by squidward
==============================================
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter and Kareshi Kanojyo no Jijyou (Kare-Kano for short, His and Her Circumstances in English). JK Rowling and GAINAX do though…
=================================================
HIS AND HER CIRCUMSTANCESFinally Falling? I Quit!
Hermione was sitting in the deserted Transfiguration room. It was five minutes before seven and Draco Malfoy would be arriving any moment. Though she and Draco already established a more civil relationship recently, tonight, those friendly moments with him vanished in Hermione's memory.
She was clutching the piles of parchments in her hands, glaring at them. Her face was livid and her scarlet cheeks could rival the Weasley's famous fiery red hairs. Why she was furious and why there was a sudden change in her mood were answerable if her morning's account would be considered.
Her mind drifted back to her memory several hours ago. They were in a Care of Magical Creatures class. As usual, Hermione was early, but there were already a considerable number of students when she arrived. Among them was Draco Malfoy.
He was talking animatedly with his Slytherin peers. Hermione chose to leave him with them. After all, she was spending a lot of time with him lately that sometimes she thought she was stealing Draco from his old friends. So she decided to distance herself from him at some times so that he could enjoy other people's company and at the same time extinguish the rumors that she was going out with him.
'People think that we're going out,' Hermione thought as she remembered Lavander and Parvati asking her if she and Draco were already a couple. Her thoughts played on this subject. She watched Draco laughed from the corner of her eye and she couldn't fight herself from whistling a sigh.
Why did Draco affect her this much? Months ago she was a great prat to him and she was always surveying him with great dislike, though she wasn't showing it blatantly in public in fear that it would ruin her precious image.
Yeah, her image.
Her image was also the reason Draco Malfoy had the guts to blackmail her. Threatening her that he would spread the 'sensational story' that the great Hermione Granger was actually a freak landed her on the trouble of being his helpless slave. But things went differently. From those frustrating homework sessions, soon friendship was developed.
But in Hermione's case, it wasn't just friendship. Honestly, she didn't know. She hadn't got any real friends so how could she properly define the word 'friendship'? She had read loads of stuff about these things so somehow she still got a general idea. But wasn't it very inhuman, she identifying emotions through books like she was an extraterrestrial?
At times like this Hermione always got the feeling that she was lacking reality. She had been living in the world of hypocrisy for the past years, and living in the real world as a real person would be very hard. She had no idea how 'real' human mind works. Now she wanted to let out a bit of her genuine self to someone and she wanted that person to be someone she could finally call a friend. The books she read told her that she must be understanding if she wanted to maintain a platonic relationship with anyone.
And understanding someone would be very hard for her for she had been an egocentric girl ever since – always oblivious to what other people might be feeling. What if she hurt Draco without intending to because of her insensitivity? Could she explain to him that she did it because she didn't know how to read someone's emotions? If Draco wouldn't distant himself from her because she was insensitive, he would because she was weird.
Hermione let out a sigh again but it went unheard because the noise was getting louder. Students were starting to arrive and before she knew it, everyone was already present. She glanced at Draco's direction, and this time Draco caught her eye. He smiled at her before taking the seat along with his Slytherin friends.
She didn't know why but Hermione's heart leapt and her stomach did an unexpected flip because of that smile. It was lucky that Draco turned away quickly for she could feel her face growing hot. Standing motionlessly for a moment she snapped back to reality and took the seat beside Harry.
"Er, hi," Harry greeted rather nervously. Hermione looked at him as if she only realized that he was there and she nodded blankly. Harry stared bemusedly at her for a moment and glanced at Ron, who was having an internal battle if he should ask Harry to swap seats with him.
After a few seconds Hagrid turned up in front and the class started. Hermione shifted on her seat and tried to concentrate. She could still see Draco from the corner of her eye and she started to ponder on what had happened to her a while ago.
Was it Draco that caused that 'unusual' feeling? She had seen Draco smiling at her many times before but her heart didn't race and blood didn't rush on her face during those times. So what exactly happened to her?
Was she sick? Was it something she ate at breakfast? Was it fatigue? Hermione closed her eyes and tried to focus her mind. It wasn't the time for reflecting on her emotions - she had to listen to Hagrid's lecture if she wanted to protect her dear image. She moved sideways to get her quill and she saw Ron staring at her. Hermione beamed at him, which she did out of habit, and Ron turned scarlet. She was wondering why Ron got embarrassed at first but suddenly remembered that it was because Ron fancied her. Just then a thought hit her.
Was it because she fancied Draco? Hermione's heart gave an audible jolt and her stomach did another somersault. Ron was blushing over her because he liked her. Hermione blushed over Draco a while ago. Then it logically follows that she liked Draco.
She chanced another furtive glance at Draco and her face turned crimson. Was it true, that she actually fancied him? The conversation with Lavender and Parvati occurred to her again. Was she happy that people thought that they were going out? She shook her head, forcing her mind to pay attention to the class. But as she looked around her eyes laid on the spot where Draco confessed that he liked her.
I just wanted you to know that I have always loved you.
Draco said that he loved her. Her heart beat fast again. He loved her. 'But he said that before he found that you are actually a pathetic poser,' a voice in her mind said. Draco loved her hypocrite self, not her true self. And there was no way that Draco would like a calculating and greedy girl like her.
She stared at her book, forcing her mind to concentrate on the class. She read the first paragraph over and over again but hadn't absorbed anything that it said. Was she disappointed that Draco couldn't like her true self? Probably, she honestly told herself. But didn't Draco look happy during their meetings? Wasn't he treating her like a good old friend during those homework sessions?
But why was she in those homework sessions anyway? A realization hit her again. How could she forget? Draco was blackmailing her. He was taking advantage of her weakness. In short, he was just using her. He didn't intend to have a friendly relationship with her. He just wanted her to do his works. She was not a friend to him. She was just a tool. She was nothing.
The thought made her angry. She hated being used. She was always pampered and praised and the feeling of being used made a great damage on her ego, let alone her feelings. She was supposed to be angry with him. Why did she let him control her?
These thoughts came back to her as she waited for Draco in the deserted Transfiguration room. Only a minute to go and he would be there. She never felt so angry with him before. And she actually thought that she finally found a friend…
"Hi Hermione," Draco greeted jovially. He just arrived. "I'm sorry I didn't go up here earlier. I didn't see you at dinner, where have you been? Our you through with my Astronomy essay?"
Hermione, however, didn't even turn up to look at him. She was still glaring at the parchments on her hands. "Yeah, it's finished," she replied coldly.
"Oh, thanks," he replied uncertainly, noting the coldness in her voice. There was an awkward pause in which Draco was watching Hermione with worried eyes and Hermione was sitting firmly on her chair as if Draco didn't arrive.
"Hermione, are you okay?" Draco asked with what Hermione thought a genuine concern. And realizing that it was genuine made her more furious than before. She stood up, still not looking at him. Draco stepped closer to her.
"There!" Hermione yelled, sharply throwing the parchments on Draco's chest. "This will be the last time I will be doing those rubbish!"
Draco stared at her incredulously. He was clutching the parchments on his chest. Hermione was glowering at him, forcing herself not to cry. Draco Malfoy was just using her. Who was he to toy with her emotions like that?
"I know you wouldn't," Draco said but without any conviction in his voice, "you know what will happen if you didn't."
"Then I don't care!" Hermione bellowed angrily, her voice getting raw. "I don't care if you tell them! I don't care anymore! I'm getting tired of this! You're treating me like a house-elf, always ready to do anything for you, and I'm sick of it!"
Draco was watching her with an awed expression. He tried to open his mouth to speak, but no sound came. Hermione's cheeks were flushed and she could feel her bottled-up anger getting the better of her. "Hermione, what do you me-"
"Are you that daft to not know what I mean?! I said I'm quitting! I'm getting sick with all of these!" with that she ran out of the room, tears finally cascading down her cheeks. She wouldn't let Draco see her crying, that would mean he totally defeated her. She ran as fast as she could, making use of her athletic skills. She knew she would regret doing this. Tomorrow all those friendly faces always smiling at her would be gone. Tomorrow her deepest secret would be revealed. Tomorrow she had to reap the price of her deceit…
Hermione felt that she was finally away from Draco's reach. She didn't want to see him anymore. She didn't want to be close with him anymore. She didn't want to hear his voice anymore.
"HERMIONE!" Hermione peered at her back and saw that Draco was running after her! He was running faster than her and she could tell that if she slowed up he could catch up with her.
"WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?!" she yelled angrily at him.
"BECAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY!"
Hermione looked at him with pure disgust, her tears drying up. He was eager to get her, and she wouldn't let him do that.
"HERMIONE, STOP!"
"I WILL NOT GET ANY ORDERS FROM YOU!"
"DON'T BE STUBBORN! YOU'LL JUST HURT YOURSELF! LOOK AHEAD OF YOU!"
Hermione saw that she was reaching the top of the marble staircase. She could have fallen if Draco didn't tell her. But it was better if she just fell over, wasn't it? She looked back and saw Draco coming nearer. She had no other choice. She stopped, which took Draco by surprise, but he was more surprised to see her jumping down the staircase!
Draco's eyes widened. It was suicidal! There were about 40 steps before you reach the landing. It was an incredible height! Was she that determined to get away from him?
Hermione landed gracefully on her feet, thanks to the secret hard trainings she did to make her more athletic. There was no way Draco could catch up with her now. She looked up at the top step and saw Draco's shocked face.
"Okay, so this is our game," she heard Draco muttered. To her surprise he also jumped down the stair! Hermione was too shocked to move, and when Draco landed on his feet he grabbed her arm and stared seriously at her.
When Hermione realized what was happening she struggled for release. "Let me go!" she shrieked, looking away from him, feeling her tears clouding her eyes again. But Draco didn't let her go.
"What was your problem?" Draco snapped, trying to catch her eye.
"That's none of your business," Hermione snarled. "Just let me go!"
"I will not let go until you answer me properly!"
"I said it's none of your business!" Hermione cried, finally facing him and exposing her teary eyes. Draco looked taken aback when he saw that she was crying and finally let go.
"Hermione, I-" he didn't know what to say. He was staring at her anxiously. Hermione was sobbing harder, hiding her face on her hands. "Hermione, I'm sorry. I didn't know that I was hurting you."
"Oh, r-really," she replied sarcastically in between hiccups. "Y-you m-mean you d-didn't m-mean t-to u-use m-me, huh? H-how touching!"
"I'm not lying," he said gently, his voice sounded hurt. "I just did that because…"
She looked up at him with puffy red eyes, glowering. Draco looked determinedly back at her. "I just did that because I wanted to have an excuse to be with you."
This was the answer Hermione was expecting the least. She thought he was just pulling her leg but she could tell that he was sincere. "I wanted to know more about you. You're very interesting. When I saw you with that bushy hair my desire to know you swelled. You're very interesting I thought having you alone with me was the only way to get close to you. I didn't mean to make your life hard by letting you do my schoolworks. I just wanted to be with you. I don't have any intentions of telling anyone about your secret in the first place, whether you agreed with my conditions or not."
Hermione didn't say anything for a while. Draco stared at her, preparing himself for any of her violent reactions, but to his surprise, she smiled at him. "When you say I'm interesting do you mean that I'm weird?"
Draco chuckled, "Yeah, partly."
Hermione laughed. "I cried."
"That's okay. I'm sorry," he ran his finger on her cheek and wiped the tears on the corner of her eye. "So, friends?"
"Yeah, friends."
====================================================
Again, sorry for the late update! Thank you very much: KaranaBelle, Squall'sScar, MysticalSpirits, and Poetic-mind.
Your opinion matters! Just hit that little GO button there and REVIEW!