The Revenge of the Plot Bunny
Part 5 – So Long, and Thanks for all the Plots
Everyone had moved outside of the barracks and were standing around looking at the compound.
"Well this is a nice change of pace," Klink said.
"Yes, but even our writer couldn't justify having the paratroopers land inside the barracks," Hogan replied.
"There may be some hope for him yet," Klink said.
"I wouldn't count on that," Hogan responded.
They were watching the Plot Burky stomp around the camp. Occasionally, he would stop stomping and let out his horrendous screech. As he stomped, he was dropping sheets of paper all around the compound.
"What are those?" Le Beau asked.
"Those are little plot bunnies," Kinch replied. "He's dropping them around so that they distract the other writers so that they can't finish their stories."
"The airborne troops better arrive soon, or else we will be stuck in this story forever," Hogan said.
Kinch shook his head. "No Colonel," he said. "When I was trapped in that empty wasteland, I found some more useful information."
"That must have been hard to do," Newkirk said.
"Not really," Kinch replied. "Since there was so little useful information in there, this bit stuck out like a sore thumb."
"Well?" Hogan asked.
"This story is only going to be 5 chapters long," Kinch said. "We're in chapter 5 now."
Hogan smiled. "Good," he said. "That should mean that the troops should be here right about now."
Suddenly they heard a plane flying overhead.
A short man in a white suit came running by. "De plane, de plane," he yelled. The men just stared at him as he ran by shouting. Then they looked at each other, speechless.
Within minutes, the airborne troops started dropping into the camp. Each of them was carrying a bundled set of paper in their hands.
"Look, over there," Newkirk said pointing. "That's our idiot writer."
"Yes, and look beside him," Le Beau said. "It's the musician carrying her oboe, and other oboe carrier on the other side. I don't think we'll have any trouble from him this time."
"Let's hope not," Hogan said.
"Why is he here?" Le Beau asked. "He's supposed to be working on this story at the moment."
"If so, then what's that he's carrying?" Newkirk asked.
"That's his story that is being beta read at the moment," Kinch replied.
"Oh, so that's why we had to go through another one of these stories," Le Beau said.
"Yes, too much time on his hands," Hogan replied.
Klink pointed to the other side of the compound. "There's the one that corrected us on the color of your jacket."
"I see," Hogan said. "And look at those two over there. They look pretty confident."
"Yes," Klink replied. "It's almost as if they think this is some sort of game."
Carter was pointing to the far side of the compound. "Look in the sky above that one," he said.
Hogan looked around. "Carter? Welcome back," he said. "Yes, looks like there's some flak in the air."
"There's a whole bunch more over there Colonel," Kinch said pointing.
Hogan looked. "It looks like they sent the whole bunch out to help us," he said. "That one even has three bundles in her hands."
"Must be a trilogy," Klink said.
"So just what are those things they are carrying?" Le Beau asked.
"They are the completed stories," Kinch replied. "From what I gathered of the plot of this, those completed stories will drive away the evil Plot Burky."
"I wonder if this means that I will finally get out of that ravine," Hogan said.
"I wouldn't doubt if that will happen some day soon," Klink said. "But first they have to take care of this little problem."
"What are they doing?" Carter asked.
"It looks like they are driving him towards the swamp with those completed stories," Hogan replied.
"We have a swamp?" Carter asked. "I never noticed a swamp in camp before."
"Sure, it's over by the well," Newkirk said. "You didn't notice it because you were busy climbing in the well wearing just your underwear."
"Don't remind me," Carter responded.
"Look, the plan is working!" Kinch exclaimed.
The men watched the writers wave their completed stories at the Plot Burky. It waved its arms, trying to shield its face from the waving prose. It backed away from the large group in terror.
"There it goes," Hogan said as the Plot Burky reached the edge of the swamp. He raised his hand and started to wave at the creature as it stepped slowly into the swamp, disappearing from sight.
The rest of the men gathered around also began waving.
Hogan looked over at the edge of the compound. He saw a tall man in a white suit standing there. Beside him was the very short man that yelled when the plane arrived. Both of them were also waving at the Plot Burky.
Once the Plot Burky disappeared into the swamp, the airborne troops began to disperse. They all waved as they disappeared into the woods outside of camp. The sun was setting over the treetops to the west.
"Well, I guess that takes care of that," Hogan said. "Now maybe we can get back to some normalcy around here."
Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief and started into the barracks. Carter headed for his bunk, looking underneath it.
"What are you doing Carter?" Hogan asked.
"I'm going to take my bunny out tonight," Carter replied.
Everyone started laughing. Carter looked around at everyone confused.
"What did I say that was so funny?" he asked.
"Nothing Carter," Newkirk said. "You weren't in that chapter of the story!"