Aye, aye, aye, guys. I'm so sorry that's its taken me this long to update.
I've been super busy lately and have barely had any free time. But I have
a few minutes now, so I'll try to make the best of it. Don't be mad if
this chapter is a little on the short side ^ ^* anywhoo- here it
goes!!!!!! ^_^
The Essays of Daniel Thor:
Third Installment: First Assignment
"Whew, I am seriously getting tired of those Autobot scum." Demolisher plopped down into his chair after a long day of battling the said transformers. "I can't believe we lost another mini con!" He sighed as he flipped his modem on.
The computer whirred as it started up. As soon as it was running Demolisher went to check his email. To his delight there was an email from the college's web site.
**
Dear Daniel Thor,
Once again, thank you so much for choosing us to help you further your education. You have already contacted us to confirm your desire to pursue a career in English. Therefore, this e-mail comes with your first assignment attached. Take as much time as you need and send it back to us for grading when you are finished.
Sincerely-
Strictor Learnin Head of the esteemed online college, English for Idiots
**
"Hmm. Okay, I wonder what my new assignment will be." Demolisher mused as he clicked to open the attachment.
**
English for Idiots
Level one Assignment
Keep a daily journal for a week with lots of details. Tell a bit about yourself and your life.
If you need help contact a study help employee via admissions on our website.
Good luck.
**
Demolisher's optics blinked a little. "Good luck? What's that supposed to mean? Will I seriously need it?" He questioned himself.
He sighed as he drummed his fingers on his computer desk. "Where to start? Where to start..." He thought about the events of that day. He shrugged his shoulders. "Here goes nothing." He began to type.
**
Day: 1
Today was a rough day in battle. We were searching for the mini con that we had been ordered to find when from out of nowhere the Autobots popped up. Though, of course, it shouldn't have been much of a surprise. Wherever we are, they are. They always show up.
Anyways, as I was saying, us Decepticons were searching for the mini con when the Autobots showed up. While we locked into battle Starscream went off on his own, desperate to claim the mini con as his. Some comrade he is! Leaving his fellow warriors in the midst of battle to go off and do his own thing! Sometimes I think Megatron should be stricter with him.
Then again, I can't say that Starscream and me are actually comrades. We're not even friendly acquaintances! He's just always sort of grouchy and he thinks that the whole universe is out to get him. He's more paranoid than Sideways and Thrust combined! He keeps thinking that he will be the next Decepticon leader. Well, he better keep dreaming. He seems to forget the order of things around here. He may think he's second in command, but everybody knows I'm Megatron's right hand man. After all, who would want a rebellious bot on the verge of mutiny as your first officer? That's like automatic suicide.
Anyways, enough about that annoying flyer, back to the battle. Cyclonus, as usual, was the first to be shot down. He's so pathetic. I, of course, gave my all the cause. I was shooting Autobots right and left. I even landed a direct hit on their leader, Optimus Prime. But, they were too much for us. That pesky Hot Shot cut off my shoulder guns with his almighty Star Saber. It's going to take weeks for me to repair. Then Optimus cornered Megatron and everything went down hill from there. And once again Megatron had to call retreat. (He seems to have been doing that a lot lately.) We may not have been winning a lot of battles lately, but I'm at least glad that Megatron knows when we're beat.
**
A knock on the door interrupted Demolisher's typing.
"Who is it?" He quickly minimized the writing screen so no one would know what he had been typing.
"It's me." Starscream sheepishly called out from the other side of the door.
"What do you want?" Demolisher was hesitant to all the vengeful seeker entrance to his quarters.
"I just want to talk to you."
"?" Demolisher's optics widened. "O-k-a-y...." He hesitantly punched a few buttons and the door slid open. Starscream quickly hurried inside.
"Now what do you want?" Demolisher repeated his question as he folded his arms across his chest plating.
"I know you're good with words and all..." The nervous bot scratched the back of his head. "So I wanted your opinion on this." He thrusted several reading disks into the green Decepticon's hands.
"What is it?" Demolisher picked up and studied one of the small disks between his large fingers.
"It's a little something I've been working on. I want you to proofread it." The red bot nervously looked outside into the hall to see if anyone was coming.
"But what is it?" Demolisher pressed.
"Just read it." The bot pushed.
"Okay." Demolisher popped one of the disks into his computer. A title screen and several word documents popped up.
"A Thousand and One Ways to Reek Revenge?" Demolisher read the title and skeptically looked up at the other bot.
"That's just one of them." Starscream pointed out. "They're a series of books I've jotted down in my spare time. I want you to proofread them."
If Demolisher had eyebrows one would have risen way up. "I'm afraid to ask." He stared concernedly at the fellow Decepticon.
"The others are titled A Thousand and One Witty Comebacks to Stupid Things Your Boss Does and A Thousand and One Ways to Deal With Rage."
'Maybe I should have gone into psychiatry.' Demolisher's 'eyebrows' remained raised. He leaned forward in his chair and clasped his hands together on his knees. "As thrilled as I am that you're venting your rage through these books, I really think you need help." He deducted.
"That's number 94 and 1001." Starscream pointed out.
"What?" Demolisher cocked his head.
"Number 94 of A Thousand and One Ways to Deal With Rage: Write your rage down in a series of words. And number 1001: If all else fails, seek consoling."
'Hooohboy...' Demolisher's thoughts whistled as he slapped his head. 'Where to begin.'
"So, will you read them through for me?" Starscream pleaded like a little earth child.
Demolisher sighed. "All right, but Megatron better not catch wind of this."
"Thank you!" The seeker jumped up and grabbed the bulky bot around his shoulders and squeezed him tight.
"No...hugging...." Demolisher gasped for air.
"Uh...right." Starscream coughed a little to maintain his dignity as he set the startled bot down and patted the dust off of his shoulders. "I'm going now..." Starscream pointed to the door and quickly skedaddled.
Demolisher stared blankly out the door as the vapor dust from Starscream's hurried departure settled. "It seems...that this station close to Earth is beginning to affect everybody..." He stood in shock before plopping back down into his chair, his mouth agape.
"O-O-O-H Demolisher!" A familiar yet hated face poked itself into the startled bot's room.
Demolisher shifted his gaze to look at the copter bot Cyclonus who stood in his doorway. The nosey bot didn't even wait for the green one's consent to enter his room.
"Guess what? I've learned to play the drums! Do you want to hear my drum solo that goes with my rap song?" He beamed.
"0__o" (need I say more?)
"AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Demolisher jumped up and ran out of the room.
Cyclonus shrugged. "Hm, guess he must have finally snapped. It's about time. I did that a long time ago. Or, wait a minute!" He stopped. "Or have I always been this way?" He shrugged, smiling as he went off to find someone else to annoy.
--
^______^ sooo, was that relatively funny? I hope so. More of the journal shall be in the next chapter, but I thought I needed to cover Starscream's little secret this chapter. ^___^ plz review! And thanx to those who already have! ^____^
The Essays of Daniel Thor:
Third Installment: First Assignment
"Whew, I am seriously getting tired of those Autobot scum." Demolisher plopped down into his chair after a long day of battling the said transformers. "I can't believe we lost another mini con!" He sighed as he flipped his modem on.
The computer whirred as it started up. As soon as it was running Demolisher went to check his email. To his delight there was an email from the college's web site.
**
Dear Daniel Thor,
Once again, thank you so much for choosing us to help you further your education. You have already contacted us to confirm your desire to pursue a career in English. Therefore, this e-mail comes with your first assignment attached. Take as much time as you need and send it back to us for grading when you are finished.
Sincerely-
Strictor Learnin Head of the esteemed online college, English for Idiots
**
"Hmm. Okay, I wonder what my new assignment will be." Demolisher mused as he clicked to open the attachment.
**
English for Idiots
Level one Assignment
Keep a daily journal for a week with lots of details. Tell a bit about yourself and your life.
If you need help contact a study help employee via admissions on our website.
Good luck.
**
Demolisher's optics blinked a little. "Good luck? What's that supposed to mean? Will I seriously need it?" He questioned himself.
He sighed as he drummed his fingers on his computer desk. "Where to start? Where to start..." He thought about the events of that day. He shrugged his shoulders. "Here goes nothing." He began to type.
**
Day: 1
Today was a rough day in battle. We were searching for the mini con that we had been ordered to find when from out of nowhere the Autobots popped up. Though, of course, it shouldn't have been much of a surprise. Wherever we are, they are. They always show up.
Anyways, as I was saying, us Decepticons were searching for the mini con when the Autobots showed up. While we locked into battle Starscream went off on his own, desperate to claim the mini con as his. Some comrade he is! Leaving his fellow warriors in the midst of battle to go off and do his own thing! Sometimes I think Megatron should be stricter with him.
Then again, I can't say that Starscream and me are actually comrades. We're not even friendly acquaintances! He's just always sort of grouchy and he thinks that the whole universe is out to get him. He's more paranoid than Sideways and Thrust combined! He keeps thinking that he will be the next Decepticon leader. Well, he better keep dreaming. He seems to forget the order of things around here. He may think he's second in command, but everybody knows I'm Megatron's right hand man. After all, who would want a rebellious bot on the verge of mutiny as your first officer? That's like automatic suicide.
Anyways, enough about that annoying flyer, back to the battle. Cyclonus, as usual, was the first to be shot down. He's so pathetic. I, of course, gave my all the cause. I was shooting Autobots right and left. I even landed a direct hit on their leader, Optimus Prime. But, they were too much for us. That pesky Hot Shot cut off my shoulder guns with his almighty Star Saber. It's going to take weeks for me to repair. Then Optimus cornered Megatron and everything went down hill from there. And once again Megatron had to call retreat. (He seems to have been doing that a lot lately.) We may not have been winning a lot of battles lately, but I'm at least glad that Megatron knows when we're beat.
**
A knock on the door interrupted Demolisher's typing.
"Who is it?" He quickly minimized the writing screen so no one would know what he had been typing.
"It's me." Starscream sheepishly called out from the other side of the door.
"What do you want?" Demolisher was hesitant to all the vengeful seeker entrance to his quarters.
"I just want to talk to you."
"?" Demolisher's optics widened. "O-k-a-y...." He hesitantly punched a few buttons and the door slid open. Starscream quickly hurried inside.
"Now what do you want?" Demolisher repeated his question as he folded his arms across his chest plating.
"I know you're good with words and all..." The nervous bot scratched the back of his head. "So I wanted your opinion on this." He thrusted several reading disks into the green Decepticon's hands.
"What is it?" Demolisher picked up and studied one of the small disks between his large fingers.
"It's a little something I've been working on. I want you to proofread it." The red bot nervously looked outside into the hall to see if anyone was coming.
"But what is it?" Demolisher pressed.
"Just read it." The bot pushed.
"Okay." Demolisher popped one of the disks into his computer. A title screen and several word documents popped up.
"A Thousand and One Ways to Reek Revenge?" Demolisher read the title and skeptically looked up at the other bot.
"That's just one of them." Starscream pointed out. "They're a series of books I've jotted down in my spare time. I want you to proofread them."
If Demolisher had eyebrows one would have risen way up. "I'm afraid to ask." He stared concernedly at the fellow Decepticon.
"The others are titled A Thousand and One Witty Comebacks to Stupid Things Your Boss Does and A Thousand and One Ways to Deal With Rage."
'Maybe I should have gone into psychiatry.' Demolisher's 'eyebrows' remained raised. He leaned forward in his chair and clasped his hands together on his knees. "As thrilled as I am that you're venting your rage through these books, I really think you need help." He deducted.
"That's number 94 and 1001." Starscream pointed out.
"What?" Demolisher cocked his head.
"Number 94 of A Thousand and One Ways to Deal With Rage: Write your rage down in a series of words. And number 1001: If all else fails, seek consoling."
'Hooohboy...' Demolisher's thoughts whistled as he slapped his head. 'Where to begin.'
"So, will you read them through for me?" Starscream pleaded like a little earth child.
Demolisher sighed. "All right, but Megatron better not catch wind of this."
"Thank you!" The seeker jumped up and grabbed the bulky bot around his shoulders and squeezed him tight.
"No...hugging...." Demolisher gasped for air.
"Uh...right." Starscream coughed a little to maintain his dignity as he set the startled bot down and patted the dust off of his shoulders. "I'm going now..." Starscream pointed to the door and quickly skedaddled.
Demolisher stared blankly out the door as the vapor dust from Starscream's hurried departure settled. "It seems...that this station close to Earth is beginning to affect everybody..." He stood in shock before plopping back down into his chair, his mouth agape.
"O-O-O-H Demolisher!" A familiar yet hated face poked itself into the startled bot's room.
Demolisher shifted his gaze to look at the copter bot Cyclonus who stood in his doorway. The nosey bot didn't even wait for the green one's consent to enter his room.
"Guess what? I've learned to play the drums! Do you want to hear my drum solo that goes with my rap song?" He beamed.
"0__o" (need I say more?)
"AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Demolisher jumped up and ran out of the room.
Cyclonus shrugged. "Hm, guess he must have finally snapped. It's about time. I did that a long time ago. Or, wait a minute!" He stopped. "Or have I always been this way?" He shrugged, smiling as he went off to find someone else to annoy.
--
^______^ sooo, was that relatively funny? I hope so. More of the journal shall be in the next chapter, but I thought I needed to cover Starscream's little secret this chapter. ^___^ plz review! And thanx to those who already have! ^____^