Within Holy Walls
By Tenshi no Ai
(C) Square Enix
Nine: Riovanes Sweets (sweets for the sweet)
-0-
The sun is beaming down on me, bright blue skies free of clouds, and I'm not even outside. My senses are straining to convince me that I am indeed outside and not holed up in this library with this stupid, stupid book that refuses to end...
Ahh...I can't take this much longer. I need to feel the sun on my skin, the wind blowing through my hair...roughened fingers on my skin...gentle lips pressing against mine...
"Reis?"
Oh. Job. Right. I lower my head from its upraised position...ow, my neck...and I regretfully stare at the tome in front of me. I'm in the middle of the prophecies, but it feels like it'll never end... "Good afternoon, Verden," I try to say that as cheerfully as possible, but it comes out more like a plea.
Let me out of here, please...
"Good afternoon, Reis," Verden walks past me and sits down across from me. "Are you bored?"
"Well..." I...ah, what to say... "I guess it's just because the day looks so nice..."
"It's the end of May, so every day is especially pleasing to the senses." Verden's serene expression is so beautiful, like he's always at peace. Whatever the weather, I'm sure he'll always bare that face to the world. "Especially since summer's coming up."
I like summer. "You don't like summertime?"
He raises his hands and gestures to his white robes. "It's too hot when I'm waddling around in these robes."
I giggle. "You're not a squid-man, Verden."
"I feel as if I am one sometimes." He grins a bit, an unsure, almost graceless expression that distracts from his beauty. "But these robes are merely the physical weight of my sins, and I will bear them until my dying day."
That was...morbid. "They don't look heavy at all, so you must not bear many sins."
"You would be surprised then, Reis." He stares at me almost piercingly before adopting his tranquillity again. "But this is not an appropriate subject. I've come to ask you to perform a different job today."
If it gets me outside, I'll do nearly anything...
--Reis, could you do me a favor?--
...Right. Within reason, I'll do nearly anything. "What would you like me to do?" I ask quietly. As long as it doesn't increase the apparent antagonism between Beowulf and Verden...
He coughs slightly. "Well, every Friday the mail arrives for all the church-related members. It is the responsibility of the residents of the church to deliver the letters, so I designate a different person each week to do this job. It's very light work because the war has disrupted the flow of mail, and you really seem in need of fresh air."
I nod. "When you say 'all the church-related members', what does that mean?"
"Oh, I mean all the white mages in the church and the knights in the barracks." He looks at me questioningly. "So, can you do it today?"
I stand. "Where do I meet the delivery man?"
-0-
I'm in front of the gate leading to Bariaus Hill, staring out at my former home. A nervous little quiver rises in my stomach, and I look down.
I could go there any day. It barely even looks like an hour away...barely...
But it feels far.
That feeling is more important than the actual distance. It's best to wait for now...
"'Ey, you from the church?"
I look up. A man dressed in dirty, non-class clothing is staring at me. Don't goblins wear those sort of clothes...? He has a few letters in his hand that he's holding out to me. "Yes, I am." I reach out and take them.
"A pretty one, you are." He looks at me, smiling strangely. "Not all covered neck down. Nice skin tone."
I take a step back, suddenly wary. My dark blue dress is long, and my black boots cover my legs from the shins down, but the short-sleeved white shirt under my sleeveless dress only goes up to the middle of my forearms. After all, it's such a warm day... "Is that package for me?" I ask, looking at the small brown box in his other hand. He looks at it, then at me, something dark in his hazel eyes.
I don't like the way he's looking at me at all.
"No, no," he says after a moment, "for me now. I'll walk you to church," his lips curl back, revealing yellowing teeth, but it's not as disturbing as that dull light in his eyes...
Don't look at me like that!
"It's really alright...I can manage by myself," I say, then I quickly turn and walk away, heading through the neighborhood streets back to the center of town.
I can feel his eyes all the way back to the church.
Once I'm there, I look at the letters in my hand. So few...hm, Verden was right about the war affecting the mail...let's see. "Aimiere Chiroseau, to Jeffre Chiroseau," I whisper. Oh, this must be from Chiroseau's daughter. Aimiere...I'll have to ask him what that means. "Irene Barkosu, to Scarlet Barkosu," who is that...?
--That's what she deserves, you know. It's totally against the rules for us to have a relationship with a knight.
Are you going to tell Priest Buremonda about her, Scarlet?
Why should I? After all, no one can hide a relationship for very long in a church--
Oh. She was one of the three white mages in the bath that night, nearly a month ago. That's not someone I want to see. Last letter... "Amelia Darrow, to Beowulf Kadmus..."
...Who?
He never told me about an 'Amelia'...
Well, it's not like he's obligated to tell me about other women or anything...wait, what?
Why do I suddenly feel so...irrationally annoyed?
--It reminds me of Sis too much--
Maybe...maybe Amelia is his sister's name...?
I sigh. It has nothing to do with me. This is Beowulf's letter. Beowulf's letter has nothing to do with me other than the fact that I have to deliver it to him. Nothing to do with me otherwise. Nothing...
I'll deliver it last. I don't want to think about it right now.
-0-
I don't dislike many people. You have to care about someone first before you can bring up enough energy to actively dislike someone. But that Scarlet...
I don't want to think about it.
I'm heading towards the barracks, a feeling of dread encompassing my already bad mood.
Who is 'Amelia'?
Why do I care?
...I really am in a bad mood. It's been a long time since I've been immersed in one. What a horrible feeling. Being emotionally open has its setbacks.
I reach the barracks and knock loudly on the door. Ah, I needed to hit something. "Coming!" I hear, and the door opens to reveal a young man with black hair. It's so rare to see someone with such dark hair. His eyes are different too...is he from the Eastern Lands? "Good afternoon, miss." I stare as he bows, then I bow. His smile broadens after I raise my head.
"I'm looking for Sir Chiroseau...is he in?" The young man nods, then leaves. A moment later Chiroseau appears.
"Ah, Miss Reis. What can I do for you this afternoon?" Chiroseau smiles down at me as I hand him his letter, "Aimee, huh?" he says as his smile widens.
"Your daughter, right? She has a very nice name." I feel kind of uplifted seeing a father's smile.
Papa would smile like that all the time...
"Thank you, I was the one who named her." His smile becomes less exuberant, but it's still very happy. "Her brother's name is Pietre."
Aimiere and Pietre...? Interesting. "Do they mean anything?"
"Not anything awe-inspiring." He points at my right hand. "Is that another letter to a knight? I'll take it to him, if you like."
Oh. Beowulf's letter. "It's a letter to Beowulf," I say, nearly wincing at my flat tone. "Can you tell me where he is? I'd like to deliver it to him by myself."
Chiroseau's dark blue eyes flicker, but his smile still stays. "I hear you two have been having a wonderful time together." He pauses. "He's on patrol right now...he should be around the shopping area, pretending he's not distracted and actually alert."
I don't get it. "Why would he be distracted?"
Now he grins. "He's probably thinking about you."
And Amelia. I lower my eyes. "I don't know about that. Thank you, Sir Chiroseau."
"No problem. Have fun," he says warmly, then walks back inside, closing the door.
Ah...shopping street, huh? I turn around and start walking towards the main street, clutching Beowulf's letter in my right hand. I'm sure...I'm sure that Amelia is his sister.
--Believe me, Reis, the last time I talked to a woman was when I last saw Sis--
That's what he said when I was looking for thread. So, it must be his sister. Or it could just be a friend he hasn't talked to in a very long time. I mean, he was in the war, so it would've been hard to get ahold of him. This has probably been the most stable place for him in a long time, and maybe his friends back home--male and female--didn't learn about that until recently. After all, I don't know how long he's lived in Lionel.
So, maybe she's a friend. He's a very friendly person, after all. He made friends with me just because I told him I didn't have any friends...
--Is that so? Well then, we'll have to do something about that--
So, we're friends. But, I mean...we hold hands and kiss and...
I don't want to find out that he's doing that with other friends.
Seeing how other women react, and now my own anxiety, my own...jealousy, maybe...maybe women are inherently possessive.
That's disturbing. I don't think I like this about myself, about being a woman...
Looking up, I see that I'm in the shopping street, the town's main street. I look around. Since it's a nice day, there are so many people out, milling about and enjoying themselves. Children running around, daughters and mothers shopping for tonight's supper, young men in groups. There even seems to be some older men around, fixing up the street.
Through it all, I can see Beowulf down the street, his body turned away from me.
I make my way through the people, wiggling through the tight spots and slightly jogging where there's plenty of room through the shifting crowds. Just as I reach him, he turns in my direction, blinks, then looks down. Brandy eyes, his eyes, they widen and light up when they land on me, and I feel bad that...I've been having such dark thoughts about him. "Reis! What're you doing here?"
I hold up the letter in my hand. "There was a letter for you."
"Oh, Buremonda gave you mail duty, huh?" He takes the letter, looks at the front and smiles. "Ah, Sis. I knew it felt like a month since her last letter."
I feel so relieved...and slightly guilty. All that obsessing for nothing...good. "Your sister's name is Amelia...that's a nice name."
"I've never gotten into the habit of calling her by her name," he remarks, opening the envelope. "Will you sit with me while I read this?"
"Sure." I smile and we walk over to a wooden bench on the side of the street. He takes out a sheaf of paper from the envelope and begins reading it. I watch his face as he goes through the letter. It doesn't change much from the small smile he had when he started reading it, although his eyes seem to soften a little.
Even when they're far away, siblings should always be connected...
He finishes the letter and turns to me, a look of anticipation on his face. "So, where's my package?"
Package...? "I wasn't given one."
He looks a little stunned at this. "But Sis said she sent a package with the letter..."
Package...I saw a package, didn't I?
--No, no, for me now--
My eyes narrow as I clench my hands into nearly painful fists. That...that... "He had a package but he didn't give it to me!"
Beowulf's eyes widen. "Reis...?"
"He said it was for him now!" I exclaim. How...how could someone...that...!
"Reis, calm down, it's okay, it was just food..." Beowulf holds up his hands placatingly, and I lower my eyes. God, if I only had insisted...but that man was...the way he was staring at me...
I look up at Beowulf. "Food? What kind of food?"
"Riovanes sweets," he says promptly. Where have I heard that before...?
--My favorite foods are all sweet stuff...pastries, scones with strawberries and cream, Riovanes sweets, caramel anything--
Oh, it's one of his favorite...foods... "I'm sorry, if I had confronted him about it, you'd have your favorite food right now..."
He waves his hand, smiling lightly. "Don't worry about it. It's just food. Sis can always send me more."
It's kind of a waste... "I think I'll go back to work now," I stand.
"Wait...do you want to go out tomorrow night? My patrol's in the morning," his face is encouraging, but...
I have to...well, there's only one thing I can do before I feel better about all of this.
"Sorry, but I have some things to do. Goodbye, Beowulf," I wave and walk back into the crowd, then I dash towards the church.
I have to find a recipe for Riovanes sweets!
-0-
I open the door of the library, slightly out of breath. "Verden? Are you here?"
"Reis?" Verden is at my table, reading through my translation notebook. It's filled with the babbling of that incoherent saint...ah, I'd think nicer of him if he hadn't had to refer to how he was the 'son of God' all the time. It's almost like he's too proud about that. I approach my table, and Verden stands up. "Your translation is incredible. Extremely easy to read while maintaining the style of the speech."
It's nice to know that I'm more understood than Ajora. I bow. "Thank you for your kind words. Could I ask you a question?"
"You can ask me absolutely anything, Reis," he says firmly.
Oh, good. "Is there anyone here from...from Fovoham?"
He looks away, arms crossed and seemingly deep in thought. "I...believe so. Several of the white mages are from that region." He looks at me with passive curiosity. "May I ask why?"
What to say...better not say anything about Beowulf. "I've heard about a delicious treat called Riovanes sweets. I thought I'd try and make some, but I need the recipe first."
"Oh." Verden looks interested. "I did not know that you could cook."
I frown slightly. What kind of thing to say is that? I'm a woman, of course I know how to cook. "It has been a long time since I last tried, but I think I'm capable of it."
"Of course," he says easily. "There is a kitchen on the other side of the church, as you know. I'll ask whoever's in charge to allow you unlimited access. Is that acceptable?"
That's a lot... "It's...that's fine, but I should only need an hour or so."
"Unlimited access," he repeats mildly. "As long as you're here, this is your home. Therefore, you should be able to use the facilities of this place to your liking."
Well...alright. "Thank you very much." I bow deeply, and when I look at his face again I notice that it's tinted pink. I hope he's not coming down with anything...
"I--I believe that most of the white mages should be in the kitchen, actually," he says, losing a bit of his admirable composure, "you should go there and find out your recipe."
I look at my notebook and that tome on the table. "I still have some work to do before the sun goes down, don't you think?"
"No." Verden smiles. "Go and find your recipe. And remember that tomorrow you have your day off."
Oh, right. "Thank you, Verden. I'll see you in church on Sunday."
He smiles benignly. "Reis, you always see me in church."
...Ah, right. "That's true, isn't it?" I bow, then I turn and leave the library. Okay, eating area...I haven't gone there since I started dating Beowulf, actually. I walk to the front of the church, then I walk down the length of that to the other side of the building...down, down...here's the door. I open the door and come face-to-face with Scarlet.
"Hello there." She looks at me oddly. "We don't see you here often enough."
"I suppose not," I mumble, suddenly feeling anxious. Oh, I should ask her... "Excuse me, but are you from Fovoham?"
Her face, normally clear and attractive, darkens. "Yes, why? Does my accent bother you or something?"
...Why is she getting defensive? "I didn't realize you had an accent."
"Oh, so you're the sort of person who only sees herself because you're so beautiful, right?"
What is her problem? I might be self-absorbed thinking this, but I don't care if she has an accent or a lisp or anything. "I don't understand. I was merely asking because I was hoping that you'd know the recipe to make Riovanes sweets."
"Is that so? Didn't think that a Murond cataloguer would even know the difference between yellow and red chocobos, not to talk of actually cooking." She sighs. "I'll go to my room and write it down so someone like you can understand it better." Brushing past me, she heads for the dorm area.
I frown. She's the second person today who doesn't believe that I can cook because I'm a cataloguer. That's really starting to get to me.
I enter the cafeteria, which is split up in two parts: the eating area in front, and the kitchen, which is accessible through a door across from me. There are a few other women here, all in their white mage uniforms. Now that I think about it, other than Verden, there's only women here, and they're all white mages. But I've seen a lot of male white mages at Murond...
I make my way to the kitchen door and push it open, my ears registering that the few occupants are whispering about me. I sigh and walk into the kitchen, where a woman, older than what seems to be the norm for the occupants here, glares at me. I take a step back. "What do you think you're doing here, missy?"
Okay, Verden said that I have the right to be here...don't be intimidated... "Um...Ve--Priest Buremonda told me that I was allowed to use the facilities here..."
"Oh, of course," the woman huffs, pushing back her dark blond hair as she storms past me for the door. "He would say that to his cataloguer..." The door slams shut behind her.
Everyone's so hostile to me...because I'm a cataloguer? That doesn't make any sense at all. They don't even know me...
Everyone was nicer in Murond...well, in a blank sort of way.
I really am different...but knowing that didn't used to hurt like this...
--tmptmptmp--
I turn just as the door swings open, revealing Scarlet, her long brown hair flying about her. "Here," she says in a clipped way as she shoves a crumpled piece of paper at me. I take it. "Don't mess up too many times. We don't have unlimited resources for you to play around with, you know." She gives me a thin-lipped smile before departing, the door following right behind her with a loud bang.
...Hn.
I look down at the paper she gave me...I can't read this handwriting...it's so sloppy. I close my eyes.
Well, I might as well try my best for Beowulf's sake. I don't want to end up poisoning him, although with the readability of this recipe it seems to be a foregone conclusion.
I open my eyes and look around the kitchen. It's very orderly, with shelves and cabinets in counters set parallel to each other. It's so big...and there's the stove and oven that...wow, that's not a wood-burning stove and oven. I walk over to it, set in the middle of the counter across from the door, and I carefully peer down at the stove.
This is so different from Mama's wood-burning stove and oven...I don't even know how to start this...
"That's a 'magic-powered set' from Goug Machine City."
I turn, completely off-guard. There's a woman at the door, dressed in the robes of a white mage. Her hood is down, revealing short auburn hair. I was paying so much attention to the...ah... 'magic-powered set' that I didn't hear her. "Um, excuse me?"
She walks over to me, dark brown eyes fairly sparkling. "Here, move a bit." I do as I'm told, and she stands in front of the stove. "See, instead of wood, it takes in magic like..." she raises her right hand and mumbles something before flicking up her index finger. A tiny flame appears and she sets it on top of the lower-right burner, which is the closest to her. A good fire starts immediately, and she quickly moves her hand away. "See how that works?"
I...wow! "That's amazing." But wait, I don't know any magic. I lower my head. "But I can't do that."
She mutters something else and waves her hand over the lit burner, freezing out the fire. "Can't perform magic...oh, you're the cataloguer from Murond!"
Oh...now she's going to dislike me too.
She sticks out her right hand at me. "Penelope Mintopolous, otherwise known as Peppermint. I've been hearing the nastiest things about you, but it really is just gossip, isn't it?"
What an unusual greeting...but she seems nice. I hold out my hand to her, and she grasps it and shakes it a few times. "I'm Reis Dular, it's nice to meet you."
Peppermint...that's a familiar name.
--So, what about Peppermint?
Oh, you won't believe it! She's actually still going steady with one of the knights!--
Oh...she was the one Scarlet and the others were talking about. They said she was breaking the rules...
"Say, what's that?" Peppermint points at the paper in my left hand, and I wordlessly hand it to her. Maybe she can make sense of it. "Wow, whoever gave you this recipe really wants you to fail."
What? "Miss Scarlet gave me that recipe when I asked her how to make Riovanes Sweets..."
"Is that so? Well, it's a good thing you haven't started yet." She smiles at me, "I'll help you. First, there's a bag of rice in the cabinet next to the stove." I walk over to the cabinet on the left of the stove and bend over, opening the cabinet door and pulling out a huge bag of this...rice stuff. I set it on the counter. "'Kay, now turn around..." I do so, looking at the other side of the kitchen. "Cabinet on the counter in front of you, wooden circular bowl." I do as she says, and soon I have an oddly-shaped bowl and a bag of rice. "Now, pour out the rice into the bowl...scoop it--" I pick up the bag--it's probably more than three-fourths filled--and pour it into the bowl, quickly filling it without spilling any of this...wow, this is rice?
I put the bag upright again and place it back in its cabinet before picking up a grain from the bowl. It's a white oblong and very small. "I've never seen rice before..."
"You're pretty strong, aren't you?" she says kindly. "Anyway, rice comes from Fovoham, northern Lesalia and Gallionne, places with wide, ongoing fields. If you're from Murond, it makes sense that you've never seen rice before."
I bristle at this. Murond, Murond, Murond...everyone assumes that I don't know anything practical because I'm from Murond. "Actually, I'm from northern Lionel," I hope I don't sound like I'm being rude by correcting her, it's just...
I can't really say that I've lived at Murond.
"Same thing." She approaches me, taking the bowl of rice off the counter. "They're both Church-owned, right? I'm going to go draw some water and soak the rice, I'll be right back." She leaves with the bowl and the badly-written recipe.
Peppermint's a kind person, I think. She's pretty direct, kind of like Beowulf, but more...clipped in her tone and manner.
But she didn't have to help me, so she has to be a kind person.
"Back," she announces, carrying the wooden bowl...where's the recipe? "Can you get me the lid, please?"
I look through the cabinet where I had found the bowl...ah, here's the lid...and I place it on top of the bowl. She places the bowl on the counter to the right of the stove and smiles at me. "Okay, meet me back here at...ten tomorrow morning, and we'll start on making it." She walks out of the kitchen.
She's nice, but she really is abrupt...
-0-
Riovanes sweets is a very interesting confection. I mean, the way it's prepared is so unusual. First, rice has to be soaked overnight. Then, it has to be steamed for a couple of hours. After the steaming, the rice is placed into a mortar--a small one, in this case--and pounded with wooden mallets and kneaded until it becomes...what is the word Peppermint used...ah, 'glutinous'. During this time, she had me simmer half a pot of berries with more 'pure' sugar than is probably healthy. Whatever she would say, I've immediately followed...which isn't at all like Mama's teaching style, but I don't mind.
I'm actually having a lot of fun.
"Okay, flour, same cabinet as the rice," Peppermint says and I bend over to find it...ah, here it is...and I give it to her, "okay, the berry mixture is thickening, right?" I look into the pot of berries and sugar, wincing at the sickeningly sweet smell, and stir at it with the wooden spoon in the pot. Ah, it's gooey.
"Yes, it's plenty thick," I look away from the mixture and watch as she liberally powders the glutinous rice, then deftly cuts it into fourteen squares. "What should I do next?"
"Turn off the stove," she says, and I stare at her. "Oh, right. Move aside." I do so and she flicks an ice spell at the burner. I really feel useless in the face of all this magic that everyone's flinging around...first Beowulf, and now Peppermint...I feel obsolete. "Now, tell me...who's this for?"
I blink at the sudden change of subjects. "Um...a friend."
She grins. "A boyfriend?"
I wouldn't call Beowulf a 'boy'. "A man friend."
She starts laughing then. "I mean a lover, not if he's a boy or a man!"
Lover...?
I...I don't love Beowulf...I just really, really like him. "No, not a lover..." I murmur, the words sticking in my throat.
Right now that's a bit much...isn't it?
"I...I see," she says quietly, "I just figured...ah, nevermind. So, just a friend?"
"...Yes." But it feels kind of empty saying that when I'm cooking for him. "We're just friends."
Peppermint looks at me sadly for a moment, then shakes her head. "He must be an indecisive man, then."
Indecisive? Beowulf? He can't be a leader if he's indecisive. "Why would you say that?"
"Be-because he's keeping around such an inhumanly beautiful woman like you, and he still hasn't made any sort of claim on you! If my boyfriend had been anything like your 'friend', I wouldn't even have bothered to keep loving him." She sighs. "In this day and age, if you don't make the guy adopt some responsibility in your relationship, you're just asking for a lifetime of regrets. He's a knight, right?" I nod slowly. "Figures. I don't think anything less would get close to you, especially since Priest Buremonda's probably keeping you under lock and key, since you're the prized cataloguer and all." I lower my head at this. I'm starting to despise that title... "Well, that means that you need your friend to make a commitment as soon as possible. It's never good to keep things up in the air."
I don't think...that's not up to me. And besides... "Thank you for your concern, but it's not really...it doesn't really matter to me."
As long as I can be around him, that's good enough. What's the point about stressing about labels?
Peppermint shakes her head. "It's such a shame that you're a total innocent. Cute, but a shame. What can someone like you do once everything starts going bad?"
Close myself off for another eight years and hope that this time no one will try to bother me and make me feel again, I guess. I stir the contents inside the now-cooled pot. "What should I do with this?"
"Bring it over here. We're going to put the filling onto one of these halves, then place the other half on top of it and close it off tightly." She pauses. "You really aren't like most women, Reis."
Apparently not. "Is that why everyone refers to me as 'the cataloguer from Murond'?" I succeed at not sounding bitter, all while placing the pot on the counter. Amazing.
"Nah, they do that because they're jealous. Priest Buremonda pays more attention to you than them." She gives me a spoon and scoops up some of the berry goop from the pot. "Not me, though. I already have someone."
"Why would they be jealous?" I scoop from the pot and place it on one of the halves. "I mean, Priest Buremonda's...a priest. Are Lionel's laws different than Murond's in that aspect?"
Peppermint cups a Riovanes sweet, trying to tighten it up. "No, not in that regard. But all of the white mages here...well, they're used to having Priest Buremonda pay attention to them, and give them pay raises and such. He's a really kind man, the perfect boss. But then you came around because he wanted you to, and because you're so much more beautiful than they are, because you come from Murond, because he's now usually in the library when you are...they're just really threatened by you."
That...doesn't make me feel any better. "Is that so?"
"And now this," she continues. "You're a nice girl, so I'll warn you now: don't let any of them know that you're 'just friends' with a knight. I know that they know that I'm with one, and they'll just let it go and let me get into trouble by myself, but you...I don't think that Priest Buremonda will let you go for something as serious as that."
I stop in the middle of cupping together a sweet. It's not just the white mages? "I'm not allowed to date, either? But I'm a cataloguer under Murond jurisdiction."
"Especially you, I think." She finishes tightening a sweet and sets it down to look at me. "Reis, have you ever felt jealous because you thought that your friend may like another woman?"
Oh, God. That, of all things, would haunt me. "But it was over a mistake..."
She waves her hand, a bit of flour flying into the air. "I understand. But you know, jealousy, possessiveness...all those sort of feelings aren't just female in nature. It's just that men and women react differently. And knights...oh, knights and priests just don't get along, period. That's just how it is." She nods once. "Almost done?"
"Yes." I place the sweet in my hand down. Seven good-sized Riovanes sweets are on the counter, which is a mess now with flour and berry goop. I go over to the other counter and pick up the wooden box gingerly. "Now this?"
"Mm-hm." She takes the box from me and places the confections inside, then hands me the box. "Go, give your friend the sweets. I'll clean up here, then I'm going to meet up with my darling." She lowers her head, then sighs. "I hope everything works out between you two."
What's with that sigh? "Likewise, Peppermint. Thank you for everything." I make my way to the door, then I turn back to her. "Maybe sometime, we could talk more...?"
It's such a risk to extend myself like this...maybe she only likes me for now. I would really like a female friend, though...my last one was Mama.
"Yes, sometime soon. You can tell me what your friend thought about the Riovanes sweets." She smiles widely at me. "Now, go."
And this, like any of the other orders she gave me in the kitchen, I follow.
-0-
I stand before the door to the barracks, hands clean, clothes plain but still form-fitting, hair down and heart pounding. Oh God, is my heart pounding.
I'm submitting my cooking skills to scrutiny--well, mine and Peppermint's, really--and that's making me feel really nervous. And, of all things, it would have to be a favorite food, and I haven't tested my skills in such a long time, and I'm sure if it's bad it's going to be even more obvious because it's a favorite food...
I take a deep breath. I did the best I could, so stop that...
Knock on the door...
Timidly, I move the box to the crook of my left arm and raise my right hand. Loose fist...bring it down...
--knok...knok...knok--
I pull back my hand and quickly turn my head away from the door. If I was going to knock that slowly, I should've only knocked twice...
"Coming!"
No, no! I'd much rather go to you! That way I can take my time instead of you hurrying towards me...I choke back a moan at my bad luck and try to turn my head towards the door just as it begins to open. "Reis?" Oh, it's Beowulf. How...how lucky... "I thought you were busy?"
Well, I suddenly became unbusy...wait, 'unbusy' isn't a word. "I...I wanted to see you," I mumble, "can...can I come in?"
Oh my God. What am I saying? This is like going into a behemoth's den...
He opens the door wider, waiting for me to pass through before he closes it. It's a bit darker in here, but since it's only mid-afternoon that doesn't mean much. It's still messy, but the windows are open. "Let's go to my office," he suggests, softly placing his hand on my right shoulder blade. I tense up and he removes his hand. Wait, wrong reaction!
I'm hopeless.
Walking stiffly forward, I somehow make it into his office. Beowulf follows behind, and when I look up into his face there's only concern there. "Is something wrong, Reis? You look kind of...stressed."
It's that obvious? "Is...is that so..."
"Well, your face seems normal." I'm sure he means 'blank', because that's my default expression. "But your eyes give it away." He stops, and I see his dark eyes focusing in on my box. "What's that?"
Okay, this is it. I hold out the box to him with both hands. "Ah...it's for you."
He takes it, staring at me oddly before lifting up the cover. "Is this..." he starts in a hopeful tone, then he picks up one of the sweets and takes a bite of it. He looks at me, stunned.
Oh God, I knew there was too much sugar! Or maybe we didn't pound on the rice long enough...maybe everyone was right in doubting my abilities...
"This is really good!"
Eh? I watch him as he pops the rest of the sweet into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before focusing on me again. "You really didn't have to go through all that trouble for me, Reis." He smiles warmly at me and suddenly all that tension melts away and I'm happy, so happy...
"It wasn't any trouble at all, Beowulf," I say, smiling widely. My face is unused to the action, so I smile wider. Oh God, this is my moment...
He places the box onto his almost-orderly desk, still smiling at me like I'm really, really special. I feel really, really special. "If you say so, but I'm sure it was hard to find a peddler selling Riovanes Sweets, no matter what you say."
...What?
Peddler?
But I made those--with help, but still--and he thinks I bought them instead of making them...why? "I...I didn't buy them from a peddler..."
Now he looks thoughtful. "Ah, so the mailman returned it? That's a first..."
He didn't return them, I made them...but that's not an obvious solution, is it? I completely drop my smile. "He didn't return your sister's package, either."
"Hmm, now that I think about it, these are fresh...oh, you made them," his tone is full of wonder...of course, "I'm really impressed, Reis. They're perfect."
Yes, they're so perfect that they must be bought. Of course.
I lower my head. I want to say something really harsh to him, because I...
That really hurt my feelings.
Verden, Scarlet, and now Beowulf...no one seems to think that I'm competent in any feminine skills. I'm just a cataloguer from Murond, all I should know is how to file away books and translate, right?
It's not like I had a life before Murond.
I've really lost that part of me, that essential part...
"Reis, what's wrong?" Beowulf leans down before me so our faces are the same level. He reaches out and touches my face, softly cupping my cheeks in his large hands. Something soft, the flour of the sweets I think, streaks along my left cheek and I close my eyes. "I can't do anything unless you tell me what's bothering you."
I... "Why didn't you first assume that I had made the sweets?" The words softly brush past my lips, and I could just wince at how utterly stupid I must sound.
It is a stupid thing. It's incredibly, without doubt, ridiculously stupid.
It means everything to me.
"Hmm..." he mumbles, "probably because I know that you're incredibly beautiful and amazingly intelligent and adorably naive." My face reddens at this. "But a great cook as well? That's almost too much for a simple knight like me." I feel his lips against my forehead. "You're always surprising me. What else is in your repertoire?"
"Well, I--" I begin, and he quickly removes one of his hands from my face and places a finger against my lips. I open my eyes and I see him smiling at me.
"Don't tell me, I want to find out on my own." He moves his finger from my lips, his hand gently adrift on my face. His thumb lightly presses against the bottom of my lower lip, and my eyelids flutter closed just as his lips touch against mine. My lips are parted slightly, as are his, and I can taste the overly-sweet berries on his breath. My tongue darts across his bottom lip, flour dissolving on the tip of my tongue.
But even while I'm doing this, I feel twisted inside.
This woman who is engaged in a kiss, is she the same girl who was training to be the perfect hunter's wife? Could this desolate shell and that lively spirit actually be connected?
Maybe my memories are lying to me.
-End to Nine-
On Verden Buremonda: Yes, he exists in the game. No, he was never shown as a sprite. The only time he is mentioned is in Reis and Beowulf's Brave Story summaries. His ultimate fate is never revealed in the game. Vague, isn't it? That just makes it fun for me...
Reviewers!
Mavina, I'm really happy that you liked the kiss scene! I'm still pretty weirded out writing those scenes in 1st person, but it's getting a lot easier. I usually don't like reading those scenes because of the hyperbole that goes on... -shudders- But no, I don't have any talent for you to take, I'm struggling enough as is!
Luna-chan! I'm so happy to see that you're around! I just don't feel like I'm writing a series until you pop up . Anyway, I hope that you show up more often, I actually post every week now, unlike Shidareyanagi...eh. I hope that all is going well with college--tell me if I'm wrong about that--and try not to get too stressed out, okay? By the way, thanks for the summoner gown idea, but I looked at a picture and since Reis needed something that's easier for another person to pull off...just kidding, mostly :)
Star Eevee, nice to see you! I hope to hear from you again once you've finished off all the available chapters, but I really appreciated your comments as they are now. Gee, I hope that you like the story more and not less by the time you see this note. And thanks for caring how I'm doing in relation to writing and posting, that really made my day.
I would love to hear from any would-be reviewers, especially since we're hitting nine chapters and two months in the weekly serial that is Within Holy Walls! Questions and comments are always appreciated, but if you're reading and still hesitant on reviewing or don't care to, it's all good. I mean, at least you're reading!
Chapter 10: Alone (I Tingle): 'As the young boy pads through the library to my table, I can only focus on one thing, one amazingly singular thing that hits me deep in my stomach and just won't let go.
He looks exactly like my brothers...'