::Note from Lams:: Thanks to all of you who keep reviewing my stories. You're completely awesome! Special thanks to She-who-must-not-be-named666 & KeithUrbanFan, who keep reviewing my stuff. You guys rock! The rest of you guys have got to check out KeithUrbanFan's For Better or Worse, We're Stuck. It's one of the funniest fics I've ever read. I'm completely addicted to it. And She-who-must-not-be-named666 is quite possibly the best slash author on here. You've got to check out some of her stuff too, I recommend the Fred/George one. Yummy! Thank you all again! I'll get back to the story now.
While Hermione and Snape were running from the fuzz, Draco and Goyle were trying to keep one step ahead of Colin Creevy.
"Hey you guys!!! Wait up," called Colin as he ran through the bushes.
"Can't we just pretend we thought he was a rabbit and Avada Kedavra him the hell out of here?" Draco said to Goyle.
"Ah'm afraid ye can't be doin 'a', Malfoy," boomed Hagrid.
"What the hell are you saying?" said Malfoy. "I can't understand a word of it!"
"Ah sez, ya can't be Avadeur Kedavreeam young Creevy 'eear," said Hagrid.
"Damn, you need a speech class!" said Draco as he pointed his wand at Hagrid. "Adfabiliso!"
"Wha' t' 'ell?" shouted Hagrid just before he got hit by the spell. He tumbled back onto the ground.
"Draco! Did you kill him?" asked Goyle.
"No, you dip shit! I just made him learn how to talk," said Draco.
"Jolly good show old bean!" said Hagrid to Draco. "Well, boys. If you jolly chaps are all done pointing your wands at me... pip-pip, tally hoh, let's kill some rabbits."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Pip-pip, tally hoh? I think I've created a monster."
Back at camp, McGonagall was still passed out and Dumbledore was fast asleep.
Pansy Parkinson was braiding a piece of Dumbledore's beard. She threw it down, exasperatedly. "Ugh! I CANNOT braid another piece of hair!" she cried.
"I know!" said Lavendar Brown, also throwing down her piece of hair. "I found a piece of Pumpkin Pie in his beard, it must have been about 70 years old."
"Actually," said Luna Lovegood, "it was probably a Seven-Headed Knoozle. They tend to live in the beards of old men."
Everyone ignored Luna. "I wish Professor Trelawney was here," sighed Parvati. "She's so wise!"
Pansy scoffed, and Lavender shot her an evil glare. "Well, I think Professor Trelawney is the best teacher we have at Hogwarts. What would she tell us to do if she were here?"
"Oooh! I know!" said Luna. "She would tell us to take a piece of Dumbledore's beard and use it for Voodoo Magic!"
"Ooooh!" said Lavender. "For the first time in your life, I think you're on to something, Luna!" And with that, she snipped off a large chunk of Dumbledore's beard and walked over to the fire.
Pansy followed her. She always wanted some revenge on Dumbledore after the time he caught her making out with a picture of Draco Malfoy in a broom closet. "Let's make him do something really wicked!" she said.
Hermione pulled Professor Snape down into a ditch seconds before a Police car sped past them.
"That was a close one!" she said. "We're fugitives from the law now. Isn't it romantic?"
Professor Snape sank down into the ditch without saying a word.
"Oh come on! You have to admit this is a little hot. We're running from authority with no one else to rely on but one another!"
Professor Snape didn't speak.
"Well," said Hermione, "it looks like we'll have to be hiding here all night. Just us, together... oh take me now, Severus!" she said, flinging herself upon him.
He pushed her off and gave her a menacing glare.
"What is wrong with you?" she said. "You probably haven't gotten any-- ever. And you reject a sultry young thing like myself? Are you gay or what?"
"I'm not gay, Miss Granger," said Severus, who looked rather rigid and distant at the moment.
"Oooh! I get it," she said. "You had something beautifully tragic happen in your past. Someone broke your heart and since that day, you've sealed yourself from every emotion. So, who was the lucky lady, Sevvy?"
"Though we are outside of school, I insist you to call me 'Professor' or 'Sir,' is that understood?" said Snape, hotly.
"That's okay. It's kind of hot to call you 'Professor' anyway," she said. "And don't go changing the subject on me. I want to know all about your sordid past. We've got all night."
Professor Snape looked away. After awhile, he hesitantly spoke. "I'd prefer we didn't talk about this, Miss Granger."
"Oooh! I was right!" she said. "Who was it? Common speculation is that you had the hots for Lily Potter. Lammy even thought for awhile that you were really Harry's dad, just because she's all freaky like that."
Professor Snape looked like he was choking. "Me and Potter?!?!" she said angrily. "I resent such a pairing. Now, since we haven't had anything to eat, would you mind taking out the footlong?"
Hermione's eyes widened. "I thought you'd never ask!" she said, reaching for his robe.
"Good Lord! What are you doing?" Snape demanded. "I meant the hot dogs we just purchased. You are really a foul and perverse little child."
"Where the bloody hell is Harry?" thought Ron as he scanned the woods. "Lumos!" he said as he pointed his wand towards the lake. Ron walked up to the naked figures. "You're having an orgy, without me?" he said, taking off his robes.
Fred and George turned around to see their naked little brother. "You really are the little brother," said Fred, eyeing Ron's package.
While Hermione and Snape were running from the fuzz, Draco and Goyle were trying to keep one step ahead of Colin Creevy.
"Hey you guys!!! Wait up," called Colin as he ran through the bushes.
"Can't we just pretend we thought he was a rabbit and Avada Kedavra him the hell out of here?" Draco said to Goyle.
"Ah'm afraid ye can't be doin 'a', Malfoy," boomed Hagrid.
"What the hell are you saying?" said Malfoy. "I can't understand a word of it!"
"Ah sez, ya can't be Avadeur Kedavreeam young Creevy 'eear," said Hagrid.
"Damn, you need a speech class!" said Draco as he pointed his wand at Hagrid. "Adfabiliso!"
"Wha' t' 'ell?" shouted Hagrid just before he got hit by the spell. He tumbled back onto the ground.
"Draco! Did you kill him?" asked Goyle.
"No, you dip shit! I just made him learn how to talk," said Draco.
"Jolly good show old bean!" said Hagrid to Draco. "Well, boys. If you jolly chaps are all done pointing your wands at me... pip-pip, tally hoh, let's kill some rabbits."
Draco rolled his eyes. "Pip-pip, tally hoh? I think I've created a monster."
Back at camp, McGonagall was still passed out and Dumbledore was fast asleep.
Pansy Parkinson was braiding a piece of Dumbledore's beard. She threw it down, exasperatedly. "Ugh! I CANNOT braid another piece of hair!" she cried.
"I know!" said Lavendar Brown, also throwing down her piece of hair. "I found a piece of Pumpkin Pie in his beard, it must have been about 70 years old."
"Actually," said Luna Lovegood, "it was probably a Seven-Headed Knoozle. They tend to live in the beards of old men."
Everyone ignored Luna. "I wish Professor Trelawney was here," sighed Parvati. "She's so wise!"
Pansy scoffed, and Lavender shot her an evil glare. "Well, I think Professor Trelawney is the best teacher we have at Hogwarts. What would she tell us to do if she were here?"
"Oooh! I know!" said Luna. "She would tell us to take a piece of Dumbledore's beard and use it for Voodoo Magic!"
"Ooooh!" said Lavender. "For the first time in your life, I think you're on to something, Luna!" And with that, she snipped off a large chunk of Dumbledore's beard and walked over to the fire.
Pansy followed her. She always wanted some revenge on Dumbledore after the time he caught her making out with a picture of Draco Malfoy in a broom closet. "Let's make him do something really wicked!" she said.
Hermione pulled Professor Snape down into a ditch seconds before a Police car sped past them.
"That was a close one!" she said. "We're fugitives from the law now. Isn't it romantic?"
Professor Snape sank down into the ditch without saying a word.
"Oh come on! You have to admit this is a little hot. We're running from authority with no one else to rely on but one another!"
Professor Snape didn't speak.
"Well," said Hermione, "it looks like we'll have to be hiding here all night. Just us, together... oh take me now, Severus!" she said, flinging herself upon him.
He pushed her off and gave her a menacing glare.
"What is wrong with you?" she said. "You probably haven't gotten any-- ever. And you reject a sultry young thing like myself? Are you gay or what?"
"I'm not gay, Miss Granger," said Severus, who looked rather rigid and distant at the moment.
"Oooh! I get it," she said. "You had something beautifully tragic happen in your past. Someone broke your heart and since that day, you've sealed yourself from every emotion. So, who was the lucky lady, Sevvy?"
"Though we are outside of school, I insist you to call me 'Professor' or 'Sir,' is that understood?" said Snape, hotly.
"That's okay. It's kind of hot to call you 'Professor' anyway," she said. "And don't go changing the subject on me. I want to know all about your sordid past. We've got all night."
Professor Snape looked away. After awhile, he hesitantly spoke. "I'd prefer we didn't talk about this, Miss Granger."
"Oooh! I was right!" she said. "Who was it? Common speculation is that you had the hots for Lily Potter. Lammy even thought for awhile that you were really Harry's dad, just because she's all freaky like that."
Professor Snape looked like he was choking. "Me and Potter?!?!" she said angrily. "I resent such a pairing. Now, since we haven't had anything to eat, would you mind taking out the footlong?"
Hermione's eyes widened. "I thought you'd never ask!" she said, reaching for his robe.
"Good Lord! What are you doing?" Snape demanded. "I meant the hot dogs we just purchased. You are really a foul and perverse little child."
"Where the bloody hell is Harry?" thought Ron as he scanned the woods. "Lumos!" he said as he pointed his wand towards the lake. Ron walked up to the naked figures. "You're having an orgy, without me?" he said, taking off his robes.
Fred and George turned around to see their naked little brother. "You really are the little brother," said Fred, eyeing Ron's package.