Title: A Waltz of Days Past
Author: Silver Sun Chime )
Disclaimer: Yeah… I really do own Harry Potter… Yup.
Rating: PG-13
Category(s): Romance, Angst
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione (Others will be mentioned throughout the story)
Warnings: Homosexual relationships, strong language, mentions of rape, and sensuality
Summary: Four years after the fall of Voldemort, Harry Potter seemingly is living the perfect life. He is to be wed to his long-time crush Cho Chang, and has a large amount of Quidditch contracts in his possession. But when formal archenemy Draco Malfoy shows up at his doorstep battered and bruised, Harry realizes how empty his life is, and how it could improve.
Notes (Spoilers): Yeah… if you thought that Draco's gonna be raped your right. This story isn't really planned out, it develops as I write. But, I knew a muggle was going to beat him up someway. It's a horrible thing, but I thought the issue of rape would bring more heartache to the plot, and god knows I love angsty Harry/Draco stories! Oh, and the whole Draco in the Dark thingie will be explained later on in the story. It's a really vital part of the plot. Oh yeah… and for some reason I can't see any ellipsis' on the last chapter. Just to explain the bad grammar.
As usual it's been an eternity since I last updated this story. The plot is just not something I'm happy with… so I don't work on it instead of fixing it. I've taken my time to figure out what I want to do with this idea of mine. I've also needed to work on other things, like my short stories that are like my babies. The wait isn't fair, I know. But I've been considering abandoning this. I don't have the heart in me to throw in the towel yet, so we'll just see.
And what I said last chapter about updating faster… well I obviously lied.
And an interesting note on the random character Derek… the name came from my ex-boyfriend. He was a total asshole. Unfortunate things shall come the make-believe Derek's way. Just you wait…
Thank You's: driven to insanity – I know… but there are certain things that are necessary for the plot. The story will get happy… just have to wait a while longer. You'll see.
Insane Person : S – Thanks for the muses! I hate cliffhangers too, as a reader. But it's just so fun to write them! I can see reasons for Cho and Harry being together too, but I've been trying to make it seem easily breakable for the story.
Ralna Malfoy – Well, I should be able to. So I apologize if I've frustrated you with the wait. But it's always good to get feedback, and every new review I get inspires me to start writing again.
CharlieTheOtakuNymph – What happened to Draco, or just the entire premise? I'm strange. I've always been drawn to stories of tragedy and hardship. Not that this is going to end up tragic… no. But if your talking about the long wait… er… I completely agree with you.
Chapter Five: Transposing Love
Harry Potter had never been more ashamed of himself and his actions then he felt that night.
Why?
Sure, during the first month of dating Cho Chang, his love for Draco had lingered. But Cho had saved him, delivered him from a destructive attachment. He belonged to her just as she was bond to him. The rings on their fingered embodied the physical evidence of such a unity. It was pure, veracious love. But somehow, the doubt he had felt in the beginning had never left.
Why?
It was like his mind was addicted to that horrible, horrible word. If only he didn't have to wonder why life dealt such cruel hands. His heart—he could feel it breaking with each dubious question. If it were to shatter… how could Harry pick up the pieces? After constantly being bruised, cracked and torn, his heart was fragile. One more break and he would have an unfixable void in it's place. It would destroy him, and all who he loved.
Why?
It hurt him. And it hurt like hell. And yet he had to ask himself…
"Why did Draco die? Why couldn't he have brought me rapture."
The love he had once felt had not only lingered. It still scorched every fiber of his body; it was so powerful and whole. Thoughts of Draco soothed and yet frightened him, and ultimately, they kept him alive. And hearing that the blonde may have come back to this world… it brought Harry to a plane of existence so relaxing. The hope he had lost when Draco betrayed him came back. He wanted to see him so bad. He would die, if the rumors were just false accusations.
And yet, Draco had no claim to Harry. No, Harry was Cho's property. The loving and tender looks they shared, the way they passionately kissed, all setting in stone an unspoken ground for their lasting relationship. He was indebted to her, and she to him. It when beyond love, to something far deeper then the explainable. What the married couple shared was almost unreal.
And thus cause for that damned word—why? Why had he loved two completely different creatures? It was illogical, and brought nothing but stress. But he couldn't stop. Nor did he truthfully want to.
Harry thrived off of love and attention. He needed it. It was the medicine to heal his wounded heart. The Dursley's emotional abuse and the seemingly irrational wanting of him dead, caused endless damage to his already screaming soul. He had felt so unwanted—dearly departed parents and relatives who saw him as an embarrassing burden—that he began to feel like nothing. He despised being nothing. He desperately wanted to be someone. And on his eleventh birthday he fulfilled this desire. He became Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived. It immediately became a blessing and as equal a curse. But through the bad, he found what he craved. Ron, Hermione, Sirius—they all loved him. They welcomed him no matter how naive or difficult he could be.
It was this same unyielding requisition for love that led Harry to a startling discovery. Cho Chang—the woman he married—had been nothing but a replacement. Draco had cheated on him, left him feeling disposable. He needed someone to wrap their arms around him when he cried, to whisper sweet promises into his willing ears.
His relationship with Cho was a lie, plain and simple. He had hidden the truth from himself… kept it locked away. And although he could never leave her, she wasn't a part of him the way Draco had been. And she never would be. The Asian beauty had glued together his heart with a cheap paste. But only Draco had the ability to mend it back together, healing it until it regained its former perfection.
It wasn't her fault, but Harry's own irresponsible mistake. He'd fucked up royally, and couldn't find the strength in himself to repair the damage he'd caused. He couldn't break her heart, and he convinced himself not to. He'd experienced his own heartbreak… to cede it to another so delicate would only make more suffering. Something he dreaded more than his own unhappiness.
And so, for one week Harry made Cho feel like the luckiest woman alive. He showered her with flowers and presents. They made love, contemplated future baby names—Gabriel, they decided on Gabriel—they even reviewed the tapes of their wedding day. Harry was in a critical state of denial, and spent every once of his time rebuilding that sense of perfection. He held her tighter than ever, made her laugh and smile, he tried so hard to forget his worries and the honest reality.
All the while, Cho began to feel a rift growing between them. His kisses, they weren't the same. He seemed distant, and his constant frown made her inwardly begin to cry. He had begun to change, to mature. She had hoped and prayed for the inevitable not to occur. But oh, she knew. The moment they were together she felt the lie underneath all of the affection. She knew it was fake and unhealthy. But she needed him for many of the same reasons.
Just like Harry's necklace, Cho had a ring of sentimental value. Cedric Diggory had given it to her. It was plain—a golden ring with Infinitias Infinitio Adamos etched around a small amethyst. But to her it was the most beautiful possesion she had ever come to own. Before the Tri-Wizard Tournament Cedric had given it to her as a promise ring, that one day the two were to be married. That day never came, he died to soon for Cho to properly handle. It had happened so fast. The love of her life—her soul mate—left her alone in a unsympathetic world.
She two had found a replacement in Harry. It wasn't love in every sense of the word, but it was as truthful as Cho could ever muster again. But she would never lose Harry, even if what they had wasn't real. Because the only thing that could ever come between them was Draco Malfoy… and he was thankfully dead.
They were two lost souls who needed someone just like them. It was fate in Cho's eyes. The epic love stories were never what they wanted from one another. They simply needed stability. At least, that was all she needed. But Harry, he would eventually find that he couldn't live without the passion of true love. She knew, and regretted, that. But when it happened, she had vowed to let him go. Unlike Harry, she didn't need to ask the word why. She already knew.
The lies continued for that final week. And how beautiful it was. But as Harry opened the front door of his house they came crashing down in one climax of revelation.
Why?
His eyes widened and his mouth dropped. Forming tears began to sting his eyes, and he asked that haunting question once more.
As he stared at a broken Draco Malfoy collapsed at his doorway.
A/N: I did it! Yeah! Was it any good? I feel like this story is all shaky. It's really bugging me. When I first posted this fic, I didn't really have a plan for the entire story, and I think it might show. Because of this, I get stuck constantly with what to do next… Anyway, please review to get another chapter! Click on the little blue box thing or I'll bite you! I'm serious. I'll find you and bite you. And I'm not weird! I swear.