Hello again! Much thanks to reviewers, of course, feel free to submit more. ;o) Here are the next two chapters. This one contains song lyrics by Alanis Morissette (I apologize if it gives you the urge to kill yourself). They are in bold italic.
Chapter 10.
Two hours later, I woke up in Abby's bed for the second time in one weekend. 'Amazing,' I thought, 'that you can start off a Friday night with 'let's eat chocolate and watch Thelma and Louise' and be up to 'I love you' by eight-thirty on Sunday.' I glanced at the clock next to me, sighed, and slowly got up.
"Abby," I said, gently shaking her, "it's ten-thirty. I've got to go." She woke up enough to slip on her pyjamas and kiss me goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, already wondering what school was going to be like the next day. I left the house quietly, running into Mrs Stevenson, who was just arriving home from something or other. Honestly, I don't know how Abby copes, alone so much. It would drive me mad. I suppose it's not so bad when Anna's home, but she was staying over at a friend's house that night to get a big joint project finished. I explained to Mrs Stevenson that Abby had already fallen asleep and walked home happily, trying not to look like I had just single-handedly won the World Series. As I had suspected, certain downstairs lights were most definitely on, no doubt waiting to see if I would be home on time tonight. I walked into the kitchen looking as tired as I could (not hard, believe me), and greeted my parents. I stopped to get a glass of water to give them time to question me if they felt they had to. Apparently, they didn't think it was the right time. So I told them that I was going to bed, said goodnight, and went upstairs to my room.
I think it was about two in the morning before I gave up on the idea of sleep completely. I had lain in bed for a few hours, and they had felt like an eternity. I couldn't handle just laying there, listening to my family sleep. So I grabbed a couple of my favourite books, my diary, a pen and my personal CD player, and crept downstairs to the kitchen. I made myself a sandwich, put my earphones in and lazily pressed play, wondering which CD was in there, since I hadn't I bothered to check. I was surprised, for some reason, and not exactly thrilled to find that it was my rather old Alanis Morissette CD. The song 'Perfect' came on, loudly reminding me of my earlier thoughts.
Sometimes is never quite enough. If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place. Don't forget to keep that smile on your face
Be a good boy, try a little harder
You've got to measure up and make me prouder.
How long before you screw it up? And how many times do I have to tell you to hurry up?
With everything I do for you the least you can do is keep quiet
Be a good girl, you've got to try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough to make us proud
I'll live through you, I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I, Compared to him, compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good - you'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem... why are you crying?
Be a good boy push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough to make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are... if you're perfect.
If you've ever had that thing happen, where you hear a song that absolutely describes how you're feeling at that precise moment, then you'll know what I mean when I say it ripped my insides out. I turned off the CD, and wrote in my diary for a few hours instead. At 5am I crept back upstairs to my bedroom, got into bed, laid down and tried to prepare my mind for my first day at school with a girlfriend, paranoid about my family, feeling terrible about myself and on absolutely no sleep.