A/N: Second to last chapter... I had planned on using a different song before, but I changed my mind, because the other didn't fit in too well.
Warning: Strong adult content at the end of the chapter. Don't read if you are offended.
Chapter 4: Don't Walk Away
Three days passed by, life slipping away in a haze of mixed emotions. The hatred and anger she lived with everyday had lessened, and her mind was plagued with images of the man she swore she never wanted to see again. He had always been the first thing on her mind, but now, the thoughts were not so painful.
He had said goodnight, with a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He'd never smiled much, but whenever he did, she felt her heart melt inside her chest. She couldn't help it. Whether she liked it or not, he still held a part of her soul captive.
On the third day, she awoke once more to the ringing of the phone. Lazily, she stretched an arm out and plucked the phone from the stand, bringing it to her ear with a tired yawn. "Hello?"
"Rinoa?"
Her heart fluttered at the sound of his voice, and she felt her face heat up. "Yes?"
"Hey, it's me."
She laughed a little. "I know who you are."
"The funeral will be today at four p.m. Can you be there?"
"He's gone," Rinoa whispered in realization. "Squall, I'm so sorry. Did you get the chance to make up with him?"
"I'd rather not talk about it right now. Sorry."
A frown tugged at her lips, and she sighed. "I see. Well, I'll be there."
"Thanks... Rin."
Rinoa closed her eyes, feeling tears swell on the surface of her deep brown spheres. It wasn't a big deal, and yet, it touched a piece of her heart that had been swallowed in shadows for quite some time. The night on the balcony, when they'd sealed their relationship with a kiss, or the few times that he held her close, and she was certain that he loved her just as much as she did him... he'd simply called her Rin, in a soft, warm tone that he used with no other. It was something so small, but after all this time, it meant so much.
"You're welcome," she choked out, before they both gently placed the receiver back on the hook.
Rinoa laid back in her bed and allowed her eyes to drift closed. She felt something strange, so distant it was almost foreign, lingering in her heart. As her body relaxed within her bundle of warm, cushiony blankets in a way she hadn't for so long, she realized she was feeling peacefulness. Yes, her mind was still troubled with questions, and anxieties about seeing Squall again, but at least now they could talk.
As she relished the sound of his gentle voice in her ear, it came to her how much she missed just talking to him, and being in his presence. He would never speak very much, and often, he would shy away from her, but just to be close to him was enough. Yes, she still loved him, that much she knew. What she didn't know was if he still felt the same. He still liked her, but love? Did he ever love her at all? She'd never been completely sure, and that uncertainty was one of the things that drove her away. Even if he did, would anything have changed since the year before? Or would she simply be heading back into the same hell she once knew, dying slowly as she was now, but with her love so close, and yet so distant?
Too many questions, and now simply wasn't the time to dig for answers. Rising from her bed, she realized the only black dresses she had were sparkly, the kind of glamorous dress you would only wear to a performance, or party, certainly not a funeral.
"I'll have to go shopping," she murmured to herself. "Something black, and elegant."
(And something that will turn Squall's head) the more devilish part of her mind added. (Something that will show him just what he's missing out on.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rinoa gazed up at the church where the ceremony was being held. Unlike the rest of Esthar, it was made of stone and was located on the ground level, its steeples towering above the rest of the buildings around it and reaching toward the sky. Stained glass windows lined the walls, shining in saintly beauty, and tall, arched doors engraved with images of angels were propped open, a steady stream of people heading inside.
It was nearing noon, and the church was already packed with people that came to bid their president farewell. Of course, campaigns for the next president had already started, and in an effort to look good, many of the new candidates had come to the funeral as well. They stood around in the aisles making grand speeches on Laguna's behalf, and taking the opportunity to pass out buttons and take photos for the press. Rinoa tried to slip past them, but one of them grabbed her arm as she was walking to her seat, and began rambling on about how he would follow in Laguna's footsteps as a preserver of peace.
Someone near by cleared their throat loudly, and the man fell silently, a frown tugging his slightly wrinkled face as he noticed who had interrupted him.
"This is neither the time, nor the place for this," a familiar voice growled as a hand rested itself upon her shoulder. "Please take your seat and remain silent, or I will personally escort you from the building."
Rinoa smiled to herself, and turned to see Squall glaring at the older politician before leading her away. "Looks like you have your hands full," she commented.
He shrugged. "For the life of me, I can't figure out why my father was such a popular person. Or why no one else seems to be disturbed by the fact that his funeral is being turned into a political debate on who can suck up more."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, hugging his arm despite her better instincts. "I know how you feel. When my mother died, everyone was there... all these famous people that had only pretended to be her friend. They would talk about how much they missed her, even though they didn't know the first thing about her. I hated it."
Squall nodded, but didn't say anything. This didn't surprise Rinoa, of course, but what did was the fact that she didn't mind so much this time. Instead, the two made their way to the front of the church, where Quistis, Selphie, Ward, Kiros, and Ellone were all seated.
Selphie gazed at the pair in shock, noticing how close they stood to one another, and their entwined arms. "Rinoa?" she questioned, hopping up from her seat. She ran to the taller girl and hugged her, sniffling as she did. "Sir Laguna would have been so happy to see you here." In a lower voice, she whispered, "Are you two back together?"
"Just friends," Rinoa answered quietly, before patting Selphie's back. "The others aren't here?"
She shook her head. "They couldn't come. Zell's mother is sick, and Irvine... well, who cares where that whore-dog is," Selphie laughed through her tears.
Rinoa nodded, happy that Selphie had forgiven her, before taking a seat on the bench. The ceremony was long and tearful, with Kiros delivering the eulogy. Selphie wept loudly, making herself sick, while the rest of them mourned silently, with the exception of Squall. He sat there, his body rigid and his face lacking emotion, as if he were in the middle of a Garden briefing, rather than his father's funeral. No one noticed but Rinoa. She would steal glances at him every now and then, just to see if it was getting to him. She was disappointed to see that he simply didn't care. After all, if he didn't care about this, why would he ever care about her?
When it was over, Kiros and Ward bid them all a quick farewell before helping Ellone to the palace. Her small, frail body wracked with sobs as she stumbled up from the bench and allowed herself to be led away. Quistis and Selphie each hugged Rinoa goodbye, before running off to catch the limo back. Finally, as people filed slowly out of the church, Squall and Rinoa were left alone.
"It's starting to rain," Squall observed.
Rinoa pulled her coat tighter around her body. She had bought a gorgeous dress to wear, and yet, she never once took off her coat. Once she was there, it just didn't feel right. "Yeah," she whispered in reply.
"It's... It's not really safe for you to walk the streets alone," he murmured cautiously, her last outburst at those words still ringing clearly in his mind.
A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "You're right," she answered this time. "Maybe I should have someone walk with me, and be my bodyguard?"
"If you're offering me the job, I'll accept."
The two walked silently down the streets, rain pelting the small amount of their skin that was still visible, and soaking through their coats. They fell into a steady pace, walking side by side but not quite touching. The sun was slowly beginning to sink below the horizon, inflaming the sky with brilliant colors that cast a saintly golden glow upon their skin.
Squall silently watched Rinoa as she strode beside him, head down in thought, and her saturated midnight locks clinging to her face. She could've been just another face in the crowd, and yet, she shone with a beauty he'd never seen in any other person. Perhaps that's why their eyes had met from across the room? At the time it had seemed like some kind of fairy tale meeting, but now he realized, that even if they'd been strangers wandering the street, something would still have brought them together.
(So what was it that tore us apart? We were handed a fantasy on a silver platter and the only thing our fallible human hearts could do was destroy it,) he thought to himself.
Despite his bitter ponderings, the image of the beautiful woman beside him softened his heart. She shone like an angel, and yet, she was only a human being, a woman with faults and sins of her own. For the first time, in his eyes, she was simply Rinoa, an earth bound angel that wasn't as far from his reach as he had always thought. Something about this moved him, and he felt the urge to speak, to share something of himself, no matter how hard it was.
""Well, he died," he stated, then cringed at the stupidity of his words. In a slight panic, he blurted out the first thoughts that came to him. "It's hard to feel anything. I know you don't understand, but-"
"I do understand," she interrupted. "I do... better than you know. I once felt the same. When my mom died... It was hard to believe it was real. It was days before it sunk in. I just kept thinking she would burst through the front door and pull me into her arms again."
"You've lost a lot, too," he realized. "How did you always manage to smile all the time?"
"When I was young, I learned to smile, even when I wanted to cry," she explained. "I could pretend I was happy, and the people around me would never have to know the truth. I wouldn't have to drag them down with me." She laughed slightly. "I guess it was just some stupid attempt to be strong."
"But you are strong," he argued. "There were times that I just wanted to scream. Times that I knew I was going to lose it... but you'd be there, smiling, and it... it calmed me down."
"Yeah, but didn't it get on your nerves?" she questioned. "That I was always cheerful, always pestering you about something?"
"Yeah, sometimes it did," he admitted. "But once you were gone... I really missed it. Besides, I know I frustrated you, too. I kept drawing you closer and pushing you away..." He chuckled slightly. "I finally pushed you too far, and you left. After that, your smile wasn't there to calm me down anymore. You can ask Quistis and Selphie... I bit everyone's heads off on a daily bases."
"So I was told," Rinoa giggled. "Are they staying here with you?"
He shook his head. "They're leaving tomorrow. Soon, I'll have to leave as well."
Rinoa suppressed the urge to ask him to stay, and said instead, "I hope everything works out on this mission."
"Me too. After I leave here... I don't know what I'll do. I doubt I'd come back here, though. Too many memories I'd rather not relive."
Rinoa was silent at first, but then laughed, this time in full-blown amusement. "You know, for once... I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything," he replied, his voice calm, and soft, yet at the same time, pleading. "But will you do something else for me?"
"What?"
"Sing for me, Rinoa."
She was rather taken aback by his request. Sure, he had watched her sing before, but she hadn't thought it had made that big of an impact on him. As she studied him quietly, words drifted through her mind, attached to a tune she'd never heard before. She titled her head back and stared up at the darkening sky in contemplation, wondering if she should simply follow along with the melody in her heart. Finally, she cleared her throat, and began to sing these new words that she felt forming in her soul.
I can't feel a thing anymore
It's as if the world faded away while I was dreaming
Where is everything I knew before
Can't say that I understand
All the questions that are pouring down around me
A burden of doubt that I hold tight in my hand
She realized as she sang, that there was more than one level of uncertainty. There was the simple one, one where you weren't sure what to say, or do next, and a feeling of awkwardness would slowly start to consume you. It seemed like such a major thing when you were young, blushing and fidgeting with uneasiness while you tried to talk to your high school crush.
Then, there was this level. A level of uncertainty where you knew that your life was dangling by a thin thread between heaven and hell, swaying back and forth in the battling winds of destiny and free will.
A year early, her free will led her away from all that was familiar and comforting, and into a place where she had no choice but to struggle on her own. She crawled beneath the weight of her own decisions, confused and blinded to what was right or wrong. She could no longer differentiate between black and white, because in her world, she could see only blue.
I couldn't hear a single sound
All the voices of the past, their echoes died away
And I couldn't live without your words around
A million things you never said
I should've known from the look on your face
Your feelings were never dead
She absent-mindedly moved closer to him, her mind drifting back on all the things she missed about being near him. No, he didn't utter a word now, as he didn't then, but this time she understood his reasoning. The words she sang and felt in her soul... they were priceless expressions of her heart, with so much depth and meaning that with each lyric that left her throat, she felt as though a piece of her soul were being torn away. It wasn't always the same for the words she spoke, however. You could say a million things and never mean a single one.
He knew that, and so he kept silent most of the time, unsure of whether his words would be enough. To him, they seemed shallow, petty and unrealistic forms of fake comfort and emotion. So many people had spoke insincere words to him over the years, filling him with hope, or happiness when he was a boy, only to realize it was nothing more than another broken promise after he had grown up. He didn't want to let her down by spouting off promises he wasn't sure he could keep, or feelings that he'd yet to fully understand. So instead, he just stayed silent.
Don't walk away from me
Take away my everything
I can't leave all this pain behind
Until the guilt in me subsides
Don't run away from me now
Now that the dream is winding down
Her earlier thoughts on his lack of words made her wonder if she had been one of those people that let him down. Of course she'd loved him, and cared about him, and she didn't hesitate to tell him. She knew that she didn't lie about that, at least. Well, lying was the wrong word. She would never intentionally tell him an untruth, not about something like that. Perhaps the better term was saying things without thinking them through. She knew now that she loved him, but perhaps she'd told him that even before she really knew it?
She'd told him that she'd be there for him forever. Yet, when the pressure started to build, she fled, and left him. He was right in what he'd said before. She'd abandoned him, and she never regretted anything more.
Comfortably surrendering my will
If I were the only one left in the world
Would I hold my head high still
Carrying the world on my shoulders
Hopelessly trapped in your eyes
The flame of my resolve burns colder
She had tried so hard for so long to stand on her own two feet, to be strong and prove to the rest of the world that she was capable of handling herself. So why did she feel so weak when she was with him? For a year she carried on by herself, but one split second of looking into his eyes across the darkened bar made her feel powerless.
Still, that feeling of utter helplessness when she was near him was strangely addictive. It was like being seduced into a comfortable vulnerability. Being entangled within those strong arms, and touched with those hands that had been stained with blood so many times before... she never felt safer than when she was there. She had wanted so badly to be strong on her own, and yet, how could she truly be strong without him? He was all at once her weakness, and her strength, as confusing as it was to her. No, she simply couldn't carry on by herself.
Tell me another lie
Right now I don't think I can handle the truth
You are nothing to me if not sly
Slip off your mask
I wanna see your face tonight
I don't think it's so much to askThey were approaching her apartment now, after what seemed like an eternity of walking. He still said nothing, but she could tell he was listening to her every word intently, mesmerized by her powerful voice, the drops of rain that outlined her face, and even the movement of her lips. It was as though she were the only thing in the world.
It occurred to him as he listened, that he too, had shed some of his mask. Even if it was only to explain his lack of emotion, it was something, and he felt relief at having finally done that for her. The fact that she understood and accepted it made him feel more comfortable with telling her things.
Those three words lingered upon the tip of his tongue. I miss you, I love you. Saying either one would have eased the anxious aching in his heart. But now was not the moment. It was too soon for a confession of that magnitude, and moreover, he wouldn't interrupt her song for anything.
Don't walk away from me
Take away my everything
I can't leave this pain behind
Until the guilt in me subsides
Don't run away from me now
Now that the dream is winding down...
I have nowhere left to go
No place to call my homeRinoa lowered her voice as the climbed up the stairs to her apartment. She glanced over her shoulder, just to make sure that Squall was following, before continuing upward. Should she let him come in? It didn't seem appropriate, but she didn't want him to leave. Everything she'd missed, and everything she loved about him... It all came rushing back to her, and now she craved it, longed for his presence.
"Do you... Do you want to come in?" she asked quietly as she interrupted her own song.
"I guess it wouldn't hurt... For a few minutes," he murmured, hoping he didn't sound too eager. He didn't want to leave her anymore than she wanted him to leave.
She smiled at him and unlocked her door, humming the rest of the song as they entered and making a mental note to write down the words when she got a chance.
Rinoa slid her coat from her shoulders and allowed it to drop to the floor, for the first time revealing her sleek black dress. Like all her other dresses, it clung to her beautifully curved form, and showed a tasteful amount of skin. It was just enough to make his mouth go dry, but not enough to give away all the surprise.
She laughed a little to herself. There wasn't much in the way of surprise anymore. A little too much alcohol at Irvine's birthday party and lowered inhibitions had seen to that. With her better judgment altered, she'd had the courage she needed to make a move on him, and being rather tipsy himself, he didn't resist for once. Neither one was really ready, and afterwards, it had caused more awkwardness between them.
(No more dwelling on the past) she promised herself as she smiled at him.
"Let me go change into something more comfortable," she told him, then winced at the cheesy line that escaped her mouth. He didn't seem to notice as his eyes traveled the length of her body and back.
A few moments later she stepped out in a pair of jeans and a sweater. Her apartment was a bit drafty due to the faulty heating system, and it was especially bad at night.
By this time, he had allowed his coat to join hers on the floor and was idly wandering around the room. "It's nice," he commented. "A little more bare than I expected."
Rinoa laughed. "I've hardly had time to decorate. So, did I hear you right? Squall Leonhart actually voiced an opinion?"
He turned back to her with a tiny smile. "Yeah. Maybe you rubbed off on me more than I thought."
She shook her head and laughed. "Glad to know I made an impression." A few moments of heavy silence passed between the two before she cleared her throat and said, "So, aren't you cold? I mean, in those damp clothes, you're bound to catch pneumonia. Especially with my heater on the fritz."
"No man around to fix it, huh?" he inquired innocently.
Rinoa struggled to keep a straight face at his obvious attempt to dig for information. "No, last time any body fixed my heater was oh, say... maybe about a year ago."
Squall scratched at his neck in a clear sign of embarrassment. "That's an awfully long time to go without heat."
"Well, you know how it is," she replied quietly as she edged closer to him. "You have to wait for the right repairman to come along. Or maybe... to come back. Anyway, I wasn't kidding when I said you'd get sick in those wet clothes. You need to change."
"Into what?"
"I'm sure I could dig up something. You don't mind pink pajamas with chocobos on them do you?" she questioned teasingly.
"I think I'd rather freeze."
"Well, so long as you're in my apartment, I'm not going to let you," she stated firmly before stomping up to him in her best attempt to look intimidating. She stopped a few inches in front of him and immediately wished she'd never moved at all. She was so close to him, his scent intoxicated her, and she felt heat burn in her cheeks at the thoughts that drifted through her mind. She opened her mouth to try and speak, but found herself a captive to the intensity blazing in his normally icy gaze.
The frivolous mood dwindled away in the stillness that settled over them, and a million different emotions seemed to pass in a single instant of uncertainty. It was another of those moments in which the future was murky, life swirling with possibilities and unforeseen outcomes. Even if they were nothing more than threads of a larger fabric, the feeling that passed between them was so immense, and, as if it were by the graces of some cosmic force, the will of their destinies and the will of their hearts were the same.
"Squall," she murmured gently, touching a hand to his face.
He suddenly buried his face in the crook of her neck, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist as he shook slightly. "Looking at you makes me realize all the things that I've done wrong," he whispered. "I pushed you away until you left, I pushed my father away until it was too late, and even now I feel this fear that makes me want to push you away again."
She gently stroked her fingers through his hair, tears stinging her eyes as she felt a slight dampness sink through her sweater. She tightened her embrace on him in comfort, before saying, "It's okay to be afraid. Just don't let it destroy you."
He took a deep breath, her familiar scent calming him. "I... I don't want to be alone anymore."
She gently guided his chin upward until she could look him in the eye. "So don't be."
Each drawn helplessly to the flame of the other, their lips slowly merged into one, dancing softly in a way they hadn't for a year. They melted together in a tight embrace, timid hands grasping firmly what it hadn't held in such a long time. Their kiss was smooth, flowing endlessly and easily like poetry and heating up to a passionate climax. Their kiss deepened, and Rinoa discharged a quiet moan into his throat, reveling in the sensation that she missed so desperately.
Pulling away from him and nipping at his jaw line and neck, she sighed contentedly, her warm breath caressing his skin and sending shivers down his spine. His hands tangled in her hair and pushed her face to his so that he could ravage her mouth once more. Boldly, she allowed her hands to dip beneath his soggy shirt and lightly trace his backbone with her fingernails before sliding her hands to the front and outlining the contours of his chest.
"We have to get you out of this shirt before you get sick," she murmured while Squall kissed at the corners of her mouth and tasted the sensitive flesh of her neck. She withdrew one of her hands so that she could undo the top half of the buttons on his white dress shirt before yanking it off over his head.
Rinoa realized as they came together in another explosive kiss that her dream from before was coming true. She had really seen the future, though the missing pieces had made it completely different that what she had expected at first.
Just like her dream, she was beginning to feel dizzy. She knew things were moving too fast, but she simply couldn't stop. Every part of her being, and every inch of her skin were screaming for his touch. No man could ever really turn her on the way he could, and twelve months hadn't changed that at all.
Of course, it also hadn't changed the fact that he was hopelessly shy. Like the gentlemen he was, he kept his hands safely against her shoulder blades. Rinoa found herself floating back toward earth as she realized that she still couldn't get him to lose control. Even now, as aggressive as his lips were against hers, he still wouldn't touch her the way she wanted him to.
Using every ounce of will power she had, she gently pulled away from him and took a deep breath. The disappointment was written clearly on his face, which only confused her. If he wanted her, why wouldn't he touch her?
"Look, it's getting late," she said once she'd finally caught her breath. "You're welcome to crash on the couch if you want, but I need to get to bed."
By this point, with all his confessions out in the open, his mask had slipped away, and the hurt and rejection he felt was so evident that it pained her. She began to regret her actions, but as her mind drifted back to the morning after their one and only night together, and the week or so of almost complete silence that passed between them afterwards, she realized that no matter how badly she wanted him, she simply wasn't willing to walk that dead end path again.
He scratched at his neck again, cursing beneath his breath and refusing to meet her gaze. "No, I'd hate to impose."
"Really, I wouldn't mind," she stated in a near plead. As much as it hurt to see him like this and not touch him, she didn't want him to go. She had the undeniable feeling that if she let him walk away now, he would never come back.
He sighed heavily. "What the hell do you want from me, Rinoa?"
She was surprised at his question. "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. I... Rinoa, I..." he faltered, unable to voice his emotions. "I feel like this is just some kind of game to you. First you bite my head off, then you act like you owed me an explanation when I haven't even been a part of your life for a year, then you lash out again, and you flirt... one second you're all over me, and the next you're pushing me away. You don't want me to touch you, but you don't want me to leave. So tell me, what can I do? What does it take to make you happy?"
Her eyes filled with tears and she bit harshly into her lip. "I'm sorry. It's just that I was so angry for so long, and then suddenly there you are, and I still want to be angry, but it was so hard when you'd look at me that way... Like a lost little boy. I want you, Squall, but I can't just throw myself back into that prison I lived in before. The feelings I have for you will never go away, but I just can't keep killing myself for something that isn't returned. I mean... it's obvious that you haven't changed."
"Haven't changed? Rinoa, I bared my soul for you just a few minutes ago."
"I know, and for a second, I thought everything was different. Still, you won't just let yourself go. If I can't make you lose control... If I can't make you touch me..."
Confusion distorted his features before he let out a harsh laugh. "Most girls want a gentlemen, but you want someone that gropes you? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was scared of crossing the line? You've been so difficult to please I was afraid I'd do the wrong thing and piss you off. Guess it was a no win situation?"
He bent down to retrieve his shirt, but her firm grip on his arm stopped him. He glanced up to see the tears rolling freely down her cheeks, and again he let out a sigh of remorse. "No," she whispered. "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. I guess I could be rather hard to please. I... I'm sorry. I guess neither of us were really innocent, huh?" She forced a smile as Squall straightened and pulled her up as well. "Right now, there's only one thing I want, one thing that would make me happy."
She found herself once more in his arms, both of his hands gently cradling her face and he took her tears with his lips. It wasn't long before fire was blazing between them again, and this time, he showed no restraint.
His rough, callused hands dove beneath her sweater and ventured up until his thumbs were caressing her hardened nipples through the silk of her bra while he continued his tender assault on her mouth. Her body quivered in response, and she could feel heat spreading through her body, like lava flowing beneath her skin. She reached behind her and unhooked the offending garment, letting it fall carelessly to the floor. He wasted no time in getting acquainted with the smooth, newly exposed flesh, taking each breast in his large and powerful hands and kneading them gently.
Her back arched, pressing her body more firmly against his as a soft cry escaped her lips. The feeling of her curves pressed so closely against him seemed to send him into a frenzy, and he broke away from her mouth to nip roughly at her neck and shoulders. He allowed his hands to travel lower now, and tore open the button and zipper on her jeans before pushing them down her hips. Leaning against him for support, she stepped out them and kicked them away, then slammed him back into the door of her bedroom.
Rinoa could feel something hard pressed against her stomach, and a wicked smile curved her lips as her tongue traced his collarbone. "Hmm, it feels like someone's enjoying this," she purred and tugged on his bottom lip.
An involuntary gasp left Squall's throat as Rinoa's hand suddenly came in contact with his excitement. Giggling at his torment, her hands rubbed against his hardening manhood through the black material, his already snug pants pulling tighter with every stroke. She watched him intently, his head tilted back against the door and his neck working as he groaned and shuddered. She caught herself panting as she allowed her eyes to take in every inch of his exposed body. Just the sight of him was so unbelievably sexy.
She pulled her thick sweater off and tossed it behind her. Her skin pricked as the cold air rushed in to cover her now unprotected chest, and she pressed herself as close as she could to him in hopes of sharing his warmth. He had other ideas for heating her up, though, and he turned her around until her back was pressed against the wooden obstruction, and lifted her up until her breasts were level with his face. He ground his hips into hers, pressing the bulge in his pants enticingly between her legs as he feverishly flicked his tongue across her rigid nipples.
Her nails dug into his back as she moaned and mindlessly bucked her hips against him. Inwardly, she was pulsing with desire, and tried to convey this sentiment through half-lidded eyes while he continued to explore what he had never seen in the light. With one hand firmly gripping his shoulder, she trailed the other lightly down his chest, tickling him with her feathery touch until her fingers hooked around the top of his pants. Just as she was slipping the button out of the small opening, the door gave a groan of protest behind her before giving way beneath the pressure.
The two tumbled to the floor of her bedroom and paused, before breaking into a fit of laughter. "That's what I get for living in a cheap apartment like this," she giggled beneath him.
Squall shifted his weight onto his arms and nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck. He exhaled heavily against her pale, velvet skin and decided that he would take this brief break in their passion to tell her how he felt. "Rinoa... I don't want you to think that I'm doing this just out of lust."
She massaged his back gently and smiled. "The thought never even crossed my mind. You're not that kind of guy. Some things about you really haven't changed... And I'm glad. Squall..." she took a deep breath and forced out the words that had been lingering at the back of her throat since she'd first seen him several nights ago. "I missed you."
He pulled her to him, smashing her up against him in a tight embrace. "I missed you too, Rinoa."
Placing a kiss on his cheek, she wiggled out from beneath him and stood. "Now, you better finish what you started, Mr. Leonhart, or I'm going to be a very unhappy woman."
He climbed to his feet and flicked the light in the bedroom on so that he could see his almost completely nude ex-girlfriend clearly. "It would be my pleasure."
This time she pounced on him and pushed him back against the bed, well earning the right to be the mighty Squall Leonhart's lioness. She straddled his legs and leaned over him, one hand against the mattress to steady herself and the other circling his nipple. His mouth latched on to her breast once more, suckling like a hungry child, and she could feel the wetness between her thighs grow. Her touch strayed lower and pulled down his zipper before slipping inside his pants. The sudden feel of her fingertips fondling him through the thin fabric of his boxer shorts made him bite down on her breast harshly in surprise, prompting from her a shocked but delighted squeal.
She slid down, pausing briefly to pull off his shoes and socks before freeing him completely of his pants. She crawled back up his body, licking a path up his chest and sitting astride him once more. She began to move against him, slowly at first and then picking up pace in a parody of the act they would soon complete. A sheen of sweat covered their skin, and a desperate moan rumbled through his chest as his erection throbbed deliciously against her heat.
Squall could feel himself quickly approaching the edge, and grabbed her hips firmly in order to stop her actions. He rolled her over and held her against the soft mattress. Rinoa's eyes glittered with a combination of lust and love that made him quiver inside. The glint of aggressive fervor blended beautifully in a unique paradox with soft emotion, and he knew her eyes were a chocolate mirror of his own.
His lips enticed hers and his fingers dipped into the black lacy piece of clothing that shielded the last bit of her from his sight. Her mouth opened in a gasp as his fingers grazed her lips, and he took advantage, his tongue battling with her own and tasting every inch of her mouth. He swallowed her cries as he eagerly teased her entrance in revenge for all the torment she'd put him through thus far.
Shifting against him, she hastily pushed the small piece of cloth off her hips and down her legs as far as she could before he took over the job. He placed small kisses along her slender legs on his way back, until he was nipping at her inner thighs. He paused then, for an agonizingly long moment, before she felt his tongue stroke the most sensitive point in her body, forcing out an involuntary hiss through her clenched teeth.
In a breathless voice, she begged him to ease her aching, and he could do nothing more but comply. He was afraid if he tried to hold out much longer, he'd lose it.
He claimed her body with a gentleness that made her heart wrench. There were dull pains as her body worked to accommodate the intrusion it hadn't felt for a year, but the intense feeling of finally being complete again mostly washed the sensation away. Already she could feel herself clamping down on him as he buried himself fully with an unrestrained moan.
Rinoa crushed her eyes shut as the rest of the world faded away. Nothing had ever felt so good, so right in her life, and she wanted nothing more than to cling to him and the feeling he gave her. He moved within her with slow, small thrusts at first, his breath ragged and his muscles tensed in concentration. He traced her features with his thumb, and her eyes fluttered open.
It was just like her dream, but so much better. This was reality, yet she still saw paradise hidden within those heavenly blue eyes of his, along with ever emotion that passed through his soul. She saw there, the exact moment when his control snapped, and he was conquered by his need of her. He plunged himself into her endlessly, the friction building into a divine crescendo more beautiful than any song she could've sang alone.
She bucked and writhed against him, losing her mind and all inhibitions within the surge of wild pleasure that grew between them. His throaty growls echoed her own frantic screams until a cosmic orgasm ripped through her body and she toppled over the edge, taking him with her.
Panting and sweaty among the twisted sheets of her unmade bed, he gathered her into his trembling arms and held her as if she were an extension of himself, and not a separate being at all.
Sleep tugged at her mind as she rained calming kisses against his neck, and she had almost drifted away into the sweet, infinite void of slumber when she heard him sigh in satisfaction, and whisper, "So... how was that for repairing your heater?"
No, it wasn't romantic, and poetic, suave or cool, but it only made her love him even more, if that was possible. This was, after all, reality, not some cheesy fictional romance novel where the hero always said the perfect thing. She giggled and snuggled deeper into him, allowing herself to become intoxicated by his scent and dizzy with his warmth. "I couldn't ask for a better repairman, that's for sure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Damn, was that a long chapter. Just so you know, it took me at least a week if not more, working little by little everyday, to get this complete. But here it is, so return the favor and review.
Next chapter "A Rainbow in my Hands": Rainy skies of gray and blue recede and in its wake, a rainbow of vivid colors is left. Reality becomes the greatest fantasy anyone could ask for, as two people learn to live again. The last chapter of this anti-fairytale may very well have its happy ending after all.