A/N: Stephanie, thanks for the beta.
Scintillation (noun) – The act of sparkling or twinkling
His fishing boots were expensive, along with just about everything else these days. Even when he didn't feel like going fishing, he went anyway because he felt obligated to the boots, or more accurately, their price tag. He dragged them out from the dusty confines of his closet and lifted them to his nose. The boots reeked of algae-infested marshes and hours of sitting in a cramped boat with the company of a few dead fish. He made a noise of disgust and threw them across the room; he'd spray them with something later. When they landed, he heard two loud thuds and then, seconds later, the sound of something smaller hitting the floor.
He looked over his shoulder in the direction that the boots landed and saw nothing. Curious, he wandered to the other side of the room. His toe hit something, and he bent down to pick it up. When he saw what it was, he exhaled deeply and fell backwards onto his bed. He wiped his hands on his jeans; he felt like he should have gloves, but this would have to do. He ran his thumb over the velvet box once before opening it.
There it was, just as he had left it a year ago.
The engagement ring. Her engagement ring.
He had rehearsed the proposal so many times in his head, in the shower, in the mirror, and into the phone while talking to Liz.
"Oh, Luke, again?" On the other side, Liz leaned on her kitchen counter and smiled tiredly. This was the third time in two weeks that Luke had called, asking if he could practice "one more time".
"I have to get this right."
"I promise you, no matter what comes out of your mouth, she'll say yes." She paused and added jokingly, "What is it with guys and thinking that they're never good enough?"
"If the women we loved weren't so perfect, maybe that wouldn't be a problem." He said, just as lighthearted.
Liz laughed. "Go ahead, big brother, go ahead. Pretend I'm Lorelai."
He breathed in and began to read off of a wrinkled note card. "Ever since the day I met you, I knew you were going to change my life…"
The ring was intact; he'd never even held it. He just paid for it and left, assuming that soon he'd be holding her hand to his lips, and from that moment on, he could see the ring any time he wanted. Unfortunately, things just didn't work out the way he had planned. The silver ring sat patiently in its bed of black velvet, its scintillating nature tempting Luke to touch it.
Finally, he did.
He held it between his index finger and thumb, turning it over and over at different angles. The light penetrating through his sheer curtains caught the edges of the diamond and he sighed. It was gorgeous. It looked like something that a celebrity would spend tens of thousands of dollars on, not something crafted by a local jeweler that Liz knew from "some guy a couple years ago at this place". He was short on money last year and was thankful for Liz's connections, albeit, strange connections. He remembered the drunk jeweler calling in the middle of the night, asking Luke if he wanted an ivy pattern running down the sides. In his half-asleep state, he'd muttered something along the lines of, "Do whatever the hell you want."
The ivy - complete with little stems and leaves sprouting from a continuous vine – ended up being beautiful, he decided.
A time later, he put the ring back in the box. It closed with a defining noise that resonated within the walls of his apartment. He ran a hand through his hair and wondered why he'd even bothered to keep the thing around. Most men would've been distraught and returned the ring to Tiffany's, Zales, or Kay's the day after the disaster.
Then he remembered.
He kept it around because it symbolized chance and opportunity, mixed in with a little bit of hope. He thought he'd have a second chance, maybe a third. He thought that they'd make up, bring their relationship to the edge of the cliff again and jump off together, hand in hand. He kept it around, hoping that time would heal wounds and he'd have another shot. Time left a scar instead.
Luke stood up, hope lost, and shoved the box in his pocket. He grabbed his jacket and headed down the stairs.
Tonight was the night. He had the ring box behind the counter, and the full intention of proposing when they came back from their date. In his fantasy, she would sit down, smile because she'd had a good time, tell him she loved him, and he'd reach for the coffee cup with the ring in it.
That cup never did reach his hands.
"That was fun," she said while swinging a camera on her arm. "I never thought that a lighting ceremony would be interesting."
He smiled. "I never thought it would be either, but every person who's been in my diner for the past week has crowing about it, so I figured we should go."
"Wise decision."
"Want some coffee?"
"Eh, not right now. Let's go for a walk and come back."
"Sure, let's go," Luke agreed confidently, not aware of the fact that later, when he came back, she wouldn't be with him.
He slipped an arm around her waist, and they began walking toward the Gazebo. They were both quiet for a moment, each lost in completely different thoughts. As quickly as it had descended upon them, the silence lifted.
"Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Where are we?"
"In the middle of Stars Hollow." Luke was confused. How could she not know where they were?
"No, I meant in this. Our relationship."
"Lorelai, how many times are you going to ask me that?"
"As many times as it takes to get the answer I want…?" she ventured.
He sighed. "What exactly is the answer you want?"
"I don't know! Something definite. Not something vague." She was beginning to lose her temper. It was late and she wanted answers.
"All right, all right. We don't need to argue over this." Luke looked to the sky and thought, Why the hell is this happening tonight?
"We're in a good place, Lorelai, we enjoy each other's company and we love each other. There."
"That was vague." She crossed her arms.
"What were you looking for?! This is a sham relationship and I think we should break it off?"
"That's not even funny."
He threw his hands up. "I didn't say it was! I'm just frustrated."
"You're not the only one." She took a breath. "Well, do you think you might want to marry me one day in the near future?"
"One day, yes." It killed him to think that she'd been waiting.
"That sounded like a pretty far off "one day"."
"It could be…who knows? You can't rush things like that. When it's right, it'll happen."
"When is it going to be right? What clues are you going to need to know that it's right?"
"I don't know! Why do you always have to ask so many questions? Why can't you ever take anything for face value? Just let things happen when they happen! You don't have to scrutinize everything!"
"Do you really want to know why I'm always asking questions?"
"Yes, because it would make my life a whole lot easier."
"Of course, it's all about your life," Lorelai spoke quickly, as not to allow him to comment on that, "but once in awhile, I'd like you to make it about our life. I keep asking you questions because you never give me the answers. That's why."
He was on the verge of screaming, "There's a damn ring in the diner with your name on it. If you want it, then go get it."
"I never know how to answer. You know I'm not a romantic guy. I can't answer you in the same way that the guys in the movies can."
"I know that."
"Then why do you keep hoping for something more than what I give?"
"Because people change, and you've changed so much in these past couple of years we've been together. You have honest feelings for something, someone, preferably me, that you could share, and it's disappointing that you just keep them to yourself."
"I've told you how I feel about you!"
"Have you?" She gave him a look just then, one that clearly said, "Then why haven't you proposed?"
He didn't have a response to that. Lorelai knew he wouldn't.
"That's what I thought." She uncrossed her arms and started to walk away.
He ran up behind her and jogged to keep up with her brisk pace. "Lorelai, wait."
She kept going. "That's what I've been doing. Waiting."
"Come back to the diner for a minute and have coffee. It'll make you feel better and we can talk this out," Luke pleaded desperately.
"Not really in the mood."
"Please."
She halted and looked at him. "Come on, Luke, it's over."
"What?"
"You know just as well as I do. It's only causing us more hurt by trying to work it out. We were good friends at one point, you know. It can happen again."
And with that, she walked away again, and this time, he let her go.
When Luke got back to the diner, he took the box out of the cup and went upstairs. He sat on his bed for a few minutes, tossing the box into the air and catching it over and over. His heart finally got the best of him and he headed over to the phone. He dialed, heard it ring, and in the end, wasn't surprised that nobody picked up.
He shoved the box into one of his fishing boots and put it in the closet, praying that he'd never see it again.
Lorelai managed to keep it together until she got home, but as soon as she stepped into her room, she broke down. This wasn't what she had wanted at all. The point of her question was to find out if he was ready to marry her in the same way that she was ready to marry him, not to break off the relationship completely. As she covered her face with a pillow, she knew that she'd be regretting this for the rest of her life.
The phone rang and she only cried harder.
He walked up to the counter and looked around for an employee. There was nobody to be seen, so he tapped the bell, the sign beside it reading: "Ring if nobody's around".
A scraggly man in a black t-shirt and jeans came out from the back room. Clean-shaven, non-smoking, and non-drinking Luke seemed out of place in this joint. The man eyed him and slammed the back of his hand on the counter.
"What have you got for me?"
Luke dropped the box into his palm and looked away.
The man opened it and a sparkle hit him in the eye. "Whoa." He took the ring out and balanced it on his palm, bouncing it a little. "This is pretty. Custom-made?"
"Yep."
"Wow. The diamond is perfect. The lady this was for must've been stunning."
"She was."
"Dude, are you sure you want to pawn this? As much money as I could make off of this later, I think you'd benefit by keeping it." The employee carefully placed the ring back into the box and held it out.
Luke took it out of his hand and placed it back into his pocket. "Yeah, I'll keep it. Sorry for the trouble."
"No problem, man. Just doing what I can. You have a nice day now."
"You too."
Luke exited the store, glad he'd decided to keep it. He thought it strange that random people knew you better than you knew yourself. Never mind that he'd driven more than an hour to get here; he could come to peace with his thoughts now. He would hang on to this ring in the same way that he held onto hope for another chance.
Back in Stars Hollow, he saw her out of the corner of his eye as he drove down the main street. She was waving down the street excitedly to Sookie, as if she had some great news to share.
Later in private, he thought to himself that her hand would've looked better with the ring on it.