Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters do not belong to me. They are property of the writers, producers, SciFi, etc. The only thing I own is this story and any original plot/dialogue contained here in.
Summary/Spoilers: Post Lost City, part 2. Kinda AU. Potential spoilers for everything up through and including "Lost City", and possible borrowing of the limited spoilers I have read for Season 8.
Author's Notes: I hope this explains some of the questions the last chapter raised. I know Jack's "fuck the rules" motto wasn't going to be well received by everyone. I hope this explains it a little better. Believe me, I agree, the regs are a HUGE part of what Sam and Jack believe in and they are not to be taken lightly, or acted as though they don't exist. There are consequences, trust me. Also, you're probably learning I NEVER resolve a chapter. It always has to lead into the next one. This on is no different. You've been warned!
She had not heard four scarier words. Her brain, usually so active, so sharp, was failing her. She was having a hard time processing what was happening. She was in Jack's room at Jack's cabin with Jack, who she had just begun allowing herself to grieve. She was wearing his clothes, holding his hand. He had just promised her the universe. He may as well have. "The President owes us one." But did that mean the President was going to pay up? She didn't necessarily disagree, but that wasn't the point. They had built their lives, both separately and together, around the military. Hell, she'd been raised in it. They had fought--and died--for everything the military espoused.
After eight years of smiles and "yes sir"s and stopping only at friends and colleagues, 2IC to CO, denying themselves, torturing themselves, all in the name of the greater good--could they so easily throw that all away? He had been in her heart and in her head for so long. But she had finally accepted that they could never be. She had been mourning him, accepting that she was now going to live her life without him. Now he was back, and although she believed he would do everything in his power to keep his promises, she wondered the cost.
"Sam?" His voice was questioning, teasing yet worried.
She realized that they were standing wordlessly next to the bed. Unsure of what else to do, she cast him a nervous glance and sat down. Slowly, he sat down beside her. They were both stiff backed, their hands folded nervously in their laps.
Jack was suddenly ten years old again. He was at Shannon McPhee's birthday and they were in the closet of her parent's laundry room, the latest victims of "Seven Minutes in Heaven." For six minutes and fifty-five seconds they had stared nervously at each other. Then quickly, he'd pecked her on the lips, plastered a grin on his face so that Brian Shea wouldn't tease him or try to beat him up, and walked back to the party.
Jack realized a similar approach forty years later might not be the best idea. He cast Sam a sideways glance. She was nervously twiddling her fingers, staring at them. She must have felt his gaze, because she turned to look at him.
He smiled, trying to be reassuring. He could almost read the confusion and doubtful thoughts in her head. Slowly, he reached out, took her hand, and brought it to his lips, gently kissing each knuckle.
"Jack..." She began.
"Relax, Sam," he murmured against her hand. "I wasn't planning on seducing you tonight." Although the thought had crossed his mind, he'd decided against it. They had plenty of time to get there.
Sam blushed, "No, I didn't think--"
"Yeah you did," he chided. "I just want to hold you. Come on." He smiled, kissed her hand again, but this time on her palm and rose to turn down his side of the bed. He grinned when he saw his pillow was vertical instead of horizontal, as though she'd been hugging it.
Sam caught his grin and blushed. She was doing a lot of that lately. It suddenly felt very warm in the room, even though the summer nights were traditionally cool, and Sam slipped off Jack's flannel shirt, revealing a thin black camisole.
Jack whistled in appreciation as he stripped down to his shorts and T-shirt.
"Shut up," she said with a laugh as she slid into bed, still feeling a little self-conscious. He raised his eyebrows suggestively as he slipped in beside her. They lay facing each other, a breath away. It felt good, natural, right, and yet Sam still couldn't help but feel as though a SWAT team was going to burst in at any moment and arrest them for treason and insubordination.
Jack read the unending uncertainty in her body language and sighed. He reached out and stroked her face. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you weren't happy to see me," he teased.
"No, that's not it," she insisted, shaking her head emphatically. "I am, more than you know, I promise."
He waited for her to continue. "But..."
She sighed, "But I can't help but wonder when it's going to end. I know you say that we're owed this, but we're probably the only ones who see it that way."
"Sam--"
"Jack," she said firmly. "You've been through a lot lately. And you've finally been made a general. I don't want you to lose that because of me."
"Hey," he said, propping himself up on his elbow. "Neither one of us is going to lose anything. And if I do, it'd be worth it."
"How can you say that?" She demanded, a little frightened by how committed he was to this. "You've given over thirty years of your life to the military. Can you really tell me you think I'm worth throwing all that away for?"
He groaned exasperatedly and buried his head in a pillow near her shoulder. "Samantha!" He cried, bringing himself up over her. "Please trust me on this. You're worth it."
"But--"
"Shut up," he commanded. He brought his face within an inch of hers and his lips over hers. She opened her mouth to him slightly. He traced her lower lip with the tip of his tongue and she responded by taking his lower lip into her mouth. He closed his mouth over her upper lip and she smiled. Her mouth opened, and she took him in happily. He crushed her tightly to him, and she slowed the kiss, shutting her mouth and pressing her closed lips to his slightly parted ones. He responded at her signal that they needed oxygen. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he buried his face in her shoulder and hair, inhaling her scent. She smelled slightly of sweat and cold, but he could faintly detect a hint of sunflowers and wondered what perfume she wore.
He wanted to stay like that, in her arms, or take her into his and have her rest her head against his chest, but he knew that what he was going to say to her next would be best received if she was looking him in the eyes. He pressed several considerable more chaste kisses to her throat then propped himself over her again, one hand cupping her cheek. Her chest heaved against his body as she tried to regain her breath. "Kissed her like she's never been kissed, eh old chap?" His mind teased him. He couldn't help but grin at the effect he'd had on her. Or notice the uncomfortable, yet pleasant effect she'd had on him.
"Sam," he whispered in the darkness, his lips close to her ear, grazing her temple ever so slightly, causing her to shiver. "Listen to me. Very carefully." She nodded in agreement, her eyes shining with passion. He took a deep breath. "I've devoted my life to the military, and it's given me so much. But it's taken so much from me as well. I've had months of my life taken from me, been robbed of the people I love, all in the name of serving my government. And I've let it happen, grinned and bared it, and when it was over, smiled and gone on to fight another day. But I'm so tired. I had six months inside that Door Man thing to think. It's all I could do. I had time to evaluate my life. I have a great career; I mean, I've been decorated how many times now? I have the respect of my peers, and for the most part, of my government. I've saved the world a million times."
She smiled at the pride in his voice. He was a brilliant soldier and an amazing man, that was for sure.
He continued. "I have a great team who is like my family. But I don't have a family of my own. I did once, but I lost part of it to an unavoidable tragedy, and I lost the rest because I threw myself into my career, and the military hid me and let me self-destruct." At this, she saw the pain in his eyes at the mention of the long ago tragedy. The death of his son was still as fresh in his mind as the day it had occurred, and she wondered if part of him would forever bleed at the memory of the beloved boy. She placed a gentle hand along his scruffy cheek but said nothing.
Grateful for her silent support, he went on. "The SGC gave me my life back, but not before they tried to help me end it. I know we've built our lives around the structure and discipline we were trained to love, but we're still only human. Maybe a little worse for wear, but we're still human. How can we be expected to forget that? We're not machines." He took a deep breath. "I know you were seeing Pete, and I don't really know what's going on with that now, but if you're happy with him then I will, without a fight, let things go back to the way they were. I'll let you go. But if you can't tell me that you haven't had feelings for me, that you don't now, then I think we should march right in there and demand a little slice of humanity after all we've given up to protect it."
She was silent for a while, tears mixing with the passion for him her eyes still held. Her hand traveled from his cheek, down the side of his neck, till her warm hand was on his shoulder, and made light circular patterns as she worked her way to the base of his neck, where she alternately massaged his sore muscles and lightly scratched his hairline. "How can you ask me if I feel anything for you? Don't you know? Haven't you always known?" Her voice was warm, hazy, passionate, begging.
Pulling him closer to her, she rolled him on his back, pressing her lips gently to his cheek bone, just below his right eye, and she fluttered her lashes a little, letting them tickle the sensitive skin around his eye. He brought a hand up to cup her face, caressing her hair and running his rough knuckles over her soft cheek. She sighed lightly, then leaned in and brushed her lips across his. Gently, he opened his mouth to her and sought access to hers with his tongue. This time, their kiss was more demanding.
Her mouth and his were open the minute their lips touched and their tongues dueled, wet and silky and slow, searching the recesses of each other's mouths. Jack took control almost immediately, rolling on top of her. He placed his hand behind her thigh and pulled her leg toward him. She eagerly complied, placing her lower leg between his and throwing her upper one over the back of his thigh. His hands roamed her entire body, while hers stayed relatively in the same place, one on his neck, urging him to explore her mouth deeper, changing the angle, the other running up and down his side, lightly caressing his ribs, her fingertips silken on his bare skin. He shifted his position, resting his body weight on his left elbow, and she rose up with him, not allowing him to break the kiss.
Their teeth knocked and she titled her head to gain better access. His hand traveled along her ribs, caressing the soft material of her camisole, and she waited for him to trace his fingers over the curve of her ribs and down the middle of her stomach. Instead, his hand cupped the side of her breast, and he squeezed it gently, sending waves of warmth through her body. She felt herself respond to him, and she hungrily kissed him, alternating between taking his lower lip into her mouth and plunging her tongue into his.
It was too good like this. Too good to be true. But she believed him. Believed his reasons. Agreed even. He was right. She had feelings for him. So many feeling, so much emotions, she wasn't sure she could distinguish them. But it didn't matter. They were owed this. They were going to make it work, in spite of the regs, in spite of their detractors, in spite of the fact that tomorrow the universe might come crashing down upon them once again.
They had each other.
After eight years, they finally had each other.
Yeah yeah yeah I'm evil...Review anyway!