Chapter Six
I Love You
A Song by Sarah McLachlan
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Italics – Lyrics
Black – Any Narrative
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Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road
The pathway leading towards the tower was dusty and dry. The evening sun seemed to hang in a haze to the west. Zelgadis was walking to the tower, walking in his usual even strides, walking as though nothing mattered to him. Amelia was spying on him, but had at last decided that there was no reason to be shy. She would approach him like she did every other evening.
The sky was bright, and the moon peaked over a cloud, demanding little attention, but the silver eyes still saw Zelgadis and Amelia standing on the same dirt road - heading for each other.
We meet at the lights
I stare for awhile
The world around disappears
"Good evening Princess Amelia," Zel said formally as she came nearer to him.
"Hello, Zelgadis-san," she said cheerfully, noticing what a perfect aquamarine colour his eyes were, and how likable his half smile was.
"Did you have a good day off without our lessons?"
"It was okay. I really wanted to ask you how you were doing," she said trying harder than she had ever tried to cover up how she was feeling inside. She couldn't be the only one trying. Zelgadis was often very downhearted, and she now suspected that producing that half smile was quite the effort.
She hadn't had such a hard time putting it together that Rezo had been the one to betray Zelgadis. It hurt her so much more knowing that the sorrow he felt was that of one who had been actively hurt by someone he should have been able to trust, but she mustn't let him know what she had learned about his past. She had not earned it honestly, and must work harder than ever to be his friend.
"Don't worry about me Amelia. I'm sure you have bigger things to worry about," he said tilting his head toward the tower.
"It's just that you're not very happy, I've noticed," she said, poking a rock with the tip of her boot.
He touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers and brought her eyes up to meet his.
Let me surround you
My sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
"It's really amazing that you will let me touch you like this," he said dryly. "One would think that the Princess of Sayruun would not want to be touched by a monster like me."
"Oh, but you're not really a monster Zelgadis-san. You're a very good person." She was a little breathless. He had never talked to her quite like this before.
"Oh, but I really am," he said, letting go of her face, and turning to walk past her. "Don't stay out too late little princess," he called to her.
Oh and every time I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
Amelia watched his back, and watched him disappear behind the castle. She looked at the tower wearily. She didn't want to go back. It seemed that if she were trapped by Dagzelis, that there would be no one to save her, as Zel had not gone in the front door. He must have something else to do. The sun had not yet set and the sky seemed so light as to make this little piece of the world heaven, but not heaven.
He was under the same sky. He was seeing the same sunset, even if he wasn't sitting beside her.
She walked around the edge of what seemed to be the property; at least Zelgadis never suggested she practice there. There were wild flowers, and clover blossoming here and there. It was really beautiful here. It seemed to her as though any sort of magic belonged here.
She crouched in the grass, picking a few random flowers that seemed to cheer her heart. The colourful blooms picked up the breeze and bobbed their heads, just a little bit. The wind caught her hair too, and brought one of her hands to her face to keep it out of her mouth.
Then she heard it. A low voice reciting spells. Spells she had never heard before. Spells that brought such gladness to her feelings that she had to see who it was that was working that sorcery.
She saw the sheen of his silver-blue hair before she saw the rest of his figure. He was practicing without her.
Just then it was obvious.
And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night's
Too long
And cold here
Without you
The stars raced as an army to the battle call and the wind rushed to its summons, and there Zelgadis stood in the midst of the sprawling spirit of nature working every element to its full potential.
This was shamanism. The truth of the sorcery he tried to teach her had not come home to her senses until she saw Zelgadis practicing. The trees bustled and shook their leaves at him and the long stalks of grass came after him in waves. She felt at peace as never before, and it seemed as though her heart would stop beating at the majesty of it – the majesty of him.
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the strength to say I need you so
She found she had risen to her feet, staring at him, forgetting entirely that he had not invited her to join him.
Zelgadis drew his sword now. He mouthed words she had never heard him say before and the blade took on a vital ruby stain. She looked carefully and thought that blood might spill from the hilt, but the blade began to shine brighter. The wind didn't die down as he seemed to be practicing with his sword as well as his magic.
He suddenly turned and faced her.
She swayed on her feet.
The cold look in his eyes spoke louder than if he had yelled at her.
He blinked. "Amelia?" he said, as though he were recognizing her for the first time. Her shoulders slumped. At least that look was not meant for her.
"Zelgadis-san," she said quietly, suddenly having nothing on her tongue she could say to fill the blunder with.
Oh and every time I'm close to you
There's so much I can't say
And you just walk away
"It's getting to be too late for you to be out and about. The sun has gone down," he said.
She shivered.
He sighed. "I'll take you back to the tower."
And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night's
Too long
And cold here
Without you
Amelia stared out her window. Yes, he had brought her back to the tower, but she could see him in the distance outside her window. The magic was gathering. The faint light appearing and disappearing close to where he was . . . even though that was far away.