Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter
A/N: Umm... Thanks for the reviews! It's wonderful hearing all the comments! Oh, and I personally do not think there is anything wrong with being a homosexual, it's just that Harry is unbelievably confused and that's how I'm having him express his feelings. There is an important Author's note at the end. Well maybe not important, but it's more on update information. Enjoy!
Until Death and After
Chapter Four: My Mistake
Rain pounded against the window of the room I was in. I felt my nose twitch lightly. I smiled, realizing that my head no longer ached. I opened my eyes and looked around my room. It was completely dark causing me to pull the covers closer to me. Lightening quickly lit up the room as I saw something shuffle in the distance. I watched the dark corner, awaiting another sign of life. The thunder that rolled startled me causing a yelp to escape from my mouth. Lightening stuck again as I saw the figure shift and moan slightly. "W-Who's there?" I asked into the eerie darkness.
A grunt came from the silhouette. "Who the fuck else would it be Potter?" I heard a yawn. "I mean... it's the middle of the night, maybe later. I was assignment to watch you, even though each time I'm left alone with you... well... it doesn't usually end well."
"Severus?" I squinted and asked.
He strolled closer to me and moved to a chair. "Professor Snape actually," he said. "Did you drink any of the liquid Mr. Malfoy gave you?"
I turned to see him better. "No," I said.
I heard him sigh lightly. "Do you think you're going to be able to fall back asleep?" he asked.
"Yeah," I smiled, not that he could see. "Thanks."
His hair moved slightly as he attempted to get out of the chair. I guessed he was tired. He stopped once he stood up. "I don't mean to be rude," he started. I don't think he realized I was watching him. "But I was wondering if I could talk to you. Since, well, last time we were discussing dreams, and..."
I cut him off, realizing that I might not have wanted to actually sleep; "It's fine. I don't mind at all," I said.
He slumped back down in the chair, and put his feet up on the end of my bed. "Well, when I was sleeping... before you – accidentally – woke me up. I was having this nightmare," his head tilted up, as if he could still see it. "I was dying I think; the thing was, was that I was killing myself. I was saying," his head shifted to look at me. "Well, I don't remember what I was saying," I guessed he was lying. "But... it felt so real... I don't really know what to think of it."
"Yesterday," I started. "You were talking about another dream and you asked if I had it?"
His shaded figure nodded. "Yes."
"I did," I said.
I watched both of his eyebrows rise. He moved his feet off of my bed and faced me. "You did?" he said, in a calm manner. His hand moved behind his neck. "Why did you flip at me?"
I didn't have an answer, since I wasn't the Harry he thought I was. I quickly thought out a response. I would tell him that the potion made Draco and I switch places, but... he probably already found out what the potion did. The truth would sound made up, not that it mattered. "Can I be honest with you?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I don't see why not," I noticed his lips turn into a small smile.
"Well, I do. Don't think I'm crazy," I didn't give him a chance to comment. "You know when you woke me up in class? The most recent time, I mean."
"Yes..."
"Seconds before that I was hit by a car. Minutes before being hit, I was standing at your tombstone with Draco Malfoy," I said.
He nodded. "You told me about the dream," he said.
"No," I sat up to face him. "That ISN'T it. I was actually there. It wasn't a dream. I was there and... and... now I'm here. I got flung into the past."
"I think we should get some X-Rays done," he said.
"Severus! Please. Either I'm in some sort of sick dream or I'm actually stuck here. I... I just want to wake up," I lowered my head.
"Harry..." he leaned in so I could clearly see his face. "I don't think this is a dream. Maybe your life was a dream," he said.
"No!" I back away from his black, staring eyes. "It... I..." I tried to put my thoughts together. "It couldn't have been. I have a wife... and offspring... and... a job. I was looked up to! Well, not by my kids. They dislike me... I guess I spend too much time at work. And, my wife isn't exactly my wife either. We had just recently divorced. And my... erm... secretary found out that they were going to fire me because I wasn't pulling my weight. Then Draco calls and says that you're dead, so I missed the funeral and end up wallowing at your grave."
"Calm down," he said. "You probably just need some sleep."
"I've done nothing but sleep," I said.
"You've been unconscious. You need real sleep," he said.
"You don't believe me," I crossed my arms childishly.
"Obviously not," he said. "Dumbledore and I will see you in the morning."
"Would you just leave?"
He stood up off his chair. "I am, right now," he seemed as frustrated as I was.
I watched him walk to the door. His silhouette looked at me once and then left.
Albus Dumbledore shook me lightly. I muttered a curse under my breath as I awoke from a dreamless sleep. It had felt like only minutes since I had argued with Severus Snape. "Are you awake Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked me.
"I am now," I turned over.
After I turned over, I quickly regretted my actions. Severus sat on the other side of my bed, watching me carefully. I sat up immediately and moved myself to the other end of the bed. "We need to discuss some things," Dumbledore sighed lightly.
"We mine as well start, since I am awake," I said, crossing my arms once again.
Snape handed me the silver liquid. "This is what Draco gave you, right?"
I nodded. "It is."
The Professors raised their eyebrow simultaneously. I handed Severus the potion back. "Did you drink any of it?" Albus Dumbledore asked.
"No," I said.
Albus and Severus looked at one another. Severus then turned to me. "You told me something yesterday, that I took the wrong way. I am truly sorry if I offended you in any way."
I realized what he meant. I looked out the window at the clouded sky. I refused to make eye contact with the men on either side of me and decided to busy myself with the chipped window. "If what I said was true, then, yes, I did drink the potion. The dream I had... was just a memory," I said.
I noticed Albus smile from the corner of my eye. "That explains it then. This boy really is from the time he claimed. Whatever made him come back here, made the effect of the potion stronger," he said.
Severus held out another potion for me. "It's the antidote. I worked all night to make it," he said.
I looked at the gold liquid. It made sense, but I didn't take it from his hands. "What did Draco's potion do?" I asked and looked towards Dumbledore.
Dumbledore seemed to look towards Snape for any kind of guidance on how to present the issue. "It's... to make you see things differently," he started.
Snape finished his explanation. "When discipline was physical in schools, teachers would hit the left wrist of students that wrote with their left hand. It was to try to teach them to use their right hand instead," he said. I waited for further explanation since none of this actually involved me. "That's what Draco's potion does, except, well..." he rubbed his hands together. "Whenever you thought about someone homosexually it would send minor shocks through the brain, so that you would learn not to think this way. Of course, you couldn't feel any physic pain, but you would flinch and maybe have a slight headache."
I turned towards him. "I am not a homosexual," I said, calmly.
Severus chuckled lightly. "Of course not. You're getting shocked each time that you ever think that way. Eventually, you stopped," he said.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "I never was in the first place. I had a wife. I had affairs with women. I never looked at a man in that manner," I said.
Albus spoke. "Harry, you have to understand that the potion is dangerous. It doesn't matter if you thought you were homosexual or not."
"Well, it must matter to Severus here," I said.
"It doesn't matter to me," Snape said and moved the antidote closer to me.
"It doesn't sound like it," I muttered.
"Do you want to take the antidote?" Snape asked.
"No," I said.
"Why not?" Dumbledore asked.
"Well, why should I?"
Snape set the antidote down on the desk beside the bed. "Because you won't be sick anymore," he said.
"I'm not sick," I said. "You are... you're the one that wants me to be a homosexual," I muttered.
"What makes you think that? I just want you to be safe," he said.
"Because YOU'RE a homosexual. You'd like the thought that maybe you and I had a chance," I said.
He stood up, rather offended. "Mr. Potter, I do not have relations with my students. I will not put up with this any longer."
Severus Snape left the room, slamming the door behind him. Dumbledore spoke up, "I do not know what has come over you Harry. But I think it would be better if you stayed in here for a while. It is your choice whether you want to take the antidote or not. But... you have NO right to talk to Professor Snape in that manner. He has gone out of his way to help you, and you treat him like he's done something wrong. Maybe he has. Maybe he shouldn't have helped you."
Albus smiled lightly at me, and walked out of the room, shutting the door more quietly. I widened my eyes and wrapped my arms around my legs. I had dug myself into a deep hole, and hurt Severus whom had started the whole problem. He was the reason I was here... and I needed to fix what I had done. I noticed a small crack in the floor. I started to poke it with my foot and watched the floorboard move.
A/N: Okay, update information. I don't know how many people actually read this, but anyways. I'm going on a trip. I don't know why, but I didn't get a say in the manner. I will not get the chance to write, because I like to write alone... and that's not going to happen in a tiny hotel room. There might be internet connection, but I'm not really sure. If I get a chance, I will write another chapter tonight and then post it while I'm there. But I still have to finish my fictionpress chapter and I don't know how much longer the peace will last. I get back in six or seven days, so I'll try my best to post close to when I get back. If you're really bored... check out the fictionpress story (I have the same username) and I should be posting in my live journal if you're that interested. So, I hope you all have a lovely week.