A/N: Last chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own the song "See You Space Cowboy" by Yoko Kanno, performed by Mai Yamane. The lyrics are slightly rearranged for a smoother translation. It's the lyrics that make the song perfect for the last chapter, but if you could actually hear it, it would make an even better closing, as this song is actually a slight variation from the song in the first chapter "Real Folk Blues", but with a completely different message.

Chapter 5: A Rainbow in My Hands

A very sweet dream. For a moment, it seemed that it was all it really was. It was a beautiful, vivid dream, and she would awake to find herself alone, just as she did every morning, just as she had the morning after that first botched encounter all those months ago. It should have been something special then, yet, it was ruined. Why would this be any different? Why would it have ever happened in the first place? It was simply too good to be true, too wonderful to believe that the warmth she felt next to her was real. The morning after, and her initial reaction: disbelief.

As soon as her eyes fluttered open, her vision was flooded with intense sunlight, and she could see nothing beyond the colors exploding before her eyes. (It doesn't matter, he isn't here to see) she thought, cringing against the brightness that threatened to invade her reality.

She stiffened as she suddenly felt movement next to her, and suddenly, the blinding sun light was gone, replaced with a comforting shadow. She chuckled slightly at her own foolishness. There had been no reason to fear the truth in the first place. This reality was better than any dream.

So he really was there, sleeping peacefully next to her. So it was true that he felt something for her. But what would happen now? Where would they go, what would they do? He was quitting SeeD, he could stay here with her if he wanted, but was that what he wanted? Did she still want this life, even with him by her side? She wasn't sure she could sing such lonely songs for a living, now that she was so happy... not that she minded that.

"Brooding is supposed to be my department," a groggy voice announced from her side.

She smiled. "Your habits are starting to rub off on me."

An unfamiliar ring tone entered her ears from the direction of her living room, and she raised a questioning eyebrow at the door. "It's my cell phone," Squall explained, though he made no move to get up. "It was in my coat pocket, which I'm guessing is somewhere on the living room floor now with the rest of our clothes."

"Oh, I see. You think they're worried about you?" Rinoa asked.

"Yeah."

"Then shouldn't you answer it?"

"I'm not getting up right now. Feel free to go answer it if it bothers you that much," he replied, shielding his eyes with his forearm and gently stroking her back with his free hand.

"Nope," she sighed in contentment. "I don't think I could get up right now if I wanted do. You wore me out." He nuzzled his face into her neck as she spoke, and at her last words she felt a smile form against her skin. "Proud of yourself, huh?" she laughed. "That's all right, you deserve to be. Seriously... I was thinking..."

He groaned, the sound muffled against her shoulder. "Irvine warned me about this."

"About what?"

"This 'pillow talk' thing you women do in the morning."

"Is that why you left the first time?" she asked, the words slipping out before she could really think them through.

He raised his head until his eyes met with hers. "I was a frightened idiot," he answered seriously. "There's no other excuse, no other reason, but that."

"You'll make up for it," she smiled, until her previous thoughts returned. "Won't you?"

"Are you asking if I'll stay with you?" At her hesitant nod, he placed a brief kiss on her lips and held her a little bit tighter. "I'll... I'll stay with you forever if you'll let me. I... I..." as much as he wanted to say it, he was unable to get past his throat the words he so desperately wanted to say.

"It's all right," she said quickly, placing a finger over his lips. No, it wasn't the perfect moment that she dreamed of for so long, no, he wasn't the perfect man. But staring down into his eyes, seeing everything he wanted to say but couldn't voice, she came to one conclusion. "That's all I need right now."

"Is it just me, or did they not seem very surprised at this?" Rinoa asked, her arm looped with that of her lover's as they walked together away from the Presidential Palace after their visit with Quistis and Selphie.

Squall shrugged. "Maybe they're just intuitive?"

"Intuitive hell, they acted like this whole thing had just been a matter of time." She turned to look at him suspiciously, but his gaze was directed toward the brilliant blue sky above. "Have you... given any thought to what you'll do after your work here is over?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever you want."

"I wanna get married!" she exclaimed, for the sheer sake of testing him.

"Don't push your luck," he replied with a tiny, teasing smile.

"You're no fun," she sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. They had come to a stop aside of a fancy restaurant where Squall was scheduled to meet with the candidate from his father's party. "So, will you come watch me perform tonight?" she asked, gazing up at him hopefully. That morning, as he was in the shower, she'd sat down and composed a song with him in mind. She planned to sing it at the bar, but if he wouldn't be there, there would be no point.

"Of course I'll be there," he said, then shook his head. "I'll try my best to be there. I won't promise you something that I'm not certain I can keep... but I will do everything in my power to be there."

She smiled, appreciative of his honesty. "Will you miss me?" she asked.

He touched her face, and that small bit of contact reminded her how good it was to be alive. "Yes, Rinoa. I will. You know... you'll always be on my mind."

He kissed her briefly, stealing away whatever words formed on her lips. Before she could respond, he had disappeared into the restaurant, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Those words... She placed a hand to her face where her skin still tingled from his touch, and grinned. "Intuitive hell... they knew the truth all along."

The lights dimmed, and her heart began to pound once more. It was a natural human reaction, something that she would never quite get over, and it only increased as she wondered if the audience would like her new song, which was quite a bit different from anything she'd sang before that.

'It doesn't matter, it's not for them anyway.'

The room was completely dark now, save the stage light that suddenly flickered on to illuminate her. Still, squinting against the light, she noticed the door in the corner open up, and a familiar figure walk in, taking a seat at an empty booth.

"Good evening, everyone," she greeted, still sounding shy and unsure of herself, even after all this time. "I've got a new song to sing for you guys tonight, it's a lot different from my usual stuff. I hope you like it."

She closed her eyes, not so much hearing the piano begin to play, and the subtle bass that joined in as feeling it. It was a slight variation of the song she sang days ago, a tale of blues and sorrow that had dominated her life. She smiled just slightly. There was no need to live in the world of blues and grays any longer.

As I thought everything was over

I closed my ears to your voice

The words that you spoke floated away In tomorrow

I found no comfort

The feelings that she felt, the emotions that she poured into her words... it wasn't something that she had experienced alone. Hundreds of miles and a lifetime away, the other half of her soul was left to pick up the pieces she'd left behind.

Squall could remember that day perfectly. The argument, the harsh words exchanged... knocking on her door hours later to check on her, only to realize that she wasn't there. She didn't leave a note, but then, she didn't have to. The room was completely empty aside from a few pictures of the two of them together, an old shirt of his that she'd stolen, and, the thing that really drove her departure from his life home, his ring lying alone in the middle of her desk.

As the days past, and it became clear that she might never come back, he decided that the only thing he could do was try to forget. Like the memories of childhood suffering that still haunted him, he wanted his memories of her to fade, so that the pain he felt might also drift away. He blocked out her voice, the words and broken promises she made, the glint in her eyes when she looked at him... It wasn't worth it to remember, he convinced himself. She was just another person to walk out on him, no different than the rest.

In the night, I prayed for it to disappear

What do you believe, and where do you go

Our shooting star was the color of tears

And our laughter has passed away

It was unbearable, ten times worse than anything before. He felt like that child he thought he'd left behind, the boy who had foolishly let his hopes rise, only to have them crushed once more beneath the weight of reality. It wasn't as if she had died, or been taken away against her will. What stung the most, to the point where he could not function if he allowed himself to feel it, was the fact that she left him on her own, gone back on everything she'd ever said to him. He pledged his life to her, and for what? It had all been a meaningless fairy tale in the end. Something meant only to make him more miserable. At the time, he could only see one side of the story.

For a year he went on, not quite living, just lingering on the border between existence and death, as though his life were nothing more than a nightmare from which he would one day awake. He shut down his emotions, and buried himself beneath mountains of work to keep his mind from wandering to the fatal subject of his broken heart. He could not allow himself to feel it, much less express it. It was more than just a matter of pride this time, more than wanting to escape the pity people would feel for him. It was survival.

There is nothing that doesn't change...

Two months prior to his mission in Esthar, he received a call from Laguna. Word of Rinoa's great talent had spread through the city, and eventually reached the ears of the President himself. Squall hadn't wanted to know where Rinoa was. After all, his sole purpose in life was now to just forget about her. His father wouldn't let it go, however. He went so far as to send him a tape of one of Rinoa's performances that someone had taken, and it was that which changed everything.

Sorrow, remorse, anger... even through the tape he could feel it pouring off of her. The words that she sang, the tears that glittered in her eyes with every word... It was like standing before the ashes of a building you'd set aflame, seeing how the life once contained within had fled and now stood in dark, unforgiving ruins. She had suffered... at his hand, no less. For the first time, he really thought about the things he'd put her through. For the first time, he understood her side of the story. Could he have prevented her leaving? Could he have stopped both of them from being miserable? While it didn't change the fact that she had fled from him, breaking a promise he had trusted in with all his being, he knew now he wasn't exactly innocent himself.

Even if my life is gone

You cannot extinguish my love

It will live on eternally

Even if the dream is hiding in the darkness

I've got a rainbow... in my hands

When it became apparent that Laguna was in the last stages of his life, he requested the help of SeeD, asking specifically that his son be in the team they sent. After all, he and Selphie spoke quite frequently, and she let him know that while sharing his information on Rinoa had done some good, Squall wouldn't do anything without a push in the right direction. Laguna used his unfortunate circumstances to his son's advantage, making it his last personal mission in life. At the other end, Quistis and Selphie did what women do best, nagging and yelling at Squall until he simply didn't have the will to protest anymore.

Somewhere during the ride between Balamb and Esthar, he decided that it didn't matter if she turned her back on him. No matter how hard he tried to block her out, her image still lingered in the back of his mind, plaguing his dreams, following him during every waking step. He would never be able to let her go. And so, there was nothing else to do but get her back.

Your voice passes deep in my mind

And in the morning, I prayed for the truth

There are some things that never change

Love will come back here again...

She watched him through the crowd, unable to take her eyes off of his. Every song she ever sang was directed at him, and yet, this was the first she could ever really sing to him. Watching him, she realized that, for the first time since her mother had passed away, she no longer felt alone.

There was a time not so long ago when her mind could not have ever imagined this, sitting here and singing her sentiments of love to a man she had never wanted to lay eyes on again. It was true that she could never forget... his voice, his face, those burning eyes were all deeply imprinted into her memory, things that she could never escape from now matter how hard she tried. She wouldn't dare hope that he would ever come chasing after her, like some prince in a childhood tale that couldn't bare to be parted from his princess. Even if he had come...

'He did come... it just took him a while...'

It was not as if she could accept him with open arms. Pride was far too powerful a force to take back seat to her hidden longings. How much more suffering had she caused the both of them with her stubbornness?

'Would he have come here for me, if he didn't like me that way? It's nice to know some things don't change.'

Love never dies

Love never feigns

Love never ever fades away

It was true, his feelings had never died or faded, not even after all the time he spent trying to deny he even felt that way anymore. His feelings were strangled by pride, attacked with pain, and buried beneath more anger than he cared to recall. All that, to try and stifle a feeling that would never leave him in peace.

'Such foolish creatures we can be... we only make things harder for ourselves...'

This love won't fade away

It stays forever

Breaking darkness

Leave behind the phantoms

Frozen in time

Our love is waiting

In the far beyond rainbow

She smiled at him, her invitation expressed as she reached out her hand, the longing for him to answer clearly illuminated in the spot light.

'Leave behind your ghosts and demons. Let it be just us now.'

It wasn't that simple, the both of them knew it. But it was a place to start, something to work towards that would hopefully one day mend their relationship of the wounds inflicted by the phantoms they couldn't seem to leave behind.

'We'll do it together, no more going it alone.'

He nodded slightly, his unspoken response to an equally silent question. No one could do it alone, a lesson that, while she understood it, even she had problems putting into action. After all, running off like that wasn't the first time she'd gotten in trouble while trying to act alone.

'We've both learned a lesson.'

You've got a rainbow

A rainbow in your hands

'You've got a second chance... we both do...'

He didn't stand up and clap with the others in the bar, his legs felt as if they couldn't move at all. It was an indescribable feeling, watching her glow beneath the stage lights and smile at him, knowing what she was offering him... her life, her heart, the chance to start anew.

She left the stage, and he finally stood from his seat, walking closer to the stairway where she would soon meet him. As he stood there, a place he almost felt he didn't belong for its connections in a more bitter part of their past, the question of what would come after this once again rose into his mind.

He'd brushed off her question earlier, as if he hadn't given it any thought at all. Of course that was far from the truth with him. The question had risen in his mind after awaking that morning... of course, this was after he spent a few moments recalling and relishing the events that had ended up with her in his arms. He didn't feel comfortable staying in Esthar, but if she wanted to...

"Squall?" a voice came from the spot beside him pulling him from his deep analysis of the future. "That's one habit I'll never break you from, isn't it?"

He smiled, just a little, but it wasn't necessary. She could tell from his eyes alone that he was content in this moment. Still, he was trying harder to express himself for her sake, and the effort was touching, no matter how small. "You're welcome to try as long as you want to."

"All right, then. That will be my goal for the future."

"And the rest?" he asked.

She shrugged and giggled a little. "It's our story. Let's just write it as we go."

Taking his hand, the two stepped outside. Rain pounded down upon the streets, as if trying to wash the earth clean of its sins. The road had begun to resemble a shallow river, and it seemed that not a soul besides them existed, the land animals known as humans having mostly scrambled for shelter when the first few drops fell from the sky.

Turning to him with a mischievous grin, she grabbed his hand and pulled him through the heavenly downpour, her typical weariness at the dark skies that would gather overhead forgotten as she ran, laughing like a child and even coaxing a smile from her usually stern-faced lover.

By the time they'd reached her apartment once more, breathless and shivering in their damp clothes, it was nearing sunset outside. Digging through her purse for her keys, Rinoa happen to glance up at the sky and gasped slightly.

"Look!" she exclaimed, pointing at the bright streak of colors painted in an arc across the sky. She giggled slightly to herself, but was abruptly halted as a pair of lips pressed themselves against hers.

He pulled away slightly, pressing one hand to her face and using the other to tightly grasp her hand. "Rinoa... I..."

He wanted to say it, she could tell, but the words seemed caught in his throat. She smiled and shook her head, squeezing his hand in hers. There was no need to rush, after all. They had the rest of their lifetimes to talk it through. "I know," she replied gently. "You can tell me later."

I've got a rainbow

In my hand...

A/N: Corniest, mushiest, ending ever. And worst of all, I constantly conked you in the head with the symbolism mallet. Please forgive me. The story simply refused to come to a close until I used the rainbow and rain analogies at least two or three times.

Now, allow me, if you will, to direct you once again to the soon to be posted rewritten version of Dreaming Awake. Completely redone, nothing like the original. I basically just removed all the chapters posted there but one, and that one will be replaced. I all ready have about three or four chapters of it written, so I should be able to do regular updates for a while.