Luckily, for the sake of Mort's sanity, they arrived at the little diner that Lucy mentions pretty quickly. Very unluckily, however, they found the place to be closed. Not only closed, but completely tore down and they now found themselves staring at an empty lot.

'I don't understand, it was here three years ago." Lucy mused to herself. Once again, Mort just stared at her.

Her elevator doesn't exactly reach the top floor, does it?

It doesn't appear to.

"Well then, I suppose sausage and eggs are out of the question then." Lucy stated, then turned to Mort. "How do you feel about hamburgers? I know a place about two miles down the road that I am positive is still open."

"Are you sure it's still open?" Mort asked, doubting her just a little, and rightfully so.

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Lucy said, another one of her trademark smiles in place.

Do we trust her?

We're gonna have to, I'm getting hungry.

Mort sighed. "Alright."

"Splendid." Lucy reversed the car out of the lot, and headed down the street. "You're in for quite a treat, let me tell ya. This place has the best hamburgers you have, or ever will taste. Every bite is a little piece of heaven. Oh, you're not a vegetarian or vegan or anything like that, or you?" Lucy asked, with a hint of worry in her voice.

"No."

"Oh good."

Within a few minutes they pulled into a parking lot with a yellow taxi cab parked out front. Mort looked up to read the name of the place.

Taxi's , I guess that would explain the taxi cab.

You're good at this, ever think of becoming a detective?

Bite me.

The two got out of the car and walked in. Mort was greeted with a smell that was truly out of this world. It literally made his mouth water. If the food tasted halfway as good as it smelled, well let's just say Mort seriously wanted a doggy bag. After giving his order to Lucy, he went and sat down in a booth. Once he got comfortable, he looked over to see a small table top jute box. After browsing through the songs, he took out two quarters and selected J4, which just so happened to be The Lion Sleeps Tonight (so sorry, I can't think of who sings that song at the moment) The song started and Mort just couldn't help but hum along. It was, afterall, one of his favorite songs.

"Oh, nice choice." Lucy exclaimed, as she took a seat on the other side of the booth.

Mort looked up, a little embarrassed that she caught him singing........ well, almost. "Yeah. I'm surprise you think so after listening to that eighties crap all morning." Mort joked with her adding that ever so lovely smirk as well.

"Hey now, I'll have you know that the eighties is one of the best decades of music there is." Lucy defended.

"No no no." Mort insisted with a shake of the head.

"Okay then all fountain of knowledge, what would you say is the best decade of music?" she challenged, with a quirked eyebrow.

"The sixties, hands down."

Lucy pursed her lips and appeared to be thinking about this for a moment, then sighed reluctantly. "Alright, I'll agree with you on that. The sixties did rock." she looked over to see Mort with a triumphed smile on his face, and couldn't help but roll her eyes. Damn how she hated losing.

Before Mort had the opportunity to boast about his victory, the waitress came up to the table with their food. The taxi melt went to Lucy, and the mushroom burger went to Mort. The both said their thanks you as the waitress walked off. They prepared their burger and fries with the necessary condiments, then each took a bite.

"Oh my god!" Lucy practically squealed. "Talk about mental orgasm. So, what do you think?"

"Wow." Mort had the most content look on his face. He had to admit, that was the best damn burger he had ever tasted.

"Ha, told you."

They continued eating their lunch, asking little questions throughout. By the time they were done, they were completely stuffed to the point that if you had stuck a needle in either one, they surely would have popped. But of course, that didn't stop either of them from picking up a doggy bag for the road.

-----------------------------------

Night fell and around nine p.m they finally found the first hotel they would staying at during this road trip. 'The Silver Mermaid', where thirty dollars a night bought you a two person room complete with two beds, a t.v, with cable, a very lovely view of the motel swimming pool, and the best thing of all, a complimentary chocolate on your pillow. Agreeing that this was a good enough place, Lucy paid for the room, took the keys, and motioned for Mort to grab the bad and follow her to the room.

The room was, uniquely decorated to say the least. The floor was covered in an turquoise colored fluffy carpet, the wallpaper consisted of a underwater theme that included half naked mermaids all over, (hence the name of the place) and the beds were made up of different shades of blues and swirly, watery type patterns. In short, it looked like an underwater sex room. Which would explain the bemused looks on Mort's and Lucy's faces.

"Wow." it was Mort who was the first to speak. "This place is......... tacky."

"Yeah." Lucy couldn't help it anymore, she burst out laughing and had to lean against the doorway for support. Now long after Mort joined in on the little laugh fest. After their giggles had settled down, Lucy looked over the bed and almost started laughing again at what she saw.

"Oh my god! They're vibrating beds!"

"You know, it's amazing they don't charge more for these rooms." Mort mused sarcastically.

"Well what do say, how bout a ride?" Lucy asked him excitedly. "Whoever can stay on their bed the longest wins."

She's asking you to get on a vibrating bed, now remember what I told you about being nice.

Ignoring the voice in his head, Mort decided this could be an interesting little game. "And what does the winner get?"

"Hmmmmm....... oh, I got it! Now, judging by this place, I would say there is only enough hot water for one shower, so, winner gets the first shower. How bout it, are you game?" Lucy asked challenging.

Mort thought this over, and decided that a nice hot shower sounded pretty damn good, so, returning the challenging look to Lucy, he stuck out his hand and shook hers. "You're on."

"Ha, you're going down buddy." Lucy took out a couple of quarters, two for her and two for him, and handed him his. They both got on their own beds and got into position. (is it just me, or is this starting to sound a bit pornish? if it is, don't blame me, I was watching Boogie Nights yesterday)

"Ready?" Lucy asked.

"Ready."

"Okay, on the count of three. One........two.........three."

A/N: And there it is, chapter 5. What's gonna happen? Who will win the big vibrating bed match? You'll just have to wait and see! Ha. Deal with that my little dears.............. sorry, I'm bored. Anyways........... just so you all know, Taxi's is a real hamburger place, and they have the best food. It's like biting into a greasy sanctuary. Eating there reminds me how thankful I am for not being a vegetarian, but kudos to anyone who is. So, one last question and then I'll be done, I promise. What do you guys think of these 2 hooking? I wasn't going to at first, but now I'm starting to feel the itch to do so. They wouldn't become a couple or anything, and it wouldn't be in the next chapter, just a little, casual sex in one of the last chapters. Well, let me know what you think and there will be chocolate and vanilla covered Mort cookies for all.