The Opinions of Severus Snape

By Veggie-runt and her friend

Author's note: Long time no write. It also seems that no one cares for poor Sevvy's view of things. Oh well! Their loss. Well, anyway, if you do HAPPEN to read this, please consider reviewing. It is like food to a hungry gorilla. O.o nevermind. Anyway, ENJOY! (R-chan in background Boxers or Briefs? The answer later in this chapter)

Ten Years Later.........

I am sitting here in my office when in comes McGonagall, screaming at the top of her lungs. "Bloody heck woman! What is your problem?!" I yelled. She stopped, looked at me, and started screaming again.

Covering my ears, I left the office. It's not safe for me anywhere is it? I crawl to my room, the screams are killing me. Then she comes in.

Severus! I lost my favorite hair tie!" McGonagall cried.

"THIS is why you were screaming?!" "Yes" she replied. "And the fact that the children are coming tonight."

"REALLY?" I said, sarcasm dripping in my voice, brushing a hand through my hair. It's really oily. Needs to be washed, oh well! My next bath isn't until spring.

"Yes!" she screamed. Poor Minerva. She needs to get out more.

"Boy Minerva, you need to get out more." Ha, that shut her up, for a bit.

"Do you realize who will be arriving tonight Severus?" Sheesh, that glare gets a man's heart- scared- that's right SCARED!

"Students Minerva. Little brats ready to learn something." "HARRY POTTER IS ARRIVING TONIGHT SEVERUS SNAPE!"

I moaned. I was so sure that was not until next year. "Are you sure? I thought he was only ten."

"He is eleven you numbskull!" she slapped me on the face.

"Oy! What the bloody-burnin'-heck was that for?" I questioned. "For stealing my hair tie! Now give it back!"

"Oooooh! Minerva, I wanted to wear it tonight, my hair has been bugging me all day! Please can I wear it? Please please please?"

"Well, you can't have that one, but I have another pretty one you can borrow."

"Really?" she nods, "THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

I've never been so happy in my entire life! I get a pretty hair tie! What fun! Then I started to cry.

"Sevvy? Why are you crying?" Minerva asked me. I didn't want to tell her, but I did.

"I just wish my wife could be here!" I started to cry even harder.

"It's okay Severus; I know it's been awfully hard for you after she just...disappeared? Wait! You never had a wife!" I ran.

We ran from hall to hall, until my legs finally turned to Jell-O. "What is this?!" I was stuck.

"I got you Severus! HA! And that spell can't be reversed until tomorrow. Have fun with the owls!" There she left me, in the owlry. Alone, confused, and hair-tyeless.

Eventually, I fell asleep; a big, big mistake. When I woke up I was stripped down to my boxers, being licked by an owl. I never realized owls had tongues let alone tongues THAT long.

"Severus! Get up and put on some pants! I have a new job for you." I scrambled up and pulled the on the clothes Albus had selected for me, but they were not what I was expecting- my usual black.

"Headmaster! What are these- abominations?!" the clothes were black and white, vertical striped pants with a drawstring and shirt.

"I said, I have a new job for you. Some of the students want to start a basketball team, and you're the only professor who knows the sport- because of your wife." I snarled at him.

"You must be kidding me, not only would I have to wear this dreadful outfit, I would have to spend more time with those insufferable brats!" Seeing the look on Dumbledore's face, I turned my protests into coughs and made a weak smile at him.

"Then again, I do love basketball!"