Well this is it. Please read and review tell me what you thought of the story as whole. I'd appreciate it. Thanks. Read and enjoy.
A side note: This story does not take place during any particular season, so it can take place during any season you'd like.
A few days later Chandler was released and the gang, as well as his parents who flew into New York as soon as they heard about what happened, brought him home. The first week back was awkward and stressful on everyone. Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, and Monica alternated taking off from work to make sure that someone was there to help out Chandler and Joey since both were still recovering. Chandler's parents and Joey's family also helped out as well, but they eventually had to go home.
Joey and Chandler met with a counselor several times that first week and seemed to be handling their ordeal very well aside from the fact that they remained somewhat distant from their friends, and that Chandler had started smoking again. He always kept a carton hidden in his room at all times in case of a sudden craving but for some reason was unable to get to a store. Everyone was worried about him readapting his old addiction, the doctor had told them to watch for stuff like that, but they let it slide. Joey was worried about Chandler because he was becoming distant, even to him. He could tell something was bothering Chandler, but he couldn't tell what it was. Every once in a while Joey could see anger and hate in Chandler's eyes, much like he did the night they were held hostage in the store. They also had not told everyone the details of what happened that horrible night, nor about their developing relationship. No one pressured them and figured that they'd talk when they were ready, but their patience was wearing thin. The four of them had suffered as well that night, and were desperate for closure as much as Joey and Chandler were, however they respected their silence and kept their mouths closed.
The first week home was frustrating for Joey and Chandler, it seemed like they could never get a minute alone, except when they went to a couple of sessions with their counselor. Neither of them enjoyed going there however. During the day, family and friends seemed to constantly walk in and out asking them if they needed anything. Monica had made them enough food to last the rest of their lives, and although grateful of her generosity, they were quickly running out of space in their apartment. All they wanted was to be alone. At first they thought they'd be able to be alone at night, but by then both of them were exhausted and had no energy to stay up and talk. They did however, share the same bed and enjoy the comfort they felt as they would fall a sleep in each others arms. When the other four would arrive in the morning to spend breakfast with them, that would be how they'd find them together. They had shared a bed before, so no one found it strange that they would do so now.
After the first week, things seemed to calm down and Joey went back to The Days of Our Lives, Chandler went back to his office a few days later. They all started to hang out in the coffeehouse again but the awkward silences and tension rapidly increased as everyone began to restart their lives. Something was different, they all felt it, they all could see it in each others eyes. The events from that night were still weighing on their minds greatly, and no one seemed to know what to do about it.
---
It had been two weeks now since Chandler had been released from the hospital. He was back to work but only part time until he felt well enough, physically and mentally, to go back to his normal hours. Today, however, he had been held up in meetings that lasted through the day and into the evening. When Chandler left work, he was beat. He wasn't expecting to work a eight hour day today. It was only ten o'clock, but he could barely keep his eyes open as he made his way to the nearest subway station and caught the next train that would take him home. He sat down with difficulty on the grimy, plastic seats and tried to stay awake. He was tired and in slight pain, he hadn't brought his painkillers to work with him cause he thought he'd only be working a four hour shift. Half way through the ride, sleep took him as he passed out in his seat. Unfortunately, he forgot to take his cell phone off silent mode since his meeting and missed all the calls from his friends that would have woken him up. As he slept in the near empty subway car a man in black approached him.
-----
"Where the hell is he?" asked Joey for the twentieth time. "Why isn't he answering his cell phone? He should have been home like six hours ago!" He began to pace back and forth through Chandler's and his kitchen.
"I don't know Joey, maybe he got held up at work." said Ross. He was secretly worried too, this situation was all too familiar.
"You don't think.. something happened.. do you?" asked Rachel quietly as she joined the others in the kitchen.
"No, no way. I mean something can't happen. That's crazy.. that's impossible." said Monica. No one, including herself, believed her words as they sat there anxiously waiting for Chandler to come back.
----
Chandler woke up when he felt the first punch connect with his head. The man mistakenly thought Chandler was drunk and an easy target to rob. Still half asleep Chandler saw the man clad in black over top of him, and fear gripped him. He thought he was back in that store, being tortured and terrorized, and his initial fear gave way to his deep seated hate. He lunged forward knocking the unsuspecting man into the seats on the other side of the train. Chandler began to punch and kick him fiercely, but the mugger grabbed hold of Chandler's tie, pulling him forward and repeatedly punched him in the face and stomach, eventually knocking him to the floor. Quickly, the mugger pulled out a knife before Chandler came at him again, and pounced on Chandler who was dazed by the blows to his head. He saw the knife out of the corner of his eye, and he snapped. The last time he had fought a man with a knife, he was trying to kill him.
The other three passengers on the train saw the brawl ensuing, and quickly walked on to another car. None of them felt like dealing with a mugger and a drunk.
"No!" he rammed into the mugger's knees knocking him to the floor. They began to wrestle each other, both fighting for control of the knife. The mugger was twice the size of Chandler, but he wasn't much of a fighter. He had never experienced this kind of reaction from anyone he had mugged before, and was actually beginning to fear Chandler. In Chandler's mind, this man was the man who tried to kill Joey. Deep down he knew it wasn't, but he wanted revenge, he wanted to feel that what happened to him and Joey was justified in some way.
As he was fighting for the knife, the mugger got one of his legs free, and began to knee Chandler hard in the stomach, as his free hand punched him in the face. Chandler rolled off him, paralyzed by the pain that had just been inflicted upon him as the mugger was now free. He considered to just let Chandler go, but he needed money and could tell by the suit and tie that Chandler was wearing that he had money. He jumped on Chandler and put the knife to his face. He didn't want to kill him, he used the knife mainly as a scare tactic.
"All I want.." the mugger began to say but Chandler never let him finish. He frantically knocked the knife away from his face, cutting his hand in the process, and then grabbed the mugger by his shoulder with one hand as he punched him in the face with the other. Once he was free he grabbed the knife that had gotten free and tackled the mugger to the floor. He held it inches away from the man's throat, just as Thief Number One held a knife to his throat not too long ago. Chandler's eyes were ablaze with a mad anger and possessed with icy hatred. He was going to kill him, it was no more than what he deserved. Chandler was determined to make believe that this was the same criminal from the store, the same man who put him and Joey through hell. The mugger looked up at Chandler, he was terrified. He knew for sure that this man was going to kill him. He had never seen such malice from one set of eyes in all his life, and he was a criminal.
"Please.. please don't kill me," the mugger choked up in a quiet, desperate voice.
The words pierced Chandler's ears. His madness was shattered as he looked into the eyes of the man he desperately wanted to suffer. What he saw sent chills down his spin and made his mouth go dry. He saw fear. The same fear he saw in his own eyes whenever he looked in the mirror, the same fear he saw whenever he looked at Joey, and he had caused that in another person. At the same time Joey's words echoed through his mind, If you kill him like this, people will think you're a murderer. You'll be just as bad as them. That's not who you are, Chandler. This is not who you are. Please put the gun down, you're better than this. Chandler dropped the knife as he realized exactly what he was doing and jumped off the man, as sanity once again gripped his mind. He watched as the mugger's expression change from fear to relief. He didn't even go after the fallen knife, he just laid there thankful that the man he was trying to rob had some heart. As soon as the train came to the next station, Chandler ran off not even caring where he was running off to. He had to get away from there. He needed Joey and his friends.
It was a half past midnight by the time Chandler finally reached his apartment building. He dragged himself up the steps to his floor. He was tired, in pain, and had been crying most of the way home. He could just imagine what his face looked like.
---
The five of them still waited anxiously for Chandler to come home. They had called his work and found out that he had not left until ten that night which eased their fears for a bit, but when midnight rolled around and he still wasn't home, they began to panic again. They waited in silence, no one had anything encouraging to say, and no one wanted to say what they feared might have happened.
Five heads snapped up as they heard the door knob turn, and watched as Chandler walked through the door. Their relief was short lived however.
"Chandler! Where have you.. Oh my God.. what the hell happened to you?" cried Joey who hugged him tightly and led him over to a chair. "You're all beat up!"
Monica ran over to her place to get ice and her first aid kit, as everyone else got up from their seats and quickly went over to where Chandler sat. Joey was kneeling down in front of him, he could read Chandler like a book and knew something awful had happened to him beyond the cuts and bruises.
Chandler broke down to tears. "I'm a horrible person," he said in between sobs," I almost killed a man tonight."
Shocked looks spread across the faces of Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica, who had just returned with all her first aid equipment. The idea of Chandler wanting to kill anyone, let alone almost going through with it was impossible to them. Joey's face remained the same, he was not surprised or shocked by what he heard.
"I fell asleep on the subway and this man tried to mug me, and when I woke up to him hitting me, I thought he was the man who tried to kill you Joe, I wanted to believe that." he said as his sobs increased. "I wanted him to pay for what happened to us, I wanted some form of revenge. The image of you being shot constantly runs through my mind, the fear, I want it to be gone. I want it to go away, and it won't." he paused for a moment as he wiped his eyes and sniffled," I put a knife to his throat, just like the man in the store had done to me, but.. but then I saw his eyes. He was terrified, and when I looked down at him I.. he had the same fear in his eyes that we have Joe, and I caused that.. I caused that. After that I dropped the knife and ran," he paused again. "I'm no better than the criminals from the store." he said quietly as if it were a new revelation.
Joey got up from his position from the floor and began to speak. The other four stood and watched silently. They were finally getting some of the answers and information they desperately needed from that night.
"What?!" Joey said somewhat angrily, "Don't you ever compare yourself to them Chandler, don't you ever! You are so much better than them, then most people!" he said as his tone softened. "I know how you feel though, I want revenge from that night too, but there's no one out there to put blame on for what happened to us. They're both dead. When I thought the man killed you, I wanted to kill him too, and if I had had some way to do that, I would have. But we are not bad people for feeling that way, you are not a bad person because of what happened tonight or what you almost did a few weeks back." He slide onto the leather chair next to Chandler and took his hand. "You wanted to kill that man in the store because you thought he killed me, but they killed all those innocent people for money Chandler, that's it. And then tonight it was almost the same thing, but you didn't go through with it because you're a good person. You don't want to see people suffer, you just need closure. If you were no better than those criminals, you would have killed that man tonight and then robbed him." Joey raised his hand to Chandler's face and moved it up so they were looking eye to eye. "Do you know why you're filled with so much hatred towards those men.. why we both are? Or why you wanted so badly for the man tonight to be the man that shot me?" asked Joey.
"Because of what they did to us." answered Chandler.
"Yes, that's partially it, but it's also because we care about each other and we love each other, and we'd do anything to protect each other. Everything you did, or wanted to do was out of love, Chandler. You would have never wanted to kill that man if you didn't care about me so much. And yet even though you care about me so much, you still were unable to go through with it. So see, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about, you just need to realize that it's over. There's nothing to fear anymore. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm the closure you're looking for. I don't need you to go seek revenge for what happened, I just need you. I love you so much Chandler."
Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica stood there mesmerized by the wise and heartfelt words that came out of Joey's mouth
Chandler smiled and wiped his eyes again, "I love you too Joe." Realizing and not caring that the other four were there and that they were keeping their relationship a secret, Chandler leaned over and took Joey's mouth beneath his own, no longer caring what may come of it. Four gasps soon followed the kiss between their two friends as they looked down in surprise and shock. The two men parted and looked up guiltily at the four questioning faces of their friends.
"Oh, by the way, we have something to tell you." said Joey in a partially jokingly tone, trying to lighten the mood.
After Monica and Joey helped Chandler clean up his cuts, Chandler took a quick shower and they all sat down in the living room as Joey and Chandler began to explain to them how their relationship came to be. At first they were all shocked, but after letting the information settle, they realized that it wasn't that big of a surprise. They had always been very close and always acted like they were more than best friends, and after what they went through together, it just made sense. After they finished talking about their relationship the conversation turned toward the night that everyone had been afraid to talk about. Both sides began to confess and explain what happened on their side of the store that night. They sat up late into the night while using about four boxes of tissues in the process.
"The one man, Christ, his blood was everywhere. It was all over me."
Ross embraced him in a hug. No one knew how to respond to that. Joey took the embrace graciously. "Are you going to be ok, are both of you going to be ok?" Ross asked, trying to disguise how upset he was. He wanted to reassure himself that Joey and Chandler were both still emotionally intact. The doctor's words about his mental condition had scared him more than he had let on to the others. Joey smiled at him. He could see the nervousness in Ross, and it touched him. "I think so," he said honestly, and with conviction. "After all, I've got Chandler, and you guys to get me through, don't I?" Chandler shook his head in agreement."Of course you do." they all said as Ross broke off the hug and returned to his seat.
"And I just want you to know, we did everything we could to get that money to you. But there was an accident, and then I tripped. And then we found out that you were dead" he looked at Chandler, "and it was because we didn't get there in time. God, it was the worst feeling in the world." said Ross to Joey and Chandler who were sitting in each others arms on the couch.
"I figured something must have happened. I knew you guys wouldn't just let us down without a really good reason." said Joey as he thought back to the moment when he realized that no money was coming to save them for the second lottery drawl.
"I still can't believe you tried to take a bullet for him. I mean wow." said Rachel to Chandler as she blew her nose.
"Eh, it was nothing." he said in a mock arrogance.
Around four o'clock that morning everyone began to empty out of Joey and Chandler's apartment and into Rachel and Monica's. It was too late for Ross and Phoebe to walk alone to their places, and they wanted to give Joey and Chandler some privacy after the events that took place earlier that night.
---
That night, once everyone left, Joey and Chandler quickly went into Chandler's room and shut the door. After talking and rehashing all their memories that night, they needed each other now more than they ever thought they could. They kissed each other in a chaotic fashion as if this were the last night of their lives. They moved over to the bed, still in each other's arms as they laid down and continued to kiss. Their pace slowed a little, but the intensity in their actions remained as their hands began to roam each other.
This was going to be their first night together, as every night before they both either fell asleep before anything could happen, or they were interrupted by someone coming to check on them during the day, or one of them became afraid and wanted to hold off. Tonight there weren't any interruptions, Joey made sure to lock and bolt the door, and there were no doubts. The events from earlier that night and the talk made them both realize that this was what they wanted without a question.
Neither of them possessed a coherent thought as they laid together, sending sensations through the other that neither of them had ever experienced before. All they knew that in this moment, all their fears, pain, and anxieties were washed away by the presence of the other. Joey's hands went up under Chandler's shirt, caressing the sensitive skin of his stomach and as he arched into him. Joey was careful not to be too rough, considering that Chandler was in a fight less than five hours ago. They slowly began to undress each other as they broke their kiss and began to unbutton their shirts and threw them off each other. They ran their hands up and down each others chest, slowly roaming over the many permanent scars that were inflicted upon them that terrible night. Joey softly placed his lips on the bullet wound that would forever scar Chandler's left shoulder as he trailed his way down to his chest. Chandler melted into Joey's touch and writhed in anticipation as he felt Joey's hands on his bare chest. He felt Joey's hands move from his chest down to his stomach and wrap around his back as he was lowered to a lying position on the bed.
Joey hesitated as his hands wondered down to Chandler's jeans. As he looked up at Chandler to see if he was ok, he felt Chandler's hand grab the back of his neck and pull him towards his face.
"It's ok Joe. I want this just as much as you. You told me there was nothing to fear anymore, and I don't fear anything anymore," said Chandler barely audible. Joey leaned down and gave Chandler a hard, passionate kiss before letting his hands roam again.
They had been constantly giving each other emotional support ever since the night they almost died together, but they needed more. They needed the physical contact of each other now, they needed to feel safe and protected and loved, they needed to be one. They had both realized that night in the store how much they loved each other, whether or not those feelings had always existed didn't matter to them. They loved each other now more than anyone could possibly imagine and nothing was going to stand in the way of that.
Chandler squirmed under him as Joey's fingers brushed gently over the front of his jeans. Chandler gasped as he looked down at him as his hand pushed slightly under the front of his pants. His heart began to pound, his ears flooded with the sound of his rushing blood as Joey unzipped the front of his pants as he slipped them off along with his boxers. He paused momentarily as he gazed lovingly at Chandler's body. He was extremely pale and skinny, and was scarred and bruised everywhere but he was beautiful to Joey. Most of the scars Chandler had received were during his fight with the thief after Joey had been shot, which just made Chandler even more handsome to Joey. The scars were out of love for him. The thought made Joey want Chandler even more as he slipped his own jeans and boxers off and continued to kiss Chandler's stomach.
Slowly, carefully Joey's eased his body over Chandler's. His lips went to Chandler's as he moaned out loud, his heated arousal pressing into Chandler's. They grinded their hips together, as Chandler began to tremble. Their bodies were smooth and warm against each other, as their hands became buried in each other's silky hair. Joey began thrusting his body into Chandler's who began to push back with pleasure. They looked into each others eyes and knew that they both wanted this more than anything in the world. The continued their lovemaking for the rest of the night, bringing more pleasure to the other than they ever dreamed was possible. They finally tired out as their hot, sweaty body's fell back into the sheets. They lied there panting for breath as they cuddled next to each other, their faces inches apart.
"Are you ok?" asked Joey as he slid his hand down Chandler's face and saw a tear in his eye.
"Yeah.. yeah.. that was just amazing. I just never thought I could be this happy, especially after what happened to us."
A smile slowly spread across Joey's face, "Me either, I love you."
"I love you too."
They kissed each other softly and then fell asleep in each others arms.
---
3 months later
"What are you doing?" asked Ross who was sitting next to Chandler in Monica's kitchen.
"Making chocolate milk. You want some?" answered Chandler excitedly.
"No thanks, I'm 29."
"Oh yeah? So am I. Live a little Ross, have some chocolate milk."
Monica and Rachel, who were also sitting at the table laughed as Ross just took a sip of his beverage.
"So what do you guys want to do tonight, see a movie?" asked Rachel
"Yeah, sure." said Ross
"How about you, Phoebe? Chandler?"
"No thanks I've already seen one." said Phoebe.
"Yeah, I don't really feel like going to one either." said Chandler as he stirred his chocolate milk.
Just then Joey walked in from work and gave Chandler a quick kiss before getting a beer out of the refrigerator.
"Hey Joe, we're trying to figure out something to do, got any suggestions?" asked Chandler.
"Umm strip poker?" he said looking over at Chandler.
"Ehh, how about you two play that in the privacy of your own apartment." said Ross.
" How about Twister? Scrabble? Pictionary? Regular poker?" said Monica.
"All sound good.' said Phoebe.
They played some Scrabble and Pictionary and a game of poker before they started to play the Twister game.
"Right hand red," said Ross as he watched his friends struggle to move their limbs.
"Almost there.. I can almost get it." said Chandler as he stretched his arm out and around Rachel.
"Chandler get your butt out of my face." said Monica.
"Hey it's not my fault that your face just happens to be there."
Just then Rachel couldn't hold her position anymore and fell on top of Joey, who fell on top of Monica, who fell on top of Phoebe and Chandler. They all began laughing as they tried to get up, but were stuck. Ross began laughing at them only until Monica grabbed his leg from the floor and dragged him into the mess. They wrestled and laughed, and for those brief seconds, the past was a blur and the future wasn't a worry. All they knew was that in this moment they were all together and that they were happy. They eventually had to get up though, they were getting too old to stay in those positions for too long.
Eventually Joey got hungry again and went over to the refrigerator, "Monica, do you just not go food shopping anymore? There's no food in here."
"I go food shopping once a week, you keep eating my food." she turned to Chandler. "I can't even imagine how often you go food shopping." she said.
"Every other day." said Chandler with a smile, "But it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
"Aww I'm hungry."
Chandler went over to Joey and kissed him. "I have a pack of Tic Tacs, do you think that will hold you over?"
"Ehh."
"Remember the last time we went out to get food at this time at night?" asked Chandler.
"You know what, now that I think about it, I'm not hungry." said Joey as Chandler smiled at him. "Let's play twister again." Everyone began to laugh as they fixed the Twister board and began to play again.
Everything was going to be all right.