Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter
A/N: In case you didn't catch it, Snape was the one that died. If it gets kind of confusing, it's supposed to be don't worry. Harry is thinking and I write it into what he's doing, no italics or anything – mainly because if I was in this kind of situation I'd be pretty damn confused as well. I just want the reader to be able to relate to the character... kind of... Oh and another note this is NOT like the Butterfly Effect. I watched that movie this morning and no... that's not what I'm doing with this. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!
Until Death and After
Chapter Two: Head Pains
"Can we continue Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.
I nodded and shook my head slightly. Severus Snape continued to teach as I quickly thought of what could have happened. Hermione tapped my back. Hermione? "Are you okay Harry?" she asked quietly.
I shook my head. "Fine," I was a walking oxymoron.
She laughed lightly. "You body doesn't think so. Are you sure?"
I nodded this time. "Yep," I said and smiled lightly.
She messed up my hair as I turned around. What happened in my seventh year? Why didn't I remember this? The next thing I knew class was being dismissed. Ron grabbed my arm and followed quickly behind Hermione. "Mr. Potter, where are you going?" Snape asked.
"Next class," I said.
Ron stared blankly at me. Snape raised an eyebrow. "This is your last class. I gave you a detention. Do you remember? Or did you fall asleep again?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No sir, I remember," I walked away from Ron. "Sorry, sir."
I waited for the last student to leave and then, on impulse, lunged at Snape and hugged him. "P... Potter," he shoved me off of him. He looked to make sure the door was closed. "What are you doing?"
"You're okay," I said.
I guessed my eyes were filling with tears. "Another nightmare Harry?" he asked and sat down.
How did he know about my nightmares? Did he just call me Harry? He sat down at his desk and motioned for me to sit across from him. "Yeah," I said.
Should I tell him about what just happened to me? "Feel like telling me?" he started at me with his bold eyes.
I rubbed one of my arms. "I dreamt that me and Draco –"
"Draco and I," he corrected.
I rolled my eyes. "I dream that Draco and I were standing in a graveyard, and it was your tombstone. Supposedly... I mean... You died from suicide, and for some reason, I blamed myself," I said.
He blinked for a second and seemed stunned. "I... I was in your dream?" he asked. "I know why Draco was there... but me?"
"Well you were just referred too," I said. "Why was Draco there?"
Snape rolled his eyes at me. "Don't be stupid Harry," he said.
"It's hard," I said.
"Do you want my analysis on it?" he asked.
We were talking like we were actually friends. "Sure," I smiled at the older man.
"Well," he seemed slightly nervous. "You could look at it in two different ways, the first being that you are worried that..."
Quickly, I tuned out his dribble to try to decide what was actually going on. I was an adult stuck in a child form of... well... me in a situation I don't remember being in. Should I tell Severus what happened? I'm so confused. I put my head in my hands and watched the man talked. I had no idea what he was saying of course, I didn't really have a dream like that – it was my reality. It didn't matter anyway, maybe I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. He'd be dead and I'd be alive and... manically depressed, but alive. I chuckled to myself and watched Snape give me an odd look, but continued his analysis. I watched him carefully. Maybe I should just make the best of the situation that I was in. He did seem real, and Hermione's touch felt so real. When, in school, did I have long meaningless conversations with Snape? I quickly corrected myself – Severus.
I think he noticed that I had tuned him out, since he stopped talking for a moment. His dark eyes watched me watch him. He was rather attractive... and I'm old enough. Mentally, we WERE the same age. I felt some pains shoot through my head. "Did you fall asleep again Potter?" he seemed quite frustrated with me.
Potter? I've stepped down. "Sorry, sir," I started. "I'm afraid I'm not myself."
He smiled lightly. "Maybe you should just get some rest," he said.
He stood up to show me up. I watched him walk over to me. He touched my shoulder lightly. "Come on," he said.
I stood up and looked at his hand. I felt my stomach jump at his touch, as well as the pain in my head become greater. I fell to my knees, as the pain immediately grew worse. I felt like screaming, but my throat burned. It felt like something was tearing through my head. Tears streamed down my face. Tears? Instead of the salty devils I was used too, red gobs poured off my face. Snape was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. It hurts. What was that noise? I was screaming. Was that me? I covered my ears, not wanting to hear my screams anymore. I curled myself into a ball as I felt blood pour from ears. He had his arms around me. I looked up to see Severus carrying me someplace. I wasn't screaming anymore. The more I watched him, the more the pain grew worse and worse. What was I doing? The pain was too much. I couldn't fight against it anymore. I easily knocked myself into a state of unconsciousness.
I felt my eyes open. My back was against a hard surface. Was I back on the road? I rubbed my eyes to clear the gray that was in front of my face. I heard noise around me. I was sitting in water. I listening to the swishing of waves and looked at the metal in front of me. Was I in a coffin? I touched it, causing a chill to go through my spine. It was a coffin. "Hey," I screamed. "I'm alive! Don't bury me!"
Maybe I was underground already. Maybe the car crash killed me. I looked down at my chest carefully. I didn't have my glasses on – that's why everything was so fuzzy. I shook my head and tried to sit up. Of course, I hit my head on the ceiling. I cursed myself for being stupid. I felt the ceiling shift as Ron – young Ron – looked down at me. "Are you relaxed Harry?" he asked.
"What the hell? I was in a fucking tin can. No Ron, I'm NOT relaxed," I said, ignoring my inner child telling me not to swear.
He shrugged. "It's supposed to be a relaxing chamber," he said. "It was working... when you were unconscious."
"How is that going to help?" I asked looking at the outside of the container.
Ron laughed. "No clue. I wasn't the one that suggested it. It was just my shift because Madam Pomfrey said you might feel a little uncomfortable when you regained your consciousness."
I stepped out of the horror dome. "A LITTLE uncomfortable? I thought you people buried me alive," I said and shivered lightly.
"Sorry," Ron said. "I didn't think it was a good idea either."
I shook my head. "What happened to me?" I asked.
Ron handed me a towel. "Not a clue," he said. "Professor Snape brought you in and you were a mess. Madam Pomfrey thinks it was stress, but we don't really know. Are you feeling a bit better?"
I'm still stuck someplace in time. No, I'm not okay. "Yeah, I think so," I said.
He handed me my glasses. "I'll let someone know you're up."
I sat down on the hospital bed and watched Ron walk off. I never was sick in the seventh year. "Hey Potter," Draco Malfoy walked into the room that I was in.
Normally I'd smile an acknowledge him, but I didn't have a great relationship with him in school. "Hello Malfoy," I avoided any eye contact with him.
He sat down beside me. We weren't friends... were we? "Are you okay?" he turned to look at me.
I looked into his gray eyes for a moment. Did I have feelings for Malfoy too? My head stared to ache again. I looked away. "I guess," I said.
He pulled a container from his pocket. "Here," he handed it to me.
I took it and looked at the silver liquid inside. "What is it?" I asked.
"It's like an aspirin. It should make you feel a little better," he said.
I swirled the liquid around in the container. A memory flashed through my head. "Do I drink it?" I asked, hypnotized by the spinning concoction.
He nodded. "Yeah," he said.
When did I drink this? "Right now?"
"If you'd like," he said.
I shook my head. "Do you mind if I wait?" I asked. "I don't really want to set it off again," I said.
"Sure Potter," he smiled devilishly. "See ya later."
He touched my hand and stood. My head started to ring again as I watched him leave. He was beginning to remember the Draco I know. His hair was about shoulder-length and shaped his face nicely. I touched my ears, feeling the blood that started to seek out. I stopped thinking about him and tried to decide what I was going to do. I lay back on the bed and hoped that an answer would come to me in my sleep.
A/N: In case you didn't catch it, Snape was the one that died. If it gets kind of confusing, it's supposed to be don't worry. Harry is thinking and I write it into what he's doing, no italics or anything – mainly because if I was in this kind of situation I'd be pretty damn confused as well. I just want the reader to be able to relate to the character... kind of... Oh and another note this is NOT like the Butterfly Effect. I watched that movie this morning and no... that's not what I'm doing with this. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!
Until Death and After
Chapter Two: Head Pains
"Can we continue Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.
I nodded and shook my head slightly. Severus Snape continued to teach as I quickly thought of what could have happened. Hermione tapped my back. Hermione? "Are you okay Harry?" she asked quietly.
I shook my head. "Fine," I was a walking oxymoron.
She laughed lightly. "You body doesn't think so. Are you sure?"
I nodded this time. "Yep," I said and smiled lightly.
She messed up my hair as I turned around. What happened in my seventh year? Why didn't I remember this? The next thing I knew class was being dismissed. Ron grabbed my arm and followed quickly behind Hermione. "Mr. Potter, where are you going?" Snape asked.
"Next class," I said.
Ron stared blankly at me. Snape raised an eyebrow. "This is your last class. I gave you a detention. Do you remember? Or did you fall asleep again?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No sir, I remember," I walked away from Ron. "Sorry, sir."
I waited for the last student to leave and then, on impulse, lunged at Snape and hugged him. "P... Potter," he shoved me off of him. He looked to make sure the door was closed. "What are you doing?"
"You're okay," I said.
I guessed my eyes were filling with tears. "Another nightmare Harry?" he asked and sat down.
How did he know about my nightmares? Did he just call me Harry? He sat down at his desk and motioned for me to sit across from him. "Yeah," I said.
Should I tell him about what just happened to me? "Feel like telling me?" he started at me with his bold eyes.
I rubbed one of my arms. "I dreamt that me and Draco –"
"Draco and I," he corrected.
I rolled my eyes. "I dream that Draco and I were standing in a graveyard, and it was your tombstone. Supposedly... I mean... You died from suicide, and for some reason, I blamed myself," I said.
He blinked for a second and seemed stunned. "I... I was in your dream?" he asked. "I know why Draco was there... but me?"
"Well you were just referred too," I said. "Why was Draco there?"
Snape rolled his eyes at me. "Don't be stupid Harry," he said.
"It's hard," I said.
"Do you want my analysis on it?" he asked.
We were talking like we were actually friends. "Sure," I smiled at the older man.
"Well," he seemed slightly nervous. "You could look at it in two different ways, the first being that you are worried that..."
Quickly, I tuned out his dribble to try to decide what was actually going on. I was an adult stuck in a child form of... well... me in a situation I don't remember being in. Should I tell Severus what happened? I'm so confused. I put my head in my hands and watched the man talked. I had no idea what he was saying of course, I didn't really have a dream like that – it was my reality. It didn't matter anyway, maybe I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. He'd be dead and I'd be alive and... manically depressed, but alive. I chuckled to myself and watched Snape give me an odd look, but continued his analysis. I watched him carefully. Maybe I should just make the best of the situation that I was in. He did seem real, and Hermione's touch felt so real. When, in school, did I have long meaningless conversations with Snape? I quickly corrected myself – Severus.
I think he noticed that I had tuned him out, since he stopped talking for a moment. His dark eyes watched me watch him. He was rather attractive... and I'm old enough. Mentally, we WERE the same age. I felt some pains shoot through my head. "Did you fall asleep again Potter?" he seemed quite frustrated with me.
Potter? I've stepped down. "Sorry, sir," I started. "I'm afraid I'm not myself."
He smiled lightly. "Maybe you should just get some rest," he said.
He stood up to show me up. I watched him walk over to me. He touched my shoulder lightly. "Come on," he said.
I stood up and looked at his hand. I felt my stomach jump at his touch, as well as the pain in my head become greater. I fell to my knees, as the pain immediately grew worse. I felt like screaming, but my throat burned. It felt like something was tearing through my head. Tears streamed down my face. Tears? Instead of the salty devils I was used too, red gobs poured off my face. Snape was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. It hurts. What was that noise? I was screaming. Was that me? I covered my ears, not wanting to hear my screams anymore. I curled myself into a ball as I felt blood pour from ears. He had his arms around me. I looked up to see Severus carrying me someplace. I wasn't screaming anymore. The more I watched him, the more the pain grew worse and worse. What was I doing? The pain was too much. I couldn't fight against it anymore. I easily knocked myself into a state of unconsciousness.
I felt my eyes open. My back was against a hard surface. Was I back on the road? I rubbed my eyes to clear the gray that was in front of my face. I heard noise around me. I was sitting in water. I listening to the swishing of waves and looked at the metal in front of me. Was I in a coffin? I touched it, causing a chill to go through my spine. It was a coffin. "Hey," I screamed. "I'm alive! Don't bury me!"
Maybe I was underground already. Maybe the car crash killed me. I looked down at my chest carefully. I didn't have my glasses on – that's why everything was so fuzzy. I shook my head and tried to sit up. Of course, I hit my head on the ceiling. I cursed myself for being stupid. I felt the ceiling shift as Ron – young Ron – looked down at me. "Are you relaxed Harry?" he asked.
"What the hell? I was in a fucking tin can. No Ron, I'm NOT relaxed," I said, ignoring my inner child telling me not to swear.
He shrugged. "It's supposed to be a relaxing chamber," he said. "It was working... when you were unconscious."
"How is that going to help?" I asked looking at the outside of the container.
Ron laughed. "No clue. I wasn't the one that suggested it. It was just my shift because Madam Pomfrey said you might feel a little uncomfortable when you regained your consciousness."
I stepped out of the horror dome. "A LITTLE uncomfortable? I thought you people buried me alive," I said and shivered lightly.
"Sorry," Ron said. "I didn't think it was a good idea either."
I shook my head. "What happened to me?" I asked.
Ron handed me a towel. "Not a clue," he said. "Professor Snape brought you in and you were a mess. Madam Pomfrey thinks it was stress, but we don't really know. Are you feeling a bit better?"
I'm still stuck someplace in time. No, I'm not okay. "Yeah, I think so," I said.
He handed me my glasses. "I'll let someone know you're up."
I sat down on the hospital bed and watched Ron walk off. I never was sick in the seventh year. "Hey Potter," Draco Malfoy walked into the room that I was in.
Normally I'd smile an acknowledge him, but I didn't have a great relationship with him in school. "Hello Malfoy," I avoided any eye contact with him.
He sat down beside me. We weren't friends... were we? "Are you okay?" he turned to look at me.
I looked into his gray eyes for a moment. Did I have feelings for Malfoy too? My head stared to ache again. I looked away. "I guess," I said.
He pulled a container from his pocket. "Here," he handed it to me.
I took it and looked at the silver liquid inside. "What is it?" I asked.
"It's like an aspirin. It should make you feel a little better," he said.
I swirled the liquid around in the container. A memory flashed through my head. "Do I drink it?" I asked, hypnotized by the spinning concoction.
He nodded. "Yeah," he said.
When did I drink this? "Right now?"
"If you'd like," he said.
I shook my head. "Do you mind if I wait?" I asked. "I don't really want to set it off again," I said.
"Sure Potter," he smiled devilishly. "See ya later."
He touched my hand and stood. My head started to ring again as I watched him leave. He was beginning to remember the Draco I know. His hair was about shoulder-length and shaped his face nicely. I touched my ears, feeling the blood that started to seek out. I stopped thinking about him and tried to decide what I was going to do. I lay back on the bed and hoped that an answer would come to me in my sleep.