DISCLAIMER: Oh yay! I get to do another one of these! (Small bit of sarcasm there) I don't own any of the FF7 characters in this story; they all belong to the nice people at Square Soft. (No fair!)

Author's Notes: Yay! I got two reviews already! My thanks go to The Flower Girl and Agent0042 for reading and reviewing my story! Wow, I never thought about Red before-good idea! I'll see what I can do! :) Yuffie? Sounds awesome! I can change the title I bet, and then it will work! :) Okay, this chapter is for Rufus.

This chapter takes place at the same time as the previous one, but since it has been two years since Meteor and Sephiroth were destroyed, the Shinra HQ in Midgar has been rebuilt. Which is where our story begins...

Rufus Shinra awoke in his bedroom on the 45th floor. (A.N. Well you go from floor one to 59 in the game, so what about the other floors? They have to be used for something!) He looked over at his alarm clock which read 4:15 am.

Rufus: "Well, an early start is better than a late one..."

He threw back the big black comforter on his bed and trudged into the bathroom, trying to flick the loose strands of his hair behind his ear...but three small pieces of it just wouldn't cooperate. He turned on the lights and looked in the mirror.

Rufus: "What in the name of SHINRA?! Oh God...I look like that SOLDIER-reject Cloud!!! Well, maybe not that bad...I could NEVER look that bad..."

Rufus smirks at his reflection in the mirror, and then goes back to trying to get the loose strands behind his ear again. After several tries at it, he gives up and goes back to his dresser for his gel and comb. He feels around for them, but they aren't there, so he turns on his overhead light to see if he left them somewhere else.

Rufus: "Well, that's funny...I could've sworn I left them here yesterday."

He starts tearing through his dresser throwing his clothes all over the floor. Five minutes go by and he still hasn't found them, all he has accomplished is making a big mess in his room.

Rufus: "I swear if this is another one of Reno's pranks again, he is not getting his next ten paychecks!!!"

Rufus stands up, kicks his clothes aside, and grabs his phone from off of the side table near his bed. Instead of calling Reno though, he calls Tseng. (A.N. Yes Tseng, I had him revived for this chapter, mwa ha ha! And Rufus too, obviously…) The phone rings twice and he starts to get impatient.

Rufus: "Damn it Tseng, pick up your phone!"

As if on cue, Tseng picks up right as Rufus is saying this. He moves the phone away from his ear until Rufus is done yelling, and then he answers.

Tseng: "...Sir?"

Rufus: "Oh hi Tseng, listen we have an emergency!"

Tseng sat and thought for a moment about what kind of emergency it could possibly be, but came up with nothing.

Tseng: "Sir, you do know what time it is don't you?"

Rufus: "Of course Tseng, it's 4:32."

Tseng: "Exactly. 4:32 in the MORNING."

Rufus: "Yes, and there is an EMERGENCY that I need you to help me take care of."

Tseng grumbles, but gets out of his bed and turns on the light. He opens his closet and gets out his Turk uniform, laying it on the bed.

Tseng: "Fine...give me a few minutes to get ready and I'll meet you outside my door."

Rufus: "Thank you, Tseng."

Tseng, thinking that Rufus has already hung up, starts to badmouth him since he woke him up so early.

Tseng: "I don't know why I still work here, considering that spoiled rotten, stuck up, rich brat is in cha-"

Rufus: "I heard that, Tseng! I am none of those things! And I pay you very well! If you don't want your job then I can easily find a replaceme-"

Tseng: "No sir, it's not that sir, I'm just very tired sir! I really do want my job!"

Rufus: "Fine then, now hurry up and get dressed already!"

Tseng: "Yes sir!"

Tseng hangs up the phone, and Rufus hangs up his. He chuckles as he changes into his white business suit.

Rufus: "Works every time..."

Once he is ready, he kicks more of his clothes out of the way and walks to Tseng's room. He waits for a few minutes and then Tseng comes out fixing his tie.

Tseng: "Oh, you're here already."

Rufus: "Yes, ready to go?"

Tseng: "Yes sir, but if I may ask one thing."

Rufus: "Shoot."

Tseng: "What is this emergency we have to take care of?"

Rufus: "(pointing to the three pieces of hair sticking straight up on his head) I can't find my gel and comb, and as you can see my hair is a mess. (pouts) I refuse to do anything unless my hair is perfect for the day, and I have a suspicion that Reno is behind this whole thing!"

If Tseng wasn't so good-natured, he would've clobbered Rufus over the head right then and there. But since he WAS so good-natured, he put his hands behind his back and nodded.

Tseng: "I...see...well...I suppose we should get going, then?"

Rufus: "Yes, there is no time to waste! My beautiful hair depends on it! (pouts)"

Tseng: "(mumbles) Beautiful? Well, that's definitely debatable..."

Rufus: "What was that, Tseng?"

Tseng: "Oh nothing, sir. I was just talking to myself."

Rufus: "Yes, I see that. (mumbles) You crazy bastard..."

Tseng: "What sir?"

Rufus: "Oh nothing...let's go."

Rufus and Tseng storm down the hallway to Reno's room, and Rufus pounds on the door.

Rufus: "Reno! Wake up right now! And open this door! I need to talk to you!!!"

Reno opens the door so fast that Rufus accidentally hits him in the head, making Reno angrier then when he first heard someone pounding on his door and realizing how early it was.

Reno: "Owwwww!!!!! What's the big $%#& deal here!? I am TRYING to sleep!! Just who the hell do you think you are, coming and knocking on my damn door this early in the morning!?"

Reno finally looks at who he is screaming at after rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He sees a very shocked Rufus standing before him, his jaw hanging open as if he had just been hit very hard and not expected it.

Rufus: "Wh-what did you just say to me?!"

Reno: "(scratches the back of his head) Oh, heh heh...hi boss! How are you this very nice morning?"

Rufus: "Nice try! Reno, if you value your job and your LIFE, you will NEVER say something like that to me again!"

Reno: "Sure thing, but what's the big deal waking me up so early?! Couldn't you find one of the others to go bother?! Not that it matters, since everyone else is either sleeping or at least TRYING to!"

Rufus: "(clears throat and steps aside so Reno can see Tseng) Oh really?"

Reno: "Oh heh heh, my mistake."

Rufus: "One of the many...I came here to see you, and if there are any problems...let's just say Tseng will take care of them."

Reno: "(grumbles) Fine. What do you need boss?"

Rufus: "I NEED my gel! AND my comb! Where are they, Reno?!"

Reno: "What?! What the hell are you talking about?!"

Rufus: "My hair gel and comb! Where are they!? Is this another one of your pranks?!"

Reno: "No!!!"

Rufus steps back and allows himself and Reno to calm down for a minute or two before continuing.

Rufus: "Oh, I see...sorry. I'll see you at work at the usual time then."

Reno: "Grrr…whatever, Dufus."

Reno slides the door shut and goes back to bed before Rufus can even say anything.

Tseng: "Hmm...I think that went very well, sir."

Rufus: "Shut up!!!"

Tseng: "(chuckles) Now where do we go?"

Rufus stops and thinks for a minute, and then he sees something big and black out of the corner of his eye.

Rufus: "Dark Nation?"

Tseng turns around and follows Rufus' gaze to see Dark Nation slowly walking towards them. The giant panther wobbles and is walking in a wavy line before it collapses in front of them. Rufus and Tseng rush over to it, Rufus almost in tears.

Tseng: "What did you feed it?"

Rufus: "Nothing yet!"

Tseng: "Uh-oh..."

Rufus: "What do you mean uh-oh?! Don't say uh-oh!!"

Tseng: "Uh-oh?"

Rufus glares at Tseng who offers a cheesy smile in return, and then he goes back to looking over Dark Nation.

Rufus: "Fine, what is 'uh-oh' for?"

Tseng: "I think it ate something bad...I think it ate your gel...and maybe your comb. Look..."

Tseng points to one of Dark Nation's teeth, and sure enough some of Rufus' gel is on it. Half of his comb is sticking out of its mouth as well.

Rufus: "Oh no!!"

Tseng: "Either that, or that is the strangest form of alcohol I have ever seen in my life."

Rufus just starts to glare at Tseng again for his new comment, so Tseng backs up a little.

Tseng: "Hey, it was just a thought...fine. I won't ever joke around about your pet panther again."

Rufus: "(sulking) That's not what I'm upset about!"

Tseng: "Oh? Then what are you upset about?"

Rufus continues to sulk and pout for a few moments more, until he starts to cry in front of a very surprised Tseng.

Rufus: "It-i-it........IT ATE MY GEL!!!!!! (sobs loudly)"

Tseng: "You're joking, right?"

Rufus: "Does it l-look like it?! What am I gonna d-do?! My poor hair is ruined!!! Ruined Tseng!!! Big dumbass panther had to get hungry!!!"

Tseng, watching this whole episode; could hardly believe his eyes. Here he was working for the richest man in the WORLD, and he saw that this man was now crying not because his pet might die from a rare case of what one would call 'food poisoning', if one could even call it that, but because his hair gel was eaten.

Tseng: "Sir, I don't mean to be rude but isn't your pet's health in danger right now?"

Rufus: "Screw it's health!! It shouldn't have eaten my gel damn it!!!"

Tseng: "But sir...you can always go out and buy more, you can't go out and buy another Dark Nation."

Rufus stops crying for a minute, considering this new idea of Tseng's. Tseng watches him curiously, wondering if he will burst into tears again.

Rufus: "Hmm...(sniff!) Maybe you're right; after all...a little fear does control the minds of the common people. There was never any need to waste money on them...which means...I HAVE TONS OF MONEY TO BUY HAIR GEL WITH!!!!! WOO-HOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tseng jumps a little at his sudden outburst, and then Elena's bedroom door opens slightly.

Elena: "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING HERE!!!!!!!"

Elena takes one of her high heels and throws it at Rufus, being so tired she doesn't notice it is him just like Reno didn't fifteen minutes ago.

WHAM!

The shoe hits Rufus right in the head and he passes out onto Dark Nation. Tseng sighs happily as he takes out his cell phone. He dials an ambulance for Dark Nation and Rufus, who might need an ice pack or two if he wants to work sometime that day.

Tseng: "I have the best girlfriend in the world..."

The End!

Author's Notes: Wow! I didn't think it would be this long! Or this crazy! Well, I hope you guys like it. Rufus is one of my favorites and for some reason I couldn't help but make him a bit...well, ditzy. Two reviews already! YAY!!! Sorry, can't help it. :) I don't know if this is as funny as the last one but I sure hope it is, if not more! Hey, I tried! So, if you read this...(you probably know the next part)...REVIEW!!! Please??? :)