Mulder leaned against the doorframe of Scully's apartment while she sifted through her keys looking for the right one to open her door. Scully found the right key for the lock and swung the door open. Mulder went in and took off his coat, draping it over his shoulder. He waited for Scully before sitting down.

Scully took off her own coat and hung it up beside the door, Mulder simply laid his over the arm of the couch and sat down.

"Do you want anything?" Scully asked, being a good host.

"No, thank you", Mulder said looking back over his shoulder. He said no, but he knew that Scully was going to make two of whatever she was making and bring him some anyway.

In minutes Scully was sitting beside Mulder on the couch, both sipping from matching mugs.

"Are you happy now?" Scully asked.

"Are you happy?" Mulder replied seriously.

"I meant are you happy to see that I'm okay. I got inside my building safely, the elevator didn't crop out, I didn't get dizzy and pass out in the hall."

Mulder was hurt, he hadn't meant to burden Scully so much with over protectiveness. His behaviour was selfish. He knew it was selfish, but he didn't know how to change.

"Mulder, you have to stop worrying about me so much, it's making me worry about you."

Mulder felt even worse now, knowing the extra strain he was putting on Scully.

"I'm sorry Scully. I guess I'm just not ready to accept it yet. I think mostly because I feel like I am to blame for everything that's happened to you, in your life since we met."

"Mulder I don't blame you for what's happened to me, for everything that has happened or will happen. It's no ones fault. I chose this life."

"Do you ever wish you had made different choices?"

"Well that's a silly question to ask. Mulder, why ask that? Even if I had made other choices who is to say I'd be any happier."

"So you aren't happy, you just said it."

"Mulder, I am happy. As happy as I can be and as happy as I need to be."

Scully put her mug down on the coffee table, Mulder did the same with his. The soup inside had gone cold. Neither of them hadn't eaten much of it, Scully noticed Mulder hadn't had any of his. She folded her hands in her lap and leaned back against the cushions.

"I just think sometimes about how much better your life would be if you had stayed in medicine. If you hadn't joined the FBI, or if you even just hadn't been assigned to the X-Files."

"Mulder, I wouldn't miss this life for anything, I wouldn't trade it for any other life. I've had a good life, I like knowing where I am, knowing where the choices I made have brought me. I like thinking about where else I could be if I had made different choices. Things could have been worse, we don't know."

"How could things be any worse, Scully"

"We might not have met."

Mulder looked back at Scully, she smiled.

"Scully, if we hadn't met you wouldn't be sick right now. Your sister would still be alive and you would never have been abducted."

"You're only focusing on the negative, Mulder." She took his hand and used it as leverage to lift herself from the back of the couch. She sat up beside him and he put his arms around her.

"There's too much negative," Scully nodded in agreement and rested her head on his shoulder and Mulder rested his chin on top of Scully's head. "Do you ever think about the way things could have been? If we had met under different circumstances?"

"Knowing each other under different circumstances would not be the same. Mulder, our lives, our line of work, all the life threatening situations and close encounters has created a bond, a relationship that no one understands. A love that no one understands," Scully blushes from her words. "Love that cannot be defined in words, or explained in any conventional term of the word."

"It's an X-File." Mulder chuckled, relieving the tension Scully had created.

"We think we're unhappy because we lack things that normal people have. You believe I'm unhappy because you feel you've robbed me of a normal life. Mulder, I don't know any other life but this one. I don't know any other kind of happiness, because I'm happy when I'm with you."

They couldn't hide in their embrace any longer, Mulder pulled Scully away so he could see her face, so he could see the sincerity in her eyes. Small tears formed in her eyes from the words she had said, and seeing the reflection of her own feelings through Mulder's gaze, Scully knew he felt the same way.

"You have to stop thinking about the way it could have been, Mulder."

kiss her! kiss her you fool!
-Petey- let me know what you think