Well, I still haven't gotten many reviews for this story, but I am still
going to post it anyway for the hell of it. I know the last chapter wasn't
very sitcom'ish, but the rest will be, I think. By the way, this chapter is
a long one, so you might wanna grab some popcorn or something. -HC85
Disclaimer: We don't own YYH, just our OC's
*actions* , 'thoughts'
Ch. 3 Pacifier Found!
The Spirit Detectives are out in Makai searching high and low for Koenma's missing pacifier. They have stumbled upon Tonik, the equally wild twin brother of Jin the Wind Master. What could this mean for Team Urameshi? Do you really wanna know? Hahahaha I thought so!
Tonik: So, enough 'bout Jin and m'self, I'd like to know what your lot is up to, romping about in my home n' such?
Kuwabara: *To Kurama* What did he just say?
Yusuke: Uh right, we're really buisy searching for something.
Tonik: Oh really? Be it another lost Spirit Treasure no doubt!
Hiei: Yes, now shut up and go away!
Tonik: Oh...well aren't you the cheerful one today. *Goes to hit hit Hiei (The friendly kind of hit) on the back, but instead nails him on the back of the head* Chill out and enjoy yourself, it's a lovely night!
Audience: HAHAHAHA!
Kuwabara: Why does that voice keep following us?!
Hiei: *Reaches for his sword* Why you...
Kohana: *Snicker snicker*
Kurama: *Wispers* Hiei, not now. We're too buisy
Yusuke: Well, we better get going on our mission now. See ya!
Tonik: Leavin' so soon, wouldn't ya like to stay for a drink or somthin'?
Kuwabara: By "a drink" do you mean alcohol?
Tonik: *Rolls his eyes* No lad, plain s'mple water.... of course I mean whiskey n' such! It isn't jus' the Irish humans who love to party after all! *Whiskey In The Jar starts playing out of no-where. (A good Irish folk song)*
Yusuke: 'Hmm free boose?' Well, now that you mention it, we could stay for just a little while...
Tonik: Well now! That's the spirit!
Kohana: Hn, we really don't have time for this you losers. Besides I don't drink.
Ai: Yeah you do!
Kohana: NO I DON'T!
Ai: Oh what? You don't remember the last party you were at?
--------------- A few months ago -------------
The gang went to an unsupervised party at one of Yusuke and Kuwabara's friends house. Kohana is in the middle of the room dressed in a grass skirt, coconut bra, Bruger King crown, and platform shoes. Eminem's "8 Mile" song is playing.
Kohana: Whooooo doggy!!! I love this song! LET'S ALL DISCO!! *She starts dancing the monkey*
All of the guys there except for Hiei are hooting and cheering. They start yelling "Take it off." Kohana reaches for the back of her bra.
Ai: Uh Hiei, you better go stop you girlfriend before something regretable happens.
Hiei: Hn, what do you expect me to do?
Ai: Uh, distract her. Get her to do something to take her mind off of becoming a stripper in front of a bunch of highschool perverts.
Hiei: That's sick! I am not going to do that here!
Ai: Whoa! TMI! I didn't need to know what's on your mind!
The crowd starts cheering madly as Kohana's bra goes flying across the room.
Hiei: *Staring intently* Hmmmmmm....
Ai: *Sigh* Too late. This is one thing she won't wanna remember... How could anyone get this smashed after just a few Rum and Cokes?
------------------------------------------------
Kohana: I-I totally forgot about that!
Tonik: So, what about it? Would ya like to stay for a bit?
Kohana: NO, no! W-we don't have time for any of this nonsense! Ha ha! *Pushes everyone away* Mabey some other time we can all get together and uh... party! *mumbles* yeah right, I'll never do that again. We'll se you later Tunic!
Tonik: It's Tonik. Alrighty then, I'll se y'all later! Bye
And so our group continues their trip through Makai. They are tired, frustrated, hungry, and ready to hurt eachother.
Yusuke: *Singing* Musha ring dum a doo dum a da Whack foe my daddy-o Whack foe my daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar.
Botan: I don't know how much more of this torutre I can take.
Yusuke: *Still singing* I counted all my money, and it made a pretty penny I put it in my pocket and I gave it to my Jenny
Hiei: Yusuke, shut up before I rip your lungs out.
Yusuke: *You guessed it, still singing* She signed and she swore that she never would decieve me, but the devil take some women 'cause they never can be easy
Kurama: *Grabs Yusuke by the shirt collar* Shut up! Damn you! Shut up before I kill you!
Everyone: *Blink blink*
Kurama: *Lets go of Yusuke*Ahem, shall we continue?
Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kuwabara: *Makes a fist* I'm gonna get you, you whimpy laughing voices!
Ai: I new he'd snap like that some day.
Kohana: *Hugs Kurama* Oh, I'm so proud of you! Just when I though that you've reformed too much!
Hiei: *Scoffs* It's not that big of a deal...
Kuwabara: *Stops looking for the voices* What Hiei? Are you jelous?
Kohana: Get over it Hiei. dishonest creep.
Hiei: I am not a dishonest creep! And I am over you, you weren't anythink that special anyway.
Kohana: Oh, So even I'm not good enough for a born reject like you?!
Hiei: Hn!
Kohana: Just don't talk to me ever again!
Botan: *Nervous* Ok! Let's not get hasty, we've got a pacifier to find.
Yusuke: Oh, shut up Botan! It's not like you're helping us any!
Botan: I beg your pardon! All you've been doing the entire time is complaining and singing us all to death!
Ai: Let's just not talk to eachother and get the damn mission finished.
Kurama: Yes, that sound like a good idea...
Yusuke: Yeah, of course you'd agree! You started it!
Kurama: Me? How did I start this?!
Yusuke: You attacked me!
Kurama: Because you wouldn't stop singing!
Kuwabara: Guys! Somebody's coming!
Yet another gang of rogue demons spring from the bushes. With their weapons drawn, they charge the detectives.
Kohana: *Conjures her Spirit Boomerangs* I'll take care of them
She moves in to make her attack as the demons grow near. Just as she is about to strike, there is a gust of wind and small flashes of light as the demons are slashed into pieces. Kohana stops in her tracks, a look of hatred crosses her face. Arisa is standing amongst the fallen bodies, sword drawn and coverd in blood, and wearing her trademark "I hate everybody" scowl.
Kohana: What the hell! I was going to kill them!
Arisa: *Glares at Kohana* Shove it boomerang bitch. You're too slow and they were in my way.
Kohana: What! Too slow! I'm as fast as you are! You are so dead!
Arisa: Whatever. Let me at least deliver my message from Koenma before you humor me with your futile attemps to hit me with those hunks of Spirit cardboard you call a weapon!
Kohana: Spirit cardboard! I'll show you Spirit cardboard, Bitch!
Yusuke: Just chill out! This could actually be important! Ok Arisa, what's pacifier breath's message.
Arisa: *Whipes off her blade* He said he wants you back at the castle.
Yusuke: Yeah, and?
Arisa: *Resheaths he sword* That's all he said. *She leaves as fast as she came*
Kuwabara: Wow, she's improved on her conversation skills. She's almost as nice as Hiei.
Hiei: Shut up Kuwabara.
Yusuke: That's stupid, why did he send her to find us, just to say that he wants us back? Why didn't he just send Botan?
Botan: Probably because I'm right here already!
Kurama: Let's just get back to Spirit World and see what he wants.
The Spirit Detectives travel back to Koenma's castle and troop into his office. He is still sitting behind his desk in teenage form looking rather distraught. Mile high stacks of paper work cover his desk and the surrounding floor space.
Yusuke: Ok Koenma, what the hell do you want now?!
Koenma: Oh good, you're back. There is evidence that my pacifier never left the Spirit World. There have been no illegal Spirit World entries for over 24 hours. So, if my pacifier is outside of Spirit World, it must have been one crafty thief.
Kuwabara: What's you're point?
Koenma: I want you to scower Spirit World until it is found....
Ogre: *Comes running in with the pacifier in hand* Koenma sir! Koenma sir! We found it!
Koenma: My pacifier! *Takes it from Ogre and puts it in his mouth*
Ogre: I wouldn't do that just yet Koenma sir.
Koenma: Why not?
------------ A few hours ago---------------
Koenma is walking down a hallway in his teenage form. He goes past a mirror, stops quickly and runs back to it. After checking to see that nobody is around he snickers and pulls out his pacifier and sets it on a table benieth the mirror and starts making faces infront of the mirror.
Ogre: Koenma sir! There you are! What are you doing?
Koenma: *Stops and turns around quickly, accidentally knocking his pacifier off the table* N-nothing. I was just making sure my hair wasn't all messy. Now what do you want.
Another Ogre goes running by in a hurry, kicking the fallen pacifier down the hallway.
Ogre: You have tons of paper work in your office that needs stamping.
Koenma: *Sigh* Ok, *Starts to leave, then stops and looks at the table and notices his pacifier is missing* Ogre! What did you do with my pacifier!
Ogre: Nothing Koenma Sir, why?
The pacifier conitnues bouncing down the hallway, occasionally getting kicked by an Ogre of Fairy Girl as they run by. As an Ogre comes out of the Ogre's mens room, the pacifier rolls through the door before it closes
Koenam: Because it's missing that's why!
Ogre: Maybe it fell of the table while you were making faces in the mirror.
Koenma: *Looking under the table* I was not making faces in the mirror! My pacifier was stolen! Alert security! Tell Botan to get Yusuke and the others here NOW!
-----------------------------------------------
Ogre: Because it was found behind a tiolet in the Ogre's mens room!
Koenma: *Turns green in the face and spits out his pacifier* Aaahhhh! Excuse me!! *He bolts out of the office*
Audience: HEHEHEHEHE!
Kuwabara: Why am I the only one who ever hears these voices!
Hiei: Because, they want to kill you.
Kuwabara: Huh, they do?
Yusuke: Stupid! All that and the damn thing was in a stupid bathroom the whole time!
Kurama: This whole mission was absurd. Let's just go home. I'm tired and I want to forget this whole mission ever happened.
Ai: Me too
Kohana: I just wanna ge the hell out of here before I murder that brat!
After a long day, the Detectives return home for some rest and reconsiliation. But what sort of adventures await them at their retreat that they call "home", in a sitcom where everything goes wrong, and when the authors of the sitcom are socially declaired insane? You'll have to wait to find out in the next chapter of Yu Yu Hakusho Sitcom Style.
Disclaimer: We don't own YYH, just our OC's
*actions* , 'thoughts'
Ch. 3 Pacifier Found!
The Spirit Detectives are out in Makai searching high and low for Koenma's missing pacifier. They have stumbled upon Tonik, the equally wild twin brother of Jin the Wind Master. What could this mean for Team Urameshi? Do you really wanna know? Hahahaha I thought so!
Tonik: So, enough 'bout Jin and m'self, I'd like to know what your lot is up to, romping about in my home n' such?
Kuwabara: *To Kurama* What did he just say?
Yusuke: Uh right, we're really buisy searching for something.
Tonik: Oh really? Be it another lost Spirit Treasure no doubt!
Hiei: Yes, now shut up and go away!
Tonik: Oh...well aren't you the cheerful one today. *Goes to hit hit Hiei (The friendly kind of hit) on the back, but instead nails him on the back of the head* Chill out and enjoy yourself, it's a lovely night!
Audience: HAHAHAHA!
Kuwabara: Why does that voice keep following us?!
Hiei: *Reaches for his sword* Why you...
Kohana: *Snicker snicker*
Kurama: *Wispers* Hiei, not now. We're too buisy
Yusuke: Well, we better get going on our mission now. See ya!
Tonik: Leavin' so soon, wouldn't ya like to stay for a drink or somthin'?
Kuwabara: By "a drink" do you mean alcohol?
Tonik: *Rolls his eyes* No lad, plain s'mple water.... of course I mean whiskey n' such! It isn't jus' the Irish humans who love to party after all! *Whiskey In The Jar starts playing out of no-where. (A good Irish folk song)*
Yusuke: 'Hmm free boose?' Well, now that you mention it, we could stay for just a little while...
Tonik: Well now! That's the spirit!
Kohana: Hn, we really don't have time for this you losers. Besides I don't drink.
Ai: Yeah you do!
Kohana: NO I DON'T!
Ai: Oh what? You don't remember the last party you were at?
--------------- A few months ago -------------
The gang went to an unsupervised party at one of Yusuke and Kuwabara's friends house. Kohana is in the middle of the room dressed in a grass skirt, coconut bra, Bruger King crown, and platform shoes. Eminem's "8 Mile" song is playing.
Kohana: Whooooo doggy!!! I love this song! LET'S ALL DISCO!! *She starts dancing the monkey*
All of the guys there except for Hiei are hooting and cheering. They start yelling "Take it off." Kohana reaches for the back of her bra.
Ai: Uh Hiei, you better go stop you girlfriend before something regretable happens.
Hiei: Hn, what do you expect me to do?
Ai: Uh, distract her. Get her to do something to take her mind off of becoming a stripper in front of a bunch of highschool perverts.
Hiei: That's sick! I am not going to do that here!
Ai: Whoa! TMI! I didn't need to know what's on your mind!
The crowd starts cheering madly as Kohana's bra goes flying across the room.
Hiei: *Staring intently* Hmmmmmm....
Ai: *Sigh* Too late. This is one thing she won't wanna remember... How could anyone get this smashed after just a few Rum and Cokes?
------------------------------------------------
Kohana: I-I totally forgot about that!
Tonik: So, what about it? Would ya like to stay for a bit?
Kohana: NO, no! W-we don't have time for any of this nonsense! Ha ha! *Pushes everyone away* Mabey some other time we can all get together and uh... party! *mumbles* yeah right, I'll never do that again. We'll se you later Tunic!
Tonik: It's Tonik. Alrighty then, I'll se y'all later! Bye
And so our group continues their trip through Makai. They are tired, frustrated, hungry, and ready to hurt eachother.
Yusuke: *Singing* Musha ring dum a doo dum a da Whack foe my daddy-o Whack foe my daddy-o, there's whiskey in the jar.
Botan: I don't know how much more of this torutre I can take.
Yusuke: *Still singing* I counted all my money, and it made a pretty penny I put it in my pocket and I gave it to my Jenny
Hiei: Yusuke, shut up before I rip your lungs out.
Yusuke: *You guessed it, still singing* She signed and she swore that she never would decieve me, but the devil take some women 'cause they never can be easy
Kurama: *Grabs Yusuke by the shirt collar* Shut up! Damn you! Shut up before I kill you!
Everyone: *Blink blink*
Kurama: *Lets go of Yusuke*Ahem, shall we continue?
Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kuwabara: *Makes a fist* I'm gonna get you, you whimpy laughing voices!
Ai: I new he'd snap like that some day.
Kohana: *Hugs Kurama* Oh, I'm so proud of you! Just when I though that you've reformed too much!
Hiei: *Scoffs* It's not that big of a deal...
Kuwabara: *Stops looking for the voices* What Hiei? Are you jelous?
Kohana: Get over it Hiei. dishonest creep.
Hiei: I am not a dishonest creep! And I am over you, you weren't anythink that special anyway.
Kohana: Oh, So even I'm not good enough for a born reject like you?!
Hiei: Hn!
Kohana: Just don't talk to me ever again!
Botan: *Nervous* Ok! Let's not get hasty, we've got a pacifier to find.
Yusuke: Oh, shut up Botan! It's not like you're helping us any!
Botan: I beg your pardon! All you've been doing the entire time is complaining and singing us all to death!
Ai: Let's just not talk to eachother and get the damn mission finished.
Kurama: Yes, that sound like a good idea...
Yusuke: Yeah, of course you'd agree! You started it!
Kurama: Me? How did I start this?!
Yusuke: You attacked me!
Kurama: Because you wouldn't stop singing!
Kuwabara: Guys! Somebody's coming!
Yet another gang of rogue demons spring from the bushes. With their weapons drawn, they charge the detectives.
Kohana: *Conjures her Spirit Boomerangs* I'll take care of them
She moves in to make her attack as the demons grow near. Just as she is about to strike, there is a gust of wind and small flashes of light as the demons are slashed into pieces. Kohana stops in her tracks, a look of hatred crosses her face. Arisa is standing amongst the fallen bodies, sword drawn and coverd in blood, and wearing her trademark "I hate everybody" scowl.
Kohana: What the hell! I was going to kill them!
Arisa: *Glares at Kohana* Shove it boomerang bitch. You're too slow and they were in my way.
Kohana: What! Too slow! I'm as fast as you are! You are so dead!
Arisa: Whatever. Let me at least deliver my message from Koenma before you humor me with your futile attemps to hit me with those hunks of Spirit cardboard you call a weapon!
Kohana: Spirit cardboard! I'll show you Spirit cardboard, Bitch!
Yusuke: Just chill out! This could actually be important! Ok Arisa, what's pacifier breath's message.
Arisa: *Whipes off her blade* He said he wants you back at the castle.
Yusuke: Yeah, and?
Arisa: *Resheaths he sword* That's all he said. *She leaves as fast as she came*
Kuwabara: Wow, she's improved on her conversation skills. She's almost as nice as Hiei.
Hiei: Shut up Kuwabara.
Yusuke: That's stupid, why did he send her to find us, just to say that he wants us back? Why didn't he just send Botan?
Botan: Probably because I'm right here already!
Kurama: Let's just get back to Spirit World and see what he wants.
The Spirit Detectives travel back to Koenma's castle and troop into his office. He is still sitting behind his desk in teenage form looking rather distraught. Mile high stacks of paper work cover his desk and the surrounding floor space.
Yusuke: Ok Koenma, what the hell do you want now?!
Koenma: Oh good, you're back. There is evidence that my pacifier never left the Spirit World. There have been no illegal Spirit World entries for over 24 hours. So, if my pacifier is outside of Spirit World, it must have been one crafty thief.
Kuwabara: What's you're point?
Koenma: I want you to scower Spirit World until it is found....
Ogre: *Comes running in with the pacifier in hand* Koenma sir! Koenma sir! We found it!
Koenma: My pacifier! *Takes it from Ogre and puts it in his mouth*
Ogre: I wouldn't do that just yet Koenma sir.
Koenma: Why not?
------------ A few hours ago---------------
Koenma is walking down a hallway in his teenage form. He goes past a mirror, stops quickly and runs back to it. After checking to see that nobody is around he snickers and pulls out his pacifier and sets it on a table benieth the mirror and starts making faces infront of the mirror.
Ogre: Koenma sir! There you are! What are you doing?
Koenma: *Stops and turns around quickly, accidentally knocking his pacifier off the table* N-nothing. I was just making sure my hair wasn't all messy. Now what do you want.
Another Ogre goes running by in a hurry, kicking the fallen pacifier down the hallway.
Ogre: You have tons of paper work in your office that needs stamping.
Koenma: *Sigh* Ok, *Starts to leave, then stops and looks at the table and notices his pacifier is missing* Ogre! What did you do with my pacifier!
Ogre: Nothing Koenma Sir, why?
The pacifier conitnues bouncing down the hallway, occasionally getting kicked by an Ogre of Fairy Girl as they run by. As an Ogre comes out of the Ogre's mens room, the pacifier rolls through the door before it closes
Koenam: Because it's missing that's why!
Ogre: Maybe it fell of the table while you were making faces in the mirror.
Koenma: *Looking under the table* I was not making faces in the mirror! My pacifier was stolen! Alert security! Tell Botan to get Yusuke and the others here NOW!
-----------------------------------------------
Ogre: Because it was found behind a tiolet in the Ogre's mens room!
Koenma: *Turns green in the face and spits out his pacifier* Aaahhhh! Excuse me!! *He bolts out of the office*
Audience: HEHEHEHEHE!
Kuwabara: Why am I the only one who ever hears these voices!
Hiei: Because, they want to kill you.
Kuwabara: Huh, they do?
Yusuke: Stupid! All that and the damn thing was in a stupid bathroom the whole time!
Kurama: This whole mission was absurd. Let's just go home. I'm tired and I want to forget this whole mission ever happened.
Ai: Me too
Kohana: I just wanna ge the hell out of here before I murder that brat!
After a long day, the Detectives return home for some rest and reconsiliation. But what sort of adventures await them at their retreat that they call "home", in a sitcom where everything goes wrong, and when the authors of the sitcom are socially declaired insane? You'll have to wait to find out in the next chapter of Yu Yu Hakusho Sitcom Style.