Divine Interference
Chapter Five
Posted:
Author's notes:
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"One down, one to go." Buffy sighed as she, Dawn and Willow left a bit later. Joyce was enraptured with her granddaughter, even though she wouldn't admit it.
"Are you sure you want to do Riley today? It's sorta late."
"I wanna get it over with. Besides that I want to do a quick sweep of the campus."
"Buffy! You just got out of the hospital! You just gave birth three days ago!"
"Do you think vampires are really going to care? A slayer can't exactly take maternity leave."
"What about Angel?"
"I asked him to stay away from Riley, which should mean he'll stay away from campus. Hopefully. I really don't want to see him right now."
"So, Hamilton it is, then."
~ * ~
"Is Riley Finn here?" She asked when some unknown guy opened the door. Since the Initiative had been closed, the frat house had turned into a regular frat, including guys she didn't know. But no demony worship. She made sure of that.
He looked her up and down, then nodded, and let her in. She followed him as far as the stairs, and then went up to Riley's room, where she knocked quietly.
"Go away." She turned the knob and entered. "I said go-" He turned, angry.
"Away. I know."
"Buffy!" he rushed over and took her into his arms. She allowed him to and automatically put her arms around him. "God! I was so worried! Where've you been?" She had a flashback to when she had said the same, but she shook it off. "What happened to you?"
She led him over to the bed, and made him sit down. "You have to calm down first." He made a show of calming his breathing. "Ok." She smiled at him, a hollow smile, but one nonetheless. "This is serious, Riley. Please don't wig on me." She said, concerned, and nervous on how he'd take the news.
"Why would I?" He asked, softly.
She sighed. "Nine months ago, a spell to alter my memory was cast. On me. I didn't find out about it until three days ago."
"Ok. I'm not seeing the big picture here."
"Four days ago, I started getting these really bad muscle...things. Contractions, Riley. I've been pregnant, for the past nine months, and I had no clue, and no idea whose child it was. Who ever wanted me to forget, also covered the signs, too. No signs, no symptoms, no clue." She looked from her lap to him, then back down. "That's where I've been, I was in the hospital, giving birth. And I'm keeping her, Riley. She's mine. My flesh and blood. I don't know her father, and she might not have been conceived out of love, but she's still mine." She looked up at him, through her eyelashes, waiting for the worst.
He just looked at her a moment, speechless. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought-
Then he smiled, shook his head in awed amazement, and put his arms around her, drawing her close.
"You aren't mad, or...anything?" she asked, too scared to hope.
"I'm shocked, yeah. But I don't know anyone else who could take this in stride, Buffy. You are the most remarkable woman I've ever known. And I know you can do this." She smiled into his chest.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"So, do I get to meet her?" He asked, pulling away from her, so he could see her face.
"Yeah, if you want. She's with Will right now. And Phae. Come on." She took his hand and led him out of the room.
"Phae?"
~ * ~
Buffy was up just about every hour that night, to feed Dawn. After the first two interruptions, Willow did a soundproofing spell, around her bed, so she could sleep. Buffy didn't blame her. Sometimes the baby didn't want to be fed, just held, but Buffy was too young and naive to know yet what each cry meant. Phae was there, but not much help. She left just around midnight, with no explanation. She wouldn't hear of Buffy not feeding her child.
The last time she woke, it was just before 3 a.m. and she was exhausted. Even a slayer couldn't manage this type of pace. After getting the child back to sleep, she fell across the bed, asleep before she landed.
She woke at just before dawn, confused, and frightened. Why hadn't Dawn woken her again? It had been...over an hour!
She sat up, shaking the dizziness away as the blood rushed to her head. What she saw stopped her dead.
Angel was standing in the middle of the room, rocking Dawn. Buffy heard her baby gurgle, and her heart started to beat once more.
He looked up and saw her sitting there. "Hi. I was in the neighborhood, and I could hear her crying outside. I figured you were exhausted, and Willow must have put up a no sound spell. You didn't revoke my invitation, so . . . . ."
"You decided to come help me out." She looked at him, almost contemplatively.
"I'm sorry if that offend you, but I figured that you'd need help."
"No, not that."
"What then?"
"I was just thinking how nice it was, to wake up, and see you, with her." She looked down at her hands, in her blanketed lap, embarrassed. She picked at a loose thread. He walked over and sat on the bed near her. He stared at her, until she looked up at him.
"I like you liking waking up with me here. I like being here, with you, and with her." He said, repositioning the child so he could place a hand on hers. She flinched. "Sorry."
"Don't be. It's just . . . . . Everything is so different, Angel. You're in LA, I'm here. You have your team, your calling, while I have mine. I have Riley..." Angel bristled. "Don't. Please."
"I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you with him. With anyone."
"But you?"
"Yeah." He said quietly.
"We've tried us, Angel. And we tried again." She looked at him, eyes wide, and he almost thought he saw a glimmer of tears. "You left me, standing there, in the middle of everything, and you never said goodbye. So I moved on with my life. I'm 19, Angel. My life is finally on track. Sure, I now have another life that is dependant on me, but I'm doing all right for myself. And Riley really cares for me. And he wants to be there for Dawn. He can be here for Dawn. She needs a father, Angel-"
"He's 21, Buffy! He's not going to want to be saddled with a child!"
"Well, I didn't exactly get a choice in the matter, now did I?" He sighed, knowing it was his entire fault.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" her curiosity was peaked. She didn't think he was talking about her life being upset.
"For...reminding you." He looked down at their sleeping child, then up at her gorgeous mother. "I'm saddened to say that I am now as taken with her, as I am with her mother." He waited for her to get it. "I want to be here, not just for her, but for both of you."
She slowly nodded, but then looked out the window. "The sun is rising. You'd better get going." She looked as unhappy about it as he felt.
"Yeah, I guess." He passed her the child. He stood, and she followed him to the door. "I sorta like your arms full." He said, stepping closer, and tipping her chin up for a kiss. She complied without thinking- it just felt so right having him kiss her. She stepped closer, leaning into him, to deepen the kiss, but Dawn squawked at the tight corners, and she broke it off, turning away, but she was smiling.
"Bad baby." He murmured.
"I'll see you later." He kissed her quickly.
"Definitely." He gave her a smile, one of those that used to melt her heart by sight, and slipped out the door. She sighed and leaned against it. Why did things have to be so damn complicated?
~ * ~
Willow went to class, while Buffy took Dawn to Giles, for research. He was delighted to see the infant, in his own, British way.
After classes, Willow informed her of her, 'extended illness,' and then caught her up on notes and helped her with homework. Then she ran to the local Magic Shop, to see if any books there might be able to cast some light on their mystery.
No pun intended.
After Sunset, Angel came around, mostly to stare after Buffy and to dote on Dawn, but he did chip in and do his part of the research. Giles at first was unhappy to have him there, but he saw how happy it made Buffy, so he allowed it. At nine, Buffy left Dawn with Willow, and she and Angel went out to do a quick sweep of town, before Dawn needed to be fed again.
That night, Angel stayed at Giles' to research through the night, but Willow and Buffy took Dawn home to sleep. They came back early Saturday, and Willow had come up with a spell. They set up, Angel with some wariness, and while Giles and Angel looked after Dawn, Willow and Buffy started the spell.
"Let the slayer see
What used to be
Let her memory fix
Let the smokes mix." She lit two candles, one blue, for awareness, and a white one, for protection.
"When the clock strikes the hour
I call upon the power
To let her see
What she needs to see." She chanted, while she and Buffy sat in the middle of a sacred circle she had constructed. Buffy had been instructed to sit quietly, and meditate, while Willow did all the hard work. At first, nothing happened. Then, Willow felt a resistance to her spell. So she pushed harder. Finally, something snapped, but maybe that wasn't such a good thing. She was thrown out of the circle, and lay on Giles' floor, breathing heavily.
Angel rushed over to her, and once Buffy opened her eyes, she did as well. "Will! Are you ok? Speak to me!"
"That spell was . . . .awesome!" She breathed, slowly sitting up, with Angel's aid. "Someone definitely doesn't want you knowing what you were supposed to forget, Buffy."
"If they wanted me to know, then I probably wouldn't have forgotten." She told her friend, smiling. "Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah. I have a really bad headache, though. I had to push, on whoever did that spell. They're strong willed, but nobody's more stubborn than I." She smiled. "Giles, do you have any aspirin?"
"Uh, yes. One second." He rushed off to the bathroom, with Dawn in his arms.
~ * ~
"So, have you remembered yet?"
"No. Nothing." Buffy pouted.
"Seriously? I know that something worked. I felt something snap!"
"Are you sure that wasn't you? You're not looking too hot."
"This headache is awful! Maybe some rest will do me good." Willow got up from her spot on the floor, and started getting ready for bed. It had been all day since Willow had done that spell, and had the headache. But Buffy couldn't remember anything she hadn't before. She sighed, and got Dawn ready for bed, rocking her, then setting her in the beat up, second hand crib Willow had gone out and bought before Buffy had come back to the dorm. Of course, being the smart witch as she was, she had also put up sound proofing spells around the room, so as not to disturb their neighbors.
Once her baby was settled, Buffy climbed into bed, and turned off the lights.
The digital numbers on the clock by her bedside switched to 9:00, pm.
"Night, Will."
"Night Buffy. Night Dawnie!"
When Buffy closed her eyes, she was sound asleep. The grueling schedule of mother, slayer, and student was taking its toll on her, both mind and body. Now that she was asleep, the memories she was trying so hard to remember could bubble to the surface.
It was just flashes and thoughts. The Mohra demon. Blood on Angel's hand, mixing with his. Kissing in the sunlight. Making out on the table. Being carried to the bed. Eating ice cream and other goodies in bed. Fighting a demon. Crying, clinging to him. White blankness. The words, "I'll never forget!" came to her. And then she and Angel, standing in his office, when the Mohra demon came crashing through. He killed it, and she left. Then Angel holding her baby.
She woke in a drenching sweat, confused. She looked at her clock, and then scrambled out of bed.
She walked down the street, Dawn finally back asleep in the little pouch carrier thing Willow had found when she had gone baby shopping for her. If she knew him at all, then she knew where he was.
She found him right where she expected, sitting by a fire in the mansion, never mind that it was hotter than hell outside. Well, maybe not, she'd never been to hell.
"What does Mohra blood do, Angel?" She startled him. He had been deep in thought, and he jumped up at her voice. "And don't lie to me."
"Buffy, what are you doing here? It's the middle of the night!"
"Tell me what it does!" she yelled at him.
He sighed. He knew that she knew. "Regenerative properties. Can even bring the dead back to life."
She just stared. She had no idea. Well, some idea. Something Willow had told her came back to her, 'I knew it! Well, not as if I had the slightest idea, but I knew something was up!'
"Why did you tell me?! You knew, didn't you?! And why don't I remember?!" she was beyond reasoning with, he saw, but he tried anyway.
"I am the only one who remembers that day, because...because I had them redo the day."
"They?"
"The Oracles. They work for the Powers. The Mohra blood made me human. And we talked it over, and then we spent the day together, in bed. And then I got a trace of the Mohra, and I went after it. I almost died. I would have, if you hadn't found me. And you took a beating too. And it said that more were coming. An army was on its way. And I knew that you couldn't do it alone. I couldn't fight, couldn't help you. I was alive, but if you weren't...I couldn't live with myself, Buffy. You life was more important than mine.
"So I went to the Oracles, made them change me back. Redo the whole day. I was the only one who was supposed to remember. But somehow . . . . . whether on purpose, or not, it didn't work right. You got pregnant. And I'm sorry. It's my fault; I messed up your life. I'm sorry. I never meant to harm you in any way. I love you Buffy." He expected her to blow up. Yell, scream, holler. But she didn't. She deflated, almost collapsed in on herself. He rushed over to her, and helped her sit down, careful not to jostle Dawn.
"She...she was a product of love?"
"Yes. She was a product of love. She still is." She rested her head against his chest, and closed her eyes, trying to block out the knowledge. But it didn't help. Her mind was free to let loose the memories, and that's what it did. She saw it all. Fighting with him, almost sleeping with him in the tunnel, stopping herself. The tension, as they split up. The pure joy, as she saw him walking towards her, and that kiss. The long, awkward silences, the even awkwarder talks. Jumping on him, him throwing everything on the table to the floor. Their hours in bed together. Watching him go and get stuff from the fridge, eating it right there in the bed, who cares about crumbs?
His long absence, the literal pain of being away from him. His decision. Her reaction. Clinging to him, kissing him, telling him she'd never forget. She couldn't. A minute wasn't long enough. She could actually feel his heart beneath her hand one last time. And then the white. And then back to what she really remembered.
She couldn't take it anymore. She broke down crying. Everything she had wished for, everything she had wanted...ripped away from her. She had even dreamt of having kids with him, one day, but she had never thought that he'd still be a vampire. Her body still quivered, from time to time, to be touched like he had touched her. Riley was great, but nobody could touch her like Angel could. And now she had the memories of how he had.
He held her, rocking her gently, as she cried her heart and soul out. She didn't quiet for a long time, and he kissed her hair, and just held her, rocking her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she cried. Finally, her sobs lessened, and her breathing calmed, and she slept.
He lifted her, and the sleeping infant on her chest, and carried her to the makeshift bed he had set up for himself. He laid her on it, and undid the straps securing their child to her. He was gentle, and neither stirred, as he adjusted the straps and put the contraption on himself. Buffy shivered, and he wrapped her in a blanket.
He then grabbed one for himself, and sat on the floor, across from the bed, where he could watch her. He wrapped the blanket mostly around Dawn; he did not need the added warmth. Just having her on top of him kept him warmer than he had in a long time.
She swam up through the warmth at around 2 a.m. Something was calling her, forcing her to wake up. She tried to roll it off, but it was insistent. As she got closer to consciousness, she realized it was a baby crying, that woke her. Then she remembered Dawn.
She sat up, putting her arms across her chest, to find the baby gone. She opened her eyes, and searched franticly for her child. What she found made her smile. Angel sat on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, with a crying Dawn on his chest. He was asleep, and she guessed he was dead to the world, literally. She climbed out of the bed, and crept over, sitting beside them. She tried to sooth her child, but she was hungry and cold.
She was careful to unwrap the child, and found that she was in her pouch thing. She fought with that, and finally got her out. She sat on the bed, and began to feed her child.
As Angel slept, he was aware of very few things. One of those few was Buffy scent, and another was the scent of his daughter, and her warmth against his chest. Sometime during the night, Buffy scent got stronger, and then the warmth left him, and the scents moved farther away. It was when his body temperature leveled with the cold stone floor did he wake up. He could smell both his daughter, and her mother still in the room, and also the smell of mother's milk.
He stood up slowly. The good thing about being dead was limbs didn't fall asleep on you. He saw her back, and heard the noise of suckling. He walked over to the bed, and sat behind her. She started at the shift of the bed, and he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He shifted positions, and she leaned against his chest. She sighed inaudibly, as she sat with her true love, and their daughter.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Review please!
Chapter Five
Posted:
Author's notes:
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"One down, one to go." Buffy sighed as she, Dawn and Willow left a bit later. Joyce was enraptured with her granddaughter, even though she wouldn't admit it.
"Are you sure you want to do Riley today? It's sorta late."
"I wanna get it over with. Besides that I want to do a quick sweep of the campus."
"Buffy! You just got out of the hospital! You just gave birth three days ago!"
"Do you think vampires are really going to care? A slayer can't exactly take maternity leave."
"What about Angel?"
"I asked him to stay away from Riley, which should mean he'll stay away from campus. Hopefully. I really don't want to see him right now."
"So, Hamilton it is, then."
~ * ~
"Is Riley Finn here?" She asked when some unknown guy opened the door. Since the Initiative had been closed, the frat house had turned into a regular frat, including guys she didn't know. But no demony worship. She made sure of that.
He looked her up and down, then nodded, and let her in. She followed him as far as the stairs, and then went up to Riley's room, where she knocked quietly.
"Go away." She turned the knob and entered. "I said go-" He turned, angry.
"Away. I know."
"Buffy!" he rushed over and took her into his arms. She allowed him to and automatically put her arms around him. "God! I was so worried! Where've you been?" She had a flashback to when she had said the same, but she shook it off. "What happened to you?"
She led him over to the bed, and made him sit down. "You have to calm down first." He made a show of calming his breathing. "Ok." She smiled at him, a hollow smile, but one nonetheless. "This is serious, Riley. Please don't wig on me." She said, concerned, and nervous on how he'd take the news.
"Why would I?" He asked, softly.
She sighed. "Nine months ago, a spell to alter my memory was cast. On me. I didn't find out about it until three days ago."
"Ok. I'm not seeing the big picture here."
"Four days ago, I started getting these really bad muscle...things. Contractions, Riley. I've been pregnant, for the past nine months, and I had no clue, and no idea whose child it was. Who ever wanted me to forget, also covered the signs, too. No signs, no symptoms, no clue." She looked from her lap to him, then back down. "That's where I've been, I was in the hospital, giving birth. And I'm keeping her, Riley. She's mine. My flesh and blood. I don't know her father, and she might not have been conceived out of love, but she's still mine." She looked up at him, through her eyelashes, waiting for the worst.
He just looked at her a moment, speechless. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought-
Then he smiled, shook his head in awed amazement, and put his arms around her, drawing her close.
"You aren't mad, or...anything?" she asked, too scared to hope.
"I'm shocked, yeah. But I don't know anyone else who could take this in stride, Buffy. You are the most remarkable woman I've ever known. And I know you can do this." She smiled into his chest.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"So, do I get to meet her?" He asked, pulling away from her, so he could see her face.
"Yeah, if you want. She's with Will right now. And Phae. Come on." She took his hand and led him out of the room.
"Phae?"
~ * ~
Buffy was up just about every hour that night, to feed Dawn. After the first two interruptions, Willow did a soundproofing spell, around her bed, so she could sleep. Buffy didn't blame her. Sometimes the baby didn't want to be fed, just held, but Buffy was too young and naive to know yet what each cry meant. Phae was there, but not much help. She left just around midnight, with no explanation. She wouldn't hear of Buffy not feeding her child.
The last time she woke, it was just before 3 a.m. and she was exhausted. Even a slayer couldn't manage this type of pace. After getting the child back to sleep, she fell across the bed, asleep before she landed.
She woke at just before dawn, confused, and frightened. Why hadn't Dawn woken her again? It had been...over an hour!
She sat up, shaking the dizziness away as the blood rushed to her head. What she saw stopped her dead.
Angel was standing in the middle of the room, rocking Dawn. Buffy heard her baby gurgle, and her heart started to beat once more.
He looked up and saw her sitting there. "Hi. I was in the neighborhood, and I could hear her crying outside. I figured you were exhausted, and Willow must have put up a no sound spell. You didn't revoke my invitation, so . . . . ."
"You decided to come help me out." She looked at him, almost contemplatively.
"I'm sorry if that offend you, but I figured that you'd need help."
"No, not that."
"What then?"
"I was just thinking how nice it was, to wake up, and see you, with her." She looked down at her hands, in her blanketed lap, embarrassed. She picked at a loose thread. He walked over and sat on the bed near her. He stared at her, until she looked up at him.
"I like you liking waking up with me here. I like being here, with you, and with her." He said, repositioning the child so he could place a hand on hers. She flinched. "Sorry."
"Don't be. It's just . . . . . Everything is so different, Angel. You're in LA, I'm here. You have your team, your calling, while I have mine. I have Riley..." Angel bristled. "Don't. Please."
"I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you with him. With anyone."
"But you?"
"Yeah." He said quietly.
"We've tried us, Angel. And we tried again." She looked at him, eyes wide, and he almost thought he saw a glimmer of tears. "You left me, standing there, in the middle of everything, and you never said goodbye. So I moved on with my life. I'm 19, Angel. My life is finally on track. Sure, I now have another life that is dependant on me, but I'm doing all right for myself. And Riley really cares for me. And he wants to be there for Dawn. He can be here for Dawn. She needs a father, Angel-"
"He's 21, Buffy! He's not going to want to be saddled with a child!"
"Well, I didn't exactly get a choice in the matter, now did I?" He sighed, knowing it was his entire fault.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" her curiosity was peaked. She didn't think he was talking about her life being upset.
"For...reminding you." He looked down at their sleeping child, then up at her gorgeous mother. "I'm saddened to say that I am now as taken with her, as I am with her mother." He waited for her to get it. "I want to be here, not just for her, but for both of you."
She slowly nodded, but then looked out the window. "The sun is rising. You'd better get going." She looked as unhappy about it as he felt.
"Yeah, I guess." He passed her the child. He stood, and she followed him to the door. "I sorta like your arms full." He said, stepping closer, and tipping her chin up for a kiss. She complied without thinking- it just felt so right having him kiss her. She stepped closer, leaning into him, to deepen the kiss, but Dawn squawked at the tight corners, and she broke it off, turning away, but she was smiling.
"Bad baby." He murmured.
"I'll see you later." He kissed her quickly.
"Definitely." He gave her a smile, one of those that used to melt her heart by sight, and slipped out the door. She sighed and leaned against it. Why did things have to be so damn complicated?
~ * ~
Willow went to class, while Buffy took Dawn to Giles, for research. He was delighted to see the infant, in his own, British way.
After classes, Willow informed her of her, 'extended illness,' and then caught her up on notes and helped her with homework. Then she ran to the local Magic Shop, to see if any books there might be able to cast some light on their mystery.
No pun intended.
After Sunset, Angel came around, mostly to stare after Buffy and to dote on Dawn, but he did chip in and do his part of the research. Giles at first was unhappy to have him there, but he saw how happy it made Buffy, so he allowed it. At nine, Buffy left Dawn with Willow, and she and Angel went out to do a quick sweep of town, before Dawn needed to be fed again.
That night, Angel stayed at Giles' to research through the night, but Willow and Buffy took Dawn home to sleep. They came back early Saturday, and Willow had come up with a spell. They set up, Angel with some wariness, and while Giles and Angel looked after Dawn, Willow and Buffy started the spell.
"Let the slayer see
What used to be
Let her memory fix
Let the smokes mix." She lit two candles, one blue, for awareness, and a white one, for protection.
"When the clock strikes the hour
I call upon the power
To let her see
What she needs to see." She chanted, while she and Buffy sat in the middle of a sacred circle she had constructed. Buffy had been instructed to sit quietly, and meditate, while Willow did all the hard work. At first, nothing happened. Then, Willow felt a resistance to her spell. So she pushed harder. Finally, something snapped, but maybe that wasn't such a good thing. She was thrown out of the circle, and lay on Giles' floor, breathing heavily.
Angel rushed over to her, and once Buffy opened her eyes, she did as well. "Will! Are you ok? Speak to me!"
"That spell was . . . .awesome!" She breathed, slowly sitting up, with Angel's aid. "Someone definitely doesn't want you knowing what you were supposed to forget, Buffy."
"If they wanted me to know, then I probably wouldn't have forgotten." She told her friend, smiling. "Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah. I have a really bad headache, though. I had to push, on whoever did that spell. They're strong willed, but nobody's more stubborn than I." She smiled. "Giles, do you have any aspirin?"
"Uh, yes. One second." He rushed off to the bathroom, with Dawn in his arms.
~ * ~
"So, have you remembered yet?"
"No. Nothing." Buffy pouted.
"Seriously? I know that something worked. I felt something snap!"
"Are you sure that wasn't you? You're not looking too hot."
"This headache is awful! Maybe some rest will do me good." Willow got up from her spot on the floor, and started getting ready for bed. It had been all day since Willow had done that spell, and had the headache. But Buffy couldn't remember anything she hadn't before. She sighed, and got Dawn ready for bed, rocking her, then setting her in the beat up, second hand crib Willow had gone out and bought before Buffy had come back to the dorm. Of course, being the smart witch as she was, she had also put up sound proofing spells around the room, so as not to disturb their neighbors.
Once her baby was settled, Buffy climbed into bed, and turned off the lights.
The digital numbers on the clock by her bedside switched to 9:00, pm.
"Night, Will."
"Night Buffy. Night Dawnie!"
When Buffy closed her eyes, she was sound asleep. The grueling schedule of mother, slayer, and student was taking its toll on her, both mind and body. Now that she was asleep, the memories she was trying so hard to remember could bubble to the surface.
It was just flashes and thoughts. The Mohra demon. Blood on Angel's hand, mixing with his. Kissing in the sunlight. Making out on the table. Being carried to the bed. Eating ice cream and other goodies in bed. Fighting a demon. Crying, clinging to him. White blankness. The words, "I'll never forget!" came to her. And then she and Angel, standing in his office, when the Mohra demon came crashing through. He killed it, and she left. Then Angel holding her baby.
She woke in a drenching sweat, confused. She looked at her clock, and then scrambled out of bed.
She walked down the street, Dawn finally back asleep in the little pouch carrier thing Willow had found when she had gone baby shopping for her. If she knew him at all, then she knew where he was.
She found him right where she expected, sitting by a fire in the mansion, never mind that it was hotter than hell outside. Well, maybe not, she'd never been to hell.
"What does Mohra blood do, Angel?" She startled him. He had been deep in thought, and he jumped up at her voice. "And don't lie to me."
"Buffy, what are you doing here? It's the middle of the night!"
"Tell me what it does!" she yelled at him.
He sighed. He knew that she knew. "Regenerative properties. Can even bring the dead back to life."
She just stared. She had no idea. Well, some idea. Something Willow had told her came back to her, 'I knew it! Well, not as if I had the slightest idea, but I knew something was up!'
"Why did you tell me?! You knew, didn't you?! And why don't I remember?!" she was beyond reasoning with, he saw, but he tried anyway.
"I am the only one who remembers that day, because...because I had them redo the day."
"They?"
"The Oracles. They work for the Powers. The Mohra blood made me human. And we talked it over, and then we spent the day together, in bed. And then I got a trace of the Mohra, and I went after it. I almost died. I would have, if you hadn't found me. And you took a beating too. And it said that more were coming. An army was on its way. And I knew that you couldn't do it alone. I couldn't fight, couldn't help you. I was alive, but if you weren't...I couldn't live with myself, Buffy. You life was more important than mine.
"So I went to the Oracles, made them change me back. Redo the whole day. I was the only one who was supposed to remember. But somehow . . . . . whether on purpose, or not, it didn't work right. You got pregnant. And I'm sorry. It's my fault; I messed up your life. I'm sorry. I never meant to harm you in any way. I love you Buffy." He expected her to blow up. Yell, scream, holler. But she didn't. She deflated, almost collapsed in on herself. He rushed over to her, and helped her sit down, careful not to jostle Dawn.
"She...she was a product of love?"
"Yes. She was a product of love. She still is." She rested her head against his chest, and closed her eyes, trying to block out the knowledge. But it didn't help. Her mind was free to let loose the memories, and that's what it did. She saw it all. Fighting with him, almost sleeping with him in the tunnel, stopping herself. The tension, as they split up. The pure joy, as she saw him walking towards her, and that kiss. The long, awkward silences, the even awkwarder talks. Jumping on him, him throwing everything on the table to the floor. Their hours in bed together. Watching him go and get stuff from the fridge, eating it right there in the bed, who cares about crumbs?
His long absence, the literal pain of being away from him. His decision. Her reaction. Clinging to him, kissing him, telling him she'd never forget. She couldn't. A minute wasn't long enough. She could actually feel his heart beneath her hand one last time. And then the white. And then back to what she really remembered.
She couldn't take it anymore. She broke down crying. Everything she had wished for, everything she had wanted...ripped away from her. She had even dreamt of having kids with him, one day, but she had never thought that he'd still be a vampire. Her body still quivered, from time to time, to be touched like he had touched her. Riley was great, but nobody could touch her like Angel could. And now she had the memories of how he had.
He held her, rocking her gently, as she cried her heart and soul out. She didn't quiet for a long time, and he kissed her hair, and just held her, rocking her, whispering sweet nothings in her ear as she cried. Finally, her sobs lessened, and her breathing calmed, and she slept.
He lifted her, and the sleeping infant on her chest, and carried her to the makeshift bed he had set up for himself. He laid her on it, and undid the straps securing their child to her. He was gentle, and neither stirred, as he adjusted the straps and put the contraption on himself. Buffy shivered, and he wrapped her in a blanket.
He then grabbed one for himself, and sat on the floor, across from the bed, where he could watch her. He wrapped the blanket mostly around Dawn; he did not need the added warmth. Just having her on top of him kept him warmer than he had in a long time.
She swam up through the warmth at around 2 a.m. Something was calling her, forcing her to wake up. She tried to roll it off, but it was insistent. As she got closer to consciousness, she realized it was a baby crying, that woke her. Then she remembered Dawn.
She sat up, putting her arms across her chest, to find the baby gone. She opened her eyes, and searched franticly for her child. What she found made her smile. Angel sat on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, with a crying Dawn on his chest. He was asleep, and she guessed he was dead to the world, literally. She climbed out of the bed, and crept over, sitting beside them. She tried to sooth her child, but she was hungry and cold.
She was careful to unwrap the child, and found that she was in her pouch thing. She fought with that, and finally got her out. She sat on the bed, and began to feed her child.
As Angel slept, he was aware of very few things. One of those few was Buffy scent, and another was the scent of his daughter, and her warmth against his chest. Sometime during the night, Buffy scent got stronger, and then the warmth left him, and the scents moved farther away. It was when his body temperature leveled with the cold stone floor did he wake up. He could smell both his daughter, and her mother still in the room, and also the smell of mother's milk.
He stood up slowly. The good thing about being dead was limbs didn't fall asleep on you. He saw her back, and heard the noise of suckling. He walked over to the bed, and sat behind her. She started at the shift of the bed, and he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He shifted positions, and she leaned against his chest. She sighed inaudibly, as she sat with her true love, and their daughter.
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