Commentator 4: Hello, and welcome to the thrilling new instalment of The Tournament of Robots! As you may remember, last time I kicked Commentator 3's ass, so he's buried under the building's grounds. Instead, let's welcome...Commentator 5!
Commentator 5: Hello, I'm Commentator 5.
Commentator 4: Welcome to ChristSaviour's sick fighting game.
Commentator 5: I'm damn happy to be here. Who are the contestants for today?
Commentator 4: Well, our first contestant is a strangely rebuilt robot, horribly made from the corpse of the greatest warrior of all time...
Commentator 5: (Interrupting) Yeah, yeah, aren't they all?
Commentator 4: And he's bringing a blade, an exoskeleton and stealth camo to this match.
Commentator 5: Stealth camo? Sounds like a damn wussy.
(An annoyed grunt is heard coming from behind Commentator 5. Suddenly, Cyborg Ninja appears behind him and slits his throat. Commentator 5 drops down, dead, not even knowing what hit him. Cut to ChristSaviour's office.)
ChristSaviour: Oh, damn, why do these commentators always die?
Random Guy: Maybe because they get involved in fricking deathmatches with incredibly violent opponenents.
ChristSaviour: Who asked for your opinion?
Random Guy: You did, dumbass.
ChristSaviour: I happened to be talking to myself.
Random Guy: Aw, damn, I thought I'd made a friend.
ChristSaviour: Get out of my office. (Goes back to watching the fight. Commentator 4 is trying to introduce the next opponent while police are trying to arrest him and investigate the murder.)
Commentator 4: And, let's introduce his opponent, Yoshi...
Police Officer: (Interrupting) I'd like to take you in for questioning.
Commentator 4: (Ignoring him) A robot built by the drunk Doctor Boskono...
Police Officer: You don't have to say anything, but anything you do say may be taken down as evidence against...
Commentator 4: Yeah yeah yeah. Apparently Japanese, although that is denied by the Japanese goverment, the opponent is...
Police Officer: You're under arrest for the suspected murder of Commentator 5.
Commentator 4: In a minute.
(Police officers begin handcuffing him)
Commentator 4: (headbutts and kicks the officers around him down) So anyway, tonight Cyborg Ninja will be facing off against...Yoshimitsu!
Police Officer: You're also under arrest for resisting arrest.
Commentator 4: Bollocks.
(Yoshimitsu comes down to the ring as Commentator 4 is lead forcefully into the van. Cyborg Ninja does a massive somersault/flip form the commentator's box into the ring. Yoshimitsu draws his sword and prepares to do battle)
Referee: So, Yoshimitsu, where are you from?
Yoshimitsu: Uh...ask the Japanese goverment. They're just deciding if they should declare me Chinese or American.
Referee: Oh, right. Cyborg Ninja, where have you come from for this bllod-filled extravaganza of a match?
Cyborg Ninja: (To Yoshimitsu) I have come from another world to do battle with you!
Referee: No, only backstage.
Cyborg Ninja: Shut up! (Chops off Referee's arm, disabling him.)
Yoshimitsu: Namu namu namu namu namu!
Cyborg Ninja: (Question mark appears above head) Huh?
(Yoshimitsu uses Cyborg Ninja's distraction as an oppurtunity to make the first strike, slashing downwards through Cyborg Ninja's chest, but Cyborg Ninja blocks it easily and parries, leaving Yoshimitsu open for attack.)
Yoshimitsu: Oh shit! I gotta get out of here! (Crouches down in the lotus position, spinning around faster and faster chanting, until he disappears, just in time to escape Cyborg Ninja's attack. Yoshimitsu reappears in the crowd stands with Cyborg Ninja there, ready to attack.)
Cyborg Ninja: I'm here.
Yoshimitsu: Fuck. (Tries to attack Cyborg Ninja. Cyborg Ninja somersaults out of the way, Yoshimitsu blade instead going into the person behind where Cyborg Ninja was standing. Yoshimitsu once again does the spinning thing, to get to where Cyborg Ninja had jumped to.)
Cyborg Ninja: (Leaning against the wall, with the visor of his helmet up, smoking a cigarette as though Yoshimitu had been ages) What took you so long?
(Yoshimitsu decides that Cyborg Ninja is too much to handle on his own, and does the Soul Divide, splitting into two sepearte copies of himself. Each does the same agin, until there are hundreds of Yoshimitsus.)
Yoshimitsus: (All together) Attack! Attack! (They charge as an army towards Cyborg Ninja, who is too quick for them, and jumps up, turning stealth camoflauge on halfway through the air, so the Yoshimitsus don't know where he is. Suddenly, a group of Yoshimitsus all get their throats slit. Next, a few more do, in a different place. The Yoshimitsus all try to attack where Cyborg Ninja was, but he has already dissapeared, leaving the Yoshimitsus stabbing each other, until all but the original is left, many cuts on him from the Yoshimitsus.)
Yoshimitsu: That's the lat time I try that trick.
(Cyborg Ninja appears fleetingly in front of Yoshimitsu, then dissapears and does another flip.)
Cyborg Ninja: Hurry up and catch me!
Yoshimitsu: Why? It's not a timed match, is it? Oh, God, it is a timed match isn't it? Is it really a timed match?
(While Yoshimitsu is worrying, Cyborg Ninja sneaks up behind him and stabs him in the back. Yoshimitsu, trying to escape, does the Deathcopter with his sword. However, once he gets up into the air, he realises that the sword is still going through him, with Cyborg Ninja hanging off it. They start to fall, so Cyborg Ninja does his flip thing and lands safely on his feet. Yoshimitsu tries to do the lotus-flower teleport thing, but it is too slow, and he hits the ground while still chanting 'namu namu namu...'. Upon impact, he explodes, with the crowd rushing up to grab pieces of him as souvenirs.)
Commentator 5: Hello, I'm Commentator 5.
Commentator 4: Welcome to ChristSaviour's sick fighting game.
Commentator 5: I'm damn happy to be here. Who are the contestants for today?
Commentator 4: Well, our first contestant is a strangely rebuilt robot, horribly made from the corpse of the greatest warrior of all time...
Commentator 5: (Interrupting) Yeah, yeah, aren't they all?
Commentator 4: And he's bringing a blade, an exoskeleton and stealth camo to this match.
Commentator 5: Stealth camo? Sounds like a damn wussy.
(An annoyed grunt is heard coming from behind Commentator 5. Suddenly, Cyborg Ninja appears behind him and slits his throat. Commentator 5 drops down, dead, not even knowing what hit him. Cut to ChristSaviour's office.)
ChristSaviour: Oh, damn, why do these commentators always die?
Random Guy: Maybe because they get involved in fricking deathmatches with incredibly violent opponenents.
ChristSaviour: Who asked for your opinion?
Random Guy: You did, dumbass.
ChristSaviour: I happened to be talking to myself.
Random Guy: Aw, damn, I thought I'd made a friend.
ChristSaviour: Get out of my office. (Goes back to watching the fight. Commentator 4 is trying to introduce the next opponent while police are trying to arrest him and investigate the murder.)
Commentator 4: And, let's introduce his opponent, Yoshi...
Police Officer: (Interrupting) I'd like to take you in for questioning.
Commentator 4: (Ignoring him) A robot built by the drunk Doctor Boskono...
Police Officer: You don't have to say anything, but anything you do say may be taken down as evidence against...
Commentator 4: Yeah yeah yeah. Apparently Japanese, although that is denied by the Japanese goverment, the opponent is...
Police Officer: You're under arrest for the suspected murder of Commentator 5.
Commentator 4: In a minute.
(Police officers begin handcuffing him)
Commentator 4: (headbutts and kicks the officers around him down) So anyway, tonight Cyborg Ninja will be facing off against...Yoshimitsu!
Police Officer: You're also under arrest for resisting arrest.
Commentator 4: Bollocks.
(Yoshimitsu comes down to the ring as Commentator 4 is lead forcefully into the van. Cyborg Ninja does a massive somersault/flip form the commentator's box into the ring. Yoshimitsu draws his sword and prepares to do battle)
Referee: So, Yoshimitsu, where are you from?
Yoshimitsu: Uh...ask the Japanese goverment. They're just deciding if they should declare me Chinese or American.
Referee: Oh, right. Cyborg Ninja, where have you come from for this bllod-filled extravaganza of a match?
Cyborg Ninja: (To Yoshimitsu) I have come from another world to do battle with you!
Referee: No, only backstage.
Cyborg Ninja: Shut up! (Chops off Referee's arm, disabling him.)
Yoshimitsu: Namu namu namu namu namu!
Cyborg Ninja: (Question mark appears above head) Huh?
(Yoshimitsu uses Cyborg Ninja's distraction as an oppurtunity to make the first strike, slashing downwards through Cyborg Ninja's chest, but Cyborg Ninja blocks it easily and parries, leaving Yoshimitsu open for attack.)
Yoshimitsu: Oh shit! I gotta get out of here! (Crouches down in the lotus position, spinning around faster and faster chanting, until he disappears, just in time to escape Cyborg Ninja's attack. Yoshimitsu reappears in the crowd stands with Cyborg Ninja there, ready to attack.)
Cyborg Ninja: I'm here.
Yoshimitsu: Fuck. (Tries to attack Cyborg Ninja. Cyborg Ninja somersaults out of the way, Yoshimitsu blade instead going into the person behind where Cyborg Ninja was standing. Yoshimitsu once again does the spinning thing, to get to where Cyborg Ninja had jumped to.)
Cyborg Ninja: (Leaning against the wall, with the visor of his helmet up, smoking a cigarette as though Yoshimitu had been ages) What took you so long?
(Yoshimitsu decides that Cyborg Ninja is too much to handle on his own, and does the Soul Divide, splitting into two sepearte copies of himself. Each does the same agin, until there are hundreds of Yoshimitsus.)
Yoshimitsus: (All together) Attack! Attack! (They charge as an army towards Cyborg Ninja, who is too quick for them, and jumps up, turning stealth camoflauge on halfway through the air, so the Yoshimitsus don't know where he is. Suddenly, a group of Yoshimitsus all get their throats slit. Next, a few more do, in a different place. The Yoshimitsus all try to attack where Cyborg Ninja was, but he has already dissapeared, leaving the Yoshimitsus stabbing each other, until all but the original is left, many cuts on him from the Yoshimitsus.)
Yoshimitsu: That's the lat time I try that trick.
(Cyborg Ninja appears fleetingly in front of Yoshimitsu, then dissapears and does another flip.)
Cyborg Ninja: Hurry up and catch me!
Yoshimitsu: Why? It's not a timed match, is it? Oh, God, it is a timed match isn't it? Is it really a timed match?
(While Yoshimitsu is worrying, Cyborg Ninja sneaks up behind him and stabs him in the back. Yoshimitsu, trying to escape, does the Deathcopter with his sword. However, once he gets up into the air, he realises that the sword is still going through him, with Cyborg Ninja hanging off it. They start to fall, so Cyborg Ninja does his flip thing and lands safely on his feet. Yoshimitsu tries to do the lotus-flower teleport thing, but it is too slow, and he hits the ground while still chanting 'namu namu namu...'. Upon impact, he explodes, with the crowd rushing up to grab pieces of him as souvenirs.)