This story is a sequel to The Great Plot Bunny Caper. If you haven't read that story already, do not worry. It didn't make any sense anyway.

The incidents depicted in this story are the products of a demented mind. Any similarities to a legitimate Hogan's Heroes Fan Fiction story, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

The standard disclaimer applies: I make no claims to any of the characters of the Hogan's Heroes universe.

The Revenge of the Plot Bunny
Part 1 – It's a MAD, MAD, MAD World!

Carter burst through the door of the barracks carrying what looked to be a magazine of some sorts and stopped in front of the table, out of breath. Everyone sitting at the table looked at him expectantly. He just stood there huffing and puffing.

"Blimey Carter," Newkirk exclaimed. "Can't you ever enter a room normally in one of these stories?"

"It's ... not ... my ... fault," Carter gasped. "I ... didn't ... write ... this ... scene."

He was silent again. Everyone continued to look at him, waiting for him to say something else.

"Are you going to tell us why you burst in here like that?" Kinch asked. "Or are you just going to stand there and show us your Big Bad Wolf impression?"

"Hey Kinch," Le Beau exclaimed, "the Big Bad Wolf was my code name in one episode, not Carter's code name!"

"Easy Mate," Newkirk said. "Nobody wants to take away your code name." Newkirk looked around the room at everyone, pointing his thumb at Le Beau. "Frenchmen are so temperamental, especially the short ones."

"I'm not short!" Le Beau cried. "I'm just small boned!"

"Hold it down fellas," Hogan said. "I think Carter has finally gotten his wind back." He looked at Carter. "Go ahead Carter."

"Right," Carter said. "Well, I got mail ..."

At the mention of the word, everyone in the room shouted "MAIL!!" and leaped onto the poor unsuspecting sergeant. There was a small melee on the floor of the barracks beside the table. Finally, Newkirk emerged from the pile holding the item that Carter had brought into the room.

"Carter," Newkirk said, "I thought you said you got the mail. This is the only thing you had, where's the rest of it?"

The pile cleared, and Carter got up, looking a bit disheveled. He grabbed a pair of jockey shorts that one-of-the-unnamed-extras-that-is-in-almost-every-episode was holding. "I'll have you know that I don't keep mail THERE!" he said angrily.

"Carter, are those little bunnies I see on those shorts?" Le Beau asked.

Carter flushed with embarrassment and stuffed the shorts into his pocket.

"Carter, what about the mail?" Newkirk asked again.

"I don't know Newkirk," Carter replied. "I didn't say I was bringing THE mail, I just said I got mail." He pointed to the item Newkirk was holding. "That's what I got. I thought Colonel Hogan should see it."

"Are you mad?" Newkirk asked. Hogan held his hand out to Newkirk, who placed the object into his hands.

Carter shook his head. "No I am not," he said. Then he pointed at what Colonel Hogan was now holding in his hands. "But THAT is!"

Hogan looked at it. It was a magazine. He looked at the issue date – January 1967. Oh no. Here we go again, he thought. "Carter, where did you get this ... this ... magazine?"

"From the mail carrier Colonel," Carter replied.

"The mail carrier!" Kinch exclaimed. "What is it?"

"It's a person that delivers the mail to the appropriate people as listed on the item being sent, Kinch," Carter said. "But that's not important now."

Everyone in the room stopped to look at Carter. "He's balmy, he is," Newkirk muttered.

"Colonel Hogan," Kinch said firmly, looking at Carter. "What is that in your hands?" He kept staring at Carter, daring him to make another remark.

"It's called MAD Magazine," Hogan replied. "And it's dated January 1967."

A collective groan emerged from all the men in the barracks.

"Is THAT guy back again?" Le Beau asked, looking around.

"I'm afraid so Le Beau," Hogan replied. "Looks like we're in for another bumpy ride."

"Colonel, it's not just the magazine," Carter said. "Look at what's in it."

Hogan leafed through the magazine. Suddenly he flipped back a page and stared at it. "Hokum's Heroes" he read out loud.

Everyone gathered to look over Colonel Hogan's shoulders, pointing and laughing.

"Look, there's the Colonel!" someone said laughing.

"And look at how they drew Le Beau!" someone else said.

"Alright, alright," Hogan exclaimed. "There will be enough time later to have your little laughs."

"But what does this mean?" Carter asked.

"Well ..." Hogan said.

Before he could finish, the barracks door opened again and Klink entered, holding several items in his hand. Schultz followed, shutting the door behind them. Klink walked up to Hogan and slammed the items he was holding on the table in front of the American Colonel.

"Hogan, can you explain these?" Klink asked.

Hogan looked at the table. "They look like comic books, Kommandant," he said.

"I know that," Klink said in an exasperated tone. "But look at the title!"

Hogan looked. "Hogan's Heroes" he said aloud. Everyone in the room looked at him.

"Well?" Klink said impatiently.

Hogan picked up the copy of MAD Magazine and handed it to Klink. "Here, look at this," he said.

Klink started thumbing through the magazine. Every so often he stopped at a page and read. Suddenly he chuckled. "I like this little white spy," he said. After flipping a few more pages, he stopped. "Hokum's Heroes?" he asked.

Hogan nodded. "You know what this means, don't you?" he asked Klink.

Klink started looking around. "Yes, it means that HE is back again," Klink responded.

"More than that," Hogan said. "It means that we will be the subject of a 1960's TV sitcom, several comic books, a parody in a spoof magazine, and who knows what else."

"How do you know all of this, Colonel Hogan?" Klink asked. "Do you have a secret radio that I don't know about?"

"Now Colonel," Hogan replied smiling, "if we had a radio that you knew about, it would hardly be a secret, would it?"

Klink nodded earnestly. "True, true," he said. "But how do you know all of these things?"

"It was easy," Hogan said. "I read it in the cards."

"Cards?" Klink asked, puzzled. "What cards?"

Hogan pointed over to the side of the barracks, where a slender man with a headset on was holding several large white sheets of cardboard with writing on them. "The cue cards."

Everyone looked over at the stage hand. He smiled sheepishly and waved to the cast. Nobody spoke. After a minute, the man held a hand up to one of the ear pieces of his headset, listening intently. Suddenly he nodded, and removed the front card that he was holding.

"It's about bloody time!" Newkirk exclaimed.

"You can't even get good help these days," Carter said.

"So what are you going to do about this, Colonel Hogan?" Klink asked, reading the new cue card.

Hogan picked up the comic books from the table and started passing them around. "I don't know about you Kommandant," he said, "but I am going to do a little reading while I wait for the next chapter."