Psychotic Break-out

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Chapter 9: Guilty

Jesse woke after a few seconds, momentarily dazed by the bang on his head.

He pushed himself up to a crouch, trying to shake the cobwebs that seemed to have settled in his brain. His eyes were fuzzy and the street was slanted at an unnatural angle. As he rubbed his eyes, he noticed that his hands were shaking. He swayed dangerously as a nauseous feeling crept into the pit of his stomach.

It took him a good few minutes to focus on the woman splayed out in front of him.

Jesse reached immediately for her limp wrist and automatically felt for a pulse. Feeling strangely calm, he let it drop to the asphalt. She was dead.

The only discernible mark upon her, was the slight trickle of blood flowing from a small scratch on her forehead. Black hair flung out in all directions, her head lay at an awkward angle, and her dead eyes drooped towards the ground. A little distance away, the ring intended for Steve had fallen after the impact from the car. Jesse watched it gleam in the afternoon light, transfixed, pictures of what might have been flashed before his eyes.

He shook his head quickly, causing it to throb intently. He grasped his head in his hands and let a tear creep down his cheek: not for the pain in his head but for what that pain represented: Yoshe was dead. The statement rang like a hollow bell inside his head. Yoshe was dead! And I could have stopped it!

What would Steve say, when he found out that Jesse had had the chance to save her? It was then he realised why his cell phone had stayed inside his pocket. He didn't want to call in the accident, he didn't want to admit he had failed his best friend, he didn't want to tell Steve that the woman he loved so much was dead. Phoning the hospital would be like closing the chapter in a book, and he did not want the chapter to finish.

He laid a hand on her cheek; the warm remnants of life clung to her soft skin. Jesse had never felt like this before; as a doctor he had seen many people die that he had been unable to save…but this was entirely different. This time there had been no procedure to follow, no "complications" to hide behind. Yoshe's life had been in his hands and he had let her die!

Reluctantly, he dug his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out his cell phone. After dialling the number he explained calmly the situation and asked for some assistance. The police would have to be notified naturally, and that also meant Steve…He didn't want to think about that just yet. After he had been assured that some EMTs and the Medical examiner would be dispatched, he slumped back to the ground, exhausted.

The street seemed strangely quiet, not a car had been past since the accident. Accident? He thought slowly, realising the implications of what his mind was suggesting. He tried to remember, but the injury to his head was making thinking very difficult. The screech of tyres, the roar of the engine, the desperate feeling inside his very soul as he dived towards her…It had been no accident, it had been a hit and run! What if Chloe…? He dismissed this thought however, Chloe had been gone for weeks, and why would she target Yoshe? It all made no sense!

Suddenly he heard vehicles moving up the street: it was the ambulance and the county medical examiner's car. That was quick! Jesse thought, not realising that fifteen minutes had passed during his silent ponderings.

Two EMTs leapt out of the ambulance and made their way over to Yoshe's body, nodding to Jesse on the way. Doctor Warren Brett, the medical examiner stepped out of his own car and stood there for a moment, surveying the scene before him. He caught sight of Jesse and walked up to him. "Need a hand Jesse?" he asked compassionately, offering his hand to the dazed young doctor.

"Thanks Warren" Jesse said as the older man hauled him to his feet.

"Did you witness the accident?" He questioned, slipping into professional mode.

"In a way" Jesse answered, feeling very fatigued. He really didn't want to answer these questions, but it would be much worse when the police came. "I, uh, was on my way to get Miss Wiseman out of the way of the car, but it was coming on way to fast, and I wasn't able to make it on time" Jesse finished softly, glancing over at Yoshe with the EMTs bending over her.

"You hit your head" It was more of a statement than a question. Warren's eyes registered concern as he glanced at the deep bruise forming on Jesse's forehead.

"Just a little knock" Jesse tried to brush it off, but Warren was having none of it.

"Hey Patrick!" He shouted one of the EMTs, who appeared to have established properly that Yoshe Wiseman was indeed dead. "Want to come and examine the bruise on Doctor Travis's forehead?"

Jesse felt like a small child "Nah, its all right guys. It's fine really"

"If you say so Jesse, but all the same - " Warren tried to insist.

"I'm fine" Jesse snapped, the events of the past hour beginning to take their toll.

"Well, okay, but I suggest you take a lie down, get some rest"

"Thanks" Jesse said brusquely, knowing that the older doctor meant well, he just didn't have any idea what was going on inside Jesse's head. "I suppose I'd better take my chance, the police'll be knocking on my door before long!" he joked sarcastically and began to walk up the pathway to his apartment block, taking one last look at the scene – it would stay imprinted on his brain, branded there as the mark of his failure.

* * * *

The police came and went, asking questions and generally making Jesse feel like he was the criminal and not the victim. No mention was made of Steve, and Jesse was very worried about him, but way too frightened to actually make contact; something that he was very ashamed of.

Later that evening, he was lying on his couch aimlessly flicking from channel to channel on his television set. A sharp knock on the door almost made him jump off the seat with fright, but he managed to compose himself enough to get up and answer the door.

Steve Sloan stood in the doorway, a look of utter desolation in his face and his eyes registered shock and – and anger!

"S-Steve" Jesse said weakly, not knowing what to say to his best friend. "I-I uh, do you want to come in?"

Steve looked at him as if he had just said something ridiculous, but he stepped inside regardless. "I'm not staying long, I just wanted to come over and ask you in person!" He snarled.

"Steve w-what -?" Jesse stuttered, absolutely bewildered.

"I wanted to ask you if you were glad! Glad that you ruined my one chance of happiness!" Tears streamed down his face as he stared at Jesse with complete unabashed hatred.

Jesse knew that Steve was riddled with grief, but he couldn't shake the urge to burst into tears himself. Did Steve think that he wasn't already beating himself up over what happened? "Steve, you – you got it all wrong! I tried to save her I - "

"Oh spare me your excuses Jesse! This is entirely your fault! You took away the love of my life! I will never forgive you for this! If I could, I'd arrest you for culpable homicide, but the Captain says it wasn't your fault!" He laughed sarcastically. "I heard you hit your head! I hope it hurt nearly as much as you hurt me Jesse!"

With that he stormed out leaving a confused and devastated Jesse Travis behind him.

To Be Continued…