Sunday FANFIC Writing Challenge #1 (R Junkie's Challenge)

Unspeakable

By whitemeteor

I got to the park before I felt too tired and drained to run anymore. I sat down on the bench angry at myself, I'm so useless! I'm such a coward. I only wanted to give Kisa her birthday present but when I thought I saw Akito coming around the corner... Why did I feel such terror? Why was it, that the only image in my head was that of Akito screaming at Rin and...shoving her out of the window? Why did it have to play and replay itself in my head?'

I just didn't want the same fate to fall upon Kisa. So I had no choice, I had to say something terrible. I don't even remember what I said but I know it must have been very terrible because Kisa looked at me with those pained eyes...

The worst thing of the whole ordeal was, Akito wasn't around the corner. I can't believe how stupid and jumpy I was. I wanted to apologize to Kisa but I couldn't...how could I explain my actions to her?

I'm such a moron. I hurt her so bad...I made her cry...'

"Hiro-kun? Are you ok?"

I looked up, Ritsu?'

I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, "I'm fine."

Ritsu looked at me curiously, "Are you sure? Your eyes look sort of-
"

"I told you I'm fine! What else do you want?!" I demanded angrily.

"Gomen nasai!! Sumimasen!! I didn't mean to accuse you of lying!! Sumimasen!! Gomen-nasai, Hiro-kun!!"

I looked at him, "Ritsu."

He paused from apologizing to asked, "Nani?"

"How can you apologize so quickly? So easily?"

Ritsu sat down beside me and replied softly, "I'm use to it...its like a reflex to me now."

I wish I could apologize so easily,' Hiro thought and noted the sorrowful look in Ritsu's eyes, "so why are you here?"

Ritsu held out a bag, "To give Kisa her birthday present."

I tighten my grip on the tiny box in my pocket, "What is it?"

"Glow in the dark stars, comets, planets and stuff for her room.
Kisa-chan's afraid of the dark, ne? What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing," I replied quickly.

"Everyone has some fears," Ritsu said quietly.

"Well, not me, ok?!"

"Gomen-nasai!! I shouldn't accuse you!! Sumimasen!! Gomen-nasai!!
I shouldn't force my opinions onto you!! Sumimasen!!"

I tuned Ritsu out, Ritsu's right though, everyone does have fears. What's mine? I'm terrified of Akito...of what he'd do, what he's capable of. I scare of seeing Kisa hurt and...'

"Kisa's tears..."

For some reason even through his loud screaming he was able to hear what I whispered and responded by saying, "You don't have to worry. I don't think you'll ever make Kisa cry, and if so only happy, joyful tears."

"No," I said, stupid monkey sure does know how to make me feel guilty.'

"But you care about her and will never hurt her. Knowing that someone cares about you will make you happier, ne?"

"But she doesn't know...she thinks I hate her."

"Why would she think that?" Ritsu asked.

I didn't mean to and didn't know why I'm telling Ritsu so much. In fact, I was amazed at how normal Ritsu was acting today, only a couple of loud-

But before I could finish that thought, Ritsu went berserk again. He must've misinterpreted my stare, because he began screaming, "Sumimasen!! I didn't mean to pry!! Gomen nasai!! I know I'm unworthy of being your confidant!!! Sumimasen!! I just thought you'd feel better if you let it all out!! Gomen!!"

"Shut up!" I cried, "you're being too loud and drawing too much attention."

"GOMEN NASAI!! I did not mean to make a scene!! Sumimasen!! I'm so sorry for my loudness!! SUMIMASEN!! GOMEN-"

"I'll tell you what happen, if you'd just shut up."

Ritsu fell silence, "Hai."

"..."

I felt like I've just been tricked. But I told him everything that happened.

I let out a sigh upon finishing my story.

"Hiro-kun, you don't have to worry. You were only trying to protect Kisa-chan. I'm sure she'll understand and be grateful for what you've done, once you explain it to her."

"Maybe it's better this way. Maybe I should be like Rin-neesan and stay away from Kisa in order to protect her."

Ritsu looked at me and smiled softly, "But Haru's not happy without Rin and she's not happy without Haru, either."

"But at least they're safe."

"I guess... Hiro-kun, I got to go and do something, gomen."

"It's ok."

Ritsu stood up and pat me on the head, "Everything will work out. Don't worry."

I swiped away his hand, "Don't do that! I'm not a little kid!!"

"Sumimasen!! I didn't mean to make Hiro-kun feel like a little kid! Gomen nasai!! I am so useless, I only wanted to comfort Hiro-
kun! Sumimasen!! I am so inadequate!! I don't deserve to live!!
Sumimasen!!"

I sighed, "Just go. I forgive you."

"Arigatou gozaimasu!"

"Leave," I said waved him off.

"Hai!" Ritsu said and left.

Finally some peace and quiet. But will Kisa really be sad without
me?' I wondered.

.

The sky was getting dark, so I should probably head home, but I still haven't figured out what to do. I suppose I should go apologize to Kisa and give her the present I brought her.

When I got back to the house, I found Kisa standing outside on the porch. She ran towards me, "Hiro-kun, are you ok?"

"Huh? Of course, why?"

"Ritsu-chan said he saw you crying because you were really regretful for what you said to me. You don't have to be, I wasn't mad at you or anything," Kisa said offering me a soft smile, "and I forgive you."

"But I haven't apologized yet..."

"Ritsu-chan did, he said it was on your behalf."

"So desu..." I said and pulled the small box out of my pocket and held it out to her.

"This is..."

"Your birthday present."

"Oh, ari-"

"Kisa-chan, I'm done decorating your room," Ritsu said walking out the door.

"Arigatou Ritsu-chan," Kisa asked.

"Don't mention it," Ritsu said.

Kisa looked at me and asked, "Can I open it, now?"

"Sure," I said and pulled Ritsu aside.

"Eh, Hiro-kun, what is it?"

"What did you say? How dare you...how could you tell Kisa that I cried? You made me look...weak," I hissed.

"Gomen nasai!! Sumimasen, Hiro-kun!! That wasn't my intention!! Gomen-nasai!! I only wanted to help!! I'm such a baka, I can't do anything right!! Sumimasen!!"

I looked over at Kisa who was looking at Ritsu worriedly, but then turned her attention to me and smiled slightly. She held out the barrettes I got her and mouthed, "Arigatou."

I gave her a soft smile back, then looked at Ritsu who was bowing and apologizing like crazy, Actually I should be saying arigatou gozaimasu' but I guess I'm not really good at that either.'

The End