by squidward
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter and Kareshi Kanojyo no Jijyou (Kare-Kano for short, His and Her Circumstances in English). JK Rowling and GAINAX do though…
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HIS AND HER CIRCUMSTANCESDoubts and Insecurities: Rain of Confession Strategies!
"Hey look, it's Granger!"
"Where?"
"There, posting something on the bulletin boards."
"I wonder if I should approach her…"
"You gotta be thick to do that! That's Hermione Granger we're talking about! She looks like those gorgeous Muggle celebrities."
"But I really like her!"
"She doesn't look like the type that would go for someone like you, mate."
"Hi Hermione!"
"Oh, hi Draco!" Hermione smiled sweetly, making the boys at the hallway, who were ogling at her, watch her with increased admiration. She was posting the Hogsmeade schedule with a very charming poise that all the boys in the vicinity looked at her like she was a veela. She continued to smile sweetly at Draco, who was watching her with an annoyed expression, but that sweet smile was wiped away from her face when Draco poked her in the head.
"Ouch! What was that for?!" Hermione snarled, all dignity forgotten, making her admirers' jaws dropped.
"You're showing off again! See those guys goggling hungrily at you?" Draco pointed irritably as he dragged Hermione away from them. "Haven't we agreed that you should stop being such a lousy poser?"
"I know," Hermione muttered, caressing her head. "But it's hard you see, to quit posing. I've been doing it my whole life! It's hard to get rid of such habit. And honestly, you don't have to hit me in public!"
Draco didn't reply and continued to drag her to the Great Hall. He and Hermione had been close friends, friends sharing each other's deepest secrets. They both agreed that they should start showing their real selves in public and quit on protecting their dear image. This deal was much easier for Draco, who didn't have much to change. But Hermione, born with immeasurable ego, couldn't stop herself from showing off sometimes. And Draco was the one who always drag her back to earth.
"What are we doing here anyway?" Hermione asked, staring blankly at the Great Hall.
"Er, nothing. My feet just brought me here," said Draco truthfully.
"Us. I lost control of my own limbs when you pulled me," she grumbled. Draco was about to say something apologetic but Hermione halted him. "I'm not mad, you don't have to say sorry."
He beamed at her and looked relieved, making Hermione feel guilty for her tactless snap.
"I guess you should get back posting those," Draco pointed at the parchments Hermione was holding. "I'll help you if you wish."
"Thanks," and they left the Great Hall and started posting the notices. Hermione was very glad to have Draco as her friend. At least, she could now say that she really did have a friend. A friend that cared for the real her. Draco was a very wonderful person. Although he was a bit stupid sometimes, Hermione still liked him.
Draco was standing very close to her as he pinned a notice on the bulletin board. Hermione felt a familiar chill on her back, not sure if that feeling was caused by a friend. She could feel her face growing warm at their close contact, but she never let Draco notice these weird reactions.
"There," Draco said as he pinned the last notice. "Is there anything left undone?" Hermione shook her head and beamed gratefully at him.
"I guess I'll just see you later, I'll have to go back to the Gryffindor tower," she waved goodbye to him and went up to the seventh floor.
Hermione wanted to stay with him, but her heart was drumming she was afraid she would lose control. Being close to him was enough to brought tingling sensation to her skin. Was this feeling normal when you speak of a friend?
"I guess not," she mumbled silently as she climbed on the portrait hole. Friends never cause such feelings. Unless those friends mean more than friends to you…
Hermione blushed at the thought. Could it be that she was not only attracted to Draco as a friend, but also as a… lover? She could feel her heart drumming again. That was possible. Draco was very nice, polite and intelligent, not to mention really handsome, so it was not surprising for a girl to fall for him.
She went up to the girl's dormitory and lie on her bed. Of course, there was no other explanation. The weird feelings Draco was causing were due to the fact the she liked him. No, erase the word 'like'. She loved him.
Yes, she loved him. Her thoughts drifted on her memory last week, when she was alone with him in the Ancient Runes classroom.
---
They were chatting about school works and other things when suddenly, Draco changed the subject of their conversation.
"Hermione," he began as he watched the setting sun from the window. "What I told you last time, they were true."
She watched him confoundedly, not really comprehending what he said, "The thing about how really weird I am?" she said in a tone that she was only joking and really didn't have a clue and what he was talking about. Draco, however, looked more serious. He stayed quiet for a moment as if not wanting to be disturbed. Then, after a few minutes, he looked at Hermione.
"About what I told you last time – that I have always loved you." he stared firmly at her while Hermione, taken aback by his sudden confession, looked down and blushed. Draco realized that she would not say anything so he continued.
"My feelings for you never changed. They actually grew stronger than before, whenever I am alone with you in those homework sessions," he paused, his eyes never leaving Hermione, "So, how do you feel about me?"
Hermione looked at him, her face very red. Draco continued to stare at her, his face still serious and hopeful. Their eyes locked for a moment and Hermione was the first to look away. She didn't say anything. Draco gazed at her and waited for her answer but no single sound came from her. When the sky started to get dark Draco broke the silence.
"It's getting late. Let's go back to our common rooms now."
Since then, Draco didn't ask her about that thing again.
---
Hermione buried her face on her pillow. What if Draco's feelings had already changed because she didn't give her answer immediately? What if he realized that it would be better for them to just stay as friends? Where would it leave her then, now that she realized that she was madly in love with him?
Just keep everything from him? That was a good suggestion after all. She didn't have to go through the humiliation of confessing her love and being rejected. But still, something was telling her that it wasn't right.
She would explode if she kept on hiding these feelings. She had to tell him…
"Okay, I'll tell him later at the prefects meeting!" Hermione said, determination mounting in her.
---Confession Strategy Number One: Alone With Him---
"Hi. What took you so long?" Draco asked the stressed Hermione as she entered the prefect's office. Hermione just smiled weakly at him, her face slightly flushing.
It was harder than she thought. She was rehearsing on what she would tell him but she couldn't think of anything sensible to tell him. It was surprising that her wonderful gift in words suddenly vanished when she needed it the most. She tried to think of anything good, but as she went on her next thoughts were becoming more outrageous than the other. So she gave up, fixed her robes and left everything to her luck.
"Good evening," Professor McGonagall greeted when she arrived. The meeting started immediately. They were discussing about their plans for Christmas, and everyone was listening raptly to Professor McGonagall as she discussed their duties and planned activities.
Hermione, however, was thinking about her plan. When the other prefects were gone she would talk to Draco and tell him her feelings. She was picturing different reactions from him and she almost dropped her quill when she imagined him rejecting her.
The meeting was over and everyone started to leave. Hermione remained seated, pretending to arrange her notes while Draco was discussing something to Professor McGonagall. When Professor McGonagall leave Hermione quickly stood up and approached Draco. They were finally alone.
"Er, Draco," Hermione stuttered. She took a deep breath before she continued, "Could I have a word?"
Draco looked bemusedly at her but nodded. Hermione sighed, gathered all her courage she had been prided as a Gryffindor. "Ah, well, you see-" But before Hermione could continue a rampage of footsteps distracted her and a loud thud came from the doorway.
"Oh, Draco, where will we put this?" one of the intruder asked, who just dumped boxes of Christmas decorations on the doorstep.
"Thank you for bringing them! Do you mind helping me arrange them here too?" Draco asked and the 'intruders', which happened to be six Slytherin fifth year boys, agreed and they started moving the boxes in the corner of the room.
"Hermione," Draco called, "what were you telling me again?"
Hermione blushed, shook her head as all of her gathered courage started to fade away, "That was nothing. I'll just leave then. Good night," and she sighed before heading back to the Gryffindor common room.
---Confession Strategy Number One Result: Failure---
Hermione went up to her dormitory sadly. It had been very tiring, thinking about how to confess to him yet her plan failed. She sat on her bed and took her Ancient Runes book for light reading. As she flipped the pages she found a folded parchment slipped into it. Hermione opened it curiously and her interest vanished as quickly as it appeared when she read it. It was just a short note from Parvati asking if she could borrow her notes in History of Magic. She was on the point of throwing the note away when suddenly an idea popped in her head. Excitement rushed in her and she quickly rummaged her bag for a quill and a spare parchment.
---Confession Strategy Number Two: Write To Him---
"NOOO!!!" Hermione shrieked as she crumpled and tore a piece of parchment for the tenth time. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hand was trembling. Wasted parchments were scattered on the floor, with only 'Dear Draco' and short paragraphs written on it.
"I can't do this!" she declared, her voice strangely resembling that of Professor Trelawney's gloomy one. "It's giving me goosebumps!" She put down her quill with more force than necessary and picked up the parchments on the floor.
"I'll never write a love letter! Never!"
---Confession Strategy Number Two Result: Failure---
Next morning, Hermione woke up quite late for she stayed awake all night thinking of a better plan. But everything she had thought was very ridiculous she just dismissed it when it was already two o'clock in the morning. She gloomily went down to the Great Hall, ate without energy as she watched Draco on the Slytherin table. She sighed before she pushed her plate away and went to her class.
She waited outside the Arithmancy room and stared blankly at the wall opposite her. She couldn't believe that confessing to someone was this difficult. Were the guys who liked her experiencing the same thing? It was horrible. She might be really mean to just ignore their feelings when they were actually suffering an emotional battle in their hearts. But her trail of thoughts was distracted when she heard someone coming.
"Hi there!" Draco greeted as he walked to her direction.
"Hi," Hermione greeted back, though not as cheerful as him. Her mind was using up all her energy she felt very tired.
"Are you not feeling well?" he asked sincerely.
"Oh, I'm fine," she replied, putting up a cheerful smile.
"That's good. You know, I tried to come up here earlier so I'll be the first one to arrive. But you still beat me I guessed," Draco said.
"What's this? A race?" Hermione snapped jokingly.
"Yeah, sort of," he grinned, "and you'll have agonizing minutes being stuck here with me." They both laughed, but Hermione suddenly stopped, realizing something.
She was alone with Draco! CHANCE!
---Unexpected Chance To Confess Number One: Alone With Him Again---
Draco was taken aback at Hermione's sudden silence. Hermione, however, started to feel nervous again.
"Er, Draco," she started, her voice trembling. Draco watched her with curiosity but didn't say anything. "Well, I really wanted to tell you this but I'm just waiting for us to be, er, alone."
Hermione took a deep breath. Go on, you can do this! She told herself. "You see, Draco, I really, well, I really li-" but Hermione wasn't able to continue for students started to arrive. She looked at them, horrorstruck, as they greeted her with good morning's. She nodded unbelievingly at them, not really taking in their greetings. Draco, on the other hand, was waiting for her to continue.
"Hermione," he called.
"Ah, well, uhm, Draco I really like the book you lend me last week… yeah! The book you lend me last week," she smiled nervously, doubting that Draco believed her.
"Well, that's nice," he beamed at her. "Come on, Professor Vector is already there, let's go inside." Hermione followed him, feeling gloomier than she did when she woke up.
---Unexpected Chance To Confess Number One Result: Failure---
Hermione and Draco patrolled the corridors together that night. Hermione had decided to stop those confession businesses for a while because she couldn't take the frustration and stress it was giving her.
"Where will you spend Christmas by the way?" Draco asked her.
"I'll go home. I wanted some time with my parents. How about you?"
"I still don't know. I haven't decided yet."
"I see."
They stayed quiet for a while, unable to think any topic to talk about. When they finished their patrolling Hermione said good night to Draco, but Draco didn't reply.
"Hermione, when will I get your answer?" Hermione didn't have to ask what he was talking about. Blood crept on her cheeks and she didn't meet his eyes. Her heart was thumping and didn't know what to say. Draco just stared at her but after a few minutes he said good night to her too and headed for the dungeons.
---
"Great, just great," Hermione muttered as she went up to her room. She was making a fool of herself just to find a great opportunity to tell him her feelings and when he was the one who gave her a chance she didn't do anything! Why did she have to get tongue-tied at the time she needed to talk?
She jumped on her bed and closed her eyes. Next time, I promise I'll tell him. And with that, she fell asleep.
EPILOGUE
"Hermione, Professor McGonagall told us to meet at her office. I guess it's about Christmas break."
"Thanks Ron. I'll be there."
Perfect. I'll surely see him there. He'll probably ignore me. And I don't really blame him. After all, that was the second time I failed to answer him.
Why is it that it is very easy for him to tell his feelings? Is it because I had lived my life as a pathetic poser? Yeah, I guess so. I'm really lacking reality. But I have to go to the meeting now. I don't want Professor McGonagall to get mad at me, it will just make the matter worse.
I know, I have to tell him my answer. But can't he understand how hard this will be for me? What if he will tell me that he had waited long enough and lost interest, let alone tell me he doesn't want to be friends with me anymore? Can't he understand what I am feeling?
Great, he is already here. And the only vacant seat is the one on his right. He didn't even look at me when I sit down! Did he hate me that much?
I can't understand what Professor McGonagall is discussing. Draco is concentrating at the plan Professor McGonagall gave us. He is so perfect. His left hand is holding the parchment while his other hand is resting on his side. Those hands that pulled me out of my fake world and assisted me in facing reality.
Reality, I had been running away from it because of fear of getting hurt. But he taught me how beautiful reality is even if there is pain. I really love this guy…
And if I will get hurt, I wanted to be hurt by his hands…
---
As she watched Draco from the corner of her eye, she slowly slipped her hand into his. Draco looked at their intertwined fingers and his cheeks turned crimson.
Since then, they became boyfriend and girlfriend.
THE END
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Alas, the end! Thank you so much to those great people who reviewed and supported my fic. And to answer one of the reviews: I dunno where you can download Kare-kano manga but you can purchase mangascanlations here: http:foliomedia.tk.
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