Chapter 22:: I Love You.. Do You Love Me?
This chapter contains the song 'I Knew I Loved You' by Savage Garden. Yeah, yeah, you know the gist of it all, I don't own it, and good old Savage Garden does. Well, what used to be Savage Garden, anyway. OK, let's get fluffy!
Karina walked out of her bedroom the next day, or rather very early the next morning, her eyes looking like they could tear up any second, her mouth in a small straight line. She was wearing her white and blue pajamas, and a dark blue embroidered robe. She cupped her hands and sighed. Karina tilted her head to the side and shut her eyes, taking in a deep breath before knocking lightly on Billy's door.
A few moments passed and she almost turned back to return to her room when the door opened slowly. Billy stepped out, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. His hair was tousled, and he ran one hand through it as if to get some of it out of his eyes. He blinked. "Karina?"
"Good morning, Billy.." Karina whispered and bit her bottom lip.
"Good morning, Karina. I thought you got up after 2:00." He whispered and blinked.
"I couldn't sleep." She replied and stepped forward. "Could I come in?"
Billy shrugged and looked back in his room. "I don't see why not. It's not like I'm gonna get any sleep after this."
"Thank you.." She murmured and stepped in as Billy stepped to the side. Billy shut the door slowly behind him and flipped on the light. "Aren't Fei and Bart going to get mad at you for doing that?"
"Eh." Billy shrugged.
Karina smiled briefly, but almost immediately went back to her sullen expression.
Billy flopped onto his bed and gently pat the other side of the twin bed. "Have a seat."
Karina nodded slowly and sat down.
"What can I do for you?" He said, smiling sleepily.
Karina whispered, over the din of Bart and Fei snoring, "Are people going to.. Blame me? For all that happened to Cimerion?"
Billy sat up quickly, resting back on the palms of his hands. "Of course not.. I mean.. There's no way they'd ever find out that's what those gears were after.."
"But.. But what if they do?" Karina murmured.
"It still wasn't your fault, Karina.." Billy said quickly, almost before she had even finished speaking.
"But it was! They came for me! If I weren't here then this wouldn't have happened at all!" Karina hissed sharply, trying to keep from making her voice loud enough for Bart or Fei to wake up.
"Karina!" Billy hissed, grabbing her wrists. Surprised at himself for taking force on her, Billy released Karina, then continued. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself.."
"..Billy.." Karina's lip trembled. "I'm just so.. so scared that more people will.." She faltered, then fell into Billy's arms. "Why did he have to do that, Billy?!" She cried, clenching his shirt.
Billy made a gentle shushing sound, running his fingers through her hair slowly and rubbing her back gently to try and comfort her. He sighed as Karina rested her head on his shoulder. "Karina.. Zeke loved you.. He wanted to protect you.. With everything."
Karina sobbed into Billy's shoulder, but he didn't care. He just wanted her to know that he was, undoubtedly, there for her when she needed him. He knew that much of their relationship was based on a strong friendship, and he wanted to show her how strongly he took their friendship.
"Kari.. Please.." Billy murmured, leaning back against the headboard so that Karina was half-laying, half-sitting up. "Stop hurting yourself over this.."
He remembered how hard it had been on them the night before. No one had an appetite, so there was practically no dinner. Everyone was mourning over the emptiness of the ship as well as the emptiness of their hearts. Karina had cried to sleep, with Kajumei, Brad, and himself by her side the whole time. Actually, after a while, Kajumei and Brad found it too hard to stay with Karina while she was in so much pain, and left her alone with him. Karina had begged him to stay there with her, clutching onto his hand. She had never asked hardly anything of him, and the request was hardly anything, so Billy had sat down in a chair next to the bed and talked to her quietly while she tried to calm down.
Karina leaned against his shoulder, feeling suddenly heavy. Billy just held on tighter, knowing that now, more than ever, she needed his support and whatever strength he could give to her. Tonight there was to be a reception for the lives lost the day before. The city had been combed through all the rest of that evening, and there were hardly any survivors, other than the many that had made it to the bomb shelter. The search would continue as long as it had to, to try and find as many survivors as possible.
Even if Karina hadn't loved Zeke the way Zeke had loved her, Billy could tell that her heart was breaking over his death. She had spoken often to him about how nice Zeke had always been, and how good a friend he was. Billy felt his heart wrench as he realized that he had never really given Zeke a chance to be friends with him. Zeke had been friendly from the beginning, but Billy had never treated him as a friend because of the competition of love interests.
Billy felt Karina grow even heavier, and paused, stroking her hair for a moment. He looked at her and realized that she had fallen asleep in his arms. She still didn't look at peace, even in her sleep. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyelids were puffy from crying, her cheeks were flushed, and her lips drooped in a sad frown. He felt his heart fill with pity while he looked at her. Trying not to disturb her, he laid her gently on the mattress, covering her with the sheets. He ran his fingers along the edge of her cheekbone, and brushed the strands of hair from her face.
He stood up and walked to the door, opening it slowly before shutting the light off. He shuffled in the dark to Jessie's room, opening the door and walking in. He went up to Jessie's bed and poked his shoulder. Jessie gave a sound that was something of a snort, then turned over, pulling his covers over his head. Billy squinted, then poked Jessie's shoulder harder.
"Dad.. wake up!" Billy hissed. "Dad!" He repeated as Jessie stirred. Jessie sat up, blinking sleepily. Like his son always did, he ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his eyes. He looked up at Billy, still half-asleep.
"Uh.. Boy.. what're you.. doin'?" Jessie mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"I need to sleep here.." Billy whispered. "My bed.."
Jessie's eyes bulged. "What did you DO, boy? I mean, I thought you were like.. TRAINED not to.."
"Dad!" Billy blushed. "I didn't.. Nevermind, just scoot over!"
"Hell no, you ain't sleepin' in my sanctuary!" Jessie snapped.
"Dad, come on.." Billy hissed, grabbing the covers.
"Why do you even NEED to sleep here, boy?" Jessie growled.
Billy looked to the side, then murmured, "Karina's there. She was upset and I was comforting her and.. she fell asleep, OK? I couldn't just throw her on the floor."
Jessie thought about it a moment, working his tongue as if he wanted to say something, but chose not to. "So, why don't you sleep in her bed?"
"That wouldn't be right! Sh-she sleeps with all of the other girls and if they woke up and found me there they might kill me!"
"Why would they kill you?" Jessie mumbled.
"Because! You know girls.. They get all squealy if a guy is in their room and get all violent.." Billy looked to the side.
"Go sleep in Prim's room." Jessie muttered.
"I'm not sleeping in Primera's room!" Billy snapped. "Now move over!"
"Agh, fine, but if you try to steal my covers, you'll be going the right way for a smacked bottom!" Jessie hissed, scooting over.
Billy just murmured something that was most likely sarcastic and curled up in the space of the bed that Jessie had allotted him. He winced as Jessie rapidly dozed off, into a din of snoring and turning over. Billy just clamped his eyes shut and tried to get Karina's pain out of his head.
Morning came more rapidly than Billy had wanted, and soon he found Jessie nudging him to wake up. Billy gave a reluctant groan, and felt Jessie sit up. He tried to get in a few more moments of shut-eye, but his father had made sure that that wasn't going to happen. Jessie gave a heave, making Billy roll off the bed and hit the hard, chilly floor.
Billy shook his head and sat up, resting back on his palms. He looked up at Jessie through one eye; the other still shut from sleepiness. He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily as Jessie stood and walked into the bathroom. Before his father shut the door, Jessie leaned back and gave Billy a broad grin.
"Morning, boy!" He shouted, then went into the bathroom. Billy muttered some curse word after his father, then stood up, feeling his bones popping as he stretched. He then shuffled out of his father's room and back into the one he shared with Bart and Fei. Fei and Bart's beds were empty, giving a signal that the two were already awake.
Billy shuffled over to his bed, plopping down on an unoccupied portion of the mattress. He ran his hand along the portion of covered body that was most likely Karina's head, then made a move to pull back the covers. What happened next he did not expect.
"G'MORNIN' BILLY!" Came a shout, and the covers exploded up, flying off the bed. Billy gave a startled scream, falling back. His frightened, surprised expression quickly became that of anger when he saw the crown prince of Aveh sitting on his shins in his bed, where Karina was supposed to be.
"Bart! What the hell are you doing?!" Billy snapped, jumping to his feet. He clenched his fists, then placed them on his hips.
Bart gave him a puppy dog look, then stood up. "Just trying to give you a happy good morning greeting, is all, Billy-boy."
Billy rolled his eyes. "What about Karina? Where is she?" Billy asked, pointing at the bed.
"What do you mean?" Bart blinked, stepping back. "Karina isn't in here, man."
"But.. But she was right here!" Billy cried, pointing at the bed. His face immediately flushed, and he slowly looked up at Bart, who was wearing a coy smirk.
"What do you MEAN, Billy?"
"Ah!" Billy cried out, jumping back and holding up his hands in surprise. "I-I don't mean it THAT way! I just mean.. I mean.. uh.." Billy looked up at Bart, who was looking back with an unbelieving expression. "I didn't sleep with her or anything!"
"Didn't sleep with who?" Fei asked, shuffling in. He was already dressed, and was squeezing water out of his hair with a towel.
"Billy says that Karina was in his bed. Sleeping." Bart murmured slowly.
"Not in that way, though!" Billy shouted before Bart could even finish his sentence. Fei looked from Billy, to Bart, then back to Billy. He just shrugged, walking up to his bed. He sat down and pulled a shoe on.
"So, she was in your bed?" Fei asked, looking at Billy. "Why?"
Billy sighed, then glared at Bart sideways. "She came in earlier, and she was really upset.."
"So you got in her pants?! Man, you were quiet.." Bart whispered.
"No!" Billy flushed. "I tried to comfort her.. And she fell asleep, and rather than disturb her, I just let her sleep here and I slept in my dad's room."
Fei shrugged. "Well, she wasn't here when I got up before Bart."
"She was probably still upset about yesterday, so she went somewhere to think." Bart shrugged.
"Why hasn't any of this affected YOUR jolly ways, Bart?" Billy squinted at Bart, folding his arms.
Bart flinched. "It has, Black. I just try to make other people feel better, is all. I don't like people thinking about things that are just going to upset them. Frowning takes 5 minutes off your life each time you do it."
"Bart.. That's smoking." Fei hissed.
Bart turned to Fei, giving him a rather angry glare. "I knew that, Fong Wong! I was TRYING to exaggerate to prove a point!"
"Some point." Fei muttered under his breath, pulling on the second shoe.
"..I'm going to go find Karina.." Billy whispered, stepping towards the doorway.
"In your PJ's?" Bart asked, giving Billy a sarcastic smirk.
"Yes, in my PJ's.." Billy hissed. He left the room and walked down the hallway, trying to think up places where Karina might be, let alone what he was going to say to her when he found her. He knew what he needed to say, but wasn't sure if he could even do it.
He first looked in the Gunroom, thinking that she most likely wouldn't be there, but it was worth a try. Just as he had suspected, she wasn't there. He continued on to the Gear Dock, with no sight of her there, either. Next came the medical bay, which was filled with wounded mechanics and workers. No sign of her. He continued to look all about the lower level of the Yggdrasil, with no luck, and then moved onto the upper level. After finding no sign of her in the Bridge, he moved to climb up the ladder that led out of the hatch to the top of the ship. As he clambered up to the steel top of the ship, a stiff, early morning breeze hit him, sending the smell of burning and smoke and, though he didn't know what it was so he thought of it as a single thing, death. He shut his eyes, trying to separate all of the saddening smells of the day before from the calming scent of the briny ocean. He felt his loose pajamas flutter in the wind, then opened his eyes, shivering.
Near the very nose of the ship, sitting with her knees bunched up against her chest, her hair fluttering in the wind was Karina. Giving a sigh of relief, Billy walked slowly towards her, trying not to disturb her from whatever thoughts that she was sorting out. He sat down next to her, folding his legs up to his chest in the same fashion as Karina. She looked at him silently, her face ghost-pale, her eyes a cold deep bluish-purple, her cheeks flushed and streaked with new tears. Billy looked back at her, with the same understanding silence, and reached out slowly to pull her next to him so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
After a few moments, Billy asked, "Want to talk?"
Karina didn't answer, but gently shook her head as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. Billy placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"Alright, then. We'll just sit here.. and think." Billy smiled softly, moving his hand to stroke a few strands of light feather soft hair.
Karina sucked in a raspy breath as another gust of morning wind brought the smell of smoke resting in the air before whispering, "Thank you, Billy.."
Brad stood alone in a darkened room, staring outward, or perhaps inward, at a spiraling helix of light, or maybe deepening darkness. He was cold, not on the outside, but on the in, or maybe he was cold outside and not in. He heard a soft whisper coming from the spiraling, contracting, ever changing helix. Or maybe the voice was coming from inside himself.
~It's your entire fault..~ It said to him, the helix's hue dimming.
"..What is?" Brad murmured, stepping back.
~All of this.. You know of what I speak.~
"I don't.." Brad whispered.
~Your sister..~ The helix flashed, ~Is realizing her final fate deep in her heart, even if her conscious state has not yet been informed.. Yet you are denying.. Your fate..~
"What are you talking about?!" Brad demanded, trying to step closer to the helix, but every time he tried, it moved away.
~Do you not remember the pain you felt the moment the fires of manmade machinery's betrayal attacked your own eyes?~ The helix flashed once again.
Brad fell back as a searing pain filled his face, a pain not unlike that of the one that he had felt the day before when a rod had burst during the overheating of the cannon, sending sparks and steam into his face. The pain quickly cooled, and soon was only a memory. "W-What.."
~No normal human could have healed in the way that you did. Not a scar on your pale face. Have you ever truly looked at yourself, Child of the Soul? Your eyes are an impossible blue, with sparks of starlight swirling in the deep midnight. Your entire being is flawless, yet you try and hide it with your clothing, with the way you carry yourself. You are trying to look like a normal human which in your heart you know you are not.~
Brad fell back. "No, I'm not different. I am a normal human, just like my sister is.."
~You know that that is a lie..~
"But.. but Karina.. She and I are normal human beings!"
~You tell yourself that, Child of the Soul..~ The spiraling shape pulsated once more.
Brad tightened his lip, trying to think of something to say. "Why do you say this?"
~..Look inside your heart, Beruvine.. Look deep, deeper than ever you could imagine. In the deep well of the soul you shall find your answers..~
"..Beruvine?" Brad asked, and then felt the air around him grow colder. A wind picked up, swirling about him in a spiral of freezing air. Brad felt his eyes roll back in his head, saw no more, and felt no more. He fell back in the spiraling freeze, and all went dark..
"Dude.. dude.. DUDE!" Ziggy hissed, poking Brad, who was still asleep.
Brad shook Ziggy off, mumbling about something under his breath. He sat up rapidly, shaking his head. He groaned, and then gripped his forehead. Ziggy stood up, placing his hands to his hips.
"Mon, what the heck is up with you?" Ziggy asked, giving Brad a look like Brad was crazy.
Brad looked at Ziggy sideways, shutting one eye the block out the glare of the sun. "What do you mean, Zig?"
"You were like.. Yelling in your sleep! Woke poor little Zig-man from his beauty sleep, ya know!" Ziggy folded his arms, falling back on his bed.
"Planning on hibernating for the winter, eh, Zig?" Brad asked, standing up slowly.
"..No.. Wait.. What?" Ziggy blinked.
"Never mind, Zig." Brad shook his head, heading slowly for the bathroom.
"Hey, Mon. You're shaking." Ziggy commented, standing up.
"No, I ain't.." Brad hissed quickly before shutting the door behind him.
Ziggy looked at the door confusedly for a few moments, and then shrugged, turning back to his bed. He flopped down and pulled the sheets over his head. "And now back to my dreams.. heh heh.." He rolled onto his side, muttering, "No, Karina.. that outfit isn't too skimpy.." He then drifted off into soft chuckles.
"Another day, another problem.." Sigurd whispered, brushing a fallen object off of the main command console. He sighed, and then leaned forward, resting his forehead in his hands.
"It's not all that bad, Sigurd." Sierra commented, walking up next to him. She quickly tensed and looked around. "Hyuga's not hovering behind me with a gun, is he?"
Sigurd gave a soft laugh, looking up at Sierra. "Era.. Stop trying to make me feel better.."
Sierra shook her head. "Hell, I don't give a damn if YOU feel good, I'm just worried about Hyuga keeping his tight-wad-meanie-pants threat about killing me if I ever returned.."
"Honestly, Era, how long have you known Hyuga? Has he ever carried out his threats to kill people? Ever?" Sigurd asked, turning to face Sierra.
"..Hmm.. Well, there was that one time he almost strangled Jessiah when he broke his glasses." Sierra looked up, as if trying to think of certain incidents.
"That was insanely hilarious." Sigurd said gently, standing up straight. He looked up at a clock, blinking. "When did we wake up?"
"With the sun, my dear friend." Sierra nodded, yawning.
"I'd like to see the young master wake up early to repair the ship just once in my career." Sigurd said, with a somewhat bitter sound to his voice.
"I think Bart is useless unless he gets at least eight hours of sleep." Sierra commented. She turned her head to look at Sigurd. "Karina told me something.."
"Really?" Sigurd asked, bending over to tinker with a few controls on the main console. "What did she say?"
"..She told me.." Sierra paused, hopping off of the railing she had been perched on. "That you missed me.."
Sigurd's eye widened slightly, and Sierra noted just a faint blush appearing on his amber cheeks. He looked up at her, brushing a few strands of silver hair from his eye. "..What?"
Sierra gave him a rather annoyed look, turning away from him. "Well, did you or didn't you? I need to know so I can either hug Karina or choke her to death."
Sigurd gave a soft chuckle, standing up. "If you're asking me if I missed you boisterous, un-feminine, rude, and total lack of regal upbringing, then.."
Sierra began laughing, stepping forward. "I get it, I get it. It was nice without me here, wasn't it?"
Sigurd smiled back, taking her hands in his. "It wasn't nearly as fun, Era." He said gently.
"..Really, Sig?" Sierra smiled slightly. "Wandering from Cimerion bar to Cimerion bar isn't too fun, either."
"So, you stayed in Cimerion this entire time?" Sigurd asked gently.
"Yep. I was hoping you guys would usurp power from Hyuga and come rescue the only person that has ever been on this ship with an actual personality.."
"The only one? I believe that Ziggy is a rather colorful character.. And.. We won't get into Jessiah." Sigurd sighed, running his fingers along one of the railings.
"Ew.. Jessiah. Hyuga's gotten really boring. He's all.. old." Sierra commented. "Like you, Sigurd."
"I'm not old. I've told you before, I'm not old." Sigurd retorted, folding his arms.
"You act like you're sixty!" Sierra laughed, hopping back onto the railing she had previously been perched on.
"I do not." Sigurd sighed, looking away.
"Oh, yeah, right." Sierra rolled her eyes.
Sigurd laid a hand on her shoulder. "Let's go have some breakfast, Era. We've been working for a long time and I think we've earned ourselves a little break."
Sierra gave him a strange look, then threw an arm over his shoulders, nodding. "I agree, Sig! Let's have us some pancakes, my brother!"
Sigurd chuckled again, putting an arm shyly around her waist. Sierra grinned up at him, and then nodded at the door.
"We're off to see the breakfast table, the wonderful breakfast table of.. The Yggdrasil!" She whooped, practically pulling Sigurd out of the bridge.
"Good morning, young ones." Citan murmured as he stepped in, looking at the rather morose group. Everyone was already up, but he didn't see Karina or Billy. He had seen the eldest Black son walking around earlier, but he was not currently present.
"What's up, Doc?" Fei smiled slightly, holding out his hand for a high five.
Citan looked at Fei's hand strangely for a moment, and then asked. "What do you want me to do, young one?"
"Hyuga, how old are you?" Jessie asked, placing his feet up on the coffee table. Sigurd leaned over and smacked his muddy boots with a magazine, giving Jessie a rather disapproving look. Jessie looked back at Sigurd. "What?"
Brad tapped his foot impatiently on the leg of the chair next to him. He stood up rapidly, almost knocking Ziggy out of the chair next to Brad. "Where is she?!"
"Who, you macadamia nut?" Kajumei looked up at him sarcastically.
"You know who, you little germ!" Brad snapped.
"Is this some sick form of foreplay?" Bart leaned next to Jessie and whispered.
"I dunno. I think the boy is pulling foreplay on his wife, though." Jessie shrugged, setting down his coffee.
"What?!" Brad's gaze shot to Jessie.
"She's not my wife, dad." Billy's voice came from behind Brad. Billy walked out from behind him, sitting down next to Primera on the sofa. "How many times do I have to tell you?"
Brad growled under his breath, and then took a seat, folding his arms.
"Honestly, boogie-boo, why did you act like a deranged psychiatric ward patient whenever Karina is out of the room or with a person who happens to have the reproductive organs that of a male?" Kajumei asked, snatching Brad's coffee and taking a sip of it.
"Boogie-boo?" Fei squinted, and looked at Bart. "Dude.. she called him boogie-boo."
"I saw it, man." Bart nodded, looking at Jessie. "What about you, Funky Fresh?"
"Yep. I saw it with my own two eyes." Jessie nodded.
"Since when did people see sounds?" Billy squinted at Jessie.
"You take every chance you get to insult me, don't you, boy?" Jessie squinted back at Billy.
"You insult yourself, father." Billy replied, putting extra emphasis on 'father'.
"So, did you find your woman, Billers?" Bart asked, folding his hands and placing them on his lap.
"What?!" Brad snapped, almost jumping up again.
"She's not my woman, Bart." Billy hissed. "And yes, I did find her. Right now, she's in the shower."
"You didn't find her in the shower, did you, Mon?" Ziggy leaned forward. "I'll bet she's hot in the shower.. All wet and lathery and.."
Rico picked up his coffee mug and smashed it over Ziggy's head, making coffee spill all over. Sigurd sighed, shaking his head.
"Another one of my good coffee mugs bites the dust." Sigurd whispered.
"It's death did not go without cause." Rico responded.
Bart placed his hand over his mouth to make a sort of trumpet, and began making a trumpet-esque sound, playing Taps.
"Bart, you freak." Maria squinted at Bart.
"I know." Bart replied, stopping his dirge for the fallen coffee mug.
"I don't think now is the appropriate time to be joking about death, young prince." Citan warned. Bart rolled his eye, turning his head to Citan.
"So, you propose that we all just not have lives because of this?" Bart asked.
"No, I just propose that you pay respects for those lost." Citan answered.
"I am in my own way, man!" Bart slumped in his seat, folding his arms to his chest. He looked at the door as Karina shuffled in. She had her hair tied up in two loose buns, and wore very casual clothes. She looked drained, and weak, not her normal cheerful way.
She sat cross-legged on the floor next to Kajumei, who leaned over and rested her head on Karina's shoulder. "How's my girl feeling this morning?" Kajumei asked, playing with one of the buns.
Karina shrugged, looking down. She hadn't uttered a word all morning, even the entire time she had spent with Billy on the top of the Yggdrasil.
Ziggy sat up quickly, coffee flying off of his head. "Ow, Mon, feels like I got hit by a rock!" He hissed. Rico's eyes widened.
"He's not staying knocked out long enough anymore.." Rico hissed, grabbing another coffee mug. Before he could complete his task, Sigurd grabbed the coffee mug.
"Not another death, Rico. My heart can't take it." Sigurd sighed, setting the mug gently next to him.
Karina looked upward, sighing gently. Primera hopped off of the sofa, toddling up next to Karina. She sat down, cross-legged as well, and looked up at her 'big sister'. Karina looked back down at Primera, smiling gently. She put an arm around the younger girl and gave her a gentle hug.
"Jealous, Billers?" Bart hissed at Billy, who shot a sharp glare back at Bart.
"Butt out, Bart." Billy replied.
"I never butt out, Billy-boy." Bart sighed softly.
"Young ones.." Citan sighed, standing up. "As you all know, there will be a service held from 6:00-8:00 tonight at the St. Mary funeral home and cemetery in north Cimerion.." He paused, looking at Karina momentarily. "You are by no means, required to go."
"Thank you, Doc." Fei gave Citan a sarcastic glare. "For excusing us from the event of the year.."
Elly gave Fei a sharp glare, hissing something at him that no one else heard. She then straightened up, leaning up against the back of the chair.
Karina looked at Citan momentarily, and then back down at the floor. She whispered slowly, "When did you say it was, Citan?"
Citan smiled at her gently, and then replied, "6:00 to 8:00.."
"Right.." Karina whispered, locking her knees firmly to her chest.
The day moved by slower than most days, mostly because there was hardly any liveliness or insane antics filling the Yggdrasil to pass the time. Fei was immersed in training, so he didn't have much time to do much of anything else. Kajumei, Brad and Ziggy worked on things that had gotten damaged in the attack. Sierra, Sigurd and Jessie spent most of the day trying to help the nurses or the mechanics in any way that they could. Billy spent his time trying to find anything to do, but no one seemed to need his help, so he spent a lot of his day just reading alone in the Gunroom. Karina had disappeared almost half the day, until she returned to reveal that she had gone out to help the effort of finding survivors. What chilled the group the most was that the areas that had been hit, none of the bodies that were found were living. Maria, Chu-Chu and Rico spent the day assisting the effort as well, and Citan continued to try and gather any information he could from the scans of Erich's gear.
::5:15::
"Nervous, Billy?" Bart asked, working his tie. He grunted angrily, trying to get the tie to.. well.. tie.
"Yes.." Billy admitted.
"You're gonna do it?" Bart looked at him.
"What do you mean?" Billy looked at him strangely.
"You know what I mean, Billers.. You're gonna tell her tonight, right?" Bart asked.
"I.. I don't know.." Billy whispered.
"Billy!" Bart sighed, sitting down. "Just do it, already!"
"Why do you care?" Billy hissed.
"I'm your friend, man! I can tell this is killing you!" Bart folded his arms.
"You're my friend, huh?" Billy hissed, walking up to the door.
"Yeah." Bart nodded.
"Then do something for me.." Billy said, turning to Bart.
"What?"
"..Stay out of my life.." He responded, turning away.
Before Billy left, Bart said, "You know.. You can't choose who you fall in love with.. Love sucks, I know.. You just want it to stop sometimes, right? Confusing as hell, right? Well, you need to tell her, Billy. You need to treat this like a condition and face up to it, cause it's not just going to 'go away'. She may be just as scared as you, she may feel the same way, but one of you needs to fess up, or both of you are going to end up miserable."
Billy turned and looked at Bart, shook his head, then left, not wanting to admit to himself that Bart had just given him advice that not only made sense, it was good.
Karina stepped out of the bedroom she shared with Kajumei and Sierra, adjusting the size of a small silver watch she wore around her wrist. She wore a lovely silk skirt, with a dark gray spaghetti strap top and a black sweater to keep her shoulders warm. She had on black pantyhose, and black high heels. Her hair was down, and had a slight wave of curl to it.
"You look nice.." Billy's voice came from behind. Karina spun around, and blushed. Billy looked so much more handsome tonight. His hair was freshly cut, and he wore a black suit with a white dress shirt and a neat black tie. He folded his arms behind his back and smiled gently.
"..Thank you.." Karina smiled weakly, turning away momentarily. "Would you excuse me..?" She said slowly, rushing back into her room, just as Kajumei left the room. Kajumei wore a gray plaid skirt, a black turtleneck, black pantyhose, and practically the same shoes as Karina's.
She gave Billy a smile. "Gonna make a good woman out of her, Black?" She teased, punching his shoulder.
Billy flushed. "Go away.." He murmured. Kajumei shrugged, walking away. Billy made a fist and rubbed his knuckled. They were white, from nervousness, and his skin was cold. He felt his stomach churn again. ~ Don't do it, idiot.. You'll just embarrass yourself. .~ His mind yelled. ~ She's way out of your league anyway, Billy, just stop! ~ His lip trembled. Most of his day was spent either reading, meaningless wandering, and filled with doubtful thoughts. Should he tell her or not? If he never told her, then he may be letting go of one of the best chances of his life. If he did tell her, and she didn't feel the same way, it may completely ruin their pretty stable relationship.
Karina left the room again, now fastening a silver loop earring on. She twisted the ring on her finger around nervously, then looked up at Billy. "Still here?" She asked gently.
"I hate funerals.." Billy whispered, wincing as he said it. He tried to scan her for a reaction, but there was none.
Karina smiled simply at him, then murmured, "Primera's staying here, right?"
"One of the nurse's is going to keep an eye on her." Billy replied. As Karina turned to leave, Billy felt his mind begin screaming opposite things at him. One half screamed 'Tell her! Tell her now!, but the other half screamed 'Don't do it!'. As she continued down the hall, the feuding voices finally got to Billy and he lurched forward slightly. "Karina, wait!" He called as she stopped, turning to look at him.
"Yes, Billy?" She asked as Billy ran to catch up to her. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling his stomach churn more wildly than before, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.
"..I..I.." Billy bit his lip, rubbing his knuckles and fidgeting nervously. "I.. I.. I have.. t-to tell you something.."
Karina looked at him quizzically, cocking her head to one side. "What is it, Billy?" She asked gently, smiling.
"I.. uh.. The thing is.. you see.." Billy mumbled under his breath, trying to look her in the eye instead of stare at her shoes. "I'm.. Uh.. I'm.. Sorry about what happened.." He blurted out, immediately kicking himself inside.
Karina looked at him blankly for a moment, then smiled weakly. "Thanks Billy.." She whispered, continuing down the hall.
Billy sat there for a moment, stunned. He didn't realize what he had said, if he had said anything. Had he just stood there silently, like a moron? Or did he stay something that would make him feel stupider than anything else he could've done. The truth suddenly slapped him in the face, and he snapped back into reality. "No.. no.. Karina! Wait!" He called again, Karina pausing again and looking back at him. Billy's face flushed as he ran up to her, stopping quickly as soon as he reached her.
"What is it, Billy?" Karina repeated, looking up at him patiently.
Billy slowly made eye contact, whispering, "There's something really important.. I-I need to tell you.."
"Anything.." Karina replied.
"Karina.. The thing is.. I.. I.. l-" He began, but was cut off by Bart calling out.
"Hey, you two! It's time to go!" He called, tying his necktie uneasily. He squinted as he got his thumb stuck in the tie, then pulled it out. "Come on!" He said, walking to the elevator.
"Right, Bart.." Karina nodded. She looked at Billy. "Can this.."
"Yeah, sure!" Billy replied before she could finish. "I'll talk to you later! He.. hehe.." Billy laughed nervously, running after Bart. Karina shrugged, following Billy slowly.
"Dreary place, no?" Sierra whispered to Sigurd as the group entered the filled funeral home. There were numerous people filling the room, many absorbed in looking at pictures of lost ones and crying into one another. Pictures submitted by family members were seated on a large polished cherry wood table. After about 20 minutes, Citan and Bart had made their way over to some grieving people, meaning to pay his respects. Billy had stayed only momentarily, then disappeared. Karina was on a balcony with Brad and Kajumei. Rico stood alone in the corner of the room, sending Ziggy out to get him drinks every once in a while. Sierra sat with Sigurd, the two discussing what they were going to do after this blew over. Jessie stood near the drinks, obviously taking his own fair share of alcohol. Maria, Fei, Emeralda, and Elly were scattered about the large funeral home, most likely talking with the grieving, just like Citan and Bart.
Brad pulled off of the balcony that he had been leaning on, patting Karina's back gently. "Cheer up, girly girl." He whispered in her ear, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Karina nodded slowly. Kajumei smiled and pat Karina's back gently.
"We'll be back soon, girl." Kajumei whispered, and Brad and Kajumei reentered the funeral home. Karina let out a long sigh, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. She felt like someone was watching her, and turned around.
There were a few young men behind her, one stepping closer. He smiled slightly, brushing a strand of blonde hair from his eyes. He wore a navy blue suit, had steel gray eyes, and spiked dirty blonde hair. He gave her a small smile, and leaned up against the banister next to her. "Mind if we share this balcony with you?" He asked.
Karina shook her head, turning away. He placed a hand on her shoulder, making her shiver with something she couldn't really detect, maybe fear.
"My name is Ray." He said gently. "Yours?"
Karina looked at him strangely. "..Excuse me, sir.." She whispered, trying to pull away.
"Come on, pretty, tell me your name.." He whispered softly, tightening his grip on his shoulder.
"Please let go.." She whispered, tugging to try and get away. She finally tugged away, and turned to leave. She bumped into a wall of the young men that had entered with Ray. One of the grabbed onto her arms, squeezing her arms.
"He asked you a question, girlie.." One man snickered.
Ray moved up behind Karina. "Aw.. now, names aren't really necessary, are they?" He asked, running a finger along the edge of her sweater. "Especially with what I'm gonna do.."
Karina felt her heart begin to pound like that of a baby rabbit's when it's trapped in a corner by a preying cat. She began to struggle, but to no avail. She soon found herself on the ground, surrounded by dark shapes, and felt someone rip her sweater off. She did the only thing she could think of..
"These poor people.." Citan murmured, stepping up to Jessie, who was obviously getting smashed.
"Yup." Jessie nodded.
Citan sniffed. "Booze, Jessiah?! Honestly, have you no respect?" He snapped.
"It's my way of paying respects, old man.. My way of dealing with depression.." Jessie gave a hiccup, then smiled.
"And your way of dealing with everything else.. You're going to rot of laziness and booze, Jessiah!" He hissed.
"Excuse me.." Brad said, grabbing two glasses of wine from the table. He handed one to Kajumei, who took her glass and twirled the drink around in the glass.
"How is Miss Karina faring?" Citan asked, and Brad gave a sigh.
"I'm not sure, Doc." Brad replied. "I just.. I want her to feel better, you know? But Karina took this really hard.."
"I see.." Citan whispered. "One wishes that she could deal with this as well as Jessiah here.."
"He's just getting drunk.." Brad whispered.
"But I'm happy." Jessie nodded, holding up his glass.
"I just-" Brad began, but a shrill scream filled the air. He spun around, trying to find the source of the scream. "What the?!"
"That came from the balcony where Karina was!" Kajumei cried out, rushing back to the balcony.
At the entrance to the balcony huddled away at the corner of the funeral home, a small crowd of young men stood at the door. Brad pushed past them, knocking a few against the wall. He saw one leaning over something on the ground, grabbing him as well. His eyes widened at what he saw.
Karina, his own baby sister, was laying on the floor, the top of her shirt torn, her skirt ripped in the front. She had lost one of her shoes, and her sweater had been flung and was hanging off the edge of the balcony. Her eyes opened slowly, her chest heaving. She had tears streaming down her face, and more appeared when she saw her older brother looking at her in terror.
"Karina..?" Brad's face immediately changed from horrified to infuriated. He clenched his fists, almost choking Ray. He slammed the young man against the wall, yelling something at him. Karina couldn't hear anything they were saying, she was still too terrified. She stood up rapidly, and her other shoe flipped off. She pushed past Kajumei and anyone else who had crowded around, running for anywhere to hide. All she knew was that something horrible was kept from happening, and her brother was making sure that the man who tried it would never be able to again.
She couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't breathe. She felt her feet slap against the cement, then the grass. She was running blindly. She felt herself run over something arc-shaped and wooden, maybe the Amour Bridge? She thought she heard a voice call her from behind, but she didn't care. She kept running until she felt her collapse onto something cold and hard. She curled into a ball and continued to cry.
Billy had left the reception early, too absorbed in all of his thoughts. He had walked around the cemetery, looking around, and then ended up standing on the Amour Bridge, leaning against one of the wooden railings. He sighed, dropping a rose that he had picked off of one of the rose vines in the cemetery into the water. The creek trickled lightly, pulling the rose downstream.
~You're such a fool..~ He said to himself. He looked up and said aloud, "Why can't I do it, already? I'm sick of feeling like this!" He sighed, remembering what Bart had told him. No matter what Billy told himself, Bart was right. Billy would be damned if he ever saw one more moment that Bart was right, though.
He looked down. He had to do it. The feelings were just going to kill him if he didn't. As soon as the group got home, he was going to pull Karina aside and tell her, no matter how hard it was for him. He was about to turn to go back to the funeral home, when he saw Karina running up to him. He almost smiled and greeted her, until he noticed the state she was in. Her clothes were torn her sweater and shoes were gone as well. She ran past him, crying. He called after her, trying to find out what was wrong, but she did not stop. She had headed for the statue of Mother Sophia, so Billy followed, slowly.
He cautiously peered around the corner, whispering, "Kari..?" She didn't look up at him. She was sitting with her knees bunched up to her chest, her head bent down so her face was buried in her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. He could hear her crying softly. Billy walked up next to her slowly, sitting down. "Karina..?"
She said, in a muffled, weak voice, "..Billy..?" She looked up, then turned away. "Please leave.." She whispered.
"Karina.. What's wrong..? What happened?" Billy whispered, reaching out for her shoulders. Karina was shaking, her skin was cold, and it made his head turn to lead. Whatever had happened was bad, very bad. He felt himself urgently grabbing for her arms, pulling her close. He actions shocked him, but for some reason he didn't pull away.
"..Billy.." She breathed into him, her hands groping for his. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "..Someone.. he tried to.. he tried to.. I was so scared, Billy.." She bit her lip, and her voice broke. She didn't need to say anything more, the message was already clear.
Billy felt his entire body fill with anger. How dare anyone try to hurt her.. How dare they try and do anything to make her be in more pain than she was already in. He felt Karina shiver in his arms, and knew immediately that the younger girl was cold. Well, with torn clothes and no sweater, she would have to have been pretty cold. Billy pulled away momentarily and removed his dress jacket. He laid the heavy jacket on her shoulders.
Karina's face flushed as the warmth of Billy's jacket covered her. For some reason, she felt safer now, surrounded by that warmth. She could smell lightly the scent of Billy's cologne. She looked up at him.
"You're safe now, Karina.." Billy whispered, taking her in his arms again. He tried to imagine how hard this must be for her, what with all of these things happening to her all at once.
Karina shivered in his arms, as if more of the cold was inside of her rather than outside. She breathed in slowly, burying her face in Billy's chest. "I hate this, Billy.." She whispered.
"I do too, Kari.." He whispered.
"..Not just this, Billy.. The fact that.." Karina looked away, biting her lip. "All of my world has to fall apart, and now this has to happen.. again.."
Billy felt his heart sink, his hands turn cold when she said that. "..A-Again..? Karina.. what do you.. what do you mean?"
Karina shivered again in his arms. "..Do.. Do you remember how I didn't want to talk about the slum district of Cimerion?"
"..Yes.."
"..When I was.. Fourteen.. Brad and I were coming home from swimming at Kajumei's house before we got our own pool. We had gone shopping, and were in east Cimerion at the time. We decided to take a shortcut through the slums.. and we got separated in the crowds.." Karina took a deep breath before continuing, "I was alone, and I was trying to look for Brad, when someone attacked me.. He was stronger and much bigger than I was, and even though I tried to struggle to get away, no matter how hard a struggled, he kept going. He was so close to.. to.." Karina bit her lip. She felt Billy's grip on her tighten, a sign that he was there for her, and wouldn't hurt her in any way. "..But.. But.. Brad was suddenly there.. He saved Me.. from that man.. That's why Brad is so overprotective now.. Because he didn't want that to ever happen to me again.."
Billy's stomach churned, and he felt himself instinctively hold onto her even tighter than before. He didn't want anyone else to hurt her, and he wouldn't allow it. The shock of what she had told him was still sinking in.
"..Brad and I never told anyone about it.. So it's my big secret, I suppose.." Karina whispered. Billy noted that she had stopped crying, maybe a sign that she was starting to settle down.
Billy faltered as Karina turned her starlit gaze toward him. Though her eyes brimmed with tears, her face streaked, she was still the most stunning sight he had ever seen in his life. He took a few moments as the two sat in silence, just looking at each other, to drink in her beauty. First, almost his favorite, were her eyes. Deep, dark pools of midnight blue and indigo, flecked with silver that made her eyes look like the midnight sky, and shrouded by thick, dark lashes, soft as a butterfly kiss. He noted the delicate curve of her neck, her delicate jaw line, and the way her lilac hair fell in pools around her shoulders. Most of all, though he felt rather guilty about it, he noted her soft, flower petal lips, which he had yearned to touch since the moment he met her.
Karina gave him an uncertain look, resting her forehead on his shoulder. Billy smiled gently, resting a hand on the back of her head and drawing her close in a tight embrace. Karina made a weak mewling sound before finally settling down into his lock.
"..Billy.." She said, barely audible.
"..Yes?"
Karina pulled away slightly, still in Billy's hug, and looked into his eyes. "Will you keep my secret?"
Billy gave her a weak nod.
She looked away, as if to hide something, and then drew closer, leaning her head now against his chest, sighing at the sound of his heartbeat.
A lump grew in Billy's throat as he hugged onto her more tightly than before. He bit his bottom lip, as if he was uncertain of what to say, if anything He knew what it was that he needed to say, more than anything in the world. Stroking her hair gently, he whispered, "M-miss Karina?"
She responded with a gentle, "Hmm?"
He swallowed his fear, but the uncertainty of wondering whether or not he should tell her now, while she was in such a vulnerable state, ate him alive. His voice, weak and hoarse, added, "I-I've been meaning to.. To tell you something.. F-for a very long time now.."
Karina looked up, giving him a questioning look. "That's right.. you did want to tell me something.. didn't you?" Billy smiled tenderly, reaching up and wiping the tears away from her cheeks. He looked down, a blush creeping up his face.
"Yes.. It's just that.. S-since the moment I laid eyes on you.. I-I knew there was something different about you.. Something t-that made you different from anyone else I have ever met.. S-something that I, without even knowing it, have wanted for the longest time."
(Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question)
He looked into her eyes, filled with uncertainty and sadness. "Y-you love everything, Karina.. You never wish death on anything, or harm to come to anyone.. A-And I now know th-that that's what I've wanted this whole time."
"..Billy..?" She blinked, looking at him questioningly.
"All of my life.. I've just wanted to love someone more than anything, and have that person love me in return.."
(Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend)
Before Billy could begin again, Karina hushed him by placing the tip of her finger to his lips. She looked into his eyes, probing, trying to find something that maybe she hadn't seen before. Billy felt his face warm as her dazzling eyes looked deeply into his own. A gentle smile appeared momentarily as Karina pulled away, removing her finger from his lips.
(And I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe)
In a hushed, weak voice, Billy continued. "..I-I know it sounds silly, but.. But I think I've found that person in you, Karina.. I.. I.." His voice faltered, but Karina wrapped her fingers around his own and squeezed reassuringly. Feeling his throat tighten, his heart pound, his stomach churn, his skin turn cold and his fingers tingle from nervousness, he took one final breath before whispering, drawing her hands close to his chest, "Karina.. I.. I love you.."
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life)
He then took her hand and set it lightly on his chest, over his heart. He held her hand there, knowing that she must feel the thundering of his heart, and continued, "And.. With every fiber of my being.." he paused as he felt his voice grow weak, "I will be there.. To love and protect you.."
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
Karina smiled, tears brimming in her eyes. "Oh.. Oh, Billy.." He voice was weak, and barely whispering. She tightened her hand around his shirt, then placed her other hand next to it. Karina snuggled into his embrace, pulling herself to be able to rest her head on his shoulder.
(There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion)
She looked deeply into his eyes before responding, "..I've been wanting to tell you that myself for so long.." She smiled, shutting her eyes halfway.
"..W-What..?" Billy felt his face flush, his arms turn weak.
"The thing is.." Karina looked down, her dark lashes hiding her gorgeous eyes. "I've been too scared to tell you the truth.." She looked back up at him, her cheeks blushing, her eyes alight with happiness, but still wet with tears.
"..Karina..?"
(And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home)
"Ever since that first time we talked.. I knew you were special, Billy.." She whispered, tightening her grip on his fingers. "And I knew I cared about you.. But.. but I didn't think my feelings would go this far.. and it scared me for such a long time.." She murmured, looking back up into his eyes. "I.. I.."
Billy's eyes widened at what she said next..
(I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe)
She said, barely in a whisper, "..I love you too, Billy.."
Billy felt his heart his heart flutter, his body warm as she said those words. Who knew those three words would make him feel this way? Three simple words..
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life)
Billy smiled, relieved that he had finally gotten what he had wanted to get off of his chest done with, and even more so that his feelings were being returned. "Oh.. Karina.." Was all he could say. Karina looked up at him. The two could only smile at each other, their hearts pounding against one another.
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
He wasn't sure, but Billy thought he heard the sound of someone approaching behind them. He didn't care, anyway. He didn't care if this were a dream, either. If it were, it was the most wonderful dream he had had his whole life. He felt like all of the heartache he had had to go through his whole life was finally repaid. Somewhere in his heart, he believed that Karina was a gift from God, just for him, something for him to love and treasure forever.
He pulled Karina away from his chest, just to look deeply into her eyes. He saw, under all of the starlight of her eyes, a hidden passion that he had never really seen before. He smiled, looking at the perfect angel in his arms. He pulled her close, resting his cheek on her head. He breathed in the smell of Karina's hair and skin, which resembled roses and vanilla. So, this was utter perfection?
(A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you)
Karina looked into his eyes when he had pulled them apart to look into hers. They were gentle, soft, and blue. They were the color of icicles, light and cold. He was handsome, very handsome, with a smile that always melted her heart. Jessie had told her once that it was the same smile as his mother's. She knew, that even through all of the hardships, Billy had been there for her, no matter what. He was always there, which was one of the many reasons why she loved him with all her heart. She knew her brother would call it puppy love, but she didn't care. She would do anything to be with Billy. The young man pulled her back into his embrace, and rested his cheek on the top of her head. She smiled into his chest, breathing in the smell of his skin. She felt like a princess, even though she knew it was a silly thing to feel.
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life)
"No matter what happens to us.. Will you stay with me, Billy..?" Karina whispered weakly.
"..Of course.." Billy replied, lowering his head so that he could plant a soft kiss on the tip of Karina's ear. He could feel her shiver in his arms, and felt himself blushed, surprised at himself for being so forward. "Will you stay with me?"
"..Forever.." Karina nodded, burying her face even more deeply into Billy's chest. She breathed in again, sighing out, "Billy.."
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
Slowly, unsure of what she was doing, she leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on his lips. Billy's eyes widened, when at last he became sure of her silent request to him, then wrapped his arms around her.
So, wrapped in each other's arms, bathed in moonlight, the two lover's poured all of their burning emotions into one kiss, one that seemed to both of them, even though neither really cared, to last forever. Billy felt complete for the first time in his entire life, Karina felt safe and secure, and most of all, both felt like they were loved. They felt like they loved each other more than two people had ever loved each other before. Even though it would seem somewhat cheap to some people, that they felt this was true, and the only thing either could truly rely on.
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
This chapter contains the song 'I Knew I Loved You' by Savage Garden. Yeah, yeah, you know the gist of it all, I don't own it, and good old Savage Garden does. Well, what used to be Savage Garden, anyway. OK, let's get fluffy!
Karina walked out of her bedroom the next day, or rather very early the next morning, her eyes looking like they could tear up any second, her mouth in a small straight line. She was wearing her white and blue pajamas, and a dark blue embroidered robe. She cupped her hands and sighed. Karina tilted her head to the side and shut her eyes, taking in a deep breath before knocking lightly on Billy's door.
A few moments passed and she almost turned back to return to her room when the door opened slowly. Billy stepped out, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. His hair was tousled, and he ran one hand through it as if to get some of it out of his eyes. He blinked. "Karina?"
"Good morning, Billy.." Karina whispered and bit her bottom lip.
"Good morning, Karina. I thought you got up after 2:00." He whispered and blinked.
"I couldn't sleep." She replied and stepped forward. "Could I come in?"
Billy shrugged and looked back in his room. "I don't see why not. It's not like I'm gonna get any sleep after this."
"Thank you.." She murmured and stepped in as Billy stepped to the side. Billy shut the door slowly behind him and flipped on the light. "Aren't Fei and Bart going to get mad at you for doing that?"
"Eh." Billy shrugged.
Karina smiled briefly, but almost immediately went back to her sullen expression.
Billy flopped onto his bed and gently pat the other side of the twin bed. "Have a seat."
Karina nodded slowly and sat down.
"What can I do for you?" He said, smiling sleepily.
Karina whispered, over the din of Bart and Fei snoring, "Are people going to.. Blame me? For all that happened to Cimerion?"
Billy sat up quickly, resting back on the palms of his hands. "Of course not.. I mean.. There's no way they'd ever find out that's what those gears were after.."
"But.. But what if they do?" Karina murmured.
"It still wasn't your fault, Karina.." Billy said quickly, almost before she had even finished speaking.
"But it was! They came for me! If I weren't here then this wouldn't have happened at all!" Karina hissed sharply, trying to keep from making her voice loud enough for Bart or Fei to wake up.
"Karina!" Billy hissed, grabbing her wrists. Surprised at himself for taking force on her, Billy released Karina, then continued. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself.."
"..Billy.." Karina's lip trembled. "I'm just so.. so scared that more people will.." She faltered, then fell into Billy's arms. "Why did he have to do that, Billy?!" She cried, clenching his shirt.
Billy made a gentle shushing sound, running his fingers through her hair slowly and rubbing her back gently to try and comfort her. He sighed as Karina rested her head on his shoulder. "Karina.. Zeke loved you.. He wanted to protect you.. With everything."
Karina sobbed into Billy's shoulder, but he didn't care. He just wanted her to know that he was, undoubtedly, there for her when she needed him. He knew that much of their relationship was based on a strong friendship, and he wanted to show her how strongly he took their friendship.
"Kari.. Please.." Billy murmured, leaning back against the headboard so that Karina was half-laying, half-sitting up. "Stop hurting yourself over this.."
He remembered how hard it had been on them the night before. No one had an appetite, so there was practically no dinner. Everyone was mourning over the emptiness of the ship as well as the emptiness of their hearts. Karina had cried to sleep, with Kajumei, Brad, and himself by her side the whole time. Actually, after a while, Kajumei and Brad found it too hard to stay with Karina while she was in so much pain, and left her alone with him. Karina had begged him to stay there with her, clutching onto his hand. She had never asked hardly anything of him, and the request was hardly anything, so Billy had sat down in a chair next to the bed and talked to her quietly while she tried to calm down.
Karina leaned against his shoulder, feeling suddenly heavy. Billy just held on tighter, knowing that now, more than ever, she needed his support and whatever strength he could give to her. Tonight there was to be a reception for the lives lost the day before. The city had been combed through all the rest of that evening, and there were hardly any survivors, other than the many that had made it to the bomb shelter. The search would continue as long as it had to, to try and find as many survivors as possible.
Even if Karina hadn't loved Zeke the way Zeke had loved her, Billy could tell that her heart was breaking over his death. She had spoken often to him about how nice Zeke had always been, and how good a friend he was. Billy felt his heart wrench as he realized that he had never really given Zeke a chance to be friends with him. Zeke had been friendly from the beginning, but Billy had never treated him as a friend because of the competition of love interests.
Billy felt Karina grow even heavier, and paused, stroking her hair for a moment. He looked at her and realized that she had fallen asleep in his arms. She still didn't look at peace, even in her sleep. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyelids were puffy from crying, her cheeks were flushed, and her lips drooped in a sad frown. He felt his heart fill with pity while he looked at her. Trying not to disturb her, he laid her gently on the mattress, covering her with the sheets. He ran his fingers along the edge of her cheekbone, and brushed the strands of hair from her face.
He stood up and walked to the door, opening it slowly before shutting the light off. He shuffled in the dark to Jessie's room, opening the door and walking in. He went up to Jessie's bed and poked his shoulder. Jessie gave a sound that was something of a snort, then turned over, pulling his covers over his head. Billy squinted, then poked Jessie's shoulder harder.
"Dad.. wake up!" Billy hissed. "Dad!" He repeated as Jessie stirred. Jessie sat up, blinking sleepily. Like his son always did, he ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his eyes. He looked up at Billy, still half-asleep.
"Uh.. Boy.. what're you.. doin'?" Jessie mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"I need to sleep here.." Billy whispered. "My bed.."
Jessie's eyes bulged. "What did you DO, boy? I mean, I thought you were like.. TRAINED not to.."
"Dad!" Billy blushed. "I didn't.. Nevermind, just scoot over!"
"Hell no, you ain't sleepin' in my sanctuary!" Jessie snapped.
"Dad, come on.." Billy hissed, grabbing the covers.
"Why do you even NEED to sleep here, boy?" Jessie growled.
Billy looked to the side, then murmured, "Karina's there. She was upset and I was comforting her and.. she fell asleep, OK? I couldn't just throw her on the floor."
Jessie thought about it a moment, working his tongue as if he wanted to say something, but chose not to. "So, why don't you sleep in her bed?"
"That wouldn't be right! Sh-she sleeps with all of the other girls and if they woke up and found me there they might kill me!"
"Why would they kill you?" Jessie mumbled.
"Because! You know girls.. They get all squealy if a guy is in their room and get all violent.." Billy looked to the side.
"Go sleep in Prim's room." Jessie muttered.
"I'm not sleeping in Primera's room!" Billy snapped. "Now move over!"
"Agh, fine, but if you try to steal my covers, you'll be going the right way for a smacked bottom!" Jessie hissed, scooting over.
Billy just murmured something that was most likely sarcastic and curled up in the space of the bed that Jessie had allotted him. He winced as Jessie rapidly dozed off, into a din of snoring and turning over. Billy just clamped his eyes shut and tried to get Karina's pain out of his head.
Morning came more rapidly than Billy had wanted, and soon he found Jessie nudging him to wake up. Billy gave a reluctant groan, and felt Jessie sit up. He tried to get in a few more moments of shut-eye, but his father had made sure that that wasn't going to happen. Jessie gave a heave, making Billy roll off the bed and hit the hard, chilly floor.
Billy shook his head and sat up, resting back on his palms. He looked up at Jessie through one eye; the other still shut from sleepiness. He yawned and rubbed his eyes sleepily as Jessie stood and walked into the bathroom. Before his father shut the door, Jessie leaned back and gave Billy a broad grin.
"Morning, boy!" He shouted, then went into the bathroom. Billy muttered some curse word after his father, then stood up, feeling his bones popping as he stretched. He then shuffled out of his father's room and back into the one he shared with Bart and Fei. Fei and Bart's beds were empty, giving a signal that the two were already awake.
Billy shuffled over to his bed, plopping down on an unoccupied portion of the mattress. He ran his hand along the portion of covered body that was most likely Karina's head, then made a move to pull back the covers. What happened next he did not expect.
"G'MORNIN' BILLY!" Came a shout, and the covers exploded up, flying off the bed. Billy gave a startled scream, falling back. His frightened, surprised expression quickly became that of anger when he saw the crown prince of Aveh sitting on his shins in his bed, where Karina was supposed to be.
"Bart! What the hell are you doing?!" Billy snapped, jumping to his feet. He clenched his fists, then placed them on his hips.
Bart gave him a puppy dog look, then stood up. "Just trying to give you a happy good morning greeting, is all, Billy-boy."
Billy rolled his eyes. "What about Karina? Where is she?" Billy asked, pointing at the bed.
"What do you mean?" Bart blinked, stepping back. "Karina isn't in here, man."
"But.. But she was right here!" Billy cried, pointing at the bed. His face immediately flushed, and he slowly looked up at Bart, who was wearing a coy smirk.
"What do you MEAN, Billy?"
"Ah!" Billy cried out, jumping back and holding up his hands in surprise. "I-I don't mean it THAT way! I just mean.. I mean.. uh.." Billy looked up at Bart, who was looking back with an unbelieving expression. "I didn't sleep with her or anything!"
"Didn't sleep with who?" Fei asked, shuffling in. He was already dressed, and was squeezing water out of his hair with a towel.
"Billy says that Karina was in his bed. Sleeping." Bart murmured slowly.
"Not in that way, though!" Billy shouted before Bart could even finish his sentence. Fei looked from Billy, to Bart, then back to Billy. He just shrugged, walking up to his bed. He sat down and pulled a shoe on.
"So, she was in your bed?" Fei asked, looking at Billy. "Why?"
Billy sighed, then glared at Bart sideways. "She came in earlier, and she was really upset.."
"So you got in her pants?! Man, you were quiet.." Bart whispered.
"No!" Billy flushed. "I tried to comfort her.. And she fell asleep, and rather than disturb her, I just let her sleep here and I slept in my dad's room."
Fei shrugged. "Well, she wasn't here when I got up before Bart."
"She was probably still upset about yesterday, so she went somewhere to think." Bart shrugged.
"Why hasn't any of this affected YOUR jolly ways, Bart?" Billy squinted at Bart, folding his arms.
Bart flinched. "It has, Black. I just try to make other people feel better, is all. I don't like people thinking about things that are just going to upset them. Frowning takes 5 minutes off your life each time you do it."
"Bart.. That's smoking." Fei hissed.
Bart turned to Fei, giving him a rather angry glare. "I knew that, Fong Wong! I was TRYING to exaggerate to prove a point!"
"Some point." Fei muttered under his breath, pulling on the second shoe.
"..I'm going to go find Karina.." Billy whispered, stepping towards the doorway.
"In your PJ's?" Bart asked, giving Billy a sarcastic smirk.
"Yes, in my PJ's.." Billy hissed. He left the room and walked down the hallway, trying to think up places where Karina might be, let alone what he was going to say to her when he found her. He knew what he needed to say, but wasn't sure if he could even do it.
He first looked in the Gunroom, thinking that she most likely wouldn't be there, but it was worth a try. Just as he had suspected, she wasn't there. He continued on to the Gear Dock, with no sight of her there, either. Next came the medical bay, which was filled with wounded mechanics and workers. No sign of her. He continued to look all about the lower level of the Yggdrasil, with no luck, and then moved onto the upper level. After finding no sign of her in the Bridge, he moved to climb up the ladder that led out of the hatch to the top of the ship. As he clambered up to the steel top of the ship, a stiff, early morning breeze hit him, sending the smell of burning and smoke and, though he didn't know what it was so he thought of it as a single thing, death. He shut his eyes, trying to separate all of the saddening smells of the day before from the calming scent of the briny ocean. He felt his loose pajamas flutter in the wind, then opened his eyes, shivering.
Near the very nose of the ship, sitting with her knees bunched up against her chest, her hair fluttering in the wind was Karina. Giving a sigh of relief, Billy walked slowly towards her, trying not to disturb her from whatever thoughts that she was sorting out. He sat down next to her, folding his legs up to his chest in the same fashion as Karina. She looked at him silently, her face ghost-pale, her eyes a cold deep bluish-purple, her cheeks flushed and streaked with new tears. Billy looked back at her, with the same understanding silence, and reached out slowly to pull her next to him so she could rest her head on his shoulder.
After a few moments, Billy asked, "Want to talk?"
Karina didn't answer, but gently shook her head as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. Billy placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly.
"Alright, then. We'll just sit here.. and think." Billy smiled softly, moving his hand to stroke a few strands of light feather soft hair.
Karina sucked in a raspy breath as another gust of morning wind brought the smell of smoke resting in the air before whispering, "Thank you, Billy.."
Brad stood alone in a darkened room, staring outward, or perhaps inward, at a spiraling helix of light, or maybe deepening darkness. He was cold, not on the outside, but on the in, or maybe he was cold outside and not in. He heard a soft whisper coming from the spiraling, contracting, ever changing helix. Or maybe the voice was coming from inside himself.
~It's your entire fault..~ It said to him, the helix's hue dimming.
"..What is?" Brad murmured, stepping back.
~All of this.. You know of what I speak.~
"I don't.." Brad whispered.
~Your sister..~ The helix flashed, ~Is realizing her final fate deep in her heart, even if her conscious state has not yet been informed.. Yet you are denying.. Your fate..~
"What are you talking about?!" Brad demanded, trying to step closer to the helix, but every time he tried, it moved away.
~Do you not remember the pain you felt the moment the fires of manmade machinery's betrayal attacked your own eyes?~ The helix flashed once again.
Brad fell back as a searing pain filled his face, a pain not unlike that of the one that he had felt the day before when a rod had burst during the overheating of the cannon, sending sparks and steam into his face. The pain quickly cooled, and soon was only a memory. "W-What.."
~No normal human could have healed in the way that you did. Not a scar on your pale face. Have you ever truly looked at yourself, Child of the Soul? Your eyes are an impossible blue, with sparks of starlight swirling in the deep midnight. Your entire being is flawless, yet you try and hide it with your clothing, with the way you carry yourself. You are trying to look like a normal human which in your heart you know you are not.~
Brad fell back. "No, I'm not different. I am a normal human, just like my sister is.."
~You know that that is a lie..~
"But.. but Karina.. She and I are normal human beings!"
~You tell yourself that, Child of the Soul..~ The spiraling shape pulsated once more.
Brad tightened his lip, trying to think of something to say. "Why do you say this?"
~..Look inside your heart, Beruvine.. Look deep, deeper than ever you could imagine. In the deep well of the soul you shall find your answers..~
"..Beruvine?" Brad asked, and then felt the air around him grow colder. A wind picked up, swirling about him in a spiral of freezing air. Brad felt his eyes roll back in his head, saw no more, and felt no more. He fell back in the spiraling freeze, and all went dark..
"Dude.. dude.. DUDE!" Ziggy hissed, poking Brad, who was still asleep.
Brad shook Ziggy off, mumbling about something under his breath. He sat up rapidly, shaking his head. He groaned, and then gripped his forehead. Ziggy stood up, placing his hands to his hips.
"Mon, what the heck is up with you?" Ziggy asked, giving Brad a look like Brad was crazy.
Brad looked at Ziggy sideways, shutting one eye the block out the glare of the sun. "What do you mean, Zig?"
"You were like.. Yelling in your sleep! Woke poor little Zig-man from his beauty sleep, ya know!" Ziggy folded his arms, falling back on his bed.
"Planning on hibernating for the winter, eh, Zig?" Brad asked, standing up slowly.
"..No.. Wait.. What?" Ziggy blinked.
"Never mind, Zig." Brad shook his head, heading slowly for the bathroom.
"Hey, Mon. You're shaking." Ziggy commented, standing up.
"No, I ain't.." Brad hissed quickly before shutting the door behind him.
Ziggy looked at the door confusedly for a few moments, and then shrugged, turning back to his bed. He flopped down and pulled the sheets over his head. "And now back to my dreams.. heh heh.." He rolled onto his side, muttering, "No, Karina.. that outfit isn't too skimpy.." He then drifted off into soft chuckles.
"Another day, another problem.." Sigurd whispered, brushing a fallen object off of the main command console. He sighed, and then leaned forward, resting his forehead in his hands.
"It's not all that bad, Sigurd." Sierra commented, walking up next to him. She quickly tensed and looked around. "Hyuga's not hovering behind me with a gun, is he?"
Sigurd gave a soft laugh, looking up at Sierra. "Era.. Stop trying to make me feel better.."
Sierra shook her head. "Hell, I don't give a damn if YOU feel good, I'm just worried about Hyuga keeping his tight-wad-meanie-pants threat about killing me if I ever returned.."
"Honestly, Era, how long have you known Hyuga? Has he ever carried out his threats to kill people? Ever?" Sigurd asked, turning to face Sierra.
"..Hmm.. Well, there was that one time he almost strangled Jessiah when he broke his glasses." Sierra looked up, as if trying to think of certain incidents.
"That was insanely hilarious." Sigurd said gently, standing up straight. He looked up at a clock, blinking. "When did we wake up?"
"With the sun, my dear friend." Sierra nodded, yawning.
"I'd like to see the young master wake up early to repair the ship just once in my career." Sigurd said, with a somewhat bitter sound to his voice.
"I think Bart is useless unless he gets at least eight hours of sleep." Sierra commented. She turned her head to look at Sigurd. "Karina told me something.."
"Really?" Sigurd asked, bending over to tinker with a few controls on the main console. "What did she say?"
"..She told me.." Sierra paused, hopping off of the railing she had been perched on. "That you missed me.."
Sigurd's eye widened slightly, and Sierra noted just a faint blush appearing on his amber cheeks. He looked up at her, brushing a few strands of silver hair from his eye. "..What?"
Sierra gave him a rather annoyed look, turning away from him. "Well, did you or didn't you? I need to know so I can either hug Karina or choke her to death."
Sigurd gave a soft chuckle, standing up. "If you're asking me if I missed you boisterous, un-feminine, rude, and total lack of regal upbringing, then.."
Sierra began laughing, stepping forward. "I get it, I get it. It was nice without me here, wasn't it?"
Sigurd smiled back, taking her hands in his. "It wasn't nearly as fun, Era." He said gently.
"..Really, Sig?" Sierra smiled slightly. "Wandering from Cimerion bar to Cimerion bar isn't too fun, either."
"So, you stayed in Cimerion this entire time?" Sigurd asked gently.
"Yep. I was hoping you guys would usurp power from Hyuga and come rescue the only person that has ever been on this ship with an actual personality.."
"The only one? I believe that Ziggy is a rather colorful character.. And.. We won't get into Jessiah." Sigurd sighed, running his fingers along one of the railings.
"Ew.. Jessiah. Hyuga's gotten really boring. He's all.. old." Sierra commented. "Like you, Sigurd."
"I'm not old. I've told you before, I'm not old." Sigurd retorted, folding his arms.
"You act like you're sixty!" Sierra laughed, hopping back onto the railing she had previously been perched on.
"I do not." Sigurd sighed, looking away.
"Oh, yeah, right." Sierra rolled her eyes.
Sigurd laid a hand on her shoulder. "Let's go have some breakfast, Era. We've been working for a long time and I think we've earned ourselves a little break."
Sierra gave him a strange look, then threw an arm over his shoulders, nodding. "I agree, Sig! Let's have us some pancakes, my brother!"
Sigurd chuckled again, putting an arm shyly around her waist. Sierra grinned up at him, and then nodded at the door.
"We're off to see the breakfast table, the wonderful breakfast table of.. The Yggdrasil!" She whooped, practically pulling Sigurd out of the bridge.
"Good morning, young ones." Citan murmured as he stepped in, looking at the rather morose group. Everyone was already up, but he didn't see Karina or Billy. He had seen the eldest Black son walking around earlier, but he was not currently present.
"What's up, Doc?" Fei smiled slightly, holding out his hand for a high five.
Citan looked at Fei's hand strangely for a moment, and then asked. "What do you want me to do, young one?"
"Hyuga, how old are you?" Jessie asked, placing his feet up on the coffee table. Sigurd leaned over and smacked his muddy boots with a magazine, giving Jessie a rather disapproving look. Jessie looked back at Sigurd. "What?"
Brad tapped his foot impatiently on the leg of the chair next to him. He stood up rapidly, almost knocking Ziggy out of the chair next to Brad. "Where is she?!"
"Who, you macadamia nut?" Kajumei looked up at him sarcastically.
"You know who, you little germ!" Brad snapped.
"Is this some sick form of foreplay?" Bart leaned next to Jessie and whispered.
"I dunno. I think the boy is pulling foreplay on his wife, though." Jessie shrugged, setting down his coffee.
"What?!" Brad's gaze shot to Jessie.
"She's not my wife, dad." Billy's voice came from behind Brad. Billy walked out from behind him, sitting down next to Primera on the sofa. "How many times do I have to tell you?"
Brad growled under his breath, and then took a seat, folding his arms.
"Honestly, boogie-boo, why did you act like a deranged psychiatric ward patient whenever Karina is out of the room or with a person who happens to have the reproductive organs that of a male?" Kajumei asked, snatching Brad's coffee and taking a sip of it.
"Boogie-boo?" Fei squinted, and looked at Bart. "Dude.. she called him boogie-boo."
"I saw it, man." Bart nodded, looking at Jessie. "What about you, Funky Fresh?"
"Yep. I saw it with my own two eyes." Jessie nodded.
"Since when did people see sounds?" Billy squinted at Jessie.
"You take every chance you get to insult me, don't you, boy?" Jessie squinted back at Billy.
"You insult yourself, father." Billy replied, putting extra emphasis on 'father'.
"So, did you find your woman, Billers?" Bart asked, folding his hands and placing them on his lap.
"What?!" Brad snapped, almost jumping up again.
"She's not my woman, Bart." Billy hissed. "And yes, I did find her. Right now, she's in the shower."
"You didn't find her in the shower, did you, Mon?" Ziggy leaned forward. "I'll bet she's hot in the shower.. All wet and lathery and.."
Rico picked up his coffee mug and smashed it over Ziggy's head, making coffee spill all over. Sigurd sighed, shaking his head.
"Another one of my good coffee mugs bites the dust." Sigurd whispered.
"It's death did not go without cause." Rico responded.
Bart placed his hand over his mouth to make a sort of trumpet, and began making a trumpet-esque sound, playing Taps.
"Bart, you freak." Maria squinted at Bart.
"I know." Bart replied, stopping his dirge for the fallen coffee mug.
"I don't think now is the appropriate time to be joking about death, young prince." Citan warned. Bart rolled his eye, turning his head to Citan.
"So, you propose that we all just not have lives because of this?" Bart asked.
"No, I just propose that you pay respects for those lost." Citan answered.
"I am in my own way, man!" Bart slumped in his seat, folding his arms to his chest. He looked at the door as Karina shuffled in. She had her hair tied up in two loose buns, and wore very casual clothes. She looked drained, and weak, not her normal cheerful way.
She sat cross-legged on the floor next to Kajumei, who leaned over and rested her head on Karina's shoulder. "How's my girl feeling this morning?" Kajumei asked, playing with one of the buns.
Karina shrugged, looking down. She hadn't uttered a word all morning, even the entire time she had spent with Billy on the top of the Yggdrasil.
Ziggy sat up quickly, coffee flying off of his head. "Ow, Mon, feels like I got hit by a rock!" He hissed. Rico's eyes widened.
"He's not staying knocked out long enough anymore.." Rico hissed, grabbing another coffee mug. Before he could complete his task, Sigurd grabbed the coffee mug.
"Not another death, Rico. My heart can't take it." Sigurd sighed, setting the mug gently next to him.
Karina looked upward, sighing gently. Primera hopped off of the sofa, toddling up next to Karina. She sat down, cross-legged as well, and looked up at her 'big sister'. Karina looked back down at Primera, smiling gently. She put an arm around the younger girl and gave her a gentle hug.
"Jealous, Billers?" Bart hissed at Billy, who shot a sharp glare back at Bart.
"Butt out, Bart." Billy replied.
"I never butt out, Billy-boy." Bart sighed softly.
"Young ones.." Citan sighed, standing up. "As you all know, there will be a service held from 6:00-8:00 tonight at the St. Mary funeral home and cemetery in north Cimerion.." He paused, looking at Karina momentarily. "You are by no means, required to go."
"Thank you, Doc." Fei gave Citan a sarcastic glare. "For excusing us from the event of the year.."
Elly gave Fei a sharp glare, hissing something at him that no one else heard. She then straightened up, leaning up against the back of the chair.
Karina looked at Citan momentarily, and then back down at the floor. She whispered slowly, "When did you say it was, Citan?"
Citan smiled at her gently, and then replied, "6:00 to 8:00.."
"Right.." Karina whispered, locking her knees firmly to her chest.
The day moved by slower than most days, mostly because there was hardly any liveliness or insane antics filling the Yggdrasil to pass the time. Fei was immersed in training, so he didn't have much time to do much of anything else. Kajumei, Brad and Ziggy worked on things that had gotten damaged in the attack. Sierra, Sigurd and Jessie spent most of the day trying to help the nurses or the mechanics in any way that they could. Billy spent his time trying to find anything to do, but no one seemed to need his help, so he spent a lot of his day just reading alone in the Gunroom. Karina had disappeared almost half the day, until she returned to reveal that she had gone out to help the effort of finding survivors. What chilled the group the most was that the areas that had been hit, none of the bodies that were found were living. Maria, Chu-Chu and Rico spent the day assisting the effort as well, and Citan continued to try and gather any information he could from the scans of Erich's gear.
::5:15::
"Nervous, Billy?" Bart asked, working his tie. He grunted angrily, trying to get the tie to.. well.. tie.
"Yes.." Billy admitted.
"You're gonna do it?" Bart looked at him.
"What do you mean?" Billy looked at him strangely.
"You know what I mean, Billers.. You're gonna tell her tonight, right?" Bart asked.
"I.. I don't know.." Billy whispered.
"Billy!" Bart sighed, sitting down. "Just do it, already!"
"Why do you care?" Billy hissed.
"I'm your friend, man! I can tell this is killing you!" Bart folded his arms.
"You're my friend, huh?" Billy hissed, walking up to the door.
"Yeah." Bart nodded.
"Then do something for me.." Billy said, turning to Bart.
"What?"
"..Stay out of my life.." He responded, turning away.
Before Billy left, Bart said, "You know.. You can't choose who you fall in love with.. Love sucks, I know.. You just want it to stop sometimes, right? Confusing as hell, right? Well, you need to tell her, Billy. You need to treat this like a condition and face up to it, cause it's not just going to 'go away'. She may be just as scared as you, she may feel the same way, but one of you needs to fess up, or both of you are going to end up miserable."
Billy turned and looked at Bart, shook his head, then left, not wanting to admit to himself that Bart had just given him advice that not only made sense, it was good.
Karina stepped out of the bedroom she shared with Kajumei and Sierra, adjusting the size of a small silver watch she wore around her wrist. She wore a lovely silk skirt, with a dark gray spaghetti strap top and a black sweater to keep her shoulders warm. She had on black pantyhose, and black high heels. Her hair was down, and had a slight wave of curl to it.
"You look nice.." Billy's voice came from behind. Karina spun around, and blushed. Billy looked so much more handsome tonight. His hair was freshly cut, and he wore a black suit with a white dress shirt and a neat black tie. He folded his arms behind his back and smiled gently.
"..Thank you.." Karina smiled weakly, turning away momentarily. "Would you excuse me..?" She said slowly, rushing back into her room, just as Kajumei left the room. Kajumei wore a gray plaid skirt, a black turtleneck, black pantyhose, and practically the same shoes as Karina's.
She gave Billy a smile. "Gonna make a good woman out of her, Black?" She teased, punching his shoulder.
Billy flushed. "Go away.." He murmured. Kajumei shrugged, walking away. Billy made a fist and rubbed his knuckled. They were white, from nervousness, and his skin was cold. He felt his stomach churn again. ~ Don't do it, idiot.. You'll just embarrass yourself. .~ His mind yelled. ~ She's way out of your league anyway, Billy, just stop! ~ His lip trembled. Most of his day was spent either reading, meaningless wandering, and filled with doubtful thoughts. Should he tell her or not? If he never told her, then he may be letting go of one of the best chances of his life. If he did tell her, and she didn't feel the same way, it may completely ruin their pretty stable relationship.
Karina left the room again, now fastening a silver loop earring on. She twisted the ring on her finger around nervously, then looked up at Billy. "Still here?" She asked gently.
"I hate funerals.." Billy whispered, wincing as he said it. He tried to scan her for a reaction, but there was none.
Karina smiled simply at him, then murmured, "Primera's staying here, right?"
"One of the nurse's is going to keep an eye on her." Billy replied. As Karina turned to leave, Billy felt his mind begin screaming opposite things at him. One half screamed 'Tell her! Tell her now!, but the other half screamed 'Don't do it!'. As she continued down the hall, the feuding voices finally got to Billy and he lurched forward slightly. "Karina, wait!" He called as she stopped, turning to look at him.
"Yes, Billy?" She asked as Billy ran to catch up to her. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling his stomach churn more wildly than before, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.
"..I..I.." Billy bit his lip, rubbing his knuckles and fidgeting nervously. "I.. I.. I have.. t-to tell you something.."
Karina looked at him quizzically, cocking her head to one side. "What is it, Billy?" She asked gently, smiling.
"I.. uh.. The thing is.. you see.." Billy mumbled under his breath, trying to look her in the eye instead of stare at her shoes. "I'm.. Uh.. I'm.. Sorry about what happened.." He blurted out, immediately kicking himself inside.
Karina looked at him blankly for a moment, then smiled weakly. "Thanks Billy.." She whispered, continuing down the hall.
Billy sat there for a moment, stunned. He didn't realize what he had said, if he had said anything. Had he just stood there silently, like a moron? Or did he stay something that would make him feel stupider than anything else he could've done. The truth suddenly slapped him in the face, and he snapped back into reality. "No.. no.. Karina! Wait!" He called again, Karina pausing again and looking back at him. Billy's face flushed as he ran up to her, stopping quickly as soon as he reached her.
"What is it, Billy?" Karina repeated, looking up at him patiently.
Billy slowly made eye contact, whispering, "There's something really important.. I-I need to tell you.."
"Anything.." Karina replied.
"Karina.. The thing is.. I.. I.. l-" He began, but was cut off by Bart calling out.
"Hey, you two! It's time to go!" He called, tying his necktie uneasily. He squinted as he got his thumb stuck in the tie, then pulled it out. "Come on!" He said, walking to the elevator.
"Right, Bart.." Karina nodded. She looked at Billy. "Can this.."
"Yeah, sure!" Billy replied before she could finish. "I'll talk to you later! He.. hehe.." Billy laughed nervously, running after Bart. Karina shrugged, following Billy slowly.
"Dreary place, no?" Sierra whispered to Sigurd as the group entered the filled funeral home. There were numerous people filling the room, many absorbed in looking at pictures of lost ones and crying into one another. Pictures submitted by family members were seated on a large polished cherry wood table. After about 20 minutes, Citan and Bart had made their way over to some grieving people, meaning to pay his respects. Billy had stayed only momentarily, then disappeared. Karina was on a balcony with Brad and Kajumei. Rico stood alone in the corner of the room, sending Ziggy out to get him drinks every once in a while. Sierra sat with Sigurd, the two discussing what they were going to do after this blew over. Jessie stood near the drinks, obviously taking his own fair share of alcohol. Maria, Fei, Emeralda, and Elly were scattered about the large funeral home, most likely talking with the grieving, just like Citan and Bart.
Brad pulled off of the balcony that he had been leaning on, patting Karina's back gently. "Cheer up, girly girl." He whispered in her ear, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Karina nodded slowly. Kajumei smiled and pat Karina's back gently.
"We'll be back soon, girl." Kajumei whispered, and Brad and Kajumei reentered the funeral home. Karina let out a long sigh, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. She felt like someone was watching her, and turned around.
There were a few young men behind her, one stepping closer. He smiled slightly, brushing a strand of blonde hair from his eyes. He wore a navy blue suit, had steel gray eyes, and spiked dirty blonde hair. He gave her a small smile, and leaned up against the banister next to her. "Mind if we share this balcony with you?" He asked.
Karina shook her head, turning away. He placed a hand on her shoulder, making her shiver with something she couldn't really detect, maybe fear.
"My name is Ray." He said gently. "Yours?"
Karina looked at him strangely. "..Excuse me, sir.." She whispered, trying to pull away.
"Come on, pretty, tell me your name.." He whispered softly, tightening his grip on his shoulder.
"Please let go.." She whispered, tugging to try and get away. She finally tugged away, and turned to leave. She bumped into a wall of the young men that had entered with Ray. One of the grabbed onto her arms, squeezing her arms.
"He asked you a question, girlie.." One man snickered.
Ray moved up behind Karina. "Aw.. now, names aren't really necessary, are they?" He asked, running a finger along the edge of her sweater. "Especially with what I'm gonna do.."
Karina felt her heart begin to pound like that of a baby rabbit's when it's trapped in a corner by a preying cat. She began to struggle, but to no avail. She soon found herself on the ground, surrounded by dark shapes, and felt someone rip her sweater off. She did the only thing she could think of..
"These poor people.." Citan murmured, stepping up to Jessie, who was obviously getting smashed.
"Yup." Jessie nodded.
Citan sniffed. "Booze, Jessiah?! Honestly, have you no respect?" He snapped.
"It's my way of paying respects, old man.. My way of dealing with depression.." Jessie gave a hiccup, then smiled.
"And your way of dealing with everything else.. You're going to rot of laziness and booze, Jessiah!" He hissed.
"Excuse me.." Brad said, grabbing two glasses of wine from the table. He handed one to Kajumei, who took her glass and twirled the drink around in the glass.
"How is Miss Karina faring?" Citan asked, and Brad gave a sigh.
"I'm not sure, Doc." Brad replied. "I just.. I want her to feel better, you know? But Karina took this really hard.."
"I see.." Citan whispered. "One wishes that she could deal with this as well as Jessiah here.."
"He's just getting drunk.." Brad whispered.
"But I'm happy." Jessie nodded, holding up his glass.
"I just-" Brad began, but a shrill scream filled the air. He spun around, trying to find the source of the scream. "What the?!"
"That came from the balcony where Karina was!" Kajumei cried out, rushing back to the balcony.
At the entrance to the balcony huddled away at the corner of the funeral home, a small crowd of young men stood at the door. Brad pushed past them, knocking a few against the wall. He saw one leaning over something on the ground, grabbing him as well. His eyes widened at what he saw.
Karina, his own baby sister, was laying on the floor, the top of her shirt torn, her skirt ripped in the front. She had lost one of her shoes, and her sweater had been flung and was hanging off the edge of the balcony. Her eyes opened slowly, her chest heaving. She had tears streaming down her face, and more appeared when she saw her older brother looking at her in terror.
"Karina..?" Brad's face immediately changed from horrified to infuriated. He clenched his fists, almost choking Ray. He slammed the young man against the wall, yelling something at him. Karina couldn't hear anything they were saying, she was still too terrified. She stood up rapidly, and her other shoe flipped off. She pushed past Kajumei and anyone else who had crowded around, running for anywhere to hide. All she knew was that something horrible was kept from happening, and her brother was making sure that the man who tried it would never be able to again.
She couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't breathe. She felt her feet slap against the cement, then the grass. She was running blindly. She felt herself run over something arc-shaped and wooden, maybe the Amour Bridge? She thought she heard a voice call her from behind, but she didn't care. She kept running until she felt her collapse onto something cold and hard. She curled into a ball and continued to cry.
Billy had left the reception early, too absorbed in all of his thoughts. He had walked around the cemetery, looking around, and then ended up standing on the Amour Bridge, leaning against one of the wooden railings. He sighed, dropping a rose that he had picked off of one of the rose vines in the cemetery into the water. The creek trickled lightly, pulling the rose downstream.
~You're such a fool..~ He said to himself. He looked up and said aloud, "Why can't I do it, already? I'm sick of feeling like this!" He sighed, remembering what Bart had told him. No matter what Billy told himself, Bart was right. Billy would be damned if he ever saw one more moment that Bart was right, though.
He looked down. He had to do it. The feelings were just going to kill him if he didn't. As soon as the group got home, he was going to pull Karina aside and tell her, no matter how hard it was for him. He was about to turn to go back to the funeral home, when he saw Karina running up to him. He almost smiled and greeted her, until he noticed the state she was in. Her clothes were torn her sweater and shoes were gone as well. She ran past him, crying. He called after her, trying to find out what was wrong, but she did not stop. She had headed for the statue of Mother Sophia, so Billy followed, slowly.
He cautiously peered around the corner, whispering, "Kari..?" She didn't look up at him. She was sitting with her knees bunched up to her chest, her head bent down so her face was buried in her knees, her arms wrapped around her legs. He could hear her crying softly. Billy walked up next to her slowly, sitting down. "Karina..?"
She said, in a muffled, weak voice, "..Billy..?" She looked up, then turned away. "Please leave.." She whispered.
"Karina.. What's wrong..? What happened?" Billy whispered, reaching out for her shoulders. Karina was shaking, her skin was cold, and it made his head turn to lead. Whatever had happened was bad, very bad. He felt himself urgently grabbing for her arms, pulling her close. He actions shocked him, but for some reason he didn't pull away.
"..Billy.." She breathed into him, her hands groping for his. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "..Someone.. he tried to.. he tried to.. I was so scared, Billy.." She bit her lip, and her voice broke. She didn't need to say anything more, the message was already clear.
Billy felt his entire body fill with anger. How dare anyone try to hurt her.. How dare they try and do anything to make her be in more pain than she was already in. He felt Karina shiver in his arms, and knew immediately that the younger girl was cold. Well, with torn clothes and no sweater, she would have to have been pretty cold. Billy pulled away momentarily and removed his dress jacket. He laid the heavy jacket on her shoulders.
Karina's face flushed as the warmth of Billy's jacket covered her. For some reason, she felt safer now, surrounded by that warmth. She could smell lightly the scent of Billy's cologne. She looked up at him.
"You're safe now, Karina.." Billy whispered, taking her in his arms again. He tried to imagine how hard this must be for her, what with all of these things happening to her all at once.
Karina shivered in his arms, as if more of the cold was inside of her rather than outside. She breathed in slowly, burying her face in Billy's chest. "I hate this, Billy.." She whispered.
"I do too, Kari.." He whispered.
"..Not just this, Billy.. The fact that.." Karina looked away, biting her lip. "All of my world has to fall apart, and now this has to happen.. again.."
Billy felt his heart sink, his hands turn cold when she said that. "..A-Again..? Karina.. what do you.. what do you mean?"
Karina shivered again in his arms. "..Do.. Do you remember how I didn't want to talk about the slum district of Cimerion?"
"..Yes.."
"..When I was.. Fourteen.. Brad and I were coming home from swimming at Kajumei's house before we got our own pool. We had gone shopping, and were in east Cimerion at the time. We decided to take a shortcut through the slums.. and we got separated in the crowds.." Karina took a deep breath before continuing, "I was alone, and I was trying to look for Brad, when someone attacked me.. He was stronger and much bigger than I was, and even though I tried to struggle to get away, no matter how hard a struggled, he kept going. He was so close to.. to.." Karina bit her lip. She felt Billy's grip on her tighten, a sign that he was there for her, and wouldn't hurt her in any way. "..But.. But.. Brad was suddenly there.. He saved Me.. from that man.. That's why Brad is so overprotective now.. Because he didn't want that to ever happen to me again.."
Billy's stomach churned, and he felt himself instinctively hold onto her even tighter than before. He didn't want anyone else to hurt her, and he wouldn't allow it. The shock of what she had told him was still sinking in.
"..Brad and I never told anyone about it.. So it's my big secret, I suppose.." Karina whispered. Billy noted that she had stopped crying, maybe a sign that she was starting to settle down.
Billy faltered as Karina turned her starlit gaze toward him. Though her eyes brimmed with tears, her face streaked, she was still the most stunning sight he had ever seen in his life. He took a few moments as the two sat in silence, just looking at each other, to drink in her beauty. First, almost his favorite, were her eyes. Deep, dark pools of midnight blue and indigo, flecked with silver that made her eyes look like the midnight sky, and shrouded by thick, dark lashes, soft as a butterfly kiss. He noted the delicate curve of her neck, her delicate jaw line, and the way her lilac hair fell in pools around her shoulders. Most of all, though he felt rather guilty about it, he noted her soft, flower petal lips, which he had yearned to touch since the moment he met her.
Karina gave him an uncertain look, resting her forehead on his shoulder. Billy smiled gently, resting a hand on the back of her head and drawing her close in a tight embrace. Karina made a weak mewling sound before finally settling down into his lock.
"..Billy.." She said, barely audible.
"..Yes?"
Karina pulled away slightly, still in Billy's hug, and looked into his eyes. "Will you keep my secret?"
Billy gave her a weak nod.
She looked away, as if to hide something, and then drew closer, leaning her head now against his chest, sighing at the sound of his heartbeat.
A lump grew in Billy's throat as he hugged onto her more tightly than before. He bit his bottom lip, as if he was uncertain of what to say, if anything He knew what it was that he needed to say, more than anything in the world. Stroking her hair gently, he whispered, "M-miss Karina?"
She responded with a gentle, "Hmm?"
He swallowed his fear, but the uncertainty of wondering whether or not he should tell her now, while she was in such a vulnerable state, ate him alive. His voice, weak and hoarse, added, "I-I've been meaning to.. To tell you something.. F-for a very long time now.."
Karina looked up, giving him a questioning look. "That's right.. you did want to tell me something.. didn't you?" Billy smiled tenderly, reaching up and wiping the tears away from her cheeks. He looked down, a blush creeping up his face.
"Yes.. It's just that.. S-since the moment I laid eyes on you.. I-I knew there was something different about you.. Something t-that made you different from anyone else I have ever met.. S-something that I, without even knowing it, have wanted for the longest time."
(Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question)
He looked into her eyes, filled with uncertainty and sadness. "Y-you love everything, Karina.. You never wish death on anything, or harm to come to anyone.. A-And I now know th-that that's what I've wanted this whole time."
"..Billy..?" She blinked, looking at him questioningly.
"All of my life.. I've just wanted to love someone more than anything, and have that person love me in return.."
(Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend)
Before Billy could begin again, Karina hushed him by placing the tip of her finger to his lips. She looked into his eyes, probing, trying to find something that maybe she hadn't seen before. Billy felt his face warm as her dazzling eyes looked deeply into his own. A gentle smile appeared momentarily as Karina pulled away, removing her finger from his lips.
(And I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe)
In a hushed, weak voice, Billy continued. "..I-I know it sounds silly, but.. But I think I've found that person in you, Karina.. I.. I.." His voice faltered, but Karina wrapped her fingers around his own and squeezed reassuringly. Feeling his throat tighten, his heart pound, his stomach churn, his skin turn cold and his fingers tingle from nervousness, he took one final breath before whispering, drawing her hands close to his chest, "Karina.. I.. I love you.."
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life)
He then took her hand and set it lightly on his chest, over his heart. He held her hand there, knowing that she must feel the thundering of his heart, and continued, "And.. With every fiber of my being.." he paused as he felt his voice grow weak, "I will be there.. To love and protect you.."
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
Karina smiled, tears brimming in her eyes. "Oh.. Oh, Billy.." He voice was weak, and barely whispering. She tightened her hand around his shirt, then placed her other hand next to it. Karina snuggled into his embrace, pulling herself to be able to rest her head on his shoulder.
(There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion)
She looked deeply into his eyes before responding, "..I've been wanting to tell you that myself for so long.." She smiled, shutting her eyes halfway.
"..W-What..?" Billy felt his face flush, his arms turn weak.
"The thing is.." Karina looked down, her dark lashes hiding her gorgeous eyes. "I've been too scared to tell you the truth.." She looked back up at him, her cheeks blushing, her eyes alight with happiness, but still wet with tears.
"..Karina..?"
(And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home)
"Ever since that first time we talked.. I knew you were special, Billy.." She whispered, tightening her grip on his fingers. "And I knew I cared about you.. But.. but I didn't think my feelings would go this far.. and it scared me for such a long time.." She murmured, looking back up into his eyes. "I.. I.."
Billy's eyes widened at what she said next..
(I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe)
She said, barely in a whisper, "..I love you too, Billy.."
Billy felt his heart his heart flutter, his body warm as she said those words. Who knew those three words would make him feel this way? Three simple words..
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life)
Billy smiled, relieved that he had finally gotten what he had wanted to get off of his chest done with, and even more so that his feelings were being returned. "Oh.. Karina.." Was all he could say. Karina looked up at him. The two could only smile at each other, their hearts pounding against one another.
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
He wasn't sure, but Billy thought he heard the sound of someone approaching behind them. He didn't care, anyway. He didn't care if this were a dream, either. If it were, it was the most wonderful dream he had had his whole life. He felt like all of the heartache he had had to go through his whole life was finally repaid. Somewhere in his heart, he believed that Karina was a gift from God, just for him, something for him to love and treasure forever.
He pulled Karina away from his chest, just to look deeply into her eyes. He saw, under all of the starlight of her eyes, a hidden passion that he had never really seen before. He smiled, looking at the perfect angel in his arms. He pulled her close, resting his cheek on her head. He breathed in the smell of Karina's hair and skin, which resembled roses and vanilla. So, this was utter perfection?
(A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you)
Karina looked into his eyes when he had pulled them apart to look into hers. They were gentle, soft, and blue. They were the color of icicles, light and cold. He was handsome, very handsome, with a smile that always melted her heart. Jessie had told her once that it was the same smile as his mother's. She knew, that even through all of the hardships, Billy had been there for her, no matter what. He was always there, which was one of the many reasons why she loved him with all her heart. She knew her brother would call it puppy love, but she didn't care. She would do anything to be with Billy. The young man pulled her back into his embrace, and rested his cheek on the top of her head. She smiled into his chest, breathing in the smell of his skin. She felt like a princess, even though she knew it was a silly thing to feel.
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life)
"No matter what happens to us.. Will you stay with me, Billy..?" Karina whispered weakly.
"..Of course.." Billy replied, lowering his head so that he could plant a soft kiss on the tip of Karina's ear. He could feel her shiver in his arms, and felt himself blushed, surprised at himself for being so forward. "Will you stay with me?"
"..Forever.." Karina nodded, burying her face even more deeply into Billy's chest. She breathed in again, sighing out, "Billy.."
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)
Slowly, unsure of what she was doing, she leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on his lips. Billy's eyes widened, when at last he became sure of her silent request to him, then wrapped his arms around her.
So, wrapped in each other's arms, bathed in moonlight, the two lover's poured all of their burning emotions into one kiss, one that seemed to both of them, even though neither really cared, to last forever. Billy felt complete for the first time in his entire life, Karina felt safe and secure, and most of all, both felt like they were loved. They felt like they loved each other more than two people had ever loved each other before. Even though it would seem somewhat cheap to some people, that they felt this was true, and the only thing either could truly rely on.
(I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life)