Title: Maggascotchi
Author: savvyfullhouse's friends, I Seek World Domination and lakerlover
Genre: Humor
Rated: G/PG
Disclaimer: If you haven't caught on by now, we don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, the characters, any famous people mentioned in this chapter and others, Shrek, American Idol, and the all important A1 sauce. We worship A1 sauce. bowing down in front of A1 sauce shrine WE ARE NOT WORTHY! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
A/N: I Seek World Domination: We've been reading this story out loud to our little sister and our mom, and I think mommy's getting annoyed with these "never-ending chapters"...they both gave us a couple ideas though...so YAY- NESS! My friend says that...she adds the ending 'ness' in back of every word when she's on a sugar-high...which is pretty often...yeah... Anywhos, thanks to the reviewers...I'm not connected to the Internet right now, so I'd type you guys in if I could...but I think it'd be the same as last time, considering no one reviewed in forever...but that's okie-dokie with us because we haven't reviewed in forever...I think we just wrote this chapter now coz it's raining outside and there's nothing to do. Yeah... All right, go head and read...yeah...
Chapter Four: "Psychic Will and Love-struck Jack"
"Nooo!" moaned Barbossa.
"I know, I know!" sobbed Governor Swann. "It's horrible! I should have stopped Norrington while I had the chance!"
"No, not that!" cried Barbossa. "I can't decide whether this sounds like a soap opera or Jerry Springer!"
"It matters not!" exclaimed Governor Swann. "What matters now is that we reach Elizabeth before she marries a pirate or her half-brother!"
"Aye, Governor, but don't the Commodore and Gillette know the truth?"
"If Norrington knew the truth, do you suppose he'd be rushing off after her?!"
"That be a good point there, Governor. I say you straighten this lively—uh, what be the word?—situation out with 'em as soon as possible."
"You're right, Barbossa. We had better recruit Gillette and the three of us can sail after Norrington and my daughter."
"And Jack Sparrow," added Barbossa, his eyes glinting with a plan for revenge.
Back at the Skull and Crossbones, Arnold Schwartzenegger was campaigning for a second term when the doors to the pub flew open.
"JJJAAACCCKKK!"
"Yes?" Nicholson answered.
"No, not you!" The person who was speaking sauntered in through the door. They recognized his Commodore outfit immediately.
"Hey, you're that annoying old guy from the Navy that Jack always talks about!" cried Jennifer Aniston. "What happened to your hat?"
"My name is Commodore Norrington," he announced pompously, "and I am here to speak with Jack Sparrow." His eyes drifted uncertainly around the pub. "This wasn't here last time, was it?"
Jerry Bruckheimer stood up. "Welcome to the Skull and Crossbones, Jack's pride of the Caribbean. I'm sorry to tell you that he's out right now."
"Wow, check this place out! They even have strobe lights!" cheered Gillette, who quickly became dizzy and collapsed to the floor.
Norrington tried to suppress his agitation. "He's out? Out where? When do you expect him back?"
"Don't know," shrugged Bruckheimer. "But you can ask Seacrest over there."
In no time, Norrington had cornered the hot host of American Idol.
"You!" sneered Norrington. "Tell me where Jack Sparrow is!"
"Huh? What's going on?" blubbered Ryan.
"You know perfectly well what's going on. Stop trying to cover up for the swashbuckling idiot. Where did Jack Sparrow go?"
"Well, Norrington—it is Norrington, isn't it?"
"Commodore."
"Commodore, yes, all right. Actually, I have to respect Mr. Sparrow's privacy—"
"Forget Mr. Sparrow's privacy!" shrieked Norrington. "I'm better- looking than you! Now, answer me!"
"All right, all right. Watch the hair—I have a show tonight, Commodore. Okay, he got a text message from Elizabeth."
"Elizabeth!" sighed Norrington, relieved. "Good! Hey, why would she text message him?"
"And she said that she had been kidnapped by...oh, what was the name? Started with an 'M'..."
Norrington looked like he was about to blow a fuse.
"Maggascotchi! That was it! And she needed help. So Jack and Will sailed off to find her."
"Wait! Will was here, too?" Norrington didn't wait any longer for an answer. Instead, he dragged a woozy Gillette off the pub floor and headed quickly for the door, annoyed.
"Wait, wait!" interrupted Gillette, spotting someone. "That's Jerry Bruckheimer! Hey, Mr. Bruckheimer! Sir! I have a splendid idea for your next film! It's called Commodores of the Caribbean!"
"Good luck on your search," Arnold called as the two disappeared out the door, "and remember to vote for Arnold."
Norrington had barely taken one footstep out the door when a burst of bad breath hit him full in the face.
"JJJAAACCCKKK!"
"Hey, look, it's Mr. Gibbs!" grinned Gillette. "What are you doing here?"
"It be Captain Gibbs now, mates," the man announced.
"Oh, great, not another one," muttered Norrington. He looked out towards the ocean and saw the Black Pearl, crew and all, moored offshore beside the Dauntless. Well, that had been the intention. Thanks to some vague steering directions from Cotton (they kind of forgot that he couldn't talk, especially without his parrot), Gibbs had rammed straight into the side of the Dauntless. All that remained of the Dauntless was crow's nest peeking pitifully out of the water, and in a few seconds, even that disappeared beneath the ocean waves.
"Curse you pirates!!!!" shouted Norrington, throwing his soggy hat down in disgust. "Whoever let you get near a helm needs their brain examined!"
"Well, Commodore, I didn't see this one coming," commented Gillette.
"Oh, was that your ship?" Gibbs—oh, we're sorry—Captain Gibbs said offhandedly. "Um, have either of you seen Jack?"
"You're his crew! Shouldn't you know where he is?" retorted Norrington.
"He not be a part of our crew anymore, not after what 'e did."
Gillette raised his eyebrows. "What did he do?"
"'E ate poor ol' Cotton's parrot."
"This is ridiculous!" Norrington exclaimed. "I've been sunk twice in one day, I have to put up with Lieutenant Tag-A-Long, Elizabeth's been kidnapped, and at this point I have no way of saving her and becoming respectable ever again! And why is everybody obsessed with finding Jack Sparrow?!"
"Because he's the main character of this story?" Gillette suggested.
"Pff! Hardly! I have twice as many lines as he does!" snorted Norrington.
"But he has the GQ cover looks."
"What are you implying, Gillette?"
"Actually," Captain Gibbs cut in, sheepishly, "we 'eard bout his pub, and, uh, our supplies were running a bit low, and...uh..."
"You came crawling back on your hands and knees to beg for him to return to the Pearl."
"Either that or I wanted a joint partnership in the Skull and Crossbones."
"Well don't bother," Norrington intervened, "Jack Sparrow isn't here."
"Elizabeth was kidnapped by Maggascotchi, and Jack and Will both went out to rescue her," explained Gillette.
"Who's Maggascotchi?" asked Gibbs.
"Apparently, the most feared woman pirate of the high seas, according to Barbossa."
Captain Gibbs blinked. "Wait. Barbossa's not dead?"
"Nope. He was baked in a cake, though."
"Shut up! Everybody just shut up!" exclaimed Norrington. "Listen to me! I am the most important guy here, and you two are making this story absolutely boring! Now, I see no other choice but to...to j—...to...to join..." he cringed, "...to join forces, on account that you idiots sunk my ship. We can sail out after Jack Sparrow t-t-together—"
"Like one big happy family!" cheered Gillette.
"If I were related to you, I'd shoot myself," muttered Norrington.
Gibbs scratched his scruffy, gray beard. "I don't know. Wha' be in it fer us?"
"A detour from the noose."
"Aye! Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Commodore!"
As they trampled back on deck, Norrington turned to Gillette who trailed behind him.
"Gillette, I have a very special assignment for you. I want you to stay here."
"Stay here, sir? Stay here and do what?"
"Just stay here. That's your special assignment. Good luck."
"Good luck findin' Elizabeth now," grumbled Jack, squinting at his stubborn compass that didn't point north. Disgusted, he threw it down on the deck. "Wha' good be it? I don't know where I'm bloody sailin' to anyway!" He turned around to find Will plucking at his costume. "Will, why are still dressed like the governor?"
"I don't know..." Will blushed. "It just makes me feel kinda important."
Jack rolled his eyes and returned to steering the Paris Hilton aimlessly among the waves. "You know, Will, it would be nice if you could do something a bit constructive for this little escapade."
"I could braid your hair."
"Something that might help us find your bonny lass, I mean. Do you have even the slightest idea of where she might be?"
"That's why I came to find you!"
Jack couldn't help smirking. "Captain Jack Sparrow 'ere to save the day again, eh?"
Twisting the pink curls of his wig around his finger, Will suddenly felt useless. After all, he was supposed to be the one out rescuing Elizabeth to prove his love for her; if he let Jack do everything, that would be like cheating. Gasp! Cheating! The only thing worse was complete and utter separation from his lemon meringue. Figuring he'd better think of something to contribute quickly, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind:
"Maggascotchi might be headed for Tortuga."
"Tortuga? Wha' make you say that?"
He had Jack's full attention now, but knew nothing else to say. Finally, he just decided to start making things up. At least it sounded good. "Well, after all, Maggascotchi's the most feared woman pirate—"
"—To ever sail the high seas, yes, yes, I know that. And?"
"And...she...she's always admired you—"
"She has?"
"Oh, yes, of course. And after—after hearing about your adventures on the Black Pearl she thought it would be great to meet you personally. She thought for sure that she'd run into you in Tortuga."
"Did she now," smiled Jack, looking completely pleased with himself. "Well, wha' can you expect? After all, I am Captain Jack Sparrow. What else do you know 'bout 'er?"
"Uh...she...she has dark hair...and—"
"Oh," Jack sighed disappointedly, "dark hair, eh?"
"No, no, no! Actually, it's...uh...blonde! Yeah, it's blonde..."
"But you jess said it was dark..."
"Well...it is when your eyes are closed!"
"Right you are!" Jack cheered. "Say, wha' color eyes does she 'ave?"
"Well...she—"
"I've always had a thing for blue eyes..."
"That's right, Jack! She has blue eyes!"
"...But...then again...I like brown eyes too...I just can't decide..."
"Brown! She has brown eyes! Brown and blue eyes!"
"Wha?"
"One brown and one blue!"
"Aye, so I could look at the left side of 'er face when I feel like one color, and the right side when I feel like the other!"
"That way they're both the right sides!" cheered Will
enthusiastically.
"Say, Will," Jack pressed, "does Maggascotchi 'appen to speak French and have a thing for huge sunglasses?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Er...do you like that...?"
"Corse!"
"Yeah, then! She speaks French and likes huge sunglasses!"
By the time the conversation wound down, Maggascotchi had become the high- sailin', tacky-T-shirt-wearin', weird-hat-donnin', pink-wig-hatin', Mademoiselle of Jack's dreams.
"But, Will," Jack said after a moment, thinking it was too good to be true, "how do you know all this 'bout Maggascotchi?"
Pause.
"Let me guess. You're psychic."
"I knew you would know."
"I knew you would know," Barbossa declared, following the Governor through Port Royal.
"Know what?" Governor Swann asked half-mindedly.
"I don't know..." Barbossa trailed, captivated by the gleaming ships in the harbor off the docks that he could commandeer.
"Come on, Barbossa, hurry up! We must get to Gillette's house!" the Governor urged, before a voice rang out:
"You! Back already?"
Governor Swann turned around. "What?"
"Yes, you! The pathetic man with the pink wig! Did you find your fiancé already?"
Barbossa and the Governor ambled down to the docks and the harbormaster, a confused look creasing the governor's face.
"Just what in the name of Great Britain are you talking about?" he demanded.
"Oh," the harbormaster said, spotting the elderly, creased face of the Governor and realizing his error. "I thought you were someone else."
Barbossa blinked. "There's someone else who has a pink wig?"
"Aye. Some rambling blacksmith—"
"Will!"
"—who was dumped by his fiance—"
"Elizabeth!"
"—and went out in search to find her. And then some raging mad lunatic from the Royal Navy—"
"Norrington!"
"—sailed out after him. And then another dimwitted fellow from the Navy followed him—"
"Gillette!"
"—and that was the last I saw of any of 'em. Now, how may I help you?"
"But why would Will have a pink wig? That's not his color!" pondered Barbossa.
"And how could Will have gotten a letter from Elizabeth? I thought she was kidnapped!" continued Governor Swann.
"And how can you two just stand here and ask stupid questions when you're obviously in need of one of my fine ships?" cut in the harbormaster. "I suggest The Odd Couple would fit you two splendidly."
So, baffled and not entirely sure what they were doing, Governor Swann and Barbossa lumbered onto the ship and sailed out in search of Gillette, Norrington, Will, Jack Sparrow, and Elizabeth—not completely certain which one they were aiming for, but just hoping that they'd run into one of them before Chapter Six.
CLIP-CLOP-CLIP-CLOP.
Barbossa stopped, grabbing a hold of Governor Swann's frock.
"Governor," he whispered under his breath, "are you wearing heels?"
"I beg your pardon."
"Well, it's not me clip-clop-clopping!" retorted Barbossa.
"Are you sure?" the Governor questioned.
"Yes, I'm sure."
"You said you're sure?" Governor Swann asked, the salty ocean breeze gusting curls of the wig into his ears and preventing his hearing.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Who's sure?"
"I'm sure!"
"I'm sure?"
"Not you're sure!"
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure!"
"Sure what?"
"She sells seashells by the seashore!"
"Ohhh," nodded the Governor. "I like playing horseshoes, too!"
With the wig clogging his ears, Governor Swann couldn't hear any noise that the pirate was referring to anyway. The Governor, rolling his eyes, discarded the rude comment and the two set sail. The clip-clop-clip was drowned out by the roar of the waves.
A/N: I Seek World Domination: Okay, so this chapter seemed kinda short...I don't know why...but you can tell me why or why not you liked it in a review! YAY FOR REVIEWS! YAY-NESS! Okie-dokie...buh-bye!
Author: savvyfullhouse's friends, I Seek World Domination and lakerlover
Genre: Humor
Rated: G/PG
Disclaimer: If you haven't caught on by now, we don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, the characters, any famous people mentioned in this chapter and others, Shrek, American Idol, and the all important A1 sauce. We worship A1 sauce. bowing down in front of A1 sauce shrine WE ARE NOT WORTHY! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
A/N: I Seek World Domination: We've been reading this story out loud to our little sister and our mom, and I think mommy's getting annoyed with these "never-ending chapters"...they both gave us a couple ideas though...so YAY- NESS! My friend says that...she adds the ending 'ness' in back of every word when she's on a sugar-high...which is pretty often...yeah... Anywhos, thanks to the reviewers...I'm not connected to the Internet right now, so I'd type you guys in if I could...but I think it'd be the same as last time, considering no one reviewed in forever...but that's okie-dokie with us because we haven't reviewed in forever...I think we just wrote this chapter now coz it's raining outside and there's nothing to do. Yeah... All right, go head and read...yeah...
Chapter Four: "Psychic Will and Love-struck Jack"
"Nooo!" moaned Barbossa.
"I know, I know!" sobbed Governor Swann. "It's horrible! I should have stopped Norrington while I had the chance!"
"No, not that!" cried Barbossa. "I can't decide whether this sounds like a soap opera or Jerry Springer!"
"It matters not!" exclaimed Governor Swann. "What matters now is that we reach Elizabeth before she marries a pirate or her half-brother!"
"Aye, Governor, but don't the Commodore and Gillette know the truth?"
"If Norrington knew the truth, do you suppose he'd be rushing off after her?!"
"That be a good point there, Governor. I say you straighten this lively—uh, what be the word?—situation out with 'em as soon as possible."
"You're right, Barbossa. We had better recruit Gillette and the three of us can sail after Norrington and my daughter."
"And Jack Sparrow," added Barbossa, his eyes glinting with a plan for revenge.
Back at the Skull and Crossbones, Arnold Schwartzenegger was campaigning for a second term when the doors to the pub flew open.
"JJJAAACCCKKK!"
"Yes?" Nicholson answered.
"No, not you!" The person who was speaking sauntered in through the door. They recognized his Commodore outfit immediately.
"Hey, you're that annoying old guy from the Navy that Jack always talks about!" cried Jennifer Aniston. "What happened to your hat?"
"My name is Commodore Norrington," he announced pompously, "and I am here to speak with Jack Sparrow." His eyes drifted uncertainly around the pub. "This wasn't here last time, was it?"
Jerry Bruckheimer stood up. "Welcome to the Skull and Crossbones, Jack's pride of the Caribbean. I'm sorry to tell you that he's out right now."
"Wow, check this place out! They even have strobe lights!" cheered Gillette, who quickly became dizzy and collapsed to the floor.
Norrington tried to suppress his agitation. "He's out? Out where? When do you expect him back?"
"Don't know," shrugged Bruckheimer. "But you can ask Seacrest over there."
In no time, Norrington had cornered the hot host of American Idol.
"You!" sneered Norrington. "Tell me where Jack Sparrow is!"
"Huh? What's going on?" blubbered Ryan.
"You know perfectly well what's going on. Stop trying to cover up for the swashbuckling idiot. Where did Jack Sparrow go?"
"Well, Norrington—it is Norrington, isn't it?"
"Commodore."
"Commodore, yes, all right. Actually, I have to respect Mr. Sparrow's privacy—"
"Forget Mr. Sparrow's privacy!" shrieked Norrington. "I'm better- looking than you! Now, answer me!"
"All right, all right. Watch the hair—I have a show tonight, Commodore. Okay, he got a text message from Elizabeth."
"Elizabeth!" sighed Norrington, relieved. "Good! Hey, why would she text message him?"
"And she said that she had been kidnapped by...oh, what was the name? Started with an 'M'..."
Norrington looked like he was about to blow a fuse.
"Maggascotchi! That was it! And she needed help. So Jack and Will sailed off to find her."
"Wait! Will was here, too?" Norrington didn't wait any longer for an answer. Instead, he dragged a woozy Gillette off the pub floor and headed quickly for the door, annoyed.
"Wait, wait!" interrupted Gillette, spotting someone. "That's Jerry Bruckheimer! Hey, Mr. Bruckheimer! Sir! I have a splendid idea for your next film! It's called Commodores of the Caribbean!"
"Good luck on your search," Arnold called as the two disappeared out the door, "and remember to vote for Arnold."
Norrington had barely taken one footstep out the door when a burst of bad breath hit him full in the face.
"JJJAAACCCKKK!"
"Hey, look, it's Mr. Gibbs!" grinned Gillette. "What are you doing here?"
"It be Captain Gibbs now, mates," the man announced.
"Oh, great, not another one," muttered Norrington. He looked out towards the ocean and saw the Black Pearl, crew and all, moored offshore beside the Dauntless. Well, that had been the intention. Thanks to some vague steering directions from Cotton (they kind of forgot that he couldn't talk, especially without his parrot), Gibbs had rammed straight into the side of the Dauntless. All that remained of the Dauntless was crow's nest peeking pitifully out of the water, and in a few seconds, even that disappeared beneath the ocean waves.
"Curse you pirates!!!!" shouted Norrington, throwing his soggy hat down in disgust. "Whoever let you get near a helm needs their brain examined!"
"Well, Commodore, I didn't see this one coming," commented Gillette.
"Oh, was that your ship?" Gibbs—oh, we're sorry—Captain Gibbs said offhandedly. "Um, have either of you seen Jack?"
"You're his crew! Shouldn't you know where he is?" retorted Norrington.
"He not be a part of our crew anymore, not after what 'e did."
Gillette raised his eyebrows. "What did he do?"
"'E ate poor ol' Cotton's parrot."
"This is ridiculous!" Norrington exclaimed. "I've been sunk twice in one day, I have to put up with Lieutenant Tag-A-Long, Elizabeth's been kidnapped, and at this point I have no way of saving her and becoming respectable ever again! And why is everybody obsessed with finding Jack Sparrow?!"
"Because he's the main character of this story?" Gillette suggested.
"Pff! Hardly! I have twice as many lines as he does!" snorted Norrington.
"But he has the GQ cover looks."
"What are you implying, Gillette?"
"Actually," Captain Gibbs cut in, sheepishly, "we 'eard bout his pub, and, uh, our supplies were running a bit low, and...uh..."
"You came crawling back on your hands and knees to beg for him to return to the Pearl."
"Either that or I wanted a joint partnership in the Skull and Crossbones."
"Well don't bother," Norrington intervened, "Jack Sparrow isn't here."
"Elizabeth was kidnapped by Maggascotchi, and Jack and Will both went out to rescue her," explained Gillette.
"Who's Maggascotchi?" asked Gibbs.
"Apparently, the most feared woman pirate of the high seas, according to Barbossa."
Captain Gibbs blinked. "Wait. Barbossa's not dead?"
"Nope. He was baked in a cake, though."
"Shut up! Everybody just shut up!" exclaimed Norrington. "Listen to me! I am the most important guy here, and you two are making this story absolutely boring! Now, I see no other choice but to...to j—...to...to join..." he cringed, "...to join forces, on account that you idiots sunk my ship. We can sail out after Jack Sparrow t-t-together—"
"Like one big happy family!" cheered Gillette.
"If I were related to you, I'd shoot myself," muttered Norrington.
Gibbs scratched his scruffy, gray beard. "I don't know. Wha' be in it fer us?"
"A detour from the noose."
"Aye! Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Commodore!"
As they trampled back on deck, Norrington turned to Gillette who trailed behind him.
"Gillette, I have a very special assignment for you. I want you to stay here."
"Stay here, sir? Stay here and do what?"
"Just stay here. That's your special assignment. Good luck."
"Good luck findin' Elizabeth now," grumbled Jack, squinting at his stubborn compass that didn't point north. Disgusted, he threw it down on the deck. "Wha' good be it? I don't know where I'm bloody sailin' to anyway!" He turned around to find Will plucking at his costume. "Will, why are still dressed like the governor?"
"I don't know..." Will blushed. "It just makes me feel kinda important."
Jack rolled his eyes and returned to steering the Paris Hilton aimlessly among the waves. "You know, Will, it would be nice if you could do something a bit constructive for this little escapade."
"I could braid your hair."
"Something that might help us find your bonny lass, I mean. Do you have even the slightest idea of where she might be?"
"That's why I came to find you!"
Jack couldn't help smirking. "Captain Jack Sparrow 'ere to save the day again, eh?"
Twisting the pink curls of his wig around his finger, Will suddenly felt useless. After all, he was supposed to be the one out rescuing Elizabeth to prove his love for her; if he let Jack do everything, that would be like cheating. Gasp! Cheating! The only thing worse was complete and utter separation from his lemon meringue. Figuring he'd better think of something to contribute quickly, he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind:
"Maggascotchi might be headed for Tortuga."
"Tortuga? Wha' make you say that?"
He had Jack's full attention now, but knew nothing else to say. Finally, he just decided to start making things up. At least it sounded good. "Well, after all, Maggascotchi's the most feared woman pirate—"
"—To ever sail the high seas, yes, yes, I know that. And?"
"And...she...she's always admired you—"
"She has?"
"Oh, yes, of course. And after—after hearing about your adventures on the Black Pearl she thought it would be great to meet you personally. She thought for sure that she'd run into you in Tortuga."
"Did she now," smiled Jack, looking completely pleased with himself. "Well, wha' can you expect? After all, I am Captain Jack Sparrow. What else do you know 'bout 'er?"
"Uh...she...she has dark hair...and—"
"Oh," Jack sighed disappointedly, "dark hair, eh?"
"No, no, no! Actually, it's...uh...blonde! Yeah, it's blonde..."
"But you jess said it was dark..."
"Well...it is when your eyes are closed!"
"Right you are!" Jack cheered. "Say, wha' color eyes does she 'ave?"
"Well...she—"
"I've always had a thing for blue eyes..."
"That's right, Jack! She has blue eyes!"
"...But...then again...I like brown eyes too...I just can't decide..."
"Brown! She has brown eyes! Brown and blue eyes!"
"Wha?"
"One brown and one blue!"
"Aye, so I could look at the left side of 'er face when I feel like one color, and the right side when I feel like the other!"
"That way they're both the right sides!" cheered Will
enthusiastically.
"Say, Will," Jack pressed, "does Maggascotchi 'appen to speak French and have a thing for huge sunglasses?" He raised his eyebrows.
"Er...do you like that...?"
"Corse!"
"Yeah, then! She speaks French and likes huge sunglasses!"
By the time the conversation wound down, Maggascotchi had become the high- sailin', tacky-T-shirt-wearin', weird-hat-donnin', pink-wig-hatin', Mademoiselle of Jack's dreams.
"But, Will," Jack said after a moment, thinking it was too good to be true, "how do you know all this 'bout Maggascotchi?"
Pause.
"Let me guess. You're psychic."
"I knew you would know."
"I knew you would know," Barbossa declared, following the Governor through Port Royal.
"Know what?" Governor Swann asked half-mindedly.
"I don't know..." Barbossa trailed, captivated by the gleaming ships in the harbor off the docks that he could commandeer.
"Come on, Barbossa, hurry up! We must get to Gillette's house!" the Governor urged, before a voice rang out:
"You! Back already?"
Governor Swann turned around. "What?"
"Yes, you! The pathetic man with the pink wig! Did you find your fiancé already?"
Barbossa and the Governor ambled down to the docks and the harbormaster, a confused look creasing the governor's face.
"Just what in the name of Great Britain are you talking about?" he demanded.
"Oh," the harbormaster said, spotting the elderly, creased face of the Governor and realizing his error. "I thought you were someone else."
Barbossa blinked. "There's someone else who has a pink wig?"
"Aye. Some rambling blacksmith—"
"Will!"
"—who was dumped by his fiance—"
"Elizabeth!"
"—and went out in search to find her. And then some raging mad lunatic from the Royal Navy—"
"Norrington!"
"—sailed out after him. And then another dimwitted fellow from the Navy followed him—"
"Gillette!"
"—and that was the last I saw of any of 'em. Now, how may I help you?"
"But why would Will have a pink wig? That's not his color!" pondered Barbossa.
"And how could Will have gotten a letter from Elizabeth? I thought she was kidnapped!" continued Governor Swann.
"And how can you two just stand here and ask stupid questions when you're obviously in need of one of my fine ships?" cut in the harbormaster. "I suggest The Odd Couple would fit you two splendidly."
So, baffled and not entirely sure what they were doing, Governor Swann and Barbossa lumbered onto the ship and sailed out in search of Gillette, Norrington, Will, Jack Sparrow, and Elizabeth—not completely certain which one they were aiming for, but just hoping that they'd run into one of them before Chapter Six.
CLIP-CLOP-CLIP-CLOP.
Barbossa stopped, grabbing a hold of Governor Swann's frock.
"Governor," he whispered under his breath, "are you wearing heels?"
"I beg your pardon."
"Well, it's not me clip-clop-clopping!" retorted Barbossa.
"Are you sure?" the Governor questioned.
"Yes, I'm sure."
"You said you're sure?" Governor Swann asked, the salty ocean breeze gusting curls of the wig into his ears and preventing his hearing.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Who's sure?"
"I'm sure!"
"I'm sure?"
"Not you're sure!"
"You're sure?"
"I'm sure!"
"Sure what?"
"She sells seashells by the seashore!"
"Ohhh," nodded the Governor. "I like playing horseshoes, too!"
With the wig clogging his ears, Governor Swann couldn't hear any noise that the pirate was referring to anyway. The Governor, rolling his eyes, discarded the rude comment and the two set sail. The clip-clop-clip was drowned out by the roar of the waves.
A/N: I Seek World Domination: Okay, so this chapter seemed kinda short...I don't know why...but you can tell me why or why not you liked it in a review! YAY FOR REVIEWS! YAY-NESS! Okie-dokie...buh-bye!