CHAPTER THREE: So Bleed

I want to thank all of my reviewers!! I love each and every one of you! And, I always feel guilty when someone reviews my stuff if I haven't reviewed theirs - so, tell me if you would like me to read your story! I'd love to!!

Oh, and it turns out - we don't get report cards until January 13th! Yay!

Tuesday morning was my chance, and I knew I would have to make it last me an eternity, when I only have about ten minutes. Maybe fifteen at tops. I told Parvati and Lavender I was going to go to the Infirmary and question Harry. Ask him what he truly thought about me - since he was obliged to tell the truth as his complete opposite. And what was best - he wouldn't remember me asking about it afterwards!

So, they once again put me on their pedestal, and examined my hair, make up, and clothing. "Hermione, I don't think there is much for you to do . . . You look great in blue - but if Harry didn't notice *last* time, what's the sense in doing it again?"

I looked at the floor. "Well - when he began telling me the truth - you know - the way he felt about me . . . He said I was beautiful. He only didn't want to say anything before because . . . I was acting too . . . clingy." and I hated my eyes! They betray me all the time! I can't lie, with them, or it will show!

Parvati smiled then, one big enough to swallow her beautiful face. "Okay . . . Maybe you need to get *more* elegant. Harry likes you when your *beautiful* he did *not* say you were sexy. So, subconsciously, that means he isn't looking for a girlfriend who wear *revealing* clothing. He wants a pretty one. A grand one . . . But you don't want him to know you are dressing for him, am I right?" I nodded, feeling oh so guilty about all of this. "Okay then . . . maybe we should consult Lavender about this."

And I left their room wearing a beautiful, tight fitting around the waist, blue robe. It looked casual, so I didn't stand out in the crowd, but it also looked elegant. So I *did* stand out.

Madame Pomfrey let me in, but *only* because I told her I was giving them their homework, and because I had already seen them before. "But I must warn you. They still are not themselves. They still have a bosom to them, which slowly reduces every minute r so. And, once they *look* like they are normal, they still will not *act* themselves until tomorrow. And, if they start yelling at you again like they did last night - I will throw you out, and you will not be allowed back here unless *you* are sick." and with that, I was allowed to visit my best friend, and my worst enemy.

The looked so calm, laying there in their beds, small smiles on their faces as they read muggle magazines. Draco preferred Seventeen, whilst Harry was reading Redbook. It was also funny - the magazines were American ones.

"Hello, Draco," I said, sitting down in the chair beside him . . . er - *her*

She looked at me for a moment, and then made a grunt of disgust noise. "I know who you are. You're that girl who visited last night, aren't you?" her eyes travelled from my face to the low neckline of my dress. "Not bad. Though, you *do* annoy me to no end. It's funny. *She* annoyed me too, until we started talking. She's really a nice girl." Draco pointed at Harry.

"What's that, Dracola?" Harry asked, in a voice that was almost as feminine as Draco's.

"Nothing Harriet!" he turned to me, his eyes so beautifully innocent. "You know, she's really a very annoying girl. Once she starts talking it's hard to get her to quit. She wanted to talk *all night* but I put my foot down after three in the morning. A girl has got to get her beauty sleep, you know."

I smiled, forcefully. It didn't look like I'd get any answers from the *real* Draco, until his chest had disappeared. Or he began acting more like himself. "I know."

"Now . . . explain to me again, why you came?"

And I managed to stay until their chests were gone, and they no longer looked female. "Draco - do you like me?" I blurted. "Is there any hope for us to get together in the future?"

He looked at me again. "If their is, it's very small right now."

And that was all I needed to know. I'd make it work.

I *had* to make it work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I joined Ron for breakfast then, and rested my head on his shoulder. "Oh, Ron, I'm exhausted."

He blushed all over, it seemed. "That's nice . . . Hey, what's going on with Harry? I heard he and Malfoy got into a fight in the corridor outside the library - and that you witnessed it . . . So - " his face was oh, so eager.

"No. I will not tell you. All that you need to know is - that if it happened to you - you would hate it. And you wouldn't like for me to tell anyone about it . . ." his facial features appeared crestfallen. "Oh, Ron - think of it was - I'm protecting *you*."

He scowled. "Oh yes. Since it's *actually Harry* then I can just *pretend* it's me. I mean, we are exactly the same." and how jealous he seemed right then.

It would be easy for anyone but me to see the bad qualities in Ron. I did know he was very stubborn, and didn't notice he was as good at some things as he actually was, and he *did* seem to get upset over nothing sometimes - but that was all. He was extremely handsome. Over the fifth year summer - he had transformed from the awkwardly tall, slim red headed that he was, to someone who was almost the exact opposite. His skin had always been fair, but now that his hair had grown darker - almost a black - it really brought out the colour in his eyes. Now, he wasn't so skinny as before - he had built into his height. His arms were so . . . *muscly* and now he had greatly defined abs. He looked better than Harry did now - only everyone liked Harry a little more - because of his fame. Always the fame.

And Draco - he was very beautiful in a too pale - too blonde - too angry way. I wasn't sure on how he looked better . . . Nobody was . . . but . . . there was just *something* about him.

"Ron, I love you both the *same* and you should know it! . . . I just . . . Harry's a little more on the . . . *more* side. As more than a friend - but you are more of a friend. To *me*." it ended so lamely, I could have slapped myself.

And then, darned if that red headed fool didn't try to kiss my lips! I turned my head just at the last moment. Maybe it was dumb - but I would save my first kiss for someone whom I loved. Just as I would save everything*else* on me. It was quiet unheard of, I was sure. being sixteen and never kissing a soul . . .

Ron appeared frightened he had tried to do what he had thought about since the third year at Hogwarts, and mumbled an apology, before excusing himself to go to do homework. "Ron!" I cried, rushing to grab his arm. "I think you are *very* special . . ." and it was a morbid lie for me - but he took it the right way all the same.

"Then maybe . . ." and he no longer spoke, but blushed furiously.

"Um . . . sure . . ." and then I let go and looked away. They can see through my lies. Maybe they've known I liked Malfoy all along, and were waiting to see how long it took for me to admit it to them. "Ron . . . I have something to tell you . . . Meet me . . . I dunno, in the Common Room around three tomorrow morning . . . But promise me you will not hate me for this. It has to do with . . . the person I like . . . And I'm afraid you will hate me -"

He grinned. "Oh, 'Mione, I've known all along."

"You did?"

"Yeah! I was just waiting for you to come out . . . I'm glad you're confided in me instead of Harry."

"How long have you known?"

"Oh . . . since fourth year, I assume." he took my fingers and laced them with his, as I uncomfortably squirmed in his grip. "You don't have to be uncomfortable. When you were always hugging on Harry and kissing on him and confiding in him - I was jealous - even *when* I knew the truth. But, I got over it. I noticed you kept glancing at the Slytherin table at Malfoy . . . And you wanted to get back at him . . ."

"Ron? I didn't -"

"If you are a lesbian and in love with Revine, I'm okay with that."

And my jaw dropped through the floor. "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!" I cried, before rushing down the corridor, my face turning bright red. How many people had heard?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draco was back to his normal self that afternoon. At least, he *looked* himself. And, he spoke in his nromal voice, as well. "Hello, Dracola," said I, bringing him roses. The flowers he had said he loved when he was himself. Of course, he didn't know I had heard him - but I did. "I believe that roses make your skin look so . . . beautiful."

He looked up at me, that same anger in his eyes. I almost believed he was himself, but Madame Pomfrey had warned me he wasn't yet. Even though he did look and sound it. She was throwing away tons of tissues at that point, for Harry and he both had been crying everything they had held inside for so long. "Hello . . . Hermione . . ." and he smiled at me, something that made my knees weak, even though I knew it was his woman speaking. "How did you know that I liked roses?"

"I . . . you told me . . ."

"Did I?" he fingered one thoughtfully. "Listen, Gran - Hermione. People have been coming by a lot more and more. I know I am in Slytherin, and people would not approve of you coming to see me. And - I think that you should just forget about being my friend while I'm in here. Because once I leave, it will be back to normal. Why get your hopes up?"

"Are you okay?" I questioned. He didn't seem himself . . . *herself*

"Look," he snapped. "Granger. Stop liking me. I don't like you. I never have. I never will. You make me *sick*, okay? You're a filthy Mudblood and I would never love you!"

He *was* himself. That was why it was all going wrong. Madame Pomfrey had miscalculated. "I do not want for you to love me!" I cried. "I don't even want you to like me! I only wanted to bring you flowers and make up for the humiliation you'll be receiving when you go back to school!"

"Stop lying Granger! You like me! I see it in your eyes. I even fucking hear it in your voice. GET OVER ME -"

"Draco . . ." I was wounded. So wounded. The only hope I had been living off of was fake.

"You'd be my whore," he said, smiling. "I'd use you over and over again. You'd only be good for *one* thing, Granger. Remember that. Remember that when you're at home crying your eyes out." he then kissed my forehead softly. Giving my a tiny drop of love - something he didn't recognize he was giving me. "But thank you. For caring."

And I stood up, hurting all over, my forehead numbing. "Fine . . . I'll go . . . Goodbye, Draco . . ."

And I left. Did as he said. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

JOURNAL ENTRY

And, that was basically how my day went. I don't believe he would say it. I don't believe Ron could think I was gay. I don't believe that he actually said something nice *and* kissed me . . . I don't *want* to believe. I hate him. I hate him so much I can barely breathe . . . But my love for him is too strong to break by rejection. How sad for him, for me.

So Bleed: for Malfoy

I love you but it's painful.

But addicting like the blood.

You knew how to take me forever

was to give a drop of love.

I'm like a vampire now.

Waiting to get more.

And as long as I'm so WILLING

I'll always be your whore.