I know she's watching me. She does that a lot. I can see her out of the corner of my eye, standing in the doorway and watch as I pound on the punching bag. As far as I know, she has no idea that I'm aware of her being there. That's what she does, and she isn't hurting anyone, so I don't say anything.

This time, Rose doesn't just leave without saying anything. "Mom?"

"Yes?" I say, delivering one last punch.

"Can I talk to you?"

She gets that from her father. "Sure," I tell her, tossing my gloves onto the floor before going to her.

Rose sits on the floor, and I follow her lead. "Leran likes me," she says finally. "How do I get him to stop?"

I resist the urge to smile. "You can't make someone stop liking you," I say. "In most cases, anyway. Why do you want him to stop liking you?"

"Because he's icky. Everyone here is icky."

"Icky?" I repeat, raising my eyebrows. I'm assuming that's another Earth term she's picked up. "You know, Rose, you're going to meet a lot of people that you don't like, or don't like you, or who are icky. And the only way to deal with them- besides killing them- is to just deal with them. Even boys who have crushes on you."

"But I don't want him to," Rose says, pouting a little.

"Trust me," I say, "the day will come when you don't think that way anymore."

"Did you used to think like this, too?" she asks, resting her head against my arm.

Like I remember something like that. "I'm sure when I was your age, I thought boys were icky, too," I say. How did she get me saying "icky"?

"And just look at you now."

I can't help but to smile at that. She's right.

"So," Rose begins slowly, "why don't you think Dad is icky?"

Oh, thank you. How do I answer that one? "Because he's not," I say finally.

"And it's not a spec... speez..."

"Species?" I say. New word for her, but I get the gist of what she's saying.

"Species. That's what I said. And it's not a species thing? You don't think humans are icky?" she says.

"No. You don't have to worry about that." The odds are slim to none that she's going to find another human out here, so there goes that.

"Well, what if I'm icky?"

Aha, one of those hidden insecurities. She's an amazingly self-assured little girl, but every once in a while she'll remind us that she really is just a little girl. "There is nothing wrong with you, Rose," I assure her, putting my arm around her.

"But I'm different," she tells me.

"Yes, you are. Consider it a good thing. Life would be pretty boring if everyone was the same." Trust me, I speak from experience.

She nods, accepting that answer. "So why'd we leave Moya to come here?" she prods.

Not this again. "You know why," I remind her.

"But everyone's the same and I don't like anyone. Let's go back. I can take the bad guys."

I know, don't encourage her in deciding she can beat anyone she meets. Her ego will only get inflated, and then someone will come along to prove her wrong. I'm not planning on letting that happen. "Maybe, but we're not taking any chances with you. You are too special to be put at risk."

She's not happy with that. She crosses her arms, saying simply, "Save it for the kids."

Rose is silent for a long time, and I know she's going to try to floor me with something. And she does. "Are you going to have a baby?" she asks.

Where did that come from? "No," I say, half-panicked even at the suggestion. "What brought that on?"

"I can't figure it out. I heard you and Dad fighting last weeken about my sister," Rose says.

For a microt I think my heart has stopped beating. No, there it goes again. We hadn't told her about John's daughter; although I thought she should know, that was a subject John didn't want to discuss. But if Rose knew, she'd make sure he talked about it. I'm not looking forward to that conversation. "Your sister?" I repeat.

"Where is she? Why don't I know her?" she asks.

I sigh, trying to figure out exactly what I can say. I can't refuse to tell her, but there's a reason I
didn't go against John's wishes to keep this quiet. "Well," I start, "she's hasn't been born yet. Won't be for a long time. She doesn't even technically exist yet."

Rose frowns. "So how is she my sister?"

"You're half-sisters. You have the same father, but different mothers," I say, hoping she doesn't keep on that subject. John can handle that question.

"So... when she's born, I'll be old," she says. "Will I be able to meet her?"

"You might," I say. "If you want to. And you know what? Any other questions will have to wait until your father gets home."

"Okay," Rose says reluctantly. "There aren't any more kids, are there?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, then you should have more kids."

"Not you too," I mutter. You would not believe how many times I've been told that. It gets old fast.

She must see the expression on my face. "You're a good mom. You should spread it around," she explains.

All right, that I can deal with. I'm a little flattered by it, in fact. "That's easy when I've got a good daughter," I say with a smile.

"I thought I was a monster," she says.

"No, monsters are the things you think live under your bed," I tell her. "You're just a brat."

"Is that good?"

"In your case it is." I glance at her quickly. "Anything else you want to shock me with?

I didn't expect her to actually answer. Was I an accident? Rose asks.

Wow. She loves dropping bombshells today.

I say immediately, even through my shock. Why would you even think that?

She shrugs. I think too much.

Yes, she does, but I'm not going to discourage her. Let me tell you something, Rose, I begin, you were always loved. You were never an accident. You're here because your father and I wanted you to be. It's as simple as that.

she says slowly. So I'm not why you don't want to have any more kids?

I shake my head emphatically. It makes more sense now. She hears about her sister, starts wondering if she's even supposed to be here, and whether or not she's intruding on our lives. I never said any of that, I say. If I never have another child, you are not the reason.

We sink into silence, and after a moment Rose decides she's on a roll. When can we go back to Moya?

Figures she would get back on this subject. We've been through this, I say. We've been through this in the last ten minutes.

Just for a visit. I just want to see everyone. That's it, I swear.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind going back to Moya for a while. I think that I may have to bring that up to John. It really has been too long since we were there last. We'll see, I tell her.

She knows not to push it anymore. Can I watch you practice? she asks.

No harm in that, I say, and stand up. Do you feel any better?

Yeah. Can you teach me some stuff?

It's against my better judgment, but I know she's good with this kind of thing; I don't know how many times John or I have caught her trying to beat that punching bag. Come here, I say, and hand her my gloves.

This should keep her busy for a while. And I know the less time she has to mull this all over her, the easier it will be on John when he has to talk to her.