Then To Live As a Woman
The Second Day: Other Viewpoints
A Love Hina Fanfic
Tim Williams (ffml_tim@yahoo.com or fireangel37@yahoo.com)
All characters and settings are copyright Ken Akamatsu, and others.
Divergence from manga #74 (Volume 9) or anime episode 25. Fairly
spoiler-ridden if you haven't seen or read that far, but not too badly
so. This part follows TTLAaW: The Second Day and contains viewpoints
other than Motoko's. Keitaro's views appear in both stories, since his
roll in the other is relatively minor. This chapter could actually be
merged with the first part of The Second Day, if so desired, but I'll
leave it separate for now.
I expect at least some hate mail about this one ;) You will see why.
+++
Outside, the landscape between Tokyo and Kyoto slowly slid past the
train. Though Naru had taken the trip just the week before, it still
drew her attention and kept her from having to converse with anyone.
//Why am I doing this?// she wondered for perhaps the tenth time. She
glanced at her traveling companion and sighed. //She's grown up so
much... I guess I don't have to watch over her if I don't want to./
Somewhere deep inside, though, she felt that she needed to be on this
trip for her own sake as well as Shinobu's. Otherwise, she would have
tried harder to convince the younger girl not to make her "voyage of
healing". She grinned humorlessly at the thought. //I took one of
these a bit over a year ago, though that jerk had to follow me...//
Grumbling, she banished thoughts of Keitaro from her mind. Whatever had
been between them was gone now. It had to be. //If I had only told
him... but I didn't. And now it's too late.// She grimaced. //Motoko
seems okay with it, so I have to be okay with it, too.//
The armrest of the seat creaked alarmingly, and she realized she had
almost ripped it apart, so tightly was she gripping it. She let go and
shook her hand which decided to cramp after the effort. With some
effort, she managed to relax a little. //I should be back in Hinata...
I still have to worry about classes.// She glanced at the other girl.
//Of course, so does she.//
Naru had been making herself scarce around the Hinatasou ever since the
wedding. She couldn't really yell at Keitaro for it, since it was her
own fault as much as his. If she'd declared her feelings, as murky as
they were, he might not have agreed to play along with Motoko's ruse in
the first place. Well, probably not. He had a way of getting drawn
into damaging scenarios through no real fault of his own.
In any case, there was nothing that could be done about it. She had
known Motoko for years and didn't want to so something to hurt her.
Motoko hadn't meant to steal "her man" as it were. At least, she didn't
think it had been her intention. The girl had put on so many different
personalities in the last few days that Naru was beginning to wonder if
there hadn't been something between then before the fight, buried deep
down. Maybe she had subconsciously thrown the fight... //No, not
Motoko.//
As much as she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to pound Keitaro.
It would certainly make her feel better, but it wasn't her place to
administer a beating to him anymore. If he needed it, that would fall
to his wife, and intruding would be rude, if not outright insulting.
Certainly, she was too upset about the whole ordeal to let it go and act
like nothing had happened, so that left only a policy of strict
avoidance.
She could understand exactly what Shinobu was going through, though it
was probably more like her experience with Seta than her experience with
Keitaro. In either case, she had known the younger girl's feelings
almost from the onset. It hadn't stopped her from engaging in the
bizarre courtship she had shared with Keitaro, but she had known and
tried to minimize the damage.
Now, however, it was too late to minimize anything. The only thing left
was cleanup.
At first, she had both thought Keitaro and Motoko would wake up and just
get the marriage annulled or something, but the day after the wedding
when she'd come home, Naru had actually seen them smiling at each other.
That's when she knew that whatever was going on wasn't likely to just
fix itself. Unless she wanted to actively attempt to break up her
friends' marriage, she had no choice but to accept it.
Shinobu had realized much the same thing, of course, and had wanted to
leave the Hinatasou completely and go back live with her parents.
Knowing that Shinobu's family situation was not something she wanted to
return to, Naru had finally convinced her to stay, but the girl still
wanted to get away from the "happy couple" for a while and forget about
her heartbreak. Well, she didn't say so in so many words, but Naru was
feeling much the same way and could read between the lines.
Which is why Naru wasn't at all surprised to find Shinobu sneaking out
of the Hinatasou early Saturday morning with a traveling pack on her
back. Almost on impulse, Naru convinced her to wait long enough for her
to gather some of her won things and accompany her. After her last
travel fiasco, Shinobu seemed more than happy to have someone along for
the ride, though she was a little surprised that Naru was offering.
Naru, for her part, wasn't convinced that she was doing something even
remotely sane, but there seemed little point to staying in Tokyo. She
certainly hadn't been able to concentrate on her studies the day before,
and the outlook for the next week didn't seem much better.
//Besides,// she told herself. //I have to watch out for the heart of a
young maiden.// Some fragment of her mind softly added, //Do you mean
Shinobu or yourself?// She pushed it aside. Her own heartbreak wasn't
something she was denying. It just wasn't something she wanted to
linger on.
At least, she thought it was heartbreak. She hadn't been sure what she
felt for Keitaro before the wedding and what she felt now was even more
confusing. On one hand, she had felt a certain thrill when he'd told
her he loved her, but she didn't want to ruin one of the best
friendships she had ever had. On the other hand, with the wedding
fiasco, she wasn't sure if he still felt the way he had claimed, or if
he had ever felt that way. It was all very confusing.
Sighing, she sat back in her seat. //This is supposed to be a trip of
healing, not of mopping about and regretting reality.//
She looked at Shinobu and, when the other girl noticed her gaze, gave
her a friendly smile. Before Keitaro had come to the Hinatasou, the
girl had looked up to her as something of a big sister, though it was a
relationship which had faded quite a bit in the intervening time. Naru
wasn't sure she even resembled the idealistic high school student she'd
been two years before, and Shinobu definitely didn't act like the meek
and uncertain child who had first come to the Hinatasou.
They'd found a common bond in family troubles and grown into fast
friends. Of course, the only "normal" girls living in the Hinatasou
were her, Naru, and Kitsune. Motoko and Su had been there a while, as
well, but neither of them really fit the mold of a normal girl. Of
course, Kitsune had her idiosyncrasies as well, but she was still much
more normal than the other two girls.
Shinobu returned the smile, though it was clear there was a lot on her
mind. The two just watched each other for several seconds before
Shinobu finally broke the silence. "Thank you for coming along. I
haven't had the best luck with travel in the past."
Naru nodded, having gleaned the details of Shinobu's cross-country tour
with Su the year before. She offered a reassuring grin. "Me either,
really... but I was in Kyoto just last week, so I think I remember how
to get there." She fell silent for a few minutes, but decided now was
as good a time as any to ask the question which had been bugging her
since that morning. "Why Kyoto, though?"
"I..." Shinobu trailed off, and spent a moment looking through the
windows on the far side of the train before answering. "I don't know,
exactly. Maybe... Maybe we can visit Tsuruko and find out what this is
all really about. Maybe it's all just some sort of test or
something..."
Naru shook her head sadly. "We can visit her, but I'm afraid that she
seemed as serious as Death itself about the marriage. I... I think
Keitaro went through with the whole thing as much out of fear of her as
anything else." The why of the whole marriage thing had been weighing
on her own mind, as well. Motoko did it because of the whole honor
thing and she could understand that. Keitaro, though... well, he'd
always valued his word, but that didn't stop him from breaking it on
occasion. If he really didn't want to do it, then she couldn't come up
with a reason why he would have.
That only left the obvious conclusion that he didn't not want to do it.
Or rather, he did want to do it. //Could his feelings really change so
much in just a couple of months? Did he really mean it in the first
place?// She grimaced, and Shinobu apparently noticed.
"I... Naru-senpai, I know that you l-like Keitaro," she pause, her face
showing a blush at the mention of "liking" someone, though she quite
implied love.
//So innocent... was I ever like that?// Naru wondered, but she knew the
answer. //Yes, with Seta. Though I don't think he ever even
noticed...// "Shinobu, I know you like him as well." The younger
girl's blush deepened visibly at the suggestion. "Which is why we're
going to be his friends, no matter who he is married to."
It was the decision she had finally reached with herself, and she was
fairly sure that Shinobu would agree. Naru hadn't gone beyond "friend"
with Keitaro because she was afraid of messing up their friendship by
becoming romantically involved. With that not possible, it seemed
logical that their "friend" relationship would be more secure than ever.
Of course, logic doesn't matter much in the affairs of the human heart
and with the "danger" of a relationship with Keitaro not so obvious,
other feelings had surfaced.
***
"Do you really need this many, Kitsune?" Keitaro asked, the basket in
his arms stacked precariously high with bottles of sake. She'd been
suspiciously eager to help him with the shopping and now he could see
why.
"Your wife emptied my entire stash, so it's only fair that you help me
restock." She added another bottle to the stack and it teetered
precipitously. "Besides, with Motoko for a wife, you're probably going
to need it as much as I am."
Keitaro blushed. "She's not so bad..."
//Of course she isn't,// Mitsune thought, bitterly. //Anyone would be
better than me.//
Kitsune had been amazed at how well Motoko and Keitaro were getting
along the night before and that morning. She'd been sure they were
destined for disaster after the first night, but the mysterious package
the day before seemed to have turned things around.
//He's settling down with her,// she decided. She was happy that they'd
decided not to make each other miserable, but something about it irked
her. It hadn't been a month since she'd resigned herself to watching
Keitaro be in love with someone else, but she had expected that person
to be and remain Naru. She was used to that. This was... different.
She'd as good as confessed an interest in him a month before, but
Keitaro was a little on the dense side about such things, it seemed.
She certainly wasn't going to try to force something that wasn't there,
and she knew enough to stay out of other people's relationships.
Meddling had burned her more than once in the past. Better to slip into
"Kitsune" mode and let her sensitive side sleep for a while.
//Is it crazy to be two people?// she'd always wondered. She was, in a
very real way, split. Kono Mitsune was her real self, but she'd long
ago developed another persona behind which to live. Kitsune was selfish
and lazy, mischievous and sultry. What she wasn't was lonely, which was
an emotion that Mitsune held a lot of.
Living in Naru's romantic shadow throughout high school had been bad
enough, but even afterward, it had kept on. Keitaro wasn't the first
guy she'd liked who had the hots for Naru, but he'd been one of the
best. While Mitsune might have been pining away for him, though,
Kitsune was too busy being his friend. //There are other fish in the
sea,// the fox in her said, and Mitsune did her best to believe her,
though it was getting a little ridiculous.
Of course, it would help if she ever met available men. Aside from
Keitaro, who no longer counted, the only guys she'd talked to more than
once in the last year had been Keitaro's two ronin buddies. //What were
their names again?// She honestly couldn't remember.
She'd had some hopes for Keitaro. The way Naru had been treating him
matched her usual "let them wait to be dumped" pattern, but she should
have known better. She could have had him when he was a ronin, but
almost the second his life takes a meaningful term, he's not available.
In any case, he was someone she could talk to, and with him off the
market, there wasn't much tension there of a sexual nature, which made
some things easier to talk about.
They finished the shopping and were on the way back to the Hinatasou
before they really started talking again. "Not all that bad, you say.
So she... and you..." she said with a sly smile, leaning a bit closer to
him. Keitaro was her friend, but she still enjoyed getting a rise out
of him.
"Wha... Kitsune!" Keitaro blushed and looked around to make sure that
they were relatively alone. "N-nothing like that."
She smiled, "Oh, don't worry, I'll have a word with her tonight and see
why she's holding out on you." Some part of her was thrilled when he
started sputtering and protesting. Mitsune watched Kitsune work with
amazement. Her alter-ego was certainly a mistress of chaos when she
wanted to be.
Keitaro was certainly a virgin. She didn't even need an admission to
know that. He just carried himself that way. //I should know... I've
never... done that, either,// Mitsune admitted to herself. Kitsune
certainly made her seem a "woman of experience" though it was far from
the truth.
//I'm a sham.// Mitsune accused her self.
Kitsune simply offered her a mental grin grinned and continued her
gentle ribbing of her traveling companion. //But a sham who knows how
to enjoy herself.//
***
The train terminal far behind them, Naru and Shinobu wandered the
streets of Kyoto aimlessly. Ostensibly, they were taking in the sights,
but the two of them spent most of their time drifting along, locked away
with their thoughts.
Shinobu was desperately trying to keep from thinking about Keitaro and
not succeeding. Their first meeting had involved him exposing himself
to her, lying about who he was, and generally providing most of her
"firsts" with the male sex. In a lot of ways, he was like her boyfriend
already, but in others he was like a big brother. She'd hoped that he
would come to see her as a woman. She'd even been entertaining a dream
of going to Toudai after him... but it all seemed pointless now.
She hadn't realized how much of her life and self had been built around
him until he was gone from her. Well, he wasn't gone, really. She
could still have him as a "big brother", but never as anything more.
Motoko was a lot like a big sister to her, even more than Naru, and she
couldn't bring herself to get between them. Naru had lost something of
her saintliness since Keitaro had arrived and become a rival as much as
anything else, but Motoko had always remained aloof from that. Which is
why it stung so much that she had been the one to "win".
There was more than just that behind her flight from the Hinatasou,
though. Su's method of comforting her had left her a little more than
shaken, and considerably more confused than upset. What had happened
had been... enjoyable, but it certainly wasn't what she had envisioned
for her first time. For that matter, it wasn't something she'd ever
thought she would ever try. Ever.
It had happened, though, and she hadn't fought to stop it. She'd been
upset, and it certainly helped to put things into perspective. If her
intentions hadn't been so noble, Shinobu would have felt violated, but
for some reason she didn't. Not for the first time, she wondered
exactly what country her friend was from.
"Shinobu?" Naru asked her, apparently having said something else she
missed.
"Sorry..." She traced back over what had been said to her and thought
she had it. "Yes, beefbowl is fine."
Neither of them had a positive flow of funds, and travel was expensive.
They weren't here for the cuisine, anyway. They were here to buy
themselves time to think about everything that had happened and come to
terms with it. Shinobu was finding that she had more things to come to
terms with than she'd thought.
***
Keitaro sighed as he finished putting away the shopping. Kitsune was a
good friend to talk to, but she wasn't much for helping out with chores.
Unless part of those chores entailed him purchasing a large amount of
sake for her consumption.
Not that he could necessarily complain. He'd drank his fair share of
her stash over the last few days. Married life was harder than it
looked, particularly when it entailed so many other adjustments. And
she was a great help to him, even if it were only moral support.
A glance at the time showed that there was still plenty of time to have
a drink before anyone came drifting home. He would likely need to
prepare dinner for himself, Kitsune, and Suu and a cold meal for Motoko
since she wouldn't be able to eat till late, most likely. Naru and
Shinobu had been strangely absent for the last couple of days, though it
was likely just because they were avoiding him.
He sighed and wandered off to get that drink.
***
The warm waters of the furo were not quite as invigorating as those of a
hot spring, but Naru hadn't wanted to risk another mixed bath incident
and hadn't sought out an inn with the capacity. The small inn was
certainly quaint and inexpensive, which fit their priorities fairly
well. It was also about half way between Kyoto proper and the mountain
region that held the Shinmeiryuu dojo.
Shinobu was more than a little aware of Naru's proximity in the smaller
bath. Her thoughts drifted to the night before, and she blushed far
deeper than the heat of the bath could account for. She'd never really
looked at other women in "that way" before, but the knowledge of what
she'd done and how good it had felt made those thoughts all too easy to
think.
//At least I'm not pining after Keitaro,// some part of her mind
offered. She tried to cover herself, almost subconsciously. She'd
never been embarrassed to be nude in front of another female before,
either, but that seemed to be something else that had changed. Naru
hadn't gained any modesty or concern for such exposure, though, and that
was making it even worse.
"We'll go up into the mountains to find Tsuruko tomorrow, if you still
want to," Naru was saying.
Shinobu nodded and hoped feverishly that Naru would take her nervousness
as anxiety over the whole Keitaro affair. "I-I don't know if it'll h-
help... but we can decide in the morning."
//Someone please explain to me why I spent yesterday morning crying
about a man and now I can't keep from looking at Naru's breasts...// she
asked herself. Whatever was going on, she was certain that her
confusion was only going to get worse.
***
"I think Motoko wants to... you know..."
Keitaro blushed deeply. He'd overheard Kitsune and Motoko talking in
the hot springs and knew exactly what she was currently referring to.
"N-no... she... it's too soon..."
Kitsune giggled girlishly. "Too soon? Ye're married now." She gave
him a wink. "So, do you know what to do?"
Keitaro blushed and nodded nervously. //Mostly... the important
bits...// Of course, that didn't stop Kitsune from embarrassing him
further with bits and pieces of advice gleaned from romance novels and
trashy television dramas.
***
Shinobu rested on the smooth fabric of her futon, all too aware of
Naru's presence just feet away. //What is happening to me?// she
wondered. //What if I'm really... you know...// She couldn't even
bring herself to complete the thought.
She certainly liked Naru, but she'd thought it was as a friend. Had it
really been as something else she just hadn't recognized? Had she
really been in love with Keitaro or was she just wanting to BE Keitaro?
//Su...// she thought of the foreign girl and sighed. Of all of the
complications in her life, Su was as often the source as not. Though Su
had certainly opened her eyes to something, she wasn't the source of
this new taboo fixation. //Why not?//
//If I'm thinking about someone else that way... does that mean I've
always been that way?// She shivered. Fortunately, Su hadn't attached
any huge emotional import to the act. At least, she didn't think she
had. Su was like a sister to her, which made the whole thing a bit
creepy, but apparently Su's definition of what was appropriate for
family to do for and to each other was vastly different from hers.
The rhythmic breathing coming from the nearby futon did nothing to calm
her nerves. Finally, she drifted off to a sleep filled with soft, warm
touching, though there were more feminine curves in the dream than she
would have expected.
END
Author's notes: Gee, I certainly do a lot of thoughts in these fics.
Of course, I believe that's because most of the conflict is internal.
The intention of this chapter is to show a little bit of what's going on
outside of the Keitaro/Motoko relationship though it is still very much
the center of the story. The Keitaro/Kitsune bits are thrown in to
break up the ceaseless narration of the Naru/Shinobu side.
I expect hate mail about this, by the way ;) But that's half the fun in
writing in odd relationships.
The Second Day: Other Viewpoints
A Love Hina Fanfic
Tim Williams (ffml_tim@yahoo.com or fireangel37@yahoo.com)
All characters and settings are copyright Ken Akamatsu, and others.
Divergence from manga #74 (Volume 9) or anime episode 25. Fairly
spoiler-ridden if you haven't seen or read that far, but not too badly
so. This part follows TTLAaW: The Second Day and contains viewpoints
other than Motoko's. Keitaro's views appear in both stories, since his
roll in the other is relatively minor. This chapter could actually be
merged with the first part of The Second Day, if so desired, but I'll
leave it separate for now.
I expect at least some hate mail about this one ;) You will see why.
+++
Outside, the landscape between Tokyo and Kyoto slowly slid past the
train. Though Naru had taken the trip just the week before, it still
drew her attention and kept her from having to converse with anyone.
//Why am I doing this?// she wondered for perhaps the tenth time. She
glanced at her traveling companion and sighed. //She's grown up so
much... I guess I don't have to watch over her if I don't want to./
Somewhere deep inside, though, she felt that she needed to be on this
trip for her own sake as well as Shinobu's. Otherwise, she would have
tried harder to convince the younger girl not to make her "voyage of
healing". She grinned humorlessly at the thought. //I took one of
these a bit over a year ago, though that jerk had to follow me...//
Grumbling, she banished thoughts of Keitaro from her mind. Whatever had
been between them was gone now. It had to be. //If I had only told
him... but I didn't. And now it's too late.// She grimaced. //Motoko
seems okay with it, so I have to be okay with it, too.//
The armrest of the seat creaked alarmingly, and she realized she had
almost ripped it apart, so tightly was she gripping it. She let go and
shook her hand which decided to cramp after the effort. With some
effort, she managed to relax a little. //I should be back in Hinata...
I still have to worry about classes.// She glanced at the other girl.
//Of course, so does she.//
Naru had been making herself scarce around the Hinatasou ever since the
wedding. She couldn't really yell at Keitaro for it, since it was her
own fault as much as his. If she'd declared her feelings, as murky as
they were, he might not have agreed to play along with Motoko's ruse in
the first place. Well, probably not. He had a way of getting drawn
into damaging scenarios through no real fault of his own.
In any case, there was nothing that could be done about it. She had
known Motoko for years and didn't want to so something to hurt her.
Motoko hadn't meant to steal "her man" as it were. At least, she didn't
think it had been her intention. The girl had put on so many different
personalities in the last few days that Naru was beginning to wonder if
there hadn't been something between then before the fight, buried deep
down. Maybe she had subconsciously thrown the fight... //No, not
Motoko.//
As much as she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to pound Keitaro.
It would certainly make her feel better, but it wasn't her place to
administer a beating to him anymore. If he needed it, that would fall
to his wife, and intruding would be rude, if not outright insulting.
Certainly, she was too upset about the whole ordeal to let it go and act
like nothing had happened, so that left only a policy of strict
avoidance.
She could understand exactly what Shinobu was going through, though it
was probably more like her experience with Seta than her experience with
Keitaro. In either case, she had known the younger girl's feelings
almost from the onset. It hadn't stopped her from engaging in the
bizarre courtship she had shared with Keitaro, but she had known and
tried to minimize the damage.
Now, however, it was too late to minimize anything. The only thing left
was cleanup.
At first, she had both thought Keitaro and Motoko would wake up and just
get the marriage annulled or something, but the day after the wedding
when she'd come home, Naru had actually seen them smiling at each other.
That's when she knew that whatever was going on wasn't likely to just
fix itself. Unless she wanted to actively attempt to break up her
friends' marriage, she had no choice but to accept it.
Shinobu had realized much the same thing, of course, and had wanted to
leave the Hinatasou completely and go back live with her parents.
Knowing that Shinobu's family situation was not something she wanted to
return to, Naru had finally convinced her to stay, but the girl still
wanted to get away from the "happy couple" for a while and forget about
her heartbreak. Well, she didn't say so in so many words, but Naru was
feeling much the same way and could read between the lines.
Which is why Naru wasn't at all surprised to find Shinobu sneaking out
of the Hinatasou early Saturday morning with a traveling pack on her
back. Almost on impulse, Naru convinced her to wait long enough for her
to gather some of her won things and accompany her. After her last
travel fiasco, Shinobu seemed more than happy to have someone along for
the ride, though she was a little surprised that Naru was offering.
Naru, for her part, wasn't convinced that she was doing something even
remotely sane, but there seemed little point to staying in Tokyo. She
certainly hadn't been able to concentrate on her studies the day before,
and the outlook for the next week didn't seem much better.
//Besides,// she told herself. //I have to watch out for the heart of a
young maiden.// Some fragment of her mind softly added, //Do you mean
Shinobu or yourself?// She pushed it aside. Her own heartbreak wasn't
something she was denying. It just wasn't something she wanted to
linger on.
At least, she thought it was heartbreak. She hadn't been sure what she
felt for Keitaro before the wedding and what she felt now was even more
confusing. On one hand, she had felt a certain thrill when he'd told
her he loved her, but she didn't want to ruin one of the best
friendships she had ever had. On the other hand, with the wedding
fiasco, she wasn't sure if he still felt the way he had claimed, or if
he had ever felt that way. It was all very confusing.
Sighing, she sat back in her seat. //This is supposed to be a trip of
healing, not of mopping about and regretting reality.//
She looked at Shinobu and, when the other girl noticed her gaze, gave
her a friendly smile. Before Keitaro had come to the Hinatasou, the
girl had looked up to her as something of a big sister, though it was a
relationship which had faded quite a bit in the intervening time. Naru
wasn't sure she even resembled the idealistic high school student she'd
been two years before, and Shinobu definitely didn't act like the meek
and uncertain child who had first come to the Hinatasou.
They'd found a common bond in family troubles and grown into fast
friends. Of course, the only "normal" girls living in the Hinatasou
were her, Naru, and Kitsune. Motoko and Su had been there a while, as
well, but neither of them really fit the mold of a normal girl. Of
course, Kitsune had her idiosyncrasies as well, but she was still much
more normal than the other two girls.
Shinobu returned the smile, though it was clear there was a lot on her
mind. The two just watched each other for several seconds before
Shinobu finally broke the silence. "Thank you for coming along. I
haven't had the best luck with travel in the past."
Naru nodded, having gleaned the details of Shinobu's cross-country tour
with Su the year before. She offered a reassuring grin. "Me either,
really... but I was in Kyoto just last week, so I think I remember how
to get there." She fell silent for a few minutes, but decided now was
as good a time as any to ask the question which had been bugging her
since that morning. "Why Kyoto, though?"
"I..." Shinobu trailed off, and spent a moment looking through the
windows on the far side of the train before answering. "I don't know,
exactly. Maybe... Maybe we can visit Tsuruko and find out what this is
all really about. Maybe it's all just some sort of test or
something..."
Naru shook her head sadly. "We can visit her, but I'm afraid that she
seemed as serious as Death itself about the marriage. I... I think
Keitaro went through with the whole thing as much out of fear of her as
anything else." The why of the whole marriage thing had been weighing
on her own mind, as well. Motoko did it because of the whole honor
thing and she could understand that. Keitaro, though... well, he'd
always valued his word, but that didn't stop him from breaking it on
occasion. If he really didn't want to do it, then she couldn't come up
with a reason why he would have.
That only left the obvious conclusion that he didn't not want to do it.
Or rather, he did want to do it. //Could his feelings really change so
much in just a couple of months? Did he really mean it in the first
place?// She grimaced, and Shinobu apparently noticed.
"I... Naru-senpai, I know that you l-like Keitaro," she pause, her face
showing a blush at the mention of "liking" someone, though she quite
implied love.
//So innocent... was I ever like that?// Naru wondered, but she knew the
answer. //Yes, with Seta. Though I don't think he ever even
noticed...// "Shinobu, I know you like him as well." The younger
girl's blush deepened visibly at the suggestion. "Which is why we're
going to be his friends, no matter who he is married to."
It was the decision she had finally reached with herself, and she was
fairly sure that Shinobu would agree. Naru hadn't gone beyond "friend"
with Keitaro because she was afraid of messing up their friendship by
becoming romantically involved. With that not possible, it seemed
logical that their "friend" relationship would be more secure than ever.
Of course, logic doesn't matter much in the affairs of the human heart
and with the "danger" of a relationship with Keitaro not so obvious,
other feelings had surfaced.
***
"Do you really need this many, Kitsune?" Keitaro asked, the basket in
his arms stacked precariously high with bottles of sake. She'd been
suspiciously eager to help him with the shopping and now he could see
why.
"Your wife emptied my entire stash, so it's only fair that you help me
restock." She added another bottle to the stack and it teetered
precipitously. "Besides, with Motoko for a wife, you're probably going
to need it as much as I am."
Keitaro blushed. "She's not so bad..."
//Of course she isn't,// Mitsune thought, bitterly. //Anyone would be
better than me.//
Kitsune had been amazed at how well Motoko and Keitaro were getting
along the night before and that morning. She'd been sure they were
destined for disaster after the first night, but the mysterious package
the day before seemed to have turned things around.
//He's settling down with her,// she decided. She was happy that they'd
decided not to make each other miserable, but something about it irked
her. It hadn't been a month since she'd resigned herself to watching
Keitaro be in love with someone else, but she had expected that person
to be and remain Naru. She was used to that. This was... different.
She'd as good as confessed an interest in him a month before, but
Keitaro was a little on the dense side about such things, it seemed.
She certainly wasn't going to try to force something that wasn't there,
and she knew enough to stay out of other people's relationships.
Meddling had burned her more than once in the past. Better to slip into
"Kitsune" mode and let her sensitive side sleep for a while.
//Is it crazy to be two people?// she'd always wondered. She was, in a
very real way, split. Kono Mitsune was her real self, but she'd long
ago developed another persona behind which to live. Kitsune was selfish
and lazy, mischievous and sultry. What she wasn't was lonely, which was
an emotion that Mitsune held a lot of.
Living in Naru's romantic shadow throughout high school had been bad
enough, but even afterward, it had kept on. Keitaro wasn't the first
guy she'd liked who had the hots for Naru, but he'd been one of the
best. While Mitsune might have been pining away for him, though,
Kitsune was too busy being his friend. //There are other fish in the
sea,// the fox in her said, and Mitsune did her best to believe her,
though it was getting a little ridiculous.
Of course, it would help if she ever met available men. Aside from
Keitaro, who no longer counted, the only guys she'd talked to more than
once in the last year had been Keitaro's two ronin buddies. //What were
their names again?// She honestly couldn't remember.
She'd had some hopes for Keitaro. The way Naru had been treating him
matched her usual "let them wait to be dumped" pattern, but she should
have known better. She could have had him when he was a ronin, but
almost the second his life takes a meaningful term, he's not available.
In any case, he was someone she could talk to, and with him off the
market, there wasn't much tension there of a sexual nature, which made
some things easier to talk about.
They finished the shopping and were on the way back to the Hinatasou
before they really started talking again. "Not all that bad, you say.
So she... and you..." she said with a sly smile, leaning a bit closer to
him. Keitaro was her friend, but she still enjoyed getting a rise out
of him.
"Wha... Kitsune!" Keitaro blushed and looked around to make sure that
they were relatively alone. "N-nothing like that."
She smiled, "Oh, don't worry, I'll have a word with her tonight and see
why she's holding out on you." Some part of her was thrilled when he
started sputtering and protesting. Mitsune watched Kitsune work with
amazement. Her alter-ego was certainly a mistress of chaos when she
wanted to be.
Keitaro was certainly a virgin. She didn't even need an admission to
know that. He just carried himself that way. //I should know... I've
never... done that, either,// Mitsune admitted to herself. Kitsune
certainly made her seem a "woman of experience" though it was far from
the truth.
//I'm a sham.// Mitsune accused her self.
Kitsune simply offered her a mental grin grinned and continued her
gentle ribbing of her traveling companion. //But a sham who knows how
to enjoy herself.//
***
The train terminal far behind them, Naru and Shinobu wandered the
streets of Kyoto aimlessly. Ostensibly, they were taking in the sights,
but the two of them spent most of their time drifting along, locked away
with their thoughts.
Shinobu was desperately trying to keep from thinking about Keitaro and
not succeeding. Their first meeting had involved him exposing himself
to her, lying about who he was, and generally providing most of her
"firsts" with the male sex. In a lot of ways, he was like her boyfriend
already, but in others he was like a big brother. She'd hoped that he
would come to see her as a woman. She'd even been entertaining a dream
of going to Toudai after him... but it all seemed pointless now.
She hadn't realized how much of her life and self had been built around
him until he was gone from her. Well, he wasn't gone, really. She
could still have him as a "big brother", but never as anything more.
Motoko was a lot like a big sister to her, even more than Naru, and she
couldn't bring herself to get between them. Naru had lost something of
her saintliness since Keitaro had arrived and become a rival as much as
anything else, but Motoko had always remained aloof from that. Which is
why it stung so much that she had been the one to "win".
There was more than just that behind her flight from the Hinatasou,
though. Su's method of comforting her had left her a little more than
shaken, and considerably more confused than upset. What had happened
had been... enjoyable, but it certainly wasn't what she had envisioned
for her first time. For that matter, it wasn't something she'd ever
thought she would ever try. Ever.
It had happened, though, and she hadn't fought to stop it. She'd been
upset, and it certainly helped to put things into perspective. If her
intentions hadn't been so noble, Shinobu would have felt violated, but
for some reason she didn't. Not for the first time, she wondered
exactly what country her friend was from.
"Shinobu?" Naru asked her, apparently having said something else she
missed.
"Sorry..." She traced back over what had been said to her and thought
she had it. "Yes, beefbowl is fine."
Neither of them had a positive flow of funds, and travel was expensive.
They weren't here for the cuisine, anyway. They were here to buy
themselves time to think about everything that had happened and come to
terms with it. Shinobu was finding that she had more things to come to
terms with than she'd thought.
***
Keitaro sighed as he finished putting away the shopping. Kitsune was a
good friend to talk to, but she wasn't much for helping out with chores.
Unless part of those chores entailed him purchasing a large amount of
sake for her consumption.
Not that he could necessarily complain. He'd drank his fair share of
her stash over the last few days. Married life was harder than it
looked, particularly when it entailed so many other adjustments. And
she was a great help to him, even if it were only moral support.
A glance at the time showed that there was still plenty of time to have
a drink before anyone came drifting home. He would likely need to
prepare dinner for himself, Kitsune, and Suu and a cold meal for Motoko
since she wouldn't be able to eat till late, most likely. Naru and
Shinobu had been strangely absent for the last couple of days, though it
was likely just because they were avoiding him.
He sighed and wandered off to get that drink.
***
The warm waters of the furo were not quite as invigorating as those of a
hot spring, but Naru hadn't wanted to risk another mixed bath incident
and hadn't sought out an inn with the capacity. The small inn was
certainly quaint and inexpensive, which fit their priorities fairly
well. It was also about half way between Kyoto proper and the mountain
region that held the Shinmeiryuu dojo.
Shinobu was more than a little aware of Naru's proximity in the smaller
bath. Her thoughts drifted to the night before, and she blushed far
deeper than the heat of the bath could account for. She'd never really
looked at other women in "that way" before, but the knowledge of what
she'd done and how good it had felt made those thoughts all too easy to
think.
//At least I'm not pining after Keitaro,// some part of her mind
offered. She tried to cover herself, almost subconsciously. She'd
never been embarrassed to be nude in front of another female before,
either, but that seemed to be something else that had changed. Naru
hadn't gained any modesty or concern for such exposure, though, and that
was making it even worse.
"We'll go up into the mountains to find Tsuruko tomorrow, if you still
want to," Naru was saying.
Shinobu nodded and hoped feverishly that Naru would take her nervousness
as anxiety over the whole Keitaro affair. "I-I don't know if it'll h-
help... but we can decide in the morning."
//Someone please explain to me why I spent yesterday morning crying
about a man and now I can't keep from looking at Naru's breasts...// she
asked herself. Whatever was going on, she was certain that her
confusion was only going to get worse.
***
"I think Motoko wants to... you know..."
Keitaro blushed deeply. He'd overheard Kitsune and Motoko talking in
the hot springs and knew exactly what she was currently referring to.
"N-no... she... it's too soon..."
Kitsune giggled girlishly. "Too soon? Ye're married now." She gave
him a wink. "So, do you know what to do?"
Keitaro blushed and nodded nervously. //Mostly... the important
bits...// Of course, that didn't stop Kitsune from embarrassing him
further with bits and pieces of advice gleaned from romance novels and
trashy television dramas.
***
Shinobu rested on the smooth fabric of her futon, all too aware of
Naru's presence just feet away. //What is happening to me?// she
wondered. //What if I'm really... you know...// She couldn't even
bring herself to complete the thought.
She certainly liked Naru, but she'd thought it was as a friend. Had it
really been as something else she just hadn't recognized? Had she
really been in love with Keitaro or was she just wanting to BE Keitaro?
//Su...// she thought of the foreign girl and sighed. Of all of the
complications in her life, Su was as often the source as not. Though Su
had certainly opened her eyes to something, she wasn't the source of
this new taboo fixation. //Why not?//
//If I'm thinking about someone else that way... does that mean I've
always been that way?// She shivered. Fortunately, Su hadn't attached
any huge emotional import to the act. At least, she didn't think she
had. Su was like a sister to her, which made the whole thing a bit
creepy, but apparently Su's definition of what was appropriate for
family to do for and to each other was vastly different from hers.
The rhythmic breathing coming from the nearby futon did nothing to calm
her nerves. Finally, she drifted off to a sleep filled with soft, warm
touching, though there were more feminine curves in the dream than she
would have expected.
END
Author's notes: Gee, I certainly do a lot of thoughts in these fics.
Of course, I believe that's because most of the conflict is internal.
The intention of this chapter is to show a little bit of what's going on
outside of the Keitaro/Motoko relationship though it is still very much
the center of the story. The Keitaro/Kitsune bits are thrown in to
break up the ceaseless narration of the Naru/Shinobu side.
I expect hate mail about this, by the way ;) But that's half the fun in
writing in odd relationships.