by squidward
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter and Kareshi Kanojyo no Jijyou (Kare-Kano for short, His and Her Circumstances in English). JK Rowling and GAINAX do though…
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HIS AND HER CIRCUMSTANCES~*Sweet Victory! Only Losers Fall In Love! *~
Hermione reread the post again.
TOP TEN IN THE ARITHMANCY EXAMINATION
1. Hermione Granger
2. Draco Malfoy
Hermione couldn't help but smile. At last! At long last! Her sacrifices finally paid off! SHE FINALLY BEAT MALFOY!!! Hermione wanted to laugh her head off like a maniac but she had to restrain herself. She was still in public and doing that would definitely ruin her entire image.
Her hearing skills started to get sharper. She could already hear the praises from her peers. Even the softest whispers were still audible, and for Hermione they were as loud as an atomic bomb.
"Oh, Hermione Granger! I knew it! I always thought she's great!"
"Really brilliant! Arithmancy is the toughest subject of all!"
"She's really amazing, isn't she?"
"Oh, Hermione, congratulations!"
As if everyone didn't know that Hermione was standing with them before, they only bombarded her with congratulations the moment Hannah Abbott congratulated her. The students surrounded her and showered her with praises. Hermione politely thanked them and she tried to look not too pleased. Everyone became more fascinated with her modest acceptance of their admirations.
They didn't know that everything was just a façade.
Hermione was enjoying all the attention. Of course, she tried not to look proud and boastful. She acted like it was just a natural thing and that these things could happen to any normal person. And with that little show everyone admired her even more.
Her true self was celebrating. Goodbye my average old self! And welcome my prestigious and high profile new self! Finally, I'm getting the publicity I deserve. Everyone, praise me more! Only I deserve those praises and admiration!
I'm the greatest student in this school! I can't wait to see your face, Draco Malfoy! I finally beat you! Now you will experience the same horror of being an average person! All of your dreams will crash and everyone will eventually ignore you, just like what they did to me when you stole my glory! You will be shabby and hopeless. You will be wondering around like a lifeless stray dog! And I will tell you words of encouragement. You will look up at me and then you will join the common people who are only living just to praise me! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Hermione, congratulations!" A familiar voice called her from the crowd. For the first time in her life Hermione was delighted to hear that voice.
('Draco Malfoy! Now, show me your face! That defeated, hopeless and miserable face!') "Oh, Draco, thank you very much!" Hermione said joyfully. Draco came closer to her. Hermione was excited to see him defeated. But she was shocked when he got close to her.
Draco Malfoy was smiling sweetly at her. Genuinely sweet and admiring.
Hermione watched him in silence. Her body became numb. She didn't expect him to react like this. She expected him to act like a sore loser. But he didn't. He was there, standing in front of her, smiling with utmost sincerity. Hermione couldn't explain, but she just knew that that smile was really true. That smile reached her heart, she could tell it. Draco Malfoy is true.
Thinking that she would felt more superior to him, Hermione felt the exact opposite. In reality, compared to Draco, she was just a peck of dust. She was ashamed of herself. Draco Malfoy had always been perfect. He was a natural genius and a true public idol. He wasn't putting a show to attract everyone's attention. The praises he was getting were genuine, just like him.
For the first time in her life, Hermione felt that she was really a Mudblood, standing there in front of the "real thing". She looked at Malfoy's eyes and realized that he was as far as the brightest star.
She moved away from the excited crowd, her mind flooded with thoughts. She darted to the still empty Transfiguration classroom. She sat on a chair at the back and stared blankly at the space. I'm really disgusting.
I can't face him anymore! I never felt so low in my life! I felt like I'm the most pathetic and miserable person in the whole wide world when he came to me! It was impossible to reach him… to become his equal… and to beat him… I never realized that I was reaching this level of popularity madness. When did I ever start to become like this? My desire to be praised and pampered prevented me from showing my real self to the public. My life was just a show. I didn't live in reality.
I'm fooling everyone. I'm always nice and friendly to them but deep inside I despise them and think that they are too low to be my friends. So I never got real friends in my life. No one saw the real me…
I'm a fake. I'm a hypocrite. My entire life is just a façade.
Hermione continued to stare at the space. She knew that after that realization she still had to go on with her life. But what would she do now? Show everyone her true self? Show everyone the sloppy, impolite, arrogant, bushy-haired Hermione Granger?
No, it's impossible.
She couldn't risk it. It was tactless. It was stupid. It was scary. Yes, perhaps the real reason why she didn't want to show her true self was because she was scared. She was scared that everyone would not accept her. They would surely loathe her. After all, all of them were fooled.
So, would I just forget what I realized and go on with the show? I'm really thick if I'll do that! I'm starting to hate myself now…
Hermione sighed. She wanted to sleep and just forget about this. She was enjoying herself and this 'whole image show' before but now it was starting to lose its appeal. It became very appalling instead. Draco Malfoy unknowingly made her realize that truth. True, she still wanted to beat him. If she would ever start again with a new outlook in life she would still strive to beat him. Because beating him would mean that she was still a worthy person.
The light in Hermione's chocolate brown eyes sparkled brightly. Yes, that was it! She would not crave for praises anymore, but she would still continue her plan to defeat Malfoy! She would try to be more true to others. And her image? She decided to stick to it. She knew she couldn't walk freely in the Hogwarts corridors with frizzy hair hanging on her shoulders. After all, the habit she had for sixteen years was hard to throw away.
The students started to fill the room. Almost everyone went to Hermione and congratulated her. She just smiled at them weakly, and told them that she really didn't mind it. And those words were true. She really didn't mind the results now. And for the first time in her life she was not enjoying those flattering praises.
I would beat Draco Malfoy to prove my worth in this world…
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It was only six o'clock in the morning and Hermione was already awake. She dressed up, thinking it was better to eat her breakfast with less people in the Great Hall. It was quite shocking for Hermione to find herself avoiding the crowd. She had always wanted to be with them so that she would always stand out. But she was a partly, if not entirely, 'renewed' person now.
There were only about ten students in the Great Hall, and there were only three teachers at the staff table. Hermione sat on her usual seat on the Gryffindor table and ate her breakfast. She didn't have appetite so after taking a few bites from her bread and sipping three spoons of porridge she went back to the Gryffindor tower, collected her books and went to the Forest for their Care of Magical Creatures class.
She was indeed very early because even Hagrid was not there yet. So she decided to go to the lakeside. She sat comfortably on a grassy ground under a tree. It was very peaceful. Hogwarts was really beautiful at morning. Hermione watched the tranquil lake, wondering if the giant squid was still asleep.
She didn't know how long she stayed in that position, for it seemed like eternity. All her worries were starting to drain. It was just the peace and quiet that she really wanted. But that moment wouldn't last forever. She could already hear the noise of the students inside the castle.
When she checked her watched she was surprised to see that it was already twenty minutes after seven. Hermione stood up and headed to Hagrid's cabin. Still, Hagrid was not there yet. It was still early of course, but it was the usual time of Hermione's arrival in her first classes.
Hermione started rummaging her bag for her book. It was out of habit really, but when she realized that fact she had already read two pages. She was hesitating to shut it but ended up reading the entire chapter. She became too absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't notice who was coming.
"Good morning," Draco greeted. Hermione looked up and her eyes met Draco's warm morning smile.
"Er, good morning," Hermione responded. She wanted to get out of that place at that moment. Draco Malfoy was making her feel insecure.
"You're early just as expected," he said, looking around but Hermione.
"Don't tell you were guessing if I already arrived on your way here," Hermione joked. It was amazing how natural those words came out. Maybe Draco was the one letting her out from her made-up self after all.
"Sort of," he said truthfully. This time he looked at Hermione. "You did well in Arithmancy. Congratulations."
Hermione shook her head. "That was nothing really. You're great too. You're the second."
"But you're definitely the best," he smiled. Hermione smiled back. It was a genuine smile. She hadn't forgotten her plan to beat him but she wanted it to be a healthy competition. They stayed quiet for a while. Hermione started to feel awkward because Draco was staring at her. She opened her book again to read, but to her surprise, Draco grabbed it.
"What the-" Hermione stuttered. She looked at Draco's expression - it was blank. What was his problem?
As if reading her mind Draco said, "I want to tell you something."
"What is it?" asked Hermione. Draco handed her book back and looked at her eyes. Hermione didn't know what was going on. One minute he was jolly and cheerful then suddenly he became very serious.
"I just wanted you to know," Draco began, "that I have always loved you."
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It was already midnight and Hermione was still awake. She was doing her Defense Against Dark Arts essay about the Patronus Charm. She was the only one in the common room so she got the chance to sit on her favorite chair near the fireplace without competition. She was concentrating really hard on her essay until Crookshanks lazed on her feet and diverted her attention.
She saw her Care of Magical Creatures book and the memory of the morning's event flashed back.
I just wanted you to know that I have always loved you.
The old, praise-hungry, always-triumphant grin broke on Hermione's face again. So Draco Malfoy had a crush on her all along! Her old attitude was coming back and it plainly told her that she had finally beaten him.
In the rules of love, the one who falls in love is the loser.
And Malfoy was indeed the loser! She didn't need to prove her worth. All along, without even noticing it, she had defeated Draco Malfoy!
And what did Hermione say to him?
"I see. But I don't really feel the same way. I only treat you as a friend."
Without even considering the matter, Hermione rejected him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Bunch of thank you's to those who reviewed the previous chap: MysticalSpirits, NewSecretRose and Karana_Belle.
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