Olivia pushed open the doors of the station and sent them crashing into the wall. She perused the faces that she has worked with all these years. She didn't see the familiar smiles that greeted her. Tension and emotions were running high. Words hung on the tips of their tongues, but nobody dared to utter a word.
Olivia gave a fleeting look towards the closed door. "Is he in there?"
"Yes," Cragen said carefully, "he says he knows you and..."
"I know; Elliot has filled me in on all of the details," she said without any feeling. "According to Elliot, we are old friends and lovers and I'm shielding him from prison." Elliot looked away painfully. "I might as well go in there now. We have lots to catch up on, right?" She made a point at looking at every person in the room and stopping at Elliot.
"I didn't mean it like that, Olivia," Stabler said heatedly.
"What exactly did you mean?" she asked vehemently. "You basically called me a liar and accused me of protecting the man. Let me make it perfectly clear to everyone in this room." She persisted with a vengeance. "I do not know this man. I don't know what he wants and I resent the fact that not one person has faith in me. I would never protect a rapist under any circumstances. Is that clear?" She brushed past Munch and Tutuola without looking at them. She breezed by Stabler as if he didn't exist.
"Be careful in there. We don't know what he's capable of," Cragen told her firmly.
"Oh, now you tell me to be careful. Thanks but I think I've already figured it out," Olivia spat at him. "What do you care? You think I'm guilty."
"That's not true! It took us by surprise!" Cragen said defensively. "I'm worried that a guy like this even knows you and...."
Olivia held up her hand to stop him. "Save it for someone who believes you. You're worried about your reputation. You can't have one of your detectives sleeping with the enemy." She studied each person as if she had just seen their true colors for the first time. "Did it occur to anyone to just ask me instead of condemning me?" The troubled silence spoke volumes.
"I guess not," she said sadly.
99
She turned the knob on the door and it opened easily. She stepped into the room. She saw Jacob standing in the corner. His smile sent chills down her spine. She regained her composure and sat in a chair. She wanted to get this over with. It shouldn't take long. She had never seen him before. As they studied each other from a distance, Olivia couldn't help but notice a familiar sense about him. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt that somehow, they really were connected. She tossed her thoughts aside. She had nothing in common with this man.
"Why do you want to talk to me? I don't even know you," she stated.
He moved closer to her. He wanted to drink in every feature, every movement she made. He was fascinated by her features. "You have his eyes," Jacob said knowingly, "so do I."
She gave him a strange look. "I don't have a lot of time."
"Neither do I," Jacob chuckled, "that's why I need your help."
She racked her brain trying to figure out where she'd seen him. She couldn't help but notice his facial features and build. He resembled someone she had seen before, perhaps in her younger years or college. How would he know how to find her?
"I can't help you," she simply stated. "You're a rapist. Why would I help you?"
He put his hands on hers and it frightened her. She pulled back her hands as if they had been burnt by a flame. "You have to help me, Olivia." He smirked. "I'm like family."
She became enraged by his comment. How dare he compare her to the one part of her family who has loved her and cared for her? "I have a mother and that is all!" she blurted out.
"That's not true. You have a father also," Jacob prompted waiting for her response.
"He's dead," she snapped.
Jacob frowned at her biting words. "That's a lie. He's very much alive and we both know it." His face became dark. "Have you visited him lately? He's a shell of a man. He basically has nothing to live for cooped up in that room—waiting to die."
"A father is supposed to love and care for his child. A father is supposed to nurture, take care of and help his child grow. He has done none of those things. He deserves to die," she alleged coldly.
Her icy words cut him to the bone. "You have definitely inherited his stubbornness. When he gets set in his ways, he can't be persuaded either," Jacob said, aggravated. "I still can't get him to talk sometimes." She was giving Jacob the impression that she could care less about her father. He refused to let that happen.
"I told him I would make sure the world would remember him even if his own flesh and blood despised him." His voice rose drastically, "You are like him in so many ways. I can see a resemblance."
"After what he's done, he can rot in there. The world is a better place without him," Olivia retorted.
"That's not a nice thing to say about your father, Olivia," Jacob muttered.
"Nice? Why should I be nice? He hates me. He didn't even want me to live! He tried to kill my mother and failed. As far as I'm concerned, he's a failure at everything," Olivia growled nastily.
Jacob shook his head compellingly. "You have it all wrong. He does care about you. He can't show it. He doesn't know how."
"Why do you care about this man? Why are you so worried that I hate my father? You act like you are his son!" Olivia yelled.
"I am."
These two little words carried a strong force. Now she realized why he seemed so familiar to her. It slapped her in the face. He was her half brother. Her life came crashing down around her. The protective wall she spent years building around her past crumbled into dust.
"That's right, big sister. They couldn't catch him as you know and he walked away a free man. He was a good boy for a while, but his desires were too strong. He struck again about twenty years ago and here I am!" he noted proudly.
Olivia couldn't speak. She was thunderstruck.
He stood up and turned in all directions wanting everyone to take a good look at him. "Like father, like son! I'm like him in every way—and I do mean every way as you all found out." He cackled. "I have to keep up the family tradition. He is proud of me, I'm sure." There was a threatening silence between them.
"Now, Olivia, since you are family, you have to help me out of here. It's your duty as his daughter to help your brother," he insisted.
"I will do no such thing!" she shrieked. "You deserve prison! He may have gone free, but I can make sure you don't!"
Jacob chortled, "There you go again; trying to be something you're not. I don't know why you fight us. You are a part of us, Olivia! His blood runs through your veins the same way it does in mine!
"I'm not like either one of you!" Olivia snarled furiously.
"Oh, you hide it well; you keep it under the surface where nobody can see it. But sooner or later, your desires—our desires—will come bubbling up to the surface," Jacob drawled with a light sneer. "His blood flows through you. You can't deny him—deny us—forever. You will join me in fulfilling our father's legacy, Olivia."
She couldn't bear to hear anymore. She jolted to her feet, knocking over the chair, and sprinted out of the room. Stabler, leaning against the wall, reached out to grab her by the arm before she left.
"Olivia, I—"
But Olivia wouldn't hear any of it from anyone. She ignored him completely and brushed him aside. She removed his voice from her mind. She threw the door open and ran. She just ran. She didn't want to think about what that hideous man said to her. Maybe if she ran long enough, the nightmares would disappear and leave her be.
99
Olivia positioned herself on a rock and stared into the dark, starry sky. The morning sky came alive with an array of bright pinks. They blended flawlessly with the blues from the night sky. The brilliant pink colors began to fade away slowly giving way to a bright, blue sky. Olivia loved to come to this secret place when she was upset. It helps subdue her fears. She couldn't quite achieve that today. She was too upset and scared.
Stabler pulled up and saw her sitting in her usual spot watching the fluffy clouds pass by. He came up beside her and sat down. Neither one spoke for a few minutes.
"He's right. His blood does flow through my veins," Olivia whimpered.
"That doesn't make you a bad person. You can't be blamed for your father's deeds," Stabler told her reassuringly.
"What if I am capable of such things? What if he's right? What if I show my true colors?" she babbled frantically.
"You aren't trained to be that way, Olivia. You were raised by a loving mother. She chose to have you. She chose to raise you. That should tell you something," he stated evenly.
"It tells me that I should have never been born. Look at what she has created—another monster like them." A tear slid down her cheek.
"Isn't it ironic?" she continued. "I jumped down your throat because of the things you've done in the past and here I am—related to killers. You can't beat that. I guess Jacob put me in my place, didn't he?"
Stabler let out a long sigh. "You are simply not programmed to do these things. They do it because they want to. You could never do that. Deep down, you know that."
I don't know anything right now. I'm terrified that I will turn out like them sooner or later. My genetics will deceive my one day. Sometimes I'm so full of rage that it scares me. What if they are already in me—just waiting to burst out at any moment? What if I can't help myself?" She started to tremble. "What if I end up like them?"
Stabler took her hand in his. "You could never end up like them. You are full of love and goodness. Nobody can take that away from you as long as you don't let them. Evil is all they know and they try to change anyone who isn't like them. Your love is evil to them. They will try to break you down, but you won't let them.
"We all need you on our side, Olivia. We couldn't bear to lose you. Your mother needs you. She needs your strength. It gets her out of bed every morning. My children look up to you. They want to be just like you when they grow up. Your love, power, and will to live radiate to all who are around you. You have spent your whole life locking up guys like them. Don't let them win! You literally have their lives in your hands and Jacob knows it. He has to convince you to join him. His life depends on it. That's how he got to you. Use your power! End it right here, right now. Stand up to him and squash his ticket to freedom. Let him know you will not allow him to follow in your father's footsteps. You want revenge on your father? Stop his son! Stop this madness so you can attain the peace you've wanted for so many years! The violent cycle continued with Jacob, but ends with you."
Olivia smiled faintly. "You always know what to say, don't you?"
"Not always," Stabler said regretfully. "I said some mean things to you earlier and I'm so sorry. I should have trusted you. I felt so ashamed. I felt empty when you walked out on me. There was a void left that could only be filled by you," he told her truthfully.
"I don't blame you for being wary of the situation. Nobody could have predicted this," she admitted.
She stood up and brushed the dirt off of her. "I guess I know what I have to do"—she peered over at him and smiled—"my job."
Olivia gave a fleeting look towards the closed door. "Is he in there?"
"Yes," Cragen said carefully, "he says he knows you and..."
"I know; Elliot has filled me in on all of the details," she said without any feeling. "According to Elliot, we are old friends and lovers and I'm shielding him from prison." Elliot looked away painfully. "I might as well go in there now. We have lots to catch up on, right?" She made a point at looking at every person in the room and stopping at Elliot.
"I didn't mean it like that, Olivia," Stabler said heatedly.
"What exactly did you mean?" she asked vehemently. "You basically called me a liar and accused me of protecting the man. Let me make it perfectly clear to everyone in this room." She persisted with a vengeance. "I do not know this man. I don't know what he wants and I resent the fact that not one person has faith in me. I would never protect a rapist under any circumstances. Is that clear?" She brushed past Munch and Tutuola without looking at them. She breezed by Stabler as if he didn't exist.
"Be careful in there. We don't know what he's capable of," Cragen told her firmly.
"Oh, now you tell me to be careful. Thanks but I think I've already figured it out," Olivia spat at him. "What do you care? You think I'm guilty."
"That's not true! It took us by surprise!" Cragen said defensively. "I'm worried that a guy like this even knows you and...."
Olivia held up her hand to stop him. "Save it for someone who believes you. You're worried about your reputation. You can't have one of your detectives sleeping with the enemy." She studied each person as if she had just seen their true colors for the first time. "Did it occur to anyone to just ask me instead of condemning me?" The troubled silence spoke volumes.
"I guess not," she said sadly.
99
She turned the knob on the door and it opened easily. She stepped into the room. She saw Jacob standing in the corner. His smile sent chills down her spine. She regained her composure and sat in a chair. She wanted to get this over with. It shouldn't take long. She had never seen him before. As they studied each other from a distance, Olivia couldn't help but notice a familiar sense about him. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt that somehow, they really were connected. She tossed her thoughts aside. She had nothing in common with this man.
"Why do you want to talk to me? I don't even know you," she stated.
He moved closer to her. He wanted to drink in every feature, every movement she made. He was fascinated by her features. "You have his eyes," Jacob said knowingly, "so do I."
She gave him a strange look. "I don't have a lot of time."
"Neither do I," Jacob chuckled, "that's why I need your help."
She racked her brain trying to figure out where she'd seen him. She couldn't help but notice his facial features and build. He resembled someone she had seen before, perhaps in her younger years or college. How would he know how to find her?
"I can't help you," she simply stated. "You're a rapist. Why would I help you?"
He put his hands on hers and it frightened her. She pulled back her hands as if they had been burnt by a flame. "You have to help me, Olivia." He smirked. "I'm like family."
She became enraged by his comment. How dare he compare her to the one part of her family who has loved her and cared for her? "I have a mother and that is all!" she blurted out.
"That's not true. You have a father also," Jacob prompted waiting for her response.
"He's dead," she snapped.
Jacob frowned at her biting words. "That's a lie. He's very much alive and we both know it." His face became dark. "Have you visited him lately? He's a shell of a man. He basically has nothing to live for cooped up in that room—waiting to die."
"A father is supposed to love and care for his child. A father is supposed to nurture, take care of and help his child grow. He has done none of those things. He deserves to die," she alleged coldly.
Her icy words cut him to the bone. "You have definitely inherited his stubbornness. When he gets set in his ways, he can't be persuaded either," Jacob said, aggravated. "I still can't get him to talk sometimes." She was giving Jacob the impression that she could care less about her father. He refused to let that happen.
"I told him I would make sure the world would remember him even if his own flesh and blood despised him." His voice rose drastically, "You are like him in so many ways. I can see a resemblance."
"After what he's done, he can rot in there. The world is a better place without him," Olivia retorted.
"That's not a nice thing to say about your father, Olivia," Jacob muttered.
"Nice? Why should I be nice? He hates me. He didn't even want me to live! He tried to kill my mother and failed. As far as I'm concerned, he's a failure at everything," Olivia growled nastily.
Jacob shook his head compellingly. "You have it all wrong. He does care about you. He can't show it. He doesn't know how."
"Why do you care about this man? Why are you so worried that I hate my father? You act like you are his son!" Olivia yelled.
"I am."
These two little words carried a strong force. Now she realized why he seemed so familiar to her. It slapped her in the face. He was her half brother. Her life came crashing down around her. The protective wall she spent years building around her past crumbled into dust.
"That's right, big sister. They couldn't catch him as you know and he walked away a free man. He was a good boy for a while, but his desires were too strong. He struck again about twenty years ago and here I am!" he noted proudly.
Olivia couldn't speak. She was thunderstruck.
He stood up and turned in all directions wanting everyone to take a good look at him. "Like father, like son! I'm like him in every way—and I do mean every way as you all found out." He cackled. "I have to keep up the family tradition. He is proud of me, I'm sure." There was a threatening silence between them.
"Now, Olivia, since you are family, you have to help me out of here. It's your duty as his daughter to help your brother," he insisted.
"I will do no such thing!" she shrieked. "You deserve prison! He may have gone free, but I can make sure you don't!"
Jacob chortled, "There you go again; trying to be something you're not. I don't know why you fight us. You are a part of us, Olivia! His blood runs through your veins the same way it does in mine!
"I'm not like either one of you!" Olivia snarled furiously.
"Oh, you hide it well; you keep it under the surface where nobody can see it. But sooner or later, your desires—our desires—will come bubbling up to the surface," Jacob drawled with a light sneer. "His blood flows through you. You can't deny him—deny us—forever. You will join me in fulfilling our father's legacy, Olivia."
She couldn't bear to hear anymore. She jolted to her feet, knocking over the chair, and sprinted out of the room. Stabler, leaning against the wall, reached out to grab her by the arm before she left.
"Olivia, I—"
But Olivia wouldn't hear any of it from anyone. She ignored him completely and brushed him aside. She removed his voice from her mind. She threw the door open and ran. She just ran. She didn't want to think about what that hideous man said to her. Maybe if she ran long enough, the nightmares would disappear and leave her be.
99
Olivia positioned herself on a rock and stared into the dark, starry sky. The morning sky came alive with an array of bright pinks. They blended flawlessly with the blues from the night sky. The brilliant pink colors began to fade away slowly giving way to a bright, blue sky. Olivia loved to come to this secret place when she was upset. It helps subdue her fears. She couldn't quite achieve that today. She was too upset and scared.
Stabler pulled up and saw her sitting in her usual spot watching the fluffy clouds pass by. He came up beside her and sat down. Neither one spoke for a few minutes.
"He's right. His blood does flow through my veins," Olivia whimpered.
"That doesn't make you a bad person. You can't be blamed for your father's deeds," Stabler told her reassuringly.
"What if I am capable of such things? What if he's right? What if I show my true colors?" she babbled frantically.
"You aren't trained to be that way, Olivia. You were raised by a loving mother. She chose to have you. She chose to raise you. That should tell you something," he stated evenly.
"It tells me that I should have never been born. Look at what she has created—another monster like them." A tear slid down her cheek.
"Isn't it ironic?" she continued. "I jumped down your throat because of the things you've done in the past and here I am—related to killers. You can't beat that. I guess Jacob put me in my place, didn't he?"
Stabler let out a long sigh. "You are simply not programmed to do these things. They do it because they want to. You could never do that. Deep down, you know that."
I don't know anything right now. I'm terrified that I will turn out like them sooner or later. My genetics will deceive my one day. Sometimes I'm so full of rage that it scares me. What if they are already in me—just waiting to burst out at any moment? What if I can't help myself?" She started to tremble. "What if I end up like them?"
Stabler took her hand in his. "You could never end up like them. You are full of love and goodness. Nobody can take that away from you as long as you don't let them. Evil is all they know and they try to change anyone who isn't like them. Your love is evil to them. They will try to break you down, but you won't let them.
"We all need you on our side, Olivia. We couldn't bear to lose you. Your mother needs you. She needs your strength. It gets her out of bed every morning. My children look up to you. They want to be just like you when they grow up. Your love, power, and will to live radiate to all who are around you. You have spent your whole life locking up guys like them. Don't let them win! You literally have their lives in your hands and Jacob knows it. He has to convince you to join him. His life depends on it. That's how he got to you. Use your power! End it right here, right now. Stand up to him and squash his ticket to freedom. Let him know you will not allow him to follow in your father's footsteps. You want revenge on your father? Stop his son! Stop this madness so you can attain the peace you've wanted for so many years! The violent cycle continued with Jacob, but ends with you."
Olivia smiled faintly. "You always know what to say, don't you?"
"Not always," Stabler said regretfully. "I said some mean things to you earlier and I'm so sorry. I should have trusted you. I felt so ashamed. I felt empty when you walked out on me. There was a void left that could only be filled by you," he told her truthfully.
"I don't blame you for being wary of the situation. Nobody could have predicted this," she admitted.
She stood up and brushed the dirt off of her. "I guess I know what I have to do"—she peered over at him and smiled—"my job."