Sorry it's taking me so long to update, it's just that I have quite a few fics I'm working on here, so, you'll just have to be patient… sorry! But I want to thank those of you who've reviewed so far: SiriousB1, Chibi-chan, Joebddn, inuluvr45, Tyri Dragonite, Sessha's Crazy, fairyfurby, d2k3001, awaitingchange, BlackSaiyan1, Fire Demond, Bubblegumkitsune, Beefy Baka, Rachel, Sakura Butterfly, Kagome Goddess of Light, Dogover-111591, Neko-Jinx, CasinoChao412, I OWN ALL, EVIL1, and Chris C. [I think that's everyone… sorry if I left you out!]
Thanks for all of your support! (sniff)
Oh and, I've come up with a new format… I think I can be more descriptive this way.
On with the random Naraku insaness!
When we last saw Naraku, he was battling an 'evil' field of Daffodils.
Kanna: I think Master Naraku has lost it…
Kagura: Oh yeah.
Now, hours later, Naraku has some how ended up in the parlor of his Black Castle, surrounded by his two 'favorite' incarnations.
"AHHHH! EVIL MUFFIN!!" Screamed Naraku, jolting up from the couch he was laying on.
"Master Naraku…" Kanna asked in her natural quiet tone, "are you… feeling alright?" Naraku looked around. How did I get in the parlor…? The black-haired demon silently questioned. Naraku heaved a slight sigh. Everything that had happened earlier was a gentle blur. All that he could recall was some jargon about an evil muffin… whatever that meant.
However…
"I think that sedative worked, Kagura." Kanna whispered into her sister's ear.
"See, what did I tell you? I knew that would calm him down." Kagura stated. Kanna nodded, then walked into the parlor where her master lay. My plans are all turning out… Kagura thought sinisterly. Just a few more sedatives and…
"Kagura!" Naraku bellowed from the parlor. "What are you doing?"
"N-Nothing!" Kagura stated nervously. "Nothing at all, my Lord!" Heheheheheh…
Later That Afternoon…
Naraku still lie on the couch in the parlor famished.
Just what's wrong with me…? I feel so tired… The half-demon pondered. Just then, Kanna walked in carrying a huge, cardboard box. Kagura lifted her head in curiosity.
"What's that, Kanna?" The wind sorceress asked curiously as she motioned to the large cardboard box that Kanna was holding.
"Oh… this?" Kanna said as she set the box on the floor before the other two. "I don't know… the authoress sent it."
"Rumiko?" Kagura and Naraku said unison as they narrowed their eyes.
"If it's from her it can't be good." Kagura stated.
"Well, I am curious to know what it is," Naraku said, "Kagura, open it."
"Yes, Master Naraku." Kagura said rolling her eyes.
So The Demons Opened The Box That The Authoress Had Sent Them…
"It's a…"
"…a toaster."
"Why would the authoress send a toaster?" Naraku asked inquisitively. Kanna then began to read the note that had been attached to the peculiar gift.
"What's it say, Kanna?" Kagura asked peeking over the small child's shoulder.
"Apparently," Kanna said in a low, whispering voice so that only Kagura could hear, "they don't have any greeting cards for 'sorry that your evil demon lord went completely psycho over a small confectionery treat', so, she sent us this toaster." Naraku lifted his head.
"Really?" Kagura asked scratching her head. "I thought this was a kind of 'everyday' thing"
"Yeah, me too--"
"What are you two whispering about?" Demanded Naraku.
"Uh, oh nothing!" Kagura and Kanna said in unison. Their Lord raised an eyebrow.
"Really?"
"Yes! Really!"
"…Alright."
Reassuring Their Lord That They Were Not Plotting Anything Dangerous, Kagura and Kanna Continued Their Hushed Conversation.
"Kagura…" Kanna began, "It also says 'hope you can use this to torment Naraku so that you're able to--"
"What does the note say?" Naraku asked suspiciously.
"It uhhh…."
"Ummm…."
"Well?"
"Uhh…"
"It says that…"
"Hm?"
"Uhhh…."
"How about some toast!?" Kagura piped cheerfully.
"Y-Yes!" Kanna said. "That sounds like a great idea!"
So, the two girls plugged in the toaster and put in two slices of toast. However, due to the fact that Kagura and Kanna both needed to 'wash their hair', they had to leave Naraku Alone… With The Toaster. -Dramatic Pause-
Naraku sat quietly, eagerly waiting for his toast to be ready.
POP!
"Yayy!" Naraku shouted out in delight. Then he suddenly stopped himself. Wait… evil demon overlords do not shout out in glee… Naraku cleared his throat.
"Ahem! I mean. 'Excellent, my toast is ready.'" Naraku sinisterly tapped his fingers together, reached for his toast, but then quickly drew his hand back.
"OUCH!!!!" He shouted out in pain. "STUPID TOASTER!! You burnt my finger!!"
Strike 1…
After the evil demon had finished sucking on his poor, burnt finger for several moments, he decided to take out his toast and eat it.
"Mmmm…" Naraku said, sniffing the air, "the room has already been engulfed in the delicious aroma of burnt toast."
"BURNT TOAST!?!?"
Naraku stared at his burnt toast. How could it…. But I… wait…. AARGH!!! YOU STUPID TOASTER!!!!!!!! Naraku thought ferociously as he threw his burnt toast against the one of the many walls in the parlor.
Strike 2…
Naraku stood up.
"What am I going to eat now?" Naraku said standing up, stretching. Just then, he smelled something else burning, and quickly turned around.
"Hmm? What's that--" The sight that Naraku then beheld was simply terrifying.
"My… My…. My…. My…"
"MY HIGH QUALITY EXPENSIVE BABOON CLOAK!!!!!!" The demon shouted out in terror as he watched his beloved baboon hide become burnt to a crisp. However, that was not all. Next to his now flaming cloak was his deluxe kit of make-up (including his prized purple eye-shadow) also engulfed in a sea of flames.
Strike 3! Naraku's sanity is outta here! (sorry, that was lame and uncalled for…)
Naraku panicked.
"My cloak! My make-up!" he shouted. "My sanity!" Just then Naraku began to scratch at the closest wall, trying to climb up it.
Then, it all came back to him.
Now I remember! The half-demon thought, The muffin, the daffodils, Kagura's sinister scheme… it's all come back to me!!
Naraku turned to face the now flaming toaster.
That's why Kagura and the quiet one left the room! So I could become burned alive by the evil toaster!!! That evil wind sorceress probably used her mind control powers to make the sweet, quiet one obey her every command!! THAT EVIL WENCH!!!!!!
Naraku glared at the toaster.
"I KNOW YOUR PLAN KAGURA!!!!!!!!!!" Naraku howled. Then, he summoned up all of his powers and let out a blinding, white light towards the toaster. The room set a blaze.
"Master Naraku!" Kanna cried as she ran into the room with Kagura not too far behind her, "are you alright?!" The platinum-haired girl called out over the sea of flames.
"Look!" Kagura shouted as she pointed to an insane Naraku as he danced about crazily in the flames, "there he is!"
"We… we have to do something!" Kanna stated as she looked towards Kagura, who was smiling sinisterly.
My plan is working…
Meanwhile…
"HahahahaHAHAHAhaha!!" Naraku laughed as he spun about in the flames. Just then, he heard the warped, distorted voices of his two incarnations.
He turned his head to look at them.
"MORE TOASTERS!!!!" He cried out, summoning up his demonic powers. Even though the two voices were indeed those of his two incarnations, he was too… well…too 'insane' to notice that the voices belonged to them, so he only saw two floating toasters in their place.
"DIE!!!!!!"
Back to Kanna and Kagura…
"DIE!!!!!!" They heard their Lord shout out as he hurled a huge ball of flames towards them.
"He's, he's…"
"RUN!!" Kagura yelled as she grabbed Kanna by the collar of her snow-white kimono and dragged her out of the fiery parlor.
Back to Naraku….
"HOW COULD I MISS!?" He cried out in confusion as he watched the two floating toasters retreat. He turned around, then he saw something that greatly disturbed him.
The single toaster, the same one that had burned his finger, toast, cloak and make-up was still sitting where it had been left.
In all of it's toaster perfect-ness.
"UAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naraku cried out as he aimlessly blasted around the room with his demonic powers, laughing insanely.
But no matter where he blaster, how much he blaster, or how he blasted… the toaster still lied there in all of it's toaster perfect-ness.
This drove Naraku even more insane. (if that's even possible)
He rushed over to the toaster, picked it up and repeatedly bashed it into his head, shouting "Die!" with every bash. And soon, the toaster lie dismantled on the floor….
Covered in Naraku's blood.
"It's dead… hahahahaha…" Naraku said, clutching the massive, bleeding concussion on his head. The evil demon overlord then crouched himself into a fetal position and began to rock back and forth within the fortress of bright orange flames, softly humming a rather deranged tune.
Well, that's it for this insane chapter.
Kanna: Rumiko, do you think Master Naraku is ever going to become his normal self again?
Hmmm, I don't know Kanna… I guess we'll just have to wait for the next chapter-- Naraku VS. A Bed.
Kagura: …A bed?
In a psycho ward.
Kagura: Ohhhh, okay, it makes more sense now.
Well, don't forget to review! -insert reviewing instructions from the first chapter here- I'll try to post the next chappie as quickly as possible!