Disclaimer: Schwarz and other Weiss Kreuss characters belongs to me not!!

Thank you to those who have waited a very looooong time for this chapter, especially Quince who always has her whip ready to strike every time I turned myself away from this fic and write other things. Thanks to my lecturers who finally give me a moment to breath now... Thanks to everyone who has reviewed in the past chapters.... And last but not least, BIG THANX to Annonymouse for doing the beta-reading.

Chapter 4: Choices


Nagi turned off his study lamp and looked again to a page full off writing in front of him. The essay was finished. He looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It was past midnight. He would have to get some rest to gain strength for the morning.

Silently he headed to his bed and tried to make himself comfortable under the blanket. With a soft clicking noise the lamp was turned off. The only light was the pale rays from a half moon in the sky. Nagi turned to the window and whispered good night to himself before he put himself to sleep.

It had not been an easy night for Nagi. Weariness still hung on his eyes in the morning as he poured some cereal to his bowl. He gazed at Crawford who was silently sipping his morning coffee with his eyes stuck on the morning paper. A part of him wanted to ask him to come to the Parents' Day, but the other part of him refused. What was the use of taking Crawford to such an occasion? Emotions like this were useless for assassins like them. Their relationship was only partners. Nothing more. And it was better to keep it that way.

He turned his eyes to his cereals. He just realized that he poured too much milk into the bowl. It spilled a little, but it seemed that Crawford did not notice this either. He hurried brushing away the white sweet scented drops from the table. Nagi peeked a little under his chocolate colored bangs. Crawford sat still across him; his face was hidden behind Monday paper.

//You want him to come?// A shadow of orange walked past him.

//No.// Nagi answered after he made sure that the orange haired German did not connect the three of them.

//Mind your own business, Schuldig!//

//He might have seen what's about to come.// Schuldig busied himself with a pan and a grab of streaky bacon. It wasn't a healthy breakfast, but what's so scary about death for an assassin? Any kinds of death, whether by gun, knife, extra supernatural power, or sickness, they're all just the same, all ends in nothingness.

//You're not telling him anything, Schuldig!// Nagi swallowed a spoonful Rice Crispies and took another spoonful to his mouth. Telepathic speaking required only the mind.

//I don't have to.// Schuldig grinned from behind his back.

Nagi did not answer.

//He is a precog, Nagi. He sees everything, he knows everything.// The red-head's voice sounded so repulsive with certain stresses on some points.

//You don't have to tell me.//

//And I also know about the parents' day, Nagi. I read it in your mind. And he might have seen it too.//

//You tell him nothing!// Nagi jerked from his seat, eyes glared at Schuldig. "I'm going to school," he said at last as Crawford looked towards his direction. He hurried grabbing his school bag and left the room.

"Have you been mocking him, Schuldig?" Crawford asked. He turned the page and continued reading. Calm and collected as usual. It didn't surprise him to see the orange hair trigger a quarrel so early in the morning. It's just another ordinary way to start a day with the telepath.

Schuldig tilted his head to face a pair of glasses shielded eyes. His lips grinned wide. "No," he snorted, "We were just chatting, Crawford."


Time really goes so fast for those who wait for nothing. Nagi eyed some of the parents walked about the school building, heading to their children's classes. He heard his schoolmates talking about them. Parents' Day was not that fun for teenagers. They would rather stay away from their parents, unlike the way it used to be during their childhood.

His eyes rolled from one corner to another. Watching people was one of his favorite past time. He'd rather be a spectator rather than a player. Being a spectator didn't need to be hurt, you didn't need to feel. He could ignore things he wished not to see. He could be safe behind the screen. But then, he did not feel so right lately. He realized that he felt jealous, not being able to join in the game. He regretted he could not join in when others laugh, and no one joined him when he was crying. He was lonely. Isolated.

Nagi shook his head to throw away his thought. He hated thinking about it and began to look around again, watching those unknown faces. There was no sign of Crawford. It was good for him. He didn't want to make any chaos at school because Crawford would surely draw people's attention to him. The man was all too much for an ordinary junior high school as this one.

But why bother thinking about it? He believed that Crawford would not come, even if he knew about the Parents' Day. He opened his file-binder and looked again at his essay. It was neatly written. Black ink on top of an off-white paper. It was a scratch of sin upon his innocence, if he still had it.

Drawing a sigh, he closed his binder and began watching the parents. Most of them were women. Mothers. They were talking to one another at the right hand side of the class. Extra chairs were put there while the students' desks were cramped. The normal eighty centimeters alleys between students' desks were reduced to fifty centimeters, giving extra sitting place for parents.

Noisy people. What were they talking about? Children. Complaints and praises on them. About prices that was ever increasing. Simple housewife's tales that was actually far more complicated than it seemed. Nagi knew well about the unknown hands that stirred the economy and politics. He worked for such people. He did the dirty work and took part in toying with that country, even the world, perhaps. //What would they think if they knew that the one who killed Minister Higashi two months ago shared class with their children?// he wondered.

The bell ring distracted the boy from his daydream. Sakoda-sensei walked into the room and the students greeted her. She threw back a smile and then she turned to the parents, saying that she was very glad to see them in her class, and how proud she were to have a class like this one. It was all useless nonsense. Funny that it reminded him of Crawford and how he handled Takatori's associates.

"… I have given the children the task to make a short essay about their families and told them to read it out loud," Nagi heard the teacher said, "I think it is good to know what the students think about their parents and family, don't you think?" Sakoda-sensei smiled. She eyed her students. Nagi's hands clasped tight. He wished that the teacher would ask the others first. Perhaps they would run out of time and he did not have to read his essay in front of the others.

"Soumi-san," Sakoda-sensei called, "would you like to read your essay?"

Nagi drew a breath. He was relieved. His eyes followed a girl with a pony tail on her hair making her place in front of the class to present her writing. She was one of the three girls Nagi found talking about him in the locker room a few days ago. She was one of the best students in class, being in the second place after Nagi. But she looked very confident standing there, telling about her mother who raised her alone because her father left them and her little brother who always made fun of her. Nagi caught her winking to somewhere at the parents seat, to her mother. The woman winked back to her.

Nagi ducked his head lower. His bangs touched the cedar colored surface of the table. He was afraid of when he was going to be told to read his essay in front of these people. These unknown people. The eyes that would look at him and judge him from what he wrote. The lips that would whisper how ab normal his life had been. And he had no one to gain strength from. No one. At least not here.

He wished he was behind his computer screen.


"Naoe-san," Sakoda-sensei called, "Will you read your essay?"

Nagi jumped. "H-hai," he muttered slowly and walked to the front of the class. He eyed the people in front of him. All eyes fixed on him. Waiting. Waiting, but Nagi kept silent. He felt nervous in front of these people. He might be able to face the most villainous person in the world from day to day, but he found it hard to read a simple essay there.

"Naoe-san, is any problems?" the teacher asked. She looked at Nagi with concern. //The boy's guardian did not make it to the Parents' Day. Perhaps he was uneasy because other children had someone from their family while he didn't.// "Naoe-san?"

The brown haired boy merely shook his head.

"I know that your guardian cannot come, but we would love to hear your essay," the woman said again. She nodded to the parents asking them to encourage the boy.

Nagi eyed each the people before him with a sweep of his eye. Those eyes looked back at him. Somehow he gained back his confidence as he stared into those wondering faces. His lips curled a trace of a smile and he took a deep breath before he began his essay.


Life is a matter of choice, he began. Whether you choose to live in hell or heaven, it's all up to you. And the same goes to me, whether I choose to have a family or not, it's all up to me. He took another breath, I'm saying this, because I have been offered with choices and I have chosen.

My parents died years ago and I can't even remember their faces.

//And it was I who chose to kill my father… though… I didn't expect to….//

Realizing that he had paused for a while within his own thought, he continued, trying to keep his voice as stable as possible.

It does not really matter. All I knew was that they would never come back. I was put under social care for orphans. There was a rule that I learned about that place; we were put under certain numbers and systems and if we left, we would be replaced by other children. So it did not matter when somebody ran away, got ill or even died.

We were supplied with food, clothing, and education, something I would rather call as a bribe from the government. A show to the public to gain more votes in the election. Sometimes the children were told to dress up and meet public figures or politicians, if they wanted to raise their popularity by giving charity. Other than that, no one ever cared about us. So we ended up having to take care of ourselves. Those who could defend themselves had everything. The smaller ones became the mediocre of the mediocre, as I would say.

//If I had the same evil heart I have today, I would have smashed them to the closet.//

Many of us tried to leave. The lucky ones were taken and adopted. Others ran away. Some of them came back because at least there's food and shelter to sleep in. Some ended up in somewhere people would rather not know. I chose to stay because I thought I had no other choice until I got fed up and decided that there's got to be another way of life rather than depending on other's charity.

It was not an easy life outside "the shelter", especially when you were only 10. But sooner or later you'd learn how to live. He gazed up for some moments before he drew out a sigh and continued, Choose the way you'd like to earn. There are some easy sources of money out there. Things that seem surreal, but they exist. And I was one of them.

His eyes looked up and he smiled an evil grin as he saw the faces of those middle aged parents. Some looked disgusted. Some looked sorry. Some was furious. All those faces made his grin a bit wider. //Now you see this case does not only happen in newspaper. Ah, those funny faces….// He mused. The boy almost chuckled if he did not put himself under control. Some of his classmates began to whisper things.

But as I have said before, life is a matter of choices. At some certain point, I decided to stop.

//Did you, Nagi? Wasn't it he who chose to stop you?//

I was lucky to meet my guardian.

//Lucky? He was searching for me all over the country. And it was merely a job!//

It was him who offered me these two choices; I could go with him and be someone or I could rot in the streets and became a ghost of the society. I chose to go with him. At least, I could become an entity. Nagi forced a smile. He felt his voice was stuck on the top of his throat. //And he didn't give any choices. He took me away….//

Sometimes I think to myself, what would happen if I didn't meet him. He gave me everything I've ever needed to live. Food, shelter, and clothes, everything. And I don't have to dress up to get them. //I only need to work for him. Clean and simple.// I don't know why. But when I asked him once, he said because I reminded him of his childhood. At this point Nagi's voice trembled and he stopped for a while to keep his breath normal.

//I wish….//

He didn't even dare to continue his thought. It left a hollow inside his chest. It was only a prank Schuldig made some time ago because he was upset of something concerning Nagi. It was actually nothing else. But he wished, he really wished that it was true.

Nagi coughed a little to clear his throat. He looked at the people in front of him. The hushing voices had died away and they were all expecting him to continue. After taking a deep breath he spoke again, Crawford was not the only one supporting me on this choice. There are two other people. They are my guardian's business mates. The four of us live under the same roof and we solve our problems together...

Nagi took another breath. It was just too sweet to describe their job. //Solve our problem together? You mean like killing some targets or search for some illegal data? Or doing laundry for some certain politicians?//

Scattered pieces of thoughts shuffled inside his head.

//How long am I going to keep this lie?// It was fun at the beginning and now it felt like a burden to continue reading. There was still one paragraph to read. Funny that it was not that hard to write this joke down the night before. Now it stared at him like a gapping hole. Once he finished the essay, he had to deal with what people thought of him.

We support one another and stand back to back on anything. Perhaps it's because we are all alone in this world and we have no one else to lean on. We are like a band of brothers. I can always count on them just as they can always count on me.

There was another pause before he continued.

Funny, isn't it? You see, I lost my family long ago, out of a choice I did not have. Nagi forced another smile on his face as his sight blurred a little, and he whispered, But since life is just a matter of choice, I have chosen them to be my family.


- ende des Kapitel 4 -

I redid the whole lay out ... and I hope I didn't forget to put the italics at the right places... please do tell me if you found any.... I'd gladly replace them.

Now, on to the next chapter... or just a tiny little review first? ^__^