Title: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters and concepts.
After a particularly stressful day at work, Lucius Malfoy decided to take a bath. A nice, long soak in the tub would soothe his nerves and rejuvinate his aching muscles. Lucius kissed his wife, handed his cane and cloak to a house elf, and headed upstairs for the master bathroom.
Dressed in a white bathrobe, Lucius turned on the taps of the luxuriently large tub and waited for it to fill with warm water. What a perfectly rotten day he'd had! That idiot Fudge had lost a very important file dealing with International Magic, and had sent Lucius on a mad treasure hunt all over the building. He'd been forced to exchange discourse with that intolerable Percy Weasley, who'd had the nerve to ask Lucius his opinion on cauldron bottom thickness! With people like Percy and Arthur Weasly in the population the wizarding world had little hope of surviving.
Once his bath was ready, Lucius slid out of his robe and stepped into the marble tub. A stifled giggle startled him plenty, and he whirled around to see the door cracked open. One of Narcissa's bright blue eyes peered in at him.
"Act your age, Narcissa," scolded Lucius, in no mood for silliness of any kind.
"Would you like a drink?" inquired Narcissa, still trying to quell her giggling.
"Yes-fine-leave it downstairs," grumbled Lucius. "I don't want to be disturbed."
Narcissa went on her way, tittering behind her hand. As if she hadn't seen him naked a hundred times already! Lucius slid down into the tub, leaned back, and closed his eyes, basking in the peaceful bliss. An enormous BANG caused Lucius to jolt out of his relaxation mode.
"What the hell was *that*?" he shouted, for he loathed loud abrubt noises.
One of the servents had dropped a metal urn. Lucius threatened to stuff the guilty person inside the urn if he or she disrupted his solitude again. With an exhasperated sigh, Lucius reached over and unfolded the Daily Prophet. That idiot Lockhart had regained his memory. Shame. The fool had written a new book entitled "Me, Myself, and I: Getting To Know Myself...Again." Lucius frowned at Lockhart's grinning picture.
A loud knocking on the bathroom door caused Lucius to drop the newspaper into the water. Cursing, Lucius retrieved the dripping newspaper and demanded the identity of the disrupter.
"Father, I saw this limited edition wizard chess set in Diagon Alley! It has-!"
"I do not care what it has! I am busy. We shall discuss it later," yelled Lucius.
"But father, the figures do this excellent-!"
"Draco, if I have to come out there, I shall be forced to give you a sound thrashing with my cane!"
After several silent moments, Draco's sulky tone apologized and footsteps were heard leaving the bathroom door. In vain, Lucius attempted to read the soggy newspaper, but he soon threw it aside in frustration. Really, the boy was too spoiled for his own good, but Lucius Malfoy would not have his son do without the finer things in life and end up like those deplorable Weasley brats.
Lucius caught snatches of muffled conversation from downstairs. Draco was more than likely badgering Narcissa about that rediculus chess set. When would the boy learn it was futile to go to his mother? Lucius Malfoy controlled the money, and always would. For an instant, Lucius amused himself by picturing Narcissa with complete control of the bank account. Actually, it was pretty frightening. That woman would probably have the entire house done up in pink fluffy, frilly nonsense if Lucius did not exert some form of control over her.
Narcissa's voice broke into Lucius' thoughts. He looked towards the door, baffled. His wife's voice was right outside the door and sounded very...perplexed. Lucius opened his mouth when the bathroom door burst open.
"Don't go in there!" shouted Narcissa.
Lucius caught a glimpse of a big black blur before it collided into the tub and fell on him. Lucius spluttered and struggled against the black shape. When he managed to get water from his eyes, Lucius found himself face to face with a very wet Severus Snape.
"Severus! What the hell are you doing, man?"
Snape frowned as the tried to get off Lucius, but only slipped and the two ended up in a very compromising position.
"Get off me!"
"I am trying!"
"I don't believe this!"
"This tub is too slippery!"
After much fumbling and splashing, Snape somehow ended up between Lucius' legs. Lucius punched at him.
"Get off! Get off!"
Narcissa carefully walked over and tried to be of assistance. She managed to get hold of Snape's shoulder, but he was far too heavy for Narcissa to heave upright. Narcissa slipped on the wet floor and, with a shriek, plopped into the tub beside her husband.
"Oh, my hair!" she groaned, trying to sit up. She seized a fistfull of Snape's hair and slid down further when Snape yelped and jerked away.
Lucius moaned, for he was getting rather squished. The more the three tried to free themselves from the tub, the more they slid. Narcissa slapped Snape when one of his hands somehow ended up between her breasts.
"Be careful, you two," shouted Lucius, who still had Severus pinned between his legs, and was fearful of being kneed in his privates.
"Ow! Stop it!" snarled Snape to Narcissa as she pounded her fists on his back.
Narcissa tried to climb over Snape, but one of her legs was tangled in her long dress. For leverage, she dug her hands into Snape, who yelped. Much to Narcissa's embarrassment, she had two handfuls of Snape's skinny butt.
"This is all your fault," Narcissa informed Snape, pounding his butt as hard as she could.
"Lucius, control your wife!"
"Get your knee away from my manhood, please. Where's your other ha-aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! That's *my* ass, you pervert! Narcissa, I think your foot is sandwiched between Severus and me."
Narcissa let out a roar of frustration.
Draco stood in his parents bedroom gaping at the bathroom door, but not daring to enter. He heard-he couldn't believe what he was hearing! It made Draco cover his mouth with his hands and cringe.
"No! No! You'll drown us all!"
"I can't get it out!"
"Severus, you are squashing me!"
"Tell your wife to stop beating me there!"
"Eeeeeee! That pinches!"
"Narcissa, please leave Severus' ass alone!"
While all this was going on there were a series of splashes, and squeaks of flesh sliding against the marble. Draco staggered out of his parents' room feeling quite ill.
At long last, Severus and Narcissa freed themselves from the tumultuous tub. Trailing threats, Narcissa stalked into the bedroom for dry clothes. Snape sat on the wet floor, wiping wet strands of hair from his face. Overwhelmed, Lucius took in the drenced bathroom and the state of his friend.
"What did you want?" Lucius inquired numbly.
Snape was quiet a moment or two. "I forgot."
~FIN~
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters and concepts.
After a particularly stressful day at work, Lucius Malfoy decided to take a bath. A nice, long soak in the tub would soothe his nerves and rejuvinate his aching muscles. Lucius kissed his wife, handed his cane and cloak to a house elf, and headed upstairs for the master bathroom.
Dressed in a white bathrobe, Lucius turned on the taps of the luxuriently large tub and waited for it to fill with warm water. What a perfectly rotten day he'd had! That idiot Fudge had lost a very important file dealing with International Magic, and had sent Lucius on a mad treasure hunt all over the building. He'd been forced to exchange discourse with that intolerable Percy Weasley, who'd had the nerve to ask Lucius his opinion on cauldron bottom thickness! With people like Percy and Arthur Weasly in the population the wizarding world had little hope of surviving.
Once his bath was ready, Lucius slid out of his robe and stepped into the marble tub. A stifled giggle startled him plenty, and he whirled around to see the door cracked open. One of Narcissa's bright blue eyes peered in at him.
"Act your age, Narcissa," scolded Lucius, in no mood for silliness of any kind.
"Would you like a drink?" inquired Narcissa, still trying to quell her giggling.
"Yes-fine-leave it downstairs," grumbled Lucius. "I don't want to be disturbed."
Narcissa went on her way, tittering behind her hand. As if she hadn't seen him naked a hundred times already! Lucius slid down into the tub, leaned back, and closed his eyes, basking in the peaceful bliss. An enormous BANG caused Lucius to jolt out of his relaxation mode.
"What the hell was *that*?" he shouted, for he loathed loud abrubt noises.
One of the servents had dropped a metal urn. Lucius threatened to stuff the guilty person inside the urn if he or she disrupted his solitude again. With an exhasperated sigh, Lucius reached over and unfolded the Daily Prophet. That idiot Lockhart had regained his memory. Shame. The fool had written a new book entitled "Me, Myself, and I: Getting To Know Myself...Again." Lucius frowned at Lockhart's grinning picture.
A loud knocking on the bathroom door caused Lucius to drop the newspaper into the water. Cursing, Lucius retrieved the dripping newspaper and demanded the identity of the disrupter.
"Father, I saw this limited edition wizard chess set in Diagon Alley! It has-!"
"I do not care what it has! I am busy. We shall discuss it later," yelled Lucius.
"But father, the figures do this excellent-!"
"Draco, if I have to come out there, I shall be forced to give you a sound thrashing with my cane!"
After several silent moments, Draco's sulky tone apologized and footsteps were heard leaving the bathroom door. In vain, Lucius attempted to read the soggy newspaper, but he soon threw it aside in frustration. Really, the boy was too spoiled for his own good, but Lucius Malfoy would not have his son do without the finer things in life and end up like those deplorable Weasley brats.
Lucius caught snatches of muffled conversation from downstairs. Draco was more than likely badgering Narcissa about that rediculus chess set. When would the boy learn it was futile to go to his mother? Lucius Malfoy controlled the money, and always would. For an instant, Lucius amused himself by picturing Narcissa with complete control of the bank account. Actually, it was pretty frightening. That woman would probably have the entire house done up in pink fluffy, frilly nonsense if Lucius did not exert some form of control over her.
Narcissa's voice broke into Lucius' thoughts. He looked towards the door, baffled. His wife's voice was right outside the door and sounded very...perplexed. Lucius opened his mouth when the bathroom door burst open.
"Don't go in there!" shouted Narcissa.
Lucius caught a glimpse of a big black blur before it collided into the tub and fell on him. Lucius spluttered and struggled against the black shape. When he managed to get water from his eyes, Lucius found himself face to face with a very wet Severus Snape.
"Severus! What the hell are you doing, man?"
Snape frowned as the tried to get off Lucius, but only slipped and the two ended up in a very compromising position.
"Get off me!"
"I am trying!"
"I don't believe this!"
"This tub is too slippery!"
After much fumbling and splashing, Snape somehow ended up between Lucius' legs. Lucius punched at him.
"Get off! Get off!"
Narcissa carefully walked over and tried to be of assistance. She managed to get hold of Snape's shoulder, but he was far too heavy for Narcissa to heave upright. Narcissa slipped on the wet floor and, with a shriek, plopped into the tub beside her husband.
"Oh, my hair!" she groaned, trying to sit up. She seized a fistfull of Snape's hair and slid down further when Snape yelped and jerked away.
Lucius moaned, for he was getting rather squished. The more the three tried to free themselves from the tub, the more they slid. Narcissa slapped Snape when one of his hands somehow ended up between her breasts.
"Be careful, you two," shouted Lucius, who still had Severus pinned between his legs, and was fearful of being kneed in his privates.
"Ow! Stop it!" snarled Snape to Narcissa as she pounded her fists on his back.
Narcissa tried to climb over Snape, but one of her legs was tangled in her long dress. For leverage, she dug her hands into Snape, who yelped. Much to Narcissa's embarrassment, she had two handfuls of Snape's skinny butt.
"This is all your fault," Narcissa informed Snape, pounding his butt as hard as she could.
"Lucius, control your wife!"
"Get your knee away from my manhood, please. Where's your other ha-aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! That's *my* ass, you pervert! Narcissa, I think your foot is sandwiched between Severus and me."
Narcissa let out a roar of frustration.
Draco stood in his parents bedroom gaping at the bathroom door, but not daring to enter. He heard-he couldn't believe what he was hearing! It made Draco cover his mouth with his hands and cringe.
"No! No! You'll drown us all!"
"I can't get it out!"
"Severus, you are squashing me!"
"Tell your wife to stop beating me there!"
"Eeeeeee! That pinches!"
"Narcissa, please leave Severus' ass alone!"
While all this was going on there were a series of splashes, and squeaks of flesh sliding against the marble. Draco staggered out of his parents' room feeling quite ill.
At long last, Severus and Narcissa freed themselves from the tumultuous tub. Trailing threats, Narcissa stalked into the bedroom for dry clothes. Snape sat on the wet floor, wiping wet strands of hair from his face. Overwhelmed, Lucius took in the drenced bathroom and the state of his friend.
"What did you want?" Lucius inquired numbly.
Snape was quiet a moment or two. "I forgot."
~FIN~