Chan: YO! I'm back from John Hopkins! Did you all miss me?
Hiei: Is there a reason to onna?
Chan: ... Hiei-chan! I missed you so much! Did you know that NO ONE knew what Yu Yu Hakusho was?
Chibi: Gasp! No! The horror! The horror!
Kurama: Girls, it would do some good if you stopped clutching Hiei like that. He might need to breathe...
Chan: Yep, yep! Anyways it was fun there, and there was even a bat in the dorms. We had a spa day, when someone was like:
"Oh my God, it's a bird!"
"Shut up Rachel, it's not a bird. It's a BAT! Girls, run!"
It was so funny. Then someone was like:
"I know how to catch a bat. We have tons of them in New York.'
"Really? How?"
"You get a pillowcase and a stick, that's how."
They eventually caught the bat, and I even took pictures of it too! It was so cute, but not as cute as Hiei-chan...
Chibi: Sigh, I wish I could have been there to give you emotional support...
Kurama: Of course...
Hiei: Hn.
Chan: Anyways, they had no computers, so I couldn't update or nothing. So here's the prolonged chapter! Mwuhahahaha! (Gasp, wheeze, choke..)
All: Sweatdrop...
Kurama: Ahem... it feels that it is my duty to do the disclaimer. Chibi and Chan do not own anything that is related to Yu Yu Hakusho.
Chan: NO! Of COURSE I own Yu Yu Hakusho! I even have the papers to prove it!
Chibi: While Chan rants on, I'll thank the reviewers who well... gave us reviews.
Omasuoniwabanshi: Thanks so much for your review. It made me feel so happy that people like our fic! The emotional support! (Starts crying)
'Little bro': ... When I came back home, what did I find? ... The computer is even screwed up than before! I was only gone for THREE weeks! What can you have possibility done in THREE weeks that even made it worse?! I'll kill you! Grrrrrr!!!!
Rosinsniffer: Yo, I'm back and ready for action! New manga idea! New character designs! New... New... uh... Trip for river rafting! Yes! River rafting! I can't wait! Ps: Jin, Touya, Kakashi, Itachi, Naruto, and the Fourth Hokage are all mine, along with Hiei-chan. (He needed some friends...)
Lulu LABs23: Yes, sugar high! All praise thee for all things that have sugary goodness! Join the dark side, it has cookies! (Lol, inside joke...)
Muse456: Yes, and I already put my brother on the car. He really makes a nice décor, AKA: hood ornament. I'm back from my three week trip from camp... don't ask me how it was, because it would take forever to explain it to you. I'll just call, or E-mail you or something.
Madame Arrow Foxfire: Ahem... if you're confused, allow me to explain... Yukina is faking her sadness and if she really cried, she'll probably make those tear gems, which would make Hiei feel SO guilty and that would put a damper on the whole 'trip to the festival'. I'm sure that Yukina's not the type to make others miserable... An secondly... Hiei's unpredictable, don't you know that? And lastly... Kuwabara... hm... I'll get to you on that...
Fleetfoot: No! HOW COULD YOU BE LEAVING THE DAY BEFORE I COME BACK?! Whaaa! You're abandoning me! All alone... (Starts whimpering)
Princess Krystal01: OMG! OMG! OMG! You read my pitiful attempts at a fanfiction?!! You WROTE How to become a Reikai Tantei! That's like one of my FIRST Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction stories I've ever read! (Dies of heart attack)
Kikko: Yes, yes. I've updated. Although, some help would be nice. I've run out of ideas...
Sillyningengirl: I think that you're my #1 reviewer! Cookies for you! I dedicate this chapter to you!
(Hiei: Hn.)
(Kurama: -)
Kitty2satan: ... I don't know. I think that it's towards the VERY end of the series, but I'm not too sure. Hey, Hiei DOES need a vice, right?
Black Slytherin Girl: You HAVEN'T! Gah! Go read it! There's Yu Yu Hakusho, volumes 1-4 out now. READ IT! Or you could just watch it on Cartoon network, Saturday nights at 9:30.
Wild Roses: I thought that I would have a heart attack when I saw that you put me on your author alert watch list! I feel so... unworthy of your presence! No, seriously! YOU WROTE Resurrected AND Unseen Danger! OMG!
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OK, BEFORE I START, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO SILLYNINGENGIRL BECAUSE SHE'S SUPER NICE! AND ALSO TO MY BEST BUDS. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...
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"All right, can things get any worse?" Yusuke muttered as he held the hyperactive fire demon in a full body-lock, desperately losing his hold as Hiei squirmed back and forth.
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT URAMESHI! YOU'RE GONNA JINX US!" Kuwabara wailed from behind the bench, a meaningless wooden barrier in case the Hi youkai decided to use his Darkness flame techniques on the two delinquents.
"And do you have any suggestions?" Yusuke asked in a sticky sweet voice, honey lacing the venom, as struggling to keep the Jaganshi under control.
"Leggo Yusuke! I. Need. More! Pretty please, with...SUGAR on top?" And that was the sugar speaking, as we all know that Hiei would be the last person on earth to use manners, even till the end of the apocalypse and beyond. Or Yusuke would personally eat his gym socks, not that he had any anyways...
"No..." Kuwabara had that nagging feeling, as if something was severely wrong, not the fact that they had committed a crime that would no doubt put them behind Reikai's bars, getting Hiei high like that...
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE LIKE THE IDIOT YOU ARE, AND DO SOMETHING!" Yusuke emptied his frustration, and temper – as one might also add- as he tightened his grip on Hiei.
Long gone was the little fact that Hiei could no longer be able to breathe properly now, his face an interesting shade as his eyes, or was that because of the candy? Oh well, like that mattered to Yusuke now...
"Hey, don't you give me orders Urameshi!" Kuwabara retorted, shaking his fist as he did so, the teen's face scrunched up into a stretching frown.
Struggling, both to count to ten and to keep Hiei from wrecking havoc on the human population, Yusuke now turned his attention to the mob that had blocked their little escape route. "And what the hell are you looking at? Go take a picture, it'll last longer! Or better yet, scram!"
Muttering, the crowd broke and went their own merry way, a few even taking Yusuke's advice and a few flashes and clicks later, left the strange spectacle alone.
"Ok, so..." Yusuke furrowed his eyebrows as he thought of a solution for this 'problem'. Which was... which was... Oh damn, nothing.
The young detective had faced many harrowing and dangerous situations in his past. Life was so simple other than your average psychopath trying to take over the world, (Hitler among the many, but Yusuke wasn't alive back then, thank the Gods...).
His job was simple. Go in, knock a few bad guys around, win by a brilliant stroke of luck, and be home in time for dinner... hopefully still in one piece.
This was defiantly NOT in the job description.
"DAMN IT HIEI, STOP MOVING!" Yusuke panted, avoiding the said-so demon's fist in his mouth. "KUWABARA! SOME HELP WOULD BE NICE!"
The orange-haired carrot top rubbed his chin, lost in thought. (Which was possible, even for someone like him...) "Hmm..." He started to pace around, starting intently at the black cement.
"Well, other than just thinking really, really hard, you might want to actually come up with something you know." Yusuke's voice deadpanned, still besieged with the squirming youkai.
Snapping his fingers, Kuwabara exclaimed, "Ah ha!"
Then he scurried off, running into a stall that sold convinces.
Cocking his head, Yusuke, as best as he could, asked, "What the hell?"
Hiei, who was still fighting, bared his fangs and...
"OUCH! GOD DAMN IT... STOP BITING ME HIEI!" The raven-haired Rekai Tantei member howled in pain, the very ground shaking.
This was going to be a long night.
= - = - = - = - =
Fifteen minutes later, they had Hiei tied up in linen bandages and an empty sake bottle ignored to the left of him...
"THIS IS /SO/ YOU'RE FAULT KUWABARA!" Yusuke snarled dangerously as he paced back and forth, said so idiot nervously darting his beady black eyes from the tied up demon to the battle ready Toushin.
"What do ya mean /MY/ fault?! I can't help it if sake looks exactly like water!" The moron defended himself as he held up a bottle of water and sake in each hand.
Indeed, both liquids looked exactly the same, except for a very, very, very small difference...
"Yeah, I wouldn't have noticed anything if there wasn't a big sticker that screams, 'Water' and 'Sake' on the other. It's really a shame that you can't read." Yusuke rolled his chocolate brown eyes as he eyed the cherry-red fire demon on the ground.
"Shut it Urameshi! You could have made the same mistake too!" Kuwabara jabbed a finger at Yusuke, the middle one if you please.
"Ouch, that so hurts. Are you saying that I never passed kindergarten? Kuwabara, I've never been so insulted in my life!" Yusuke clutched his heart dramatically as Kuwabara punched his head.
"Shut up!"
"Oh yeah? Make me!"
"Fine! I will!"
"Like you'll even touch me!"
"Oh yeah? Well... Shut up!"
"Make me!"
"Uh..."
"Ha!" Yusuke held his fist in a triumphal pose. "I win!"
Yes, it was rather sad if you look at it. The fate of the world had depended on this person for quite some time now...
"Hic!" Hiei, who apparently was never much of a drinker, had a very goofy expression on his face as his cheeks were blotched red. "'usuke... Hic! 'fool... Hic! Kill 'ou when... Hic!" He broke out giggling as he fell backwards onto his back, now crossed-eyed.
"Damn... What do we do now?" Kuwabara scratched his head as he bent forwards so that he was eye level with the youkai.
"Well... I see two options..." Yusuke looked thoughtful as he stroked his chin.
"What?" Kuwabara was feeling anxious as Hiei – as much as he despised him – didn't like seeing the demon in this state where he was giggling for no apparent reason- it scared him worse than the Dragon of Darkness Flame...
"Number one... We can take pictures of him doing some really stupid shit and use it as blackmail..." The spirit detective ticked off a finger.
As much as Kuwabara had the sudden urge to buy a camera, the threat of Hiei when he was actually sober loomed over him, giving him the willies. "Uh... try the next one..."
Nodding, Yusuke continued. "Number two... we can get a tape recorder and make him confess that Yuk..." He stopped in mid-sentence as he had a very gruesome vision of Hiei decapitating his head as Kuwabara blabbed the secret to Yukina.
"What?" Kuwabara scratched his head, as he didn't quite get what was going on.
"Err... we make him confess to Kurama that he uh... he um... has a... problem with... uh... obsession! Yeah, poor Hiei has a real bad problem of taking stuff that isn't his and lying about it. You see, he somehow keeps on stealing um... stuff, so his criminal record keeps on getting bigger and Koenma can't do a thing about it, poor guy..." Yusuke faked a tear as he mentally patted his back for the good cover-up.
"Wow... I never knew... Poor little guy... No wonder he always acted like something was always up his ass. It wasn't his fault! Urameshi, how come you never told me?!" Kuwabara exclaimed as he finally knew the world's greatest secret. Hiei was a kleptomaniac!
"Yeah, you think that Kuwabara... maybe Kurama'll know what to do with him, I mean he's a demon too... He'll have something in his hair that sober Hiei real quick." Yusuke pictured Kurama dressed as a nurse with a syringe needle in one hand and Hiei on the bed, terrified out of his wits, partially of the needle and partially of how feminine Kurama actually looked in the uniform...
He sniggered at the thought as Kuwabara was totally lost.
"C'mon. Let's go find him." Yusuke picked Hiei by the scruff of his Yukata collar and hopefully picked a direction that Kurama and the girls were.
"Hey, Urameshi, don't leave me behind!" Kuwabara yelped as he ran to catch up.
= - = - = - = - =
"All right... and how old is this..." A partially fat man with a bushy mustache plastered over his upper lip looked up from his clipboard, "..child..."
The three Tantei all put on fake smiles as Kurama said in a strained voice, "...Five..."
It was the: 'this is such an obtuse answer that is clearly fallacious.' voice that made the other two humans wince at the response.
"Yeah... with two extra zeros." Yusuke muttered under his breath as Kurama discreetly jabbed his ribs painfully.
Raising a hairy unibrow, the fat man continued. "And give me a description of this... child..." His pencil was poised over the paper as Yusuke gave him a very acute, yet tweaked portrayal of Hiei.
"Spiky black hair, the kid uses too much hair gel, uh red eyes, contacts of course. He has really bad eyes at his age..." Yusuke grimaced at his words.
"Yeah, considering that he has an extra one..." Kuwabara grumbled 'inconspicuously' as Kurama gave him a stern look that said: 'now is not the time to display your famed ability to make matters worse...'
"Um, he's wearing a Navy Yukata... and uh... Hey Kurama, was he wearing his sword?"" Kuwabara asked Kurama who could have smacked his head if not for the countless centuries of self-control.
"You DO mean his plastic toy, don't you Kuwabara? No, I made sure that he had left that behind, although I do remember that he has on a white bandana and he is about this tall..." Kurama estimated of how big Hiei was with his hand.
This would have never happened if Yusuke and Kuwabara hadn't lost Hiei in a crowd.
Flashback
Kurama didn't need to have an acute sense of Spirit awareness like Kuwabara to know that something was very wrong when Yusuke and Kuwabara had shown up in a Store without Hiei.
For starters, Yusuke was sweating bullets and Kuwabara was actually crying tears.
"What's wrong?" Kurama asked as he made his way out of the store, leaving the girls behind.
"Uh...um...We-got-Hiei-sugar-high-then-Kuwabara-thought-that-it-would-make-him-better-if-we-gave-him-water-to-calm-him-down-but-it-was-actually-sake-so-he's-now-drunk-and-we-lost-him-in-a-crowd-so-now-we're-here-so-can-you-help-us?" Yusuke babbled quickly, waiting for Kurama's reaction.
Kuwabara was cowering behind Yusuke, just in case if Shuuichi decided to go all Youko on them.
Kurama blinked several times, taking in what the spirit detective had said. "It appears that we have a dilemma on our hands..."
End flashback
This was the reason that they were in the lost and found for lost children in the middle of the festival. Fun, fun, fun, right?
"Uh, you might wanna have some sort of weapon just in case if he decides to go all psycho on you...just in case, you know?" Kuwabara laughed nervously by himself as he sweated even more.
"Yeah...um, were volunteers for the Insane Asylum Institution down by the street, here's our card...whoops, must have dropped it somewhere... HOLY CHEESE ON RYE, IS THAT HIEI!?!" Yusuke pointed out the window as a runaway cotton candy cart dangerously cantered past them, with what suspiciously looked like Hiei on top.
"Well, thank you for your assistance, but there is no need for your help now." Kurama politely thanked the man as he followed Yusuke and Kuwabara out the door.
"Damn it Hiei, get the hell back here!" Yusuke was now several feet behind the cart as Kuwabara was right behind him.
"You shrimp, I'm gonna beat you so bad that... that... that my sweet Yukina-chan won't even recognize you no more!" Kuwabara waved his fist in the air as they chased Hiei down.
"Please, Yusuke, Kuwabara, both of you cannot use any of your spirit attacks here in front of such a large crowd." Kurama dolefully reminded them as he too made a mental note that transforming in Youko was a no-no.
"Oh no you don't! Err... Flashlight gun... attack... thingy..." Yusuke proceeded to hurl flashlights from a random stall and to their best of luck, bull's eye!
"WHEEE! 'da fun! 'try 'gain 'usuke?" Hiei slurred as he toppled over, one of the wheels on the cart spinning dangerously as it was deposed over to one side.
Sighing a breath of relief, Kurama picked up Hiei as Kuwabara yelled, "And just what the hell are you all looking at? Go away!"
The crowd disappeared quickly enough as the three decided that tonight's fun was more than enough for one day.
As they were walking back to the parking lot, the girls, (Botan especially), complaining that they had not enough time to finish their shopping yet, begrudgingly followed them.
Hiei, who was now unconscious, snored lightly as he muttered things in his sleep.
Kurama started to chuckle as his sharp demonic hearing picked up a few words.
"What's so funny Kurama?" Keiko asked as Yusuke trailed after her, his cheek bright red, a hand imprint tattooed to his side.
With light humor in his voice, the red-haired young man said, "It's nothing really... but you do realize that sake works even better than truth serum?"
= - = - = - =
Kuwabara: Ha, the midget can't take his drinks like a real man and he has a real bad hangover to show for that! Too bad that Yukina-chan's so worried about him, I mean what makes him so much better than me anyways? Oh yeah, it's her birthday tomorrow! I gotta go get her something real special, can't let the shrimp make me look like a fool. Next time: Hangovers and birthdays!