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Spike lay on his bed and stared blankly at the crypt's dreary gray ceiling. His mind raced with questions as he replayed the events of that evening. It was still hard to believe that Buffy's powers were gone. Everything Spike knew about her was in some way linked to the fact that she was the chosen one. He tried to picture her as a normal girl and found that he couldn't. It struck him that he had no clue who Buffy really was apart from her duties as slayer. Only her friends and family knew that side of her. The real Buffy was a mystery to Spike. What was even more of a mystery was why this seemed to bother him.
He knew he had feelings for her, and they weren't the "murderous, hateful" feelings that a vampire should have for a slayer. They were feelings of affection and warmth. It couldn't be love, could it?
"Bugger that!" Spike shouted at the ceiling. "I'm not in love with the bloody slayer. Just because she's all I ever think about doesn't mean I love her. And just because whenever I'm around her I want to grab her and kiss her doesn't mean I..."
He paused in mid sentence, the truth finally hitting him.
"Oh bugger."
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The next day was one Buffy hoped to quickly forget. It ranked somewhere between the day she was killed by the Master and the day she managed to blow up her old high school.
After her eight o'clock Calculus class (and the realization that she'd lost her book), Buffy raced over to the magic shop to see if Giles had heard anything new from the council. She entered the shop and found him dusting off the merchandise. Upon her arrival, he put down the feather duster and adjusted his glasses. 'Uttoh,' thought Buffy. 'Giles has his stern look. This can't be good.'
"Hello Buffy. I'm glad you're here. We need to talk." Giles motioned for her to take a seat.
"Umm...sure Giles. Listen, if this is about me patrolling last night, I want you to know that I had everything under control. I was totally responsible. Responsible Buffy. That's me."
Giles raised an eyebrow and gestured towards her arm. "And I suppose that bandage is evidence of your having everything under control?"
Buffy glanced at the thick wrap of gauze on her arm and mentally kicked herself for forgetting to wear a jacket. "This little bandage?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "It's nothing...just a scratch."
Giles was apparently not buying her story.
He sighed deeply. "Buffy, you know this pains me to say it, but I don't think it's safe for you to patrol on your own anymore until we restore your powers. It's just too much of a risk."
Buffy nodded her head eagerly. "That's exactly what I was thinking. See? I told you I was responsible. Don't worry. I already found someone who's willing to help with patrols."
"Oh... that's...excellent Buffy." Giles seemed surprised. "May I ask who this person is?"
Buffy squirmed in her seat. She was really hoping he wouldn't ask that question.
"It's...umm...Spike."
The shopkeeper nearly fell on the floor. "You want to go patrolling with Spike?! Buffy...I..." He took off his glasses and began cleaning them furiously. "I don't think that's a very wise idea."
"I know Spike hasn't been the most trustworthy of allies, but I think he's changing Giles. He really wants to help me."
"He's a vampire, Buffy." Giles was getting frustrated. "He'll lead you into a trap and without your powers you might not escape. He can't be trusted. Can't you see that?"
Buffy knew Giles had a point. A year ago she would have said the same thing about Spike, but something told her he was different now. He wanted to help her and she wanted to give him a chance to prove himself.
"Giles you have to trust me. I know that Spike's a vampire and I'll be careful, I promise. Angel was a vampire too and he..."
"Killed Jenny," finished Giles.
Buffy stared at her watcher in disbelief. Was that was why he was so adamant against her patrolling with Spike? He still hadn't forgiven Angel for killing Jenny.
Fighting back tears she spoke barely above a whisper, "Spike is different. He has a chip. Angel didn't."
"No." Giles had a fire in his eyes that Buffy had never seen before. "But Angel had a soul."
With that he stood up and walked towards the back of the shop. He stopped in front of the door and without turning around said, "Do what you want Buffy. My advice doesn't seem to mean much anymore."
He disappeared into the back room leaving behind a shocked and teary- eyed slayer.
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After Buffy left the magic shop, she returned to her dorm room. She couldn't get the conversation with Giles out of her head. Apparently he had never truly forgiven Angel for killing Jenny, even though he knew Angel had been soulless at the time. Maybe he was worried about Spike's chip malfunctioning and history repeating itself. The same thought had crossed Buffy's mind more than once, but she also knew that Spike was different from Angel. The difference between Angel's demon and Spike's demon was like night and day. Angelus had been a ruthless killer. Spike was...different. Buffy wasn't naïve. She knew that Spike had done his share of killing as well, but she also felt that he could change. There was something in his eyes. Something she couldn't quite explain, yet she had seen it there the other night. Spike could change. She knew it.
Willow entered the room and Buffy was torn from her thoughts.
"Hey Will." Buffy smiled at her red-headed friend. She didn't want to get into a conversation about gloomy Giles at the moment, so she decided not to mention what happened at the magic shop. "How was your class?"
The witch dropped her books and collapsed onto the bed next to Buffy's.
"Exhausting," she replied. "The professor is great, but he lectures so fast! I could barely keep up with my notes."
"Tell me about it," said Buffy. "Today in Calculus I had no clue what my professor was talking about. Of course it might have helped if I hadn't lost my book."
Willow frowned. "You lost another book? Last week you told me you couldn't find your Biology book either."
"That was so not my fault." Buffy protested. "I left it at the magic shop by accident and Anya sold it to a customer. She said she saw my name written on the front cover but thought it might have belonged to a different Buffy Summers."
Willow snickered and shook her head. "That's Anya for you. I saw her try and sell Giles' eyeglasses once. Needless to say, he wasn't too pleased."
Buffy's smile faded slightly when Willow mentioned the shopkeeper's name. The witch was quick to notice her friend's uneasiness.
"Is everything ok Buffy? I mean I know everything's not ok, with your powers missing and all, but is there something you want to talk about?"
Buffy knew she couldn't hide anything from Willow for very long. Sometimes she was sure her best friend could read her mind.
"Yeah Will. There are some things bothering me." 'Where do I start?' Buffy asked herself. She decided to tell Willow about the thing worrying her most.
"It's just that, without my powers I'm not very good at...well...anything. I mean I'm not very academic, that's so your department Will, and I'm not handy like Xander is. Even Anya's a better salesperson than I am. I couldn't even sell cookies when I was a girl scout. The only thing I'm really good at is slaying and now I might not even have that anymore."
Buffy was on the verge of tears again and Willow was quickly at her side.
"That's not true Buffy. You're good at lots of things other than slaying." Willow thought a moment and then continued. "No one cooks a better Thanksgiving dinner than you do. You're a loyal friend and you'd do anything to help the people you care about. You're an awesome decorator too. Remember what this room looked like before you designed a color scheme and rearranged the furniture? It looked like some sort of modern- day torture chamber until you fixed it up. So don't tell me you're no good at anything because I can go on and on."
Tears were falling from Buffy's eyes but they were no longer tears of sadness.
"Thanks Will. I needed that."
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It was nearing sunset and Buffy walked through the cemetery, stake in hand. She kept an eye out for a particular bleach-blond vampire as she made her way through the maze of tombstones. As the last glint of sunlight disappeared beyond the horizon, she could sense someone lurking in the bushes. Clenching the stake tightly in her hand, she moved to investigate. This time she wasn't going to be caught off guard.
The leaves of the bushes rustled softly and then stopped. Buffy strained to see and hear in the darkness. She heard the snap of a twig from behind and spun around to face her attacker. With an expert roundhouse kick she knocked the vampire off his feet and heard it fall to the ground. She stood over the creature, stake at the ready and noticed its bleached hair glimmering in the moonlight.
"Spike!" she yelled angrily, scowling down at the smirking vampire.
"Just testing your reflexes luv. Glad to see there's still some of the old slayer left in you."
Buffy had half a mind to stake the annoying vampire right then and there. "You wouldn't be laughing so hard if right now you were a pile of dust." As an afterthought she added, "But I might be."
Spike stood up and dusted off his leather jacket. "So what are we killing today slayer? Trolls, robots, midgets?"
"Vampires," Buffy replied handing him a stake. "Evil fangy creatures. You may have heard of them."
Spike grinned. "Vampires? You don't say. What's this world coming to?"
Buffy rolled her eyes but returned the grin. "Just watch my back, ok?"
"Whatever you say luv."
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Spike lay on his bed and stared blankly at the crypt's dreary gray ceiling. His mind raced with questions as he replayed the events of that evening. It was still hard to believe that Buffy's powers were gone. Everything Spike knew about her was in some way linked to the fact that she was the chosen one. He tried to picture her as a normal girl and found that he couldn't. It struck him that he had no clue who Buffy really was apart from her duties as slayer. Only her friends and family knew that side of her. The real Buffy was a mystery to Spike. What was even more of a mystery was why this seemed to bother him.
He knew he had feelings for her, and they weren't the "murderous, hateful" feelings that a vampire should have for a slayer. They were feelings of affection and warmth. It couldn't be love, could it?
"Bugger that!" Spike shouted at the ceiling. "I'm not in love with the bloody slayer. Just because she's all I ever think about doesn't mean I love her. And just because whenever I'm around her I want to grab her and kiss her doesn't mean I..."
He paused in mid sentence, the truth finally hitting him.
"Oh bugger."
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The next day was one Buffy hoped to quickly forget. It ranked somewhere between the day she was killed by the Master and the day she managed to blow up her old high school.
After her eight o'clock Calculus class (and the realization that she'd lost her book), Buffy raced over to the magic shop to see if Giles had heard anything new from the council. She entered the shop and found him dusting off the merchandise. Upon her arrival, he put down the feather duster and adjusted his glasses. 'Uttoh,' thought Buffy. 'Giles has his stern look. This can't be good.'
"Hello Buffy. I'm glad you're here. We need to talk." Giles motioned for her to take a seat.
"Umm...sure Giles. Listen, if this is about me patrolling last night, I want you to know that I had everything under control. I was totally responsible. Responsible Buffy. That's me."
Giles raised an eyebrow and gestured towards her arm. "And I suppose that bandage is evidence of your having everything under control?"
Buffy glanced at the thick wrap of gauze on her arm and mentally kicked herself for forgetting to wear a jacket. "This little bandage?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "It's nothing...just a scratch."
Giles was apparently not buying her story.
He sighed deeply. "Buffy, you know this pains me to say it, but I don't think it's safe for you to patrol on your own anymore until we restore your powers. It's just too much of a risk."
Buffy nodded her head eagerly. "That's exactly what I was thinking. See? I told you I was responsible. Don't worry. I already found someone who's willing to help with patrols."
"Oh... that's...excellent Buffy." Giles seemed surprised. "May I ask who this person is?"
Buffy squirmed in her seat. She was really hoping he wouldn't ask that question.
"It's...umm...Spike."
The shopkeeper nearly fell on the floor. "You want to go patrolling with Spike?! Buffy...I..." He took off his glasses and began cleaning them furiously. "I don't think that's a very wise idea."
"I know Spike hasn't been the most trustworthy of allies, but I think he's changing Giles. He really wants to help me."
"He's a vampire, Buffy." Giles was getting frustrated. "He'll lead you into a trap and without your powers you might not escape. He can't be trusted. Can't you see that?"
Buffy knew Giles had a point. A year ago she would have said the same thing about Spike, but something told her he was different now. He wanted to help her and she wanted to give him a chance to prove himself.
"Giles you have to trust me. I know that Spike's a vampire and I'll be careful, I promise. Angel was a vampire too and he..."
"Killed Jenny," finished Giles.
Buffy stared at her watcher in disbelief. Was that was why he was so adamant against her patrolling with Spike? He still hadn't forgiven Angel for killing Jenny.
Fighting back tears she spoke barely above a whisper, "Spike is different. He has a chip. Angel didn't."
"No." Giles had a fire in his eyes that Buffy had never seen before. "But Angel had a soul."
With that he stood up and walked towards the back of the shop. He stopped in front of the door and without turning around said, "Do what you want Buffy. My advice doesn't seem to mean much anymore."
He disappeared into the back room leaving behind a shocked and teary- eyed slayer.
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After Buffy left the magic shop, she returned to her dorm room. She couldn't get the conversation with Giles out of her head. Apparently he had never truly forgiven Angel for killing Jenny, even though he knew Angel had been soulless at the time. Maybe he was worried about Spike's chip malfunctioning and history repeating itself. The same thought had crossed Buffy's mind more than once, but she also knew that Spike was different from Angel. The difference between Angel's demon and Spike's demon was like night and day. Angelus had been a ruthless killer. Spike was...different. Buffy wasn't naïve. She knew that Spike had done his share of killing as well, but she also felt that he could change. There was something in his eyes. Something she couldn't quite explain, yet she had seen it there the other night. Spike could change. She knew it.
Willow entered the room and Buffy was torn from her thoughts.
"Hey Will." Buffy smiled at her red-headed friend. She didn't want to get into a conversation about gloomy Giles at the moment, so she decided not to mention what happened at the magic shop. "How was your class?"
The witch dropped her books and collapsed onto the bed next to Buffy's.
"Exhausting," she replied. "The professor is great, but he lectures so fast! I could barely keep up with my notes."
"Tell me about it," said Buffy. "Today in Calculus I had no clue what my professor was talking about. Of course it might have helped if I hadn't lost my book."
Willow frowned. "You lost another book? Last week you told me you couldn't find your Biology book either."
"That was so not my fault." Buffy protested. "I left it at the magic shop by accident and Anya sold it to a customer. She said she saw my name written on the front cover but thought it might have belonged to a different Buffy Summers."
Willow snickered and shook her head. "That's Anya for you. I saw her try and sell Giles' eyeglasses once. Needless to say, he wasn't too pleased."
Buffy's smile faded slightly when Willow mentioned the shopkeeper's name. The witch was quick to notice her friend's uneasiness.
"Is everything ok Buffy? I mean I know everything's not ok, with your powers missing and all, but is there something you want to talk about?"
Buffy knew she couldn't hide anything from Willow for very long. Sometimes she was sure her best friend could read her mind.
"Yeah Will. There are some things bothering me." 'Where do I start?' Buffy asked herself. She decided to tell Willow about the thing worrying her most.
"It's just that, without my powers I'm not very good at...well...anything. I mean I'm not very academic, that's so your department Will, and I'm not handy like Xander is. Even Anya's a better salesperson than I am. I couldn't even sell cookies when I was a girl scout. The only thing I'm really good at is slaying and now I might not even have that anymore."
Buffy was on the verge of tears again and Willow was quickly at her side.
"That's not true Buffy. You're good at lots of things other than slaying." Willow thought a moment and then continued. "No one cooks a better Thanksgiving dinner than you do. You're a loyal friend and you'd do anything to help the people you care about. You're an awesome decorator too. Remember what this room looked like before you designed a color scheme and rearranged the furniture? It looked like some sort of modern- day torture chamber until you fixed it up. So don't tell me you're no good at anything because I can go on and on."
Tears were falling from Buffy's eyes but they were no longer tears of sadness.
"Thanks Will. I needed that."
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It was nearing sunset and Buffy walked through the cemetery, stake in hand. She kept an eye out for a particular bleach-blond vampire as she made her way through the maze of tombstones. As the last glint of sunlight disappeared beyond the horizon, she could sense someone lurking in the bushes. Clenching the stake tightly in her hand, she moved to investigate. This time she wasn't going to be caught off guard.
The leaves of the bushes rustled softly and then stopped. Buffy strained to see and hear in the darkness. She heard the snap of a twig from behind and spun around to face her attacker. With an expert roundhouse kick she knocked the vampire off his feet and heard it fall to the ground. She stood over the creature, stake at the ready and noticed its bleached hair glimmering in the moonlight.
"Spike!" she yelled angrily, scowling down at the smirking vampire.
"Just testing your reflexes luv. Glad to see there's still some of the old slayer left in you."
Buffy had half a mind to stake the annoying vampire right then and there. "You wouldn't be laughing so hard if right now you were a pile of dust." As an afterthought she added, "But I might be."
Spike stood up and dusted off his leather jacket. "So what are we killing today slayer? Trolls, robots, midgets?"
"Vampires," Buffy replied handing him a stake. "Evil fangy creatures. You may have heard of them."
Spike grinned. "Vampires? You don't say. What's this world coming to?"
Buffy rolled her eyes but returned the grin. "Just watch my back, ok?"
"Whatever you say luv."