGE
Kakashi: (poofs into existence) Ohayo!
Zabuza: !!!
Kakashi: !!!!
Zabuza: ahem Well, as a model, waxing is---
Kakashi: You DO have a big package. O.O
BONUS FOOTAGE
Kakashi: (poofs into existence) OhayooooOOOOooo!
Kurenai: (is naked in her shower) Let's have sex.
Kakashi: Eh... (stops to think about it...like he even has to think!) ....No thanks. I think I'd rather read about it in instead.
Kurenai: Darn it!
new scenes in CAPS
CASTING...
Director (in his office): We need a guy whom all the ladies will swoon for. I mean, face it. Zabuza, Gaara...they were both crap! I want a single man who's not ridiculously muscular or too short.
(just then, Janitor walks by bleaching the tiles. But, instead of working, he's crouching down reading a perverted novel. He wears a face mask to protect himself from the chloroform fumes)
Director: You! Over there. What's your name?
Janitor: (seems to take awhile to notice) Me?
Director: Yeah. Come over here!
Janitor: (shuffles over. His white hair is a mess and his janitorial overalls look scruffy)
Director: (looks at his nameplate) So! You're Kakashi, eh? Well, how would you like to be a star?
Kakashi: (scratches his head) I think I'd rather read perverted novels.
Director: Perfect! Come back to this office tomorrow at 8 a.m.!
Kakashi: (shrugs. Goes back to washing the floors and reading his perverted novel)
FIRST DAY AT WORK...
Director: (taps his foot on the ground) He's late!
Kakashi: (shows up in a suit and tie while his hair is combed neatly and slicked DOWNWARDS) Sorry I'm late. My hair took longer to gel down than I thought...
Kurenai: Wow, that is the guy you had in mind? He's cute! What's with your face mask, though?
Kakashi: (through his surgical mask) I caught a cold. (sneezes, and hair pops back up again, like ping!)
Kurenai: (holds a hand to her breasts) Oh! Very impressive....mmmm... (yes, that was meant to be dirty!)
Director: ahem If you two are done chit-chatting....
KAKASHI AND THE PUDDLE – TAKE 1
Kakashi's Team: (are on their way to the Nation of Waves. Are on the pathway with the unusual puddle on it)
Kakashi: (stops and looks at the puddle. Then whips out a mop and starts mopping it up)
Director: What are you doing to our puddle? That's the setup for the next scene!
Kakashi: Sorry. Bad habit.
KAKASHI AND THE PUDDLE – TAKE 2
Kakashi: (walks on past the puddle like nothing happened.... Then runs back and starts vigorously mopping)
Director: Stop! Stop it! Nooooo....!
Kakashi: Phew! I thought I'd explode....
KAKASHI VS. ZABUZA, 1ST FIGHT
Director: So, you guys are just supposed to be mirror images of one another, all right? Kakashi is using his Sharingan to copy your moves.
Zabuza: Well, all right. Simple enough! (even though he doesn't get it)
Kakashi: (nods sagely. Doesn't get it either)
Director: And...action!
Zabuza: (puts one hand to his lips and raises an arm above his head)
Kakashi: (whips off his mask and starts doing the cha-cha)
Zabuza: :::oh, right. I'm supposed to be copying him!::: (does the cha-cha too)
Director: This will be a VERY long day....
KAKASHI VS. ZABUZA, IN THE BUBBLE
Kakashi: (is trapped in Zabuza's bubble. Why does that sound...wrong? Whips out a perverted novel from his back pocket and starts reading)
Zabuza: (looks over his shoulder) That's some good shit you got right there.
Kakashi: Huh? Oh. Aren't you supposed to be fighting?
Zabuza: Ah, my shadow self will keep your kids occupied for the next couple hours. Hey, can I read?
Kakashi: Sure. (passes the book up to Zabuza...but it won't pass through the bubble)
Zabuza: Haw, damn.
DINNER AT TAZUNA'S
Narato: burp That was good! Uh...Kakashi-sensei?
Kakashi: What?
Sakura: ...How did you eat with your mask on?
Everyone: (blinks at each other)
Kakashi: I did take it off. I guess you missed it.
Everyone On Set: Damn!
KAKASHI VS. ZABUZA, 2ND FIGHT
Kakashi: (readying up his lightning attack. Moves forward to attack Zabuza....)
Haku: (jumps in front of Zabuza and sacrifices himself)
Kakashi: (hand on Haku's chest) ...
Haku: What?
Kakashi: He's a boy. (feels around) Yep.
Zabuza: Damn! I lost the bet!
Haku: :::Why do I feel so molested all of a sudden?:::
DEFEAT OF GATOU'S MEN
Kakashi: (multiplies himself a hundred times)
Kakashi: Hi, I'm Kakashi. Nice to meet you.
Kakashi: Nice to meet you too. I'm Kakashi as well.
Kakashi: Me too. I like your hair.
Kakashi: Thanks.
Sasuke: Idiot.
BONUS FOOTAGE – DINNER BREAK
Kakashi: (is eating at the local Nation of Waves ramen shop...with his mask on)
Zabuza: (also with his mask on) Hey. Mind if I join you?
Kakashi: Sure. (shuffles over)
Zabuza: (sits down and nearly breaks the bench)
Naruto: Hey, watch it!
Zabuza: (slowly sticks up his middle finger) This is what I think of you.
Naruto: O.O Kakashi-sensei, Kakashi-sensei! Zabuza stuck up his middle finger at meeeee!
Kakashi: ...I'm not your sensei. I'm just a janitor....
Zabuza: You? A janitor? (scoffs) How did you land THAT gig?
Kakashi: (shrugs) I'm too stupid and lazy to do anything else.
Zabuza: Woah.... That sounds a lot like me.
Naruto: Baka.
Kakashi: Why? What did you used to do?
Zabuza: (reminisces) I used to be a male model.
Haku: (nearly chokes on his soup) That'stotallygay.
Zabuza: Shut up, hermaphrodite! So, yeah, I used to be a model.
Kakashi: So...what happened?
Everyone: (hanging onto Zabuza's word)
Zabuza: They said my package was too big.
Kakashi: (really chokes on his soup)
Zabuza: (pats Kakashi on the back and nearly sends him flying) Hey, it's okay.
Sakura: I don't get it....
Kakashi: I...see. (takes a sip from his sake) Hey, afterwards, do you want to get piss-drunk and then watch the porn channel at my place?
Zabuza: Sounds like my kind of night! (clinks glasses)
Naruto: Wow, can I come?
Kakashi & Zabuza: No.
Naruto: Baka.
TALKING ABOUT MORINO
(Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai are at the teacher's lounge while the genins are writing the chuunin exam written test)
Kakashi: (plops down on a couch)
Kurenai: (sits down RIGHT beside Kakashi and leans into his face) Tell me EVERYTHING about Morino.
Kakashi: Ah...What were my lines again?
Director: Cut! And Kurenai, do you have to sit so close?
Kurenai: Yes.
TALKING ABOUT SEX...I MEAN, MORINO
Kakashi: (is talking to Asuma about Morino)
Kurenai: (strides up and sits right on Kakashi's lap)
Kakashi: Eh....
Director: Cut! Kurenai!
Kurenai: Yes, Director?
Director: (blushes) Aw, geez, you know I don't like it when you call me that...hey!
Asuma: Kurenai.... (tries to see past to Kakashi) You're blocking my view.
TALKING ABOUT...MORINO
Kakashi: (decides to stand, this time, while talking to Asuma)
Kurenai: (walks up to Kakashi and stands right behind him)
Kakashi: (can feel two bumps against his back) Eh....
Director: Kurenai!
Kurenai: But they're always leaving me out of the conversation!
TALKING ABOUT...SEXY MORINO
Kurenai: (strides in) Hey! Where'd Kakashi go?
Iruka: He had to go on a washroom break. I'm filling in!
Kurenai: (walks right up to the bathroom and lets herself in)
Asuma & Iruka: ...
Kurenai: (rushes out) Damn! He turned himself into a log! Now, I got splinters all over me!
Asuma: No commento....
TALKING ABOUT...WHO'S MORINO?
Kakashi: (is sitting on a couch beside Asuma while Iruka is sitting across from them)
Kurenai: (strides in. Immediately starts attacking Iruka and raining him with kisses)
Kakashi: (poofs back into Iruka) How did you know it wasn't me?
Iruka: (poofs back to Kakashi) Eh....
Kurenai: Are you kidding me? Iruka's not even in this scene! I'm not a jounin for nothing you know!
Asuma: Oh, so you finally noticed.
TALKING ABOUT MORINO, DAMMIT! MORINO!
Kurenai: (strides in. Sees Iruka and Asuma sitting there) Okay. Which one of you is Kakashi?
Iruka: It's really us. Kakashi says he quit.
Asuma: Yay. Now you'll have to talk to US!
Kurenai: In your dreams. (starts looking for Kakashi, who's trying to hide behind a potted plant)
TALKING ABOUT SEX. LET'S JUST FACE IT.
Kurenai: (walks in...and sees two Asuma's sitting there) Huh?
Asuma 1: Haha, got you this time.
Asuma 2: The director said you wasn't talking to me enough, so now you got two of us.
Kurenai: ...Is ONE of you Kakashi?
Asuma 2: Not telling.
Kurenai: (sighs) Fine. (casually tips over the vase on the coffee table, spilling water all over the place)
Asuma 1: (rapidly starts wiping the table top) Oh, no.
Kurenai: KAKASHI! (springs over and starts kissing Asuma 1...who stays as Asuma)
Asuma 2: (poofs back to Kakashi and starts snickering)
Kurenai: Uh? Oh, ewwww! Bleh! Bleah!
Asuma: (is hurt) What? Am I really that bad?
Kurenai: (lunges towards Kakashi and tackles him)
Director: Actually, you know, technically that means that Asuma inadvertently kissed Kakashi (amused).
Kakashi: I think I'm being raped here. Someone?
KAKASHI & SASUKE'S SEAL
(after Sasuke's 1-on-1 fight in the chuunin preliminaries, Kakashi attempts to nullify Orochimaru's seal)
Kakashi: (starts drawing little symbols all over Sasuke's body)
Sasuke: Uh...are you sure you know what you're doing? (sees a bunch of smiley- faces and flower doodles)
Kakashi: Mmm. Trust me.
Sasuke: Wait...wasn't that a swear word?
Kakashi: Look. Am I the jounin or are you?
Sasuke: Grrrr....
Kakashi: Okay. Are you ready? (makes Sasuke sit in the middle of the floor where he drew a big happy face made of chalk. Places a hand on Sasuke's neck) Super Duper Happy Seal!!
(a poof of colourful sparkles)
Sasuke: cough cough What did you do?! (his neck now has an EXTRA HEART SHAPE surrounding the Orochimaru mark)
Kakashi: This is the mark of Sailormoon. Now, whenever Orochimaru attempts to take over, all you have to yell is "Moon Power!" and the power of love will eliminate all evil.
Sasuke: (frowns) L...love?
Orochimaru: Did someone call my name?
Kakashi: Do it!
Sasuke: Uh...Moon Power? (goes all sparkly and naked and starts floating around the room)
Orochimaru: (gets impatient) You take even longer to transform than I do!
Sasuke: Oh, what the heck. (whips off his forehead protector ever so slowly and throws it like a Frisbee towards Orochimaru)
Orochimaru: (dramatically) No...noooooo!!! (gets touched ever so slightly by the forehead protector and instantly melts into a pile of dust)
Sasuke: Wow! The power of love really works! I can FEEL it!
Kakashi: Yeah...let's not go overboard now.
BONUS FOOTAGE – PRACTICING OHAYO
Kakashi: (randomly poofs into existence) Ohayo!
Temari: Eeeeeeeek!!
Kakashi: Sorry. Am I interrupting a very intimate moment here?
Gaara: Yes. What's up?
Temari: Gaaraaaaaa!
Kakashi: You guys were really good. Do you think you can do this scene? (flips to a VERY dog-eared page of his perverted novel.)
Gaara: Sure. That's a cinch. Temari!
Temari: You guys are both freaks!
BONUS FOOTAGE
Kakashi: (poofs into existence) Ohayo!
Zabuza: !!!
Kakashi: !!!!
Zabuza: ahem Well, as a model, waxing is---
Kakashi: You DO have a big package. O.O
BONUS FOOTAGE
Kakashi: (poofs into existence) OhayooooOOOOooo!
Kurenai: (is naked in her shower) Let's have sex.
Kakashi: Eh... (stops to think about it...like he even has to think!) ....No thanks. I think I'd rather read about it in instead.
Kurenai: Darn it!