Title: Coming Apart

Disclaimers: To the lovely but sadistic JK (If you question the sadism, read the fifth book), you own everything and get all the monies.

"So you're dating the manwhore?" Cleo asked.

"Monogamous manwhore, and will you quit calling him that?" Remus snapped.

"Ooo…we hit a nerve. Lookit, he's all defensive!" Cleo noted.

"We hit a nerve? Blunt bitch." Lily muttered. "As far as I can tell, I've said nothing about Sirius' manwhoriness."

"Ah, but you just did now." Severus said with a smirk.

"Did not." Lily denied flatly.

"You really did." Cleo said.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Can I tell you three about our date or not?"

"Okay, we'll be good." Cleo said.

"Okay. We snuck into Hogsmeade and-"

"Did he behave?"

"He didn't grab your arse, did he?"

"Is he already talking about sex?"

"Will you guys back off!" Remus exclaimed. Lily, Cleo and Severus all looked guiltily at their hands. "He was fine. He instigated nothing sexual. He didn't even kiss me until we got back to the castle."

"Oh." Cleo said quietly.

Remus frowned. "You guys don't think much of him, do you?"

"No." The three said in unison.

"Well then I'll go talk excitedly about my date with Ja- no…Sirius took him, uh…Peter. See ya."

"Bye."

SKIPPY SKIPPY

"Sirius, my friends loathe you." Remus said flatly.

"You're talking about Snape and Cleo right? I know they hate me. I give them reason to." Sirius answered.

"Lily does too though."

"Really? Why?"

Remus frowned. All Lily did was insult him, and he seemed surprised and hurt by this revelation.

"Um…well they keep calling you a manwhore."

"Oh. Well I am." Sirius said. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you were just flirtatious."

"Well yeah, but I act on my flirtatiousness. You know that right? That I sleep around?" Sirius asked.

"Er…like a lot?" Remus responded. He was feeling uncomfortable. He'd always thought Sirius was joking about how he'd slept with half the school.

"Well…um…lemme see if I can get a count. Um…" He started counting on his fingers. "Nineteen."

"Nineteen?!" Remus shrieked. "You're sixteen years old and you've slept with nineteen people?"

"Girls."

"Pardon?"

"Nineteen girls. I…haven't counted the guys yet." Sirius blushed.

"How many total?" Remus asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"Twenty three."

"You really are a manwhore!"

"Well yeah."

SKIPPY SKIPPY

"He really is a manwhore." Remus said hollowly. He and Lily were seated in the Gryffindor common room, attempting to do homework.

"Yes Remus. Yes he is." Lily said, trying not to be exasperated. She, Cleo and Severus had been trying to convince him of that for years.

"But he really, really is. He's slept with twenty three people." Remus said in the same, dead voice. "What if Cleo and Sev are right, and he is just after me for sex?"

Lily looked down, feeling very awkward. "I…I don't think you have to worry about that." She muttered.

"…You know something I don't. What is it?" Remus demanded.

"Well, remember how I talked to him at the Yule ball? Well he's…he's really committed. He said he loves you."

"He did?!" Remus said, a wide smile breaking out on his face. "Oh wow. Like, you think he meant it?"

"I don't know him that well, but…he seemed as, well, serious as I've ever seen him." Lily answered truthfully.

"Wow…" Remus said, looking rather stupid-happy. Lily sighed in exasperation.

"Look, I know you're retarded for him, but would you call what you feel for him love?" Lily asked pointedly.

Remus considered. He considered the way his stomach did flips whenever Sirius smiled at him, considered the way his thoughts constantly revolved around Sirius, and considered how good those warm lips had felt against his. Then he nodded eagerly, that same 'I'm head over heels' smile on his lips.

Lily grimaced. "Why do I get the feeling this relationship is doomed?"

"Because you're a pessimistic spinster." Remus suggested. "And you're not ruining this for me. I don't care what you, Cleo or Sev do, none of you are ruining this for me."

"But Remus, Sirius is-"

"Bah!" Remus yelled, cutting her off.

"Re-"

"Bah!"

"Re-"

"Bah!"

"Fi-"

"Bah!"

"I said fine!" Lily yelled.

SKIPPY SKIPPY

Sirius and James strolled down the corridor, Sirius speaking excitedly and in a hushed voice so that no one else would overhear. As Jezzebel Samsa had passed by them three times, and classes were over for the day so she wasn't headed anywhere, he got the feeling keeping his voice down was a good idea. He caught James up on everything he'd been doing since getting ready for the Yule ball and waited for James' reaction. James considered a moment. Then…

"So when were you going to tell me, your best mate, that you fancy Remus?" James asked.

"Well I just told you now didn't I?" Sirius asked irritably, waving his hand as though waving away a minor detail.

"Yes, I suppose you did." James said, frowning. "You should've told me before. I would've loved seeing you get ready before your first date. I bet it would've been amusing."

"You've seen me get ready for dates loads of times." Sirius muttered, feeling slightly annoyed.

"I wouldn't call those dates Padfoot. More like one night stands. And anyway, this was obviously different because Remus isn't glowing so you haven't deflowered him yet." James said it in a light tone, still walking, and it took him a minute to notice that Sirius had stopped walking. James stopped and turned around, an eyebrow raised.

Sirius was staring at him, something akin to hatred gleaming menacingly in his eyes. James paused and carefully considered how to react. "Sirius? Did I say something-"

"So you think I'm just some perverted manwhore who just uses anyone I feel like to, do you?" Sirius snarled.

"Well c'mon, look at your record!" James exclaimed, getting frustrated himself. "I mean, sure you've been around the school but you haven't been in anything that qualifies as a real relationship, have you?" He demanded. Sirius looked like he'd been slapped.

"Fine. So why don't you go tell Remus I'm horrible just like everyone else has been doing!" Sirius yelled, before taking off.

"Sirius don't be such an idiot!" James called after him. Scowling, he continued off in the opposite direction and walked headlong into Severus. "Watch where you're going Snivellous."

"Your wit, as usual, astounds me Potter. Where's Black, I need to have a word with him." Severus inquired. James regarded him sceptically.

"Why?"

"That's my business."

"This hasn't got anything to do with Remus, has it?" James asked. He was about to add, 'Because if it has you might want to wait a minute or two' but Severus cut him off.

"Just tell me where he is so I can get away from you, you snivelling arse."

"Find him yourself you hygiene impaired loser!" James yelled, taking off.

Severus turned a corner and glimpsed the back of Black's head as he thundered down the staircase. 'Having some sort of tantrum then.' Severus thought bitterly. He took off after Black and managed to catch his attention some ten minutes later outside by the lake. Black was walking awfully fast, something had upset him badly.

"What?!" He finally yelled at Severus. Severus looked taken aback, but he fixed his usual cool glare onto his face in a record time.

"I just wanted to have a chat about your involvement with Remus. If you do anything to him-"

Sirius cut him off with a false sounding laugh, waving his hands in the air. Severus backed away a few steps, staring at him with dislike but also some curiosity.

"When have I ever done anything to harm Remus? When have I ever acted as though I didn't care about his well being? WHY DOES EVERYBODY THINK I JUST WANT TO FUCK HIM AND THEN LEAVE?! DO THEY THINK I HAVE SOME SORT OF KINK ABOUT MENTALLY ABUSING PEOPLE?!"

"Well considering you past implications-"

"Oh go to hell you fucking shit! You're one to try to regulate a social situation! That's fucking rich, when was the last time you even snogged someone?!" Sirius exclaimed.

'Broom closet, half hour ago, Cleo' Severus thought quickly. "Just shut up and listen to me. Thanks to you and Potter, I don't have many friends in this school. And I know it's greatly upset you both that one of my few friends happens to be a mutual friend of yours. But understand this, I will not see any of my friends hurt. Got that? I don't care if you two think you're some kind of gods above all the other petty mortals in this school, if you hurt him in any way-"

"You know him so much better than me, do you?" Sirius asked, an eerie sort of calm settling in his voice. Severus started. That hadn't been what he'd said, but now that he'd mentioned it…

"Yes. I daresay I do. Thick as you are-"

"You know him so damn well? All his secrets? Absolutely nothing about him would surprise or frighten you in the least?" Sirius continued.

Severus was starting to feel uneasy. He'd hardly been thrilled when Remus had announced he was homosexual, but he'd taken it well, hadn't he? He couldn't imagine much else that could cause a serious threat to their friendship. "What are you getting at Black?" Severus asked, trying to interject confidence he did not feel into his voice.

"If you know him so damn well, then tonight press that knot over there on the Whomping Willow. Then we'll talk."

James ran down the lawns looking for Sirius. He could never stand being on bad terms with his best friend for very long, and was ready to do all the apologizing if that was necessary. He looked around, ready to sprint back into the castle if he didn't see Sirius on the grounds, but he finally noticed him, white faced and horror struck, ambling up the lawn, apparently looking at nothing.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere. Look, I need to talk to you before we go down to the tree with Moony and transform-" Something about the look on Sirius' face made James stop. Sirius stared at James in horror.

"J-James. Smack me. Hard. I need to be hit really hard." Sirius croaked. Far from fulfilling Sirius' request, James stared at him a moment as though concerned about his sanity.

"What's wrong?" He demanded, feeling annoyed once more. They couldn't even make up properly, no, Sirius had something else on his mind.

"James I…I…" He seemed unable to actually say it.

"What?!" James finally shouted.

"I told Snape how to get past the Willow." Sirius said hollowly. This took a moment to sink in.

"WHAT?!?!" James screamed. "Sir-How could-GAH!!!" He raced in the direction of the Willow, all thoughts of Sirius forgotten.

The sun had set completely about fifteen minutes ago, there were only faint tinges of red in the distance. And the full, shining moon loomed nastily in the darker part of the sky. James made it to the tree and into the tunnel in record time. He paused, listening, and distinctly heard footsteps.
He took off after Severus, shouting warnings, but Severus it seemed had decided James was up to no good (although this assumption really was pretty fair to make, considering his usual treatment from James). Severus began running, and as he had a considerable lead on James, the fact that he was slower didn't really matter much. They raced the length of the tunnel, James losing breath. He'd developed a painful stitch in his side. Severus was almost to the end, when James finally managed to grab him and pull him back.

"Potter, what are you-" But Severus' question died on his lips. He heard a menacing growl coming from the end of the tunnel, and caught a flash of malicious, yet strangely familiar golden eyes. And he remembered a nickname he'd once heard Sirius use to describe Remus. "Moony." He whispered.

And then, with a forceful yank from James, they were running.

A/N I decided to post this all as one story now with three chapters instead of as three separate parts. I like to think of it as a three part story though, I just thought it'd be easier to navigate this way.