Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter

A/N: Umm... I apologize if you guys didn't really like the last chapter, but I laughed... hope you did too. I'm not impressed with it at all, but now it gets more serious... enjoy!

Until Death and After

Chapter Six: Long Flight

A headache awoke me. I tried to forget whatever dream I had to cause the pain. I opened my eyes and had the sun glare into them. "Good morning Harry," Albus said from my bedside.
I was curious about where my previous doctor was, Severus. "Isn't there something I can take for this headaches?" I asked.
He chuckled to himself. "Do you know what happened yesterday night?" he asked, not answering my question.
"Not a clue," I said.
"You were really drunk, and Professor Snape came to the rescue," he said.
"Oh," I said. "Did I say anything to him?"
"I don't really know. He didn't say much... but..." he trailed off, trying to word his thoughts out. "You did drink the antidote." I lowered my eyes. What happened? "If you really want, you can drink the potion again."
"I don't know," I said.
"Well," he sighed lightly. "We have a flight for you to return to Hogwarts."
"Flight?"
"Airplane."
"What? I'm taking an airplane?" I asked, kind of stunned.
"We don't want you flying a broom in case something happens," he said. "We'll pick you up at the airport."
"You won't be on it?"
He laughed. "Oh, of course not! You couldn't get me on one of those things. Hermione and Ron will be on it though. They came to see you, but you were out for most of the time."
I looked up slightly. "So I can talk to them when I'm on the flight?" I asked.
"Of course," Dumbledore smiled. "Now get dressed."

I looked at the ticket and read each seat number. Supposedly, I was supposed to sit with Ron and Hermione, but I noticed that the seats were in pairs. It was a smaller plane than what I was used to. I sat down in my seat, glad that I had the window seat. "Ah, Mr. Potter," Severus said; I think I caught his eyes roll. "It looks like we'll be sitting together," he sounded slightly disappointed.
I tried to make him feel better about the situation. "You can have the window if you'd like," I said.
He shook his head nervously. "No, no. I requested the aisle seat," he said.
I watched him sit down awkwardly. We both sat in silence for a while. "I'm sorry if I said anything yesterday... to offend you..." I said, watching his dark eyes carefully.
"Don't start now Potter. You and I both know you don't remember, and I have worse things to worry about right now," he said.
I watched his eyes dart around frantically as he gripped the armrest nervously. "Are you alright?" I asked, watching his knuckles turn white.
"No Potter," he spat. "I do not like having my life in someone else's hands. The only reason I'm on this damn thing is because I'm supposed to make sure you're okay. I thought you'd be fine with your little friends, but it seems as if Dumbledore thought differently. God forbid he watches you himself."
I lowered my eyes towards my feet. So, I'm just a burden then? "I'm sorry," I said. "For making you do this."
From the corner of my eye, I watched him turn his head towards me. "It's fine... Harry. I have to conquer my fears sometime," he said.
I turned my heads towards his, watching his eyes watch mine. I drew closer to him, part of me was screaming no while the other part was thought the opposite. "Harry!" Ron said.
I broke the stare to look at my redheaded friend. Hermione stood behind him. "Hey guys," I said in a half-smile.
"How're you feeling?" Hermione asked.
"Much better," I said. "Where are you guys sitting?"
Ron looked at his ticket. "A couple rows up," he said. "Do we get to hear about what happened?"
"After the flight," I said. "It'll be hard to talk on the plane."
"Obviously. Hermione here is scared of the flight," he laughed and nudged her slightly. "Can you believe that?"
She turned red lightly. I inconspicuously watched Snape's expression. It stayed blank, but his knuckles turned white again. A stewardess walked up behind them. "We're going to take off soon, could you please take your seats?" she asked.
"Okay," Hermione said and pulled Ron with her.
She smiled at Severus lightly and continued to walk by. "I think she gave you a look," I started, trying to make him calmer.
He turned to look at me. "Why on earth would she be smiling at someone like me? She's being paid to," he said.
I took a moment to observe his muggle clothes. He was wearing black pants with a dark grey sweater. He looked basically the same, but very nervous. He seemed kind of attractive when he was... exposed. "It's not like you're ugly or something," I said.
"You should have thought that one through Potter, you might sound homosexual," he said.
Of course, I grew frustrated with him. "I was just trying to be nice. Why are you against it or something?"
Dammit, I'm dumb. He picked that one up quickly. "I'M against? I am against it? You accused me of being it a few days ago," he said
I felt my hand shaking. Why was I nervous? Why do I care what this man thinks of me? "May I ask you something?" I asked, hoping I'd just wake up back in my real bed.
"You just did; I may not answer the next one," he said.
"Are you?" I asked.
He sighed and moved uncomfortably in the chair. "It's a long story, and I'm sure we'll be there soon," he looked away from me.
I looked out the window. "Severus," I said. "We haven't started yet. Have you flown before?"
He turned to glare at me. "No," he said. "Are you trying to make me look stupid?"
I smiled childishly. "Yes," I said.
The stewardesses stepped to the front and quickly gave us the safety instructions and such. I tuned her out quickly and shoved my hand in my pocket trying to find my gum. They walked from the front of the plane to take their seats while the plane took up. "What're you doing?" Snape asked me.
"Gum!" I said, fishing it out of my pocket.
"Seatbelt," he pointed out.
"Gum?" I offered him some, since it was supposed to help the feeling when the plane takes off.
He leaned over and did up my seatbelt. I slipped a piece of gum into his mouth. He rolled his eyes slightly. "Thanks," he said.
I smiled at him as he put his hand on the armrest closest to the aisle. I watched his face go paler than he was originally as we took off. His jaw raised and lowered, chewing the gum. He looked as if he was holding his breath. I watched him close his eyes nervously and put his hand on the other armrest. Normally, I wouldn't have complained or anything, but my hand was also on there. His, physically, older hand easily covered mine. "Hey," I whispered to him. He opened his eyes for a moment. "My hand..."
He looked down at his hand. Was he blushing? "Sorry!" he said. "I'm just a little shaken up."
I watched my hand become released and I moved it out of the away. "It's fine," I said, holding in my frustration.
He noticed. "I really am, I'll be more careful on the way down," he said.
The seatbelt light went off. I unbuckled it quickly so I could sit more comfortably in the chair. "Are you going to tell me the story then?" I asked.
"My personal life is none of your concern," he responded.
I quickly tried to get a plan together to weasel the information out of him. "It's a long flight..." I said, watching his unchanging expression. He didn't respond and pulled out one of the safety pamphlets to read. "Could you get me my memory back?"
"What?" he asked.
"From last night..." I said. "I want to know what happened."
I doubted he'd do that and instead tell me the story. "Do you really want it back?"
Do I? Curiosity won over common sense. "Yes," I said.
He watched me carefully. "Are you sure?" he seemed nervous about me figuring out what happened.
I smiled lightly at him. "Positive."
He sighed lightly. "I can give you a potion for it, but you might feel a little sick afterwards," he said.
I watched him pull out a potion kit as he discretely tried to make a potion. I yawned lightly and leaned back in the seat, careful not to piss off the person beside me. An opportunity came up. "How about you tell me it while you're making the potion?"
"It's not a hard potion to make; I'm down now," he handed the drink to me.
I looked at the liquid and chugged it, careful not to miss a drop. I handed the glass back to him as my head started to ache. Memories quickly filled back into my head. I held my head of images of me pressuring Severus into drinking appeared. It was followed with I telling him that I loved him, twice. I leaned over and grabbed a bag. I felt my stomach roll as I gracefully threw up my small breakfast and the potion. I felt his hand rubbing my back softly. "Are you alright?" he asked.
"Fine," I said, closing the bag.
The stewardess came up again. "Is he okay?" she asked Snape.
"He's fine," he replied.
She leaned over, "Let me throw that out for you," she took the bag away from me.
I watched her leave and hoped my stomach would stop turning. "Did... I really say those things?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yes," he said, taking his hand off my back.
"I'm... sorry..." I said, watching his expression.
Do I really love him? Or did I have too much to drink? "It's fine," he said, packing up his potions.
"Did I mean it?" I asked, more myself than him.
He sighed lightly and looked at me. "I don't know," he said.
"Do you... I mean... do you feel that way about me?" I asked.
I watched his eyes dart away from me. "Let's change the topic, shall we?" it was easy to tell he was very frustrated with me. "I'll tell you the damned story."
I smiled and eagerly waited to hear what happened to him. I turned my body so I could face him. "Thanks," I said.
He looked towards me and I could watch his thoughts going together. "Well, to start, during my first year at Hogwarts I had befriended only two people. A girl, her name was Victoria and a boy who was my roommate. Anyways, within the first week I wanted to go home; I was NOT happy there. So I wrote a letter to my mom begging for me to come home. She wrote me back and the only thing she wrote was, 'Don't ruin the pillow with you tears, we'll see you at Christmas.' I was, rather upset with this, and stayed at school for every moment I could. I didn't go back at Christmas, and I stopped writing letters to either of my parents.
"The real story, of course, is about Vic. She was in a different house then me, but she usually snuck in anyway. First year sucked, but second year got better. My roommate decided that I needed more friends and surrounded me with his friends. They were, of course, all guys. We had all the same interests, beginning with comic books. Girls didn't really like us anyway, but they mocked me more than the rest. I was bright, or so I'm told, and the big nose and greasy black hair didn't help any. Victoria, we called her Vic, actually beat some people up for me. She... was a tomboy. She always cut her hair really short, herself. It was a messy brown hair... kind of resembles yours... and she had bright emerald eyes. Of course, as we grew older we kind of got attached to each other. She filled out and grew her hair longer. She was gorgeous. I did mention that all my friends had the same interests right?" he didn't give me a chance to answer. He was too absorbed in his own story. "Well, we all liked her. The thing was... was that when one of us went out with her, we wouldn't tell anyone else because we didn't want anyone to be upset. She, being the person she was, quickly caught on. She used all of us, all the time. For gifts, sex, homework anything you could think of. One night at Christmas, I was the only one in my room and she had snuck in while I was asleep. I woke up with her lying on top of me. She told me she wanted her first time to be with me, so since I usually thought dick first I agreed. Afterwards, she admitted that she wanted MY first time to be with her and she had already had a good time before. I wasn't pissed though, which was weird. Instead of me complaining, we made a necklace together which was to protect her. I gave it to her as a gift, so she'd remember me.
"After school ended everyone basically went there separate ways. About 6 months after school ended we all met again under a circumstance we wished never happened. Victoria had committed suicide. It was a mystery to everyone why. The rumour was, was that she owed someone a lot of money and she was going to die anyway. Other people said she was just depressed. I did get something out of the experience though. In her will she left me the necklace and a note she had written to me, but never gave it to me. I believe that she is the only girl I'll ever love because every other woman has been a bitch to me." He sighed lightly. "And to be honest, she acted more like a guy than a girl anyway. So, it's obvious why I turned the way I did."
"One girl turned you gay?" I asked.
He laughed lightly. "One girl was keeping me straight."
I scratched my head. "I see," I said. "So your door swings both ways?"
His eyes rolled lightly. "ONE way, it used to swing both, but only for Vic."
"What'd the note say?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I never read it. I still have it, but I'm too nervous to read it. I have the necklace though," he said.
I watched him pull it out from underneath his sweater. I looked at the thin silver chain and then noticed one pearl attached to the centre. There was another pearl attached the first pearl. The first was black while the second was green. "It looks nice. Why the colours?" I asked.
He took it off from around his neck. "My favourite colour was black, hers was green. It made sense at the time. It didn't do a great job protecting her though," he said. His black eyes looked at me for a moment. "You have it," he handed it out to me.
"I couldn't," I said, watching the chain spin.
He leaned over and put the chain around my neck. "You could and you will. You don't get a say in this matter," he said. "I'm flying on a plane and I have to let go of long lost lovers."
I watched the chain sit against my chest. "Thanks," I said. "But... why did you stay with her even though she was using you guys. I'm sure you figured out what was going on."
"I don't believe you've loved someone as much as I loved her," he said. "Even at your no longer youthful age."
I looked down. He was probably right. "I cried for you," I said.
"Hush Potter," he clenched a fist. "I don't deserve your tears. I did nothing to make you feel as you do."
"Do you think I'm in love with you?" I asked, watching him carefully.
"Please, not this dull subject again. You're just like her you know," he narrowed his eyes.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"She always wanted to know if I loved her or not. I never answered of course. She said she loved me, but I always doubted it, for I knew she'd say the same thing to my friends. I still remember her voice, 'Can you just say it once?' she asked me like many times before. I said I couldn't because I couldn't love someone who acted like a whore. She punched me, hard, and broke my nose," he ran his hand lightly against his long nose. "I've lived with it since. I feel as if I had told her, things would have turned out differently," he said.
"I wasn't asking if you loved me," I said.
"Love, romance, whatever," he muttered.
I leaned in closer to him. "So, you're not interested in going into the bathroom and having some fun?" I asked, feeling a smile start to appear on my face.
"What?" he raised an eyebrow. "I... erm..." he stuttered nervously.
I laughed. "Only kidding," I nudged him. "You think I'm cute, don't you?"
He turned away. "I remember having this conversation before when you were intoxicated," he said.
"No, no. You forget that I remember. When I was drunk I wanted you to kiss me. Now I want to know if you think I'm cute," I said.
"I'm you're teacher," he said. "We can't discuss things like this."
"Come on," I was leaning into him. "I have low self-esteem, make me feel better," I said.
He turned his head to get a better look at me. His face was close to mine. "Please don't do this," he said.
I lowered my eyes, ashamed of my actions. "Sorry," I said and backed down.
The seatbelts light dinged back on as an announcement told us we were landing. Severus tensed up more then he was previously, because of what I had done. He hadn't removed his seatbelt. I watched him close his eyes again, but gave him both armrests. The plan started to shake slightly and I turned out of the window. I guessed extra turbulence was caused from the storm. Lightening lit up the dark sky. I turned to look at Snape who had also glanced out the window. I put my hand on top of his and squeezed it lightly. "We'll be fine," I smiled at him.